Some Kind of Love Story
by UndercoverFabala
Summary: Canon-friendly Lily/James story. My version of what happened trying to stick to the books as closely as possible. I suck at summaries, but trust me, it's well worth a read.
1. How to crash a dinner party

The sun was glittering brightly on the dewy gardens of Blossom Court when a scraggly barn owl swooped over the neat curl of houses, landed lightly on the kitchen sill of number three, and rapped the glass with its claw. A slim, pretty girl pushed open the window to retrieve her morning copy of the Daily Prophet and dropped a copper knut into the owl's pouch. Her wavy red hair was caught up in a low pony tail and she wore a pretty pink nightgown under a light blue bathrobe that had a willow wand poking carelessly out of the pocket. To anyone else, this would seem like a very odd event. To the girl, it was just another part of her morning routine. Her name was Lily Evans and she was a witch fresh from her sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Lily distractedly shut the window as the owl took off. She turned with her tea to read the headline on the front page and suddenly dropped her cup. Heedless of the tinkle of broken glass and milky liquid seeping across the pristine linoleum, Lily collapsed into a chair, unfolded the paper and began reading frantically.

"Don't mind the mess," her sister Petunia said sarcastically as she came into the kitchen. "It's not like I don't have all day to clean up after you."

Lily grimly looked up at the older girl. She would usually have laughed at her sister's appearance, but felt closer to tears at the moment. Dressed in a short silk robe with her platinum blonde hair caught up in curlers and green paste masking her face, Petunia had entered the kitchen on her heels to avoid marring the fresh polish on her toenails and was attempting to open the cupboard without using her fingers to avoid a similar catastrophe.

"There was another attack last night. A wizard and an entire muggle family were killed," Lily informed her, tears glistening in her bottle-green eyes. "The wizard... I knew him. He was a few years ahead of me at school... He tried to save them."

Petunia's usually sharp face pinched in concern and she carefully took a seat next to her sister and patted her hand. "I'm sorry, Lil. Was it that..." she glanced around nervously and inadvertently lowered her voice, " You-Know-Who person, again?"

Lily nodded, reaching up to brush a tear off her cheek with the back of her hand. Their mother, Rose Evans entered the room and looked around in surprise. "Petunia, what did you do to your sister?" she asked wearily, assuming the girls had had another fight.

The blonde instantly bristled, but spoke in a low voice: "I didn't do anything, mum. Lily's had some bad news. It's not my fault she's clumsy when she's upset."

"Thanks, Tuny," Lily grunted with a watery smile. Petunia explained what had happened while Rose made tea for everyone and Lily used her wand to repair the broken tea cup and clean the spilled drink. By the time her mother sat down, everything was in order once again and she felt calmer. "It was just... a surprise. I mean, I know lots of people have... been hurt, but I've never _known_ one of them before. And after dad..."

Tension surged into the room as the three women did their best to distract themselves and pretend they weren't thinking of Alan Evans, who had died in a car accident just before Christmas. He had gone to pick up Lily from the station and lost control on the treacherous roadway. Lily had walked out of the accident with a few cuts and bruises, but her father had bled out at the scene. The loss of the bright, loving man had devastated the three women.

Their mother suddenly cleared her throat, cutting through the silence and moving to a safer subject. "Lily, I need you to help with the cleaning today. Everything needs to be ready for Tuny's big night."

Resolutely folding the paper, Lily mustered up a smile and said, "Sure, mum. I can help with cooking, too."

"Oh no. Absolutely not," Petunia interrupted sharply. "I'm not going to risk you doing something _funny_ to the food that turns Vernon into a walrus or something."

Lily couldn't help but laugh as this was the very image Petunia's massive boyfriend normally conjured up in her mind. He was an enormous hulk of a man with beady eyes, very little neck, and a bristly mustache that she thought any walrus would be proud of. The fact that she had only met the man a handful of times did not in any way dissuade her from despising him deeply.

"Well, that wouldn't take too much magic," she teased thoughtfully.

"Mum!" Petunia cried agitatedly.

"I'm only joking," Lily laughed, feeling a bit better. She pushed herself up from the table and stretched. "I suppose I'll go get dressed, then."

Petunia cast an appraising eye over her nightgown and robe and said sarcastically, "No, Lily, you should wear _that_. I'm sure your date would love it."

"Ha, ha," Lily laughed humorlessly. "I haven't got a date and you know it. Besides, Vernon might be a little to scandalized if I show up in my jams for dinner." She had turned toward the door when her sister let out a shrill scream and spun to find the older girl had somehow launched herself, trembling, onto the table and was pointing frantically at the corner of the room.

"_A_ _rat!_" she shrieked. Her mother immediately joined her and the pair clung to each other as the table wobbled dangerously, well out of reach of the fat, sleek rat who was sitting up and watching them curiously from his place beside the pantry.

"Oh, for goodness sake," Lily sighed, pulling out her wand and stunning the small creature, which fell backwards with a surprised squeak. Lily retrieved some plastic gloves from the cupboard under the sink before casting a disparaging glance at her squeamish relations. "You can come down, now. He's not going to hurt you."

"Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!" Petunia squealed, stamping her feet and causing the table to tremble violently. Rose quickly dropped down to the floor, pressing her hands on the table surface to steady it and the frightened girl received identical emerald glares.

"I'm not going to kill it, Tuny. It's not hurting anything," Lily announced as she crouched to lift the stunned creature in her gloved hands and moved to the door. Her mother was there to open it for her. "I'll just set him free in the alley where there'll be lots of fresh garbage for him to eat."

She missed whatever her sister thought about this plan as the door shut firmly behind her and she made her way gingerly to the alley behind their house. She wasn't wearing shoes, so she picked her way carefully across the pavement before setting the rodent down near a heaping dustbin. "There you are. A nice new home for you... if the cats don't get you. _Enervate_."

With another squeak, the rat bounded away and disappeared into the rubbish without a backward glance. Lily smiled and headed back to the house. Even with the help of magic, there was a lot of work to be done. For some reason, Vernon Dursley had decided to come for dinner. Though he had been dating her sister for nearly a year now, he shown little more than cursory interest in her family, and had been over only a handful of times. In keeping with her rigid personality, Petunia always became frantic whenever Vernon visited, demanding that the entire house be spotless before he darkened their door.

Lily spent the better part of the day cleaning, dusting, polishing and pruning. She was sweaty and exhausted by five when her sister called her in to get changed. Petunia tottered dangerously down the stairs on three-inch high heels, hissing at her sister to take off her shoes and not track anything on the carpet. For the evening, her painfully thin body was clad in a frilly floral dress done in lurid pinks and purples hanging low over a bony chest that had been cleverly disguised by several ropes of multicolored beads. Lily grinned as she went into her room for a change of clothes and saw that her sister had laid out a matronly dress in sea foam green for her.

"I don't think so," she laughed quietly, going to her wardrobe and pulling out a silk navy dress. Bundling up the fresh clothes, she went to take a shower, relieved that there was still hot water after her sister's extensive pampering.

She was drying her hair with her wand nearly twenty minutes later when her mother called up to her, "Lily, there's a visitor for you!"

Curiously, she flicked her wand, sending her hair springing into loose curls, and slipped on her shoes before heading for the stairs. Though Lily had friends at school, none of them had ever visited her at home and she certainly hadn't been expecting anyone. All of her childhood acquaintances had lost touch over the years, so she had no idea who could be here. She felt a thrill of alarm as she descended the stairs and caught sight of a familiar, dark head of hair.

James Potter stood in the entranceway, staring avidly at a painting on the wall and, thankfully, refraining from poking the stationary figures with his wand. He was a handsome boy with untidy black hair and rectangular glasses framing his hazel eyes. His tall, athletic figure was ridiculously clothed in dark slacks and a striped button-down shirt under a garish Christmas sweater that clashed horribly with a starry silk tie. James was one of her classmates and had served as Gryffindor's Prefect with her the last year, but he was far from a friend. He and his best mates were some of the cleverest, handsomest, most talented boys at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, they often chose to use their powers for evil rather than good and she was willing to wager he had been the worst Prefect in Hogwarts History, although there was no reliable way of determining this. For some reason, Lily often found herself opposing the boys when their well-planned pranks got out of hand. Generally, they had been getting better over the last year, but the very sight of James in her home made her stomach jump nervously.

"What are you doing here, Potter?" she hissed angrily as she stomped toward him, planting her hands on her hips and glaring up into his face. "And _what_ are you wearing?"

Unimpressed by her daunting glare, he held a bouquet of flowers under her nose with an innocent smile. "Am I too early for the dinner party?"

"How did you-?"

"Lily, why didn't you tell us you wanted to bring a date?" Rose broke in from behind them. Instantly, Lily's cheeks blazed and she turned to correct her mother, but James jumped in, throwing his arm around her shoulders and handing the flowers to the older woman.

"Oh, you know how Lily is, Mrs. Evans," he grinned unrepentantly. "She's just full of surprises. I hope it's not an inconvenience."

To Lily's astonishment, her mother actually blushed and beamed at the charming young man. "It's no trouble at all, um...?"

"James Potter, ma'am. I'm sure your daughter has mentioned me," he announced casually.

Rose's eyes widened in surprise and she glanced at Lily, who was too busy glaring daggers at his profile to notice. She had heard quite a lot about the infamous James Potter over the years, but never imagined that her daughter would give him an invitation to their home. "She certainly has. Mind you behave yourself, James. If you explode our toilets or start taking off your clothes, it'll be out straight to the curb for you."

James seemed delighted by the older woman's brief account of his more memorable achievements. "Of course, Mrs. Evans. I'll be on my best behavior."

Lily waited until her mother had gone back to the kitchen before rounding on the tall boy, slapping his arms and chest angrily. "What the _hell_ are you playing at, Potter? Are you spying on me now? How did you know where I lived?"

James easily caught her hands to ward off the attack and grinned down at her. "Calm down, Evans. I wouldn't call it spying..."

"Do you prefer stalking? Because that's not even _close _to being legal. I am warning you, James Potter, if you're not out of my house in thirty seconds I'll kick your ass just like I did first year," she spat furiously.

"Okay, first of all, you only kicked my ass first year because you were bigger than me," he reasoned lightly.

"It's not my fault you were such a scrawny little bit of... _nothing_ who shot his mouth off every few minutes_,_" Lily interrupted heatedly.

James smiled, unperturbed by the outburst. "And secondly, I'm bigger than you now and your mum's _expecting_ me. Wouldn't want to go through any sticky explanations when Vernon will be here any time, would we?"

Lily's irritation only increased as she realized James's argument made sense. Her mother would be furious if she found out Lily had been rude to him for no reason, no matter how she tried to explain that his _presence_ was reason enough. And if her mother was angry, Petunia would certainly throw a fit because Lily was spoiling her big night. There was no other alternative.

"Come with me," she grumbled, stomping upstairs. She was blissfully unaware of the young man's appreciation of the view and clinging material of her dress as she led him up to her room. Shutting the door briskly behind him, she spun and began loosening his tie.

"This is... unexpected," he said in surprise, gamely reaching for the hem of her dress and leaning forward with the clear intention of kissing her.

Jerking back angrily, she slapped his hands away from her thighs and gave him a deathly glare. Her fingers flew as she ripped off the tie and tossed it on her bed. "That's not what I was going for, Potter. You look _ridiculous_. Who dressed you?"

"Remus assured me I looked perfectly fine for a muggle dinner party," he replied in a hurt tone.

"Then he was having one over on you," she announced, plucking his glasses from his nose and setting them on her desk before tugging his sweater up. James went unnaturally still, obediently allowing her to draw the garment over his head and drop it on the bed beside the tie. Without his glasses he was only able to make out blurry shapes, so he was relieved when she returned them.

Taking a step back, she examined him critically, then sighed and moved forward to comb her fingers through his unruly hair. "Why do you always do your hair like this? Do you think it's cool to look like you just fell out of bed?"

James, who was feeling slightly lightheaded from the sensation of her hands in his hair, her extraordinarily close proximity, and the subtle smell of her perfume took a second to respond. "I don't do it like this. It just grows all over the place. My dad's hair is the same. It sort of runs in the family."

"Bet it drives your mum crazy," she murmured distractedly, brushing the untidy mop to the side and tilting her head to study the effect.

"Actually, she thinks it's sweet," he replied with a smile, his hazel eyes studying her face just as intently.

Lily sighed as his hair sprang stubbornly back into place and abandoned it to tuck his shirt into his pants. "Well, I guess it can't be helped. Give me your wand."

"What? No," he replied automatically as small throb of alarm pulsed in his stomach.

Catching the hand that had moved protectively to his back pocket, she glared at him seriously. "I am not about to let you go down to a dinner party with my family and my sister's brainless boyfriend with your wand. Now give it here, or get out. I don't care what my mother will say."

Reluctantly, he pulled his wand out of his pocket and handed it over, the strange vulnerability he had felt without his glasses surging up again. Deliberately, she set the wand next to her own on the desk and turned to him. "All right then. Here are the rules-"

"Rules? You _do _know who I am, right?" James asked with a wry grin.

"Break them and I kill you," she told him earnestly. With a falsely frightened expression and an exaggerated gulp, he nodded gravely. "Right. No magic of any kind. No references to the magical world. Vernon Dursley is the biggest muggle you will ever meet. Stick to boring subjects like the weather and he'll be happy. _ No_ arguing. Background: we attend Smith's Academy in Chiswick and I'm hoping to go to Oxford next year. You and I are-"

"Engaged?"

"Friends," she corrected acidly. "You had better behave yourself, Potter, or I promise you will live only a very short while to regret it."

James smiled slyly. "Lovely. Now, tell me my incentive to remember all of this and be on my best behavior."

Lily glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "You mean threat of torture and death aren't enough?"

"We both know you're not going to kill me, Lily," he chuckled quietly.

The redhead sighed angrily and stared at the floor. She should have expected something like this. James Potter had been trying to blackmail her for the past two years into giving in to his frequent bids for affection. She knew what he wanted and it galled her that he was finally in a position to get it. "Fine, I'll give you a kiss."

"I want a date," he announced stubbornly. Her jaw dropped and she gave him an incredulous look. "One date in Hogsmede lasting a minimum of two hours. I will pick you up and you will dress nice _and_ converse pleasantly the entire evening. When I take you back to the dormitory, you will let me hold your hand and we will share an obligatory good night kiss. Any breach of contract will result in further punishment of my choosing."

"You're not going to tell me what to eat, too?" Lily asked sarcastically.

James reached up and lightly chucked his knuckles under her chin, smiling at her fondly. "Of course not. That would be ridiculous."

"So in exchange for a date with my family, you want another date at Hogsmede?"

"That's right," he replied triumphantly.

"And if I don't do exactly as you say, you'll do something worse?"

"It's a distinct possibility," he admitted easily.

He recognized the fiery rage flaring up in her green eyes, but was proud of the neat corner he had painted her into. She was clever, so he knew she could see it too. Finally, she sighed and glared at him, unwilling to take her defeat gracefully. "_Fine_, Potter. Just behave yourself tonight."

"It's a deal," he replied, offering her his hand. She shook it reluctantly and spun to the door, but was quickly pulled back into his arms. He deftly caught her jaw and kissed her before ducking away from the fist she swung at his head.

"That is _not_ behaving yourself, James Potter!" she spluttered furiously as she tore away from him.

James gave her another cocky grin and leaned in close. "That's true, but it was fun."

She hit him once more for good measure, but the doorbell was announcing Vernon's arrival and she didn't want to stay alone in her bedroom with James Potter any longer than necessary. The way he kept watching her, indeed, his very presence, made her uncomfortable. Like he was about to transfigure her nose into a gerbil at any moment. Catching his hand, she pulled him after her out of the room just in time to see Petunia letting her boyfriend into the parlour.

Her sister looked at her strangely when she entered with the unfamiliar young man and she rushed to introduce him. "James, this is my sister Petunia and her boyfriend, Vernon Dursley. This is James Potter, he's-"

She made the mistake of glancing at James and his hazel eyes twinkled as he shot a glance at Vernon. He was clearly communicating that he was as impressed with the hulking man as she had been. Lily had to choke back a laugh and James took advantage of the moment to reach out his hand and introduce himself as her boyfriend. Petunia, who had been subjected to hours of complaining about this particular young man, took the news in stride after a suspicious glance in her sister's direction. Lily shrugged helplessly before taking a seat on the sofa beside James.

"So you attend Smith's with Lily, do you?" Vernon began gruffly, making the best of his incarceration with this wild-haired weirdo. "How does it strike you?"

James grinned broadly and Lily winced, waiting for him to say something ridiculous. "I like it just fine, thanks. Both of my parents attended as well."

"I'm a Smeltings man, myself," Vernon replied, oblivious to Lily's sigh of relief. "What is it your father does?"

"He's a sort of... scientist. He works for the government," James replied with just the barest pause. Lily relaxed once more, blessing the Muggle Studies professor who had been able to beat that bit of information into his head. "What is it that you do, Vernon?"

Ignoring the fact that James seemed intensely amused by everything Vernon had to say, a matter that the hulking man was clearly unaware of as he droned on about his new company that made drills, the two men were able to converse amicably. Lily and Petunia kept exchanging nervous glances until Vernon asked James what he planned to do when he left school.

"Law enforcement," Lily broke in quickly with a smile as she pat James on the knee. She beamed up at him, doing her best to be the doting girlfriend because she was fairly certain he would behave himself better if she played along willingly. "He's looking into becoming a policeman. Isn't that right, darling?"

James swallowed convulsively, painfully aware of her hand on his leg and the endearing pet name. He stared at her for an uncomfortable moment before she nudged him. Belatedly, he replied, "Yes. Yes. Absolutely. I want to be a_ police _man. That's absolutely right, sweetheart."

"Dinner's ready," Rose broke in cheerfully.

Everyone got up to file into the dining room and Petunia caught Lily by the arm and whispered, "Is that _the_ James Potter from your school? The one that you hate? What the hell is he doing here?"

"Search me. He just showed up," Lily muttered apologetically. "He promised to behave himself if I pretended to be his girlfriend."

"Don't let him ruin this," she hissed quietly, releasing her sister and allowing Vernon to help her to her seat.

Unaware of the hushed conversation, James held her chair for her and Lily smiled and sat. Pushing her in, James leaned over her ear and asked, "Aren't we going to wait for your dad?"

Lily froze for an instant as her heart plummeted to her toes. She glanced around, but no one else appeared to have heard the question and she took a deep breath before smiling up at him and answering in a low voice. "No, James, dad can't make it tonight. He's dead."

She felt the tiniest inkling of satisfaction when his eyes widened in shock, but was swiftly overcome by her own personal pain. In order to distract herself, she turned to smile reassuringly at her sister and spotted the flowers that James had brought sitting prominently in a vase in the middle of the table. "Please tell me you didn't do anything to those," she begged out of the corner of her mouth while Vernon was busy filling up his plate.

"Do pixies count?" James replied coolly without looking at her.

"Oh no, mum! You know how Tuny's allergic to gladiolas," Lily cried abruptly, sweeping up the vase and hurrying to the kitchen. James followed her and she rounded on him when the door closed. "If this is your idea of good behavior, I need to have a talk with your mother! You might not care about my family, but my sister was very excited about tonight and you are going to ruin it!"

She was horrified as tears sprang into her eyes and she hurriedly put her back to him under the guise of setting the flowers on the counter. James moved to lean against the cupboard beside her, his face stony and impassive. After a few moments, Lily couldn't help the sniffle that escaped as she tried to inconspicuously brush away her tears.

"This isn't going well, is it?" James asked quietly.

"I always told you we'd be a hopeless couple," she laughed morosely. Finally, she looked up at him. "Why are you here, James? What's the joke?"

Completely straight-faced, James brushed his knuckles down her cheek and replied, "I missed you."

"We've only been out of school for a week," she reminded him quietly, turning away from his tender touch. "I'm sorry for surprising you about my dad. It wasn't very nice."

With an unexpected amount of tact, James didn't ask her any questions. Instead, he took her hand and pulled her toward the door. "They're probably wondering where we are."

Dinner passed civilly, with James managing to contain himself, though Lily was well aware he was itching to set a jinx on the vapid Vernon that he wouldn't soon recover from. She had experienced the same reaction in the past when Vernon had engaged in long, rambling soliloquize about all of the things he disliked, which generally encompassed anything that was interesting, creative, or the least bit out of the ordinary. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when Petunia and Vernon retired to the parlour while James and Lily offered to help with coffee.

In the kitchen, James caught sight of Lily's edition of the Prophet folded under the phone book and shot Lily an earnest look. "Did you read about...?"

"Yes," Lily replied quickly, not wanting to start crying again. "I still can't believe it."

"They caught one of them," he announced quietly, pulling the good china down from the cupboard for her. Petunia entered to check on coffee and gave him a sharp look. "Alastor Moody, the auror, spotted him running away from the scene and brought him in. His name's Selwyn, and with the new laws he'll go straight to Azkaban."

Lily bit her lip as she set the china on the tray with a shade more care than necessary and asked, "That's the prison, right?"

James was suddenly aware that all the Evans women were watching him keenly and reached up to uncomfortably rumple his hair. "Yeah. Azkaban is the wizard prison. It's on an island out in the middle of the sea somewhere. My dad went to interview one of the prisoners once and he said it was awful."

"What's so bad about it?" Petunia asked quietly. "Do they torture people, or what?"

"It's a bit worse than that,"James explained somberly. "The prison is guarded by these creatures called Dementors that feed on happiness. They basically take away your memories and make you go insane. As if that's not bad enough, they can also suck a person's soul out through their mouths. They call it a kiss. Not very funny, if you ask me."

James shuddered at the thought and the women digested this information and his reaction to it silently. After a moment, Petunia picked up the tray and returned to the parlor while their mother claimed a headache and went upstairs. Lily did her best to smile at James as she reached for what was left of the coffee and offered him a cup. "I'm not much on coffee. I'll probably have some cocoa."

"Remus is obsessed with chocolate," James laughed as he stirred cream into his drink.

Lily smiled and nodded. "I remember. One time when we were prefects together I accidentally tripped on something during rounds that knocked me out cold. I could never figure out what it was, but it was like an invisible carpet got pulled out from under me. When he brought me around, he kept shoving chocolate down my throat until I was able to get back to my room."

For some reason, the story seemed to make James uncomfortable and Lily quickly invited him out to the garden. They had just taken their seats on the patio when a large black dog loped into the yard. Lily laughed in delight and called the massive beast over before explaining: "He seems to be a stray, but he's very friendly. He's been coming around almost every day since I got back from school," she told James quickly, reaching her hand out to the bear-like animal.

She looked up to find James regarding the dog with keen interest as she scratched behind his ears. "What have you been calling him?"

"I was thinking Snuffles or something," she replied distractedly. "He's such a lover, but it's hard to pick a name that fits his size."

The dog panted contentedly before emitting a low woof and surging up into Lily's lap, licking her cheeks and ears enthusiastically. James roughly grabbed him by his scruff and dragged him away, giving the struggling animal an angry look. "Stop that!"

Lily laughed at James as the dog whined and tugged out of his grip to rub himself against her legs. She reached down to pat him fondly before glancing up at her clearly frustrated companion. "He's just a dog, James. You don't have to get jealous."

"So you finally admit I'm being jealous and not just stupid?" he shot back wryly.

Lily sighed and looked down, rubbing the dog's ears to give herself time to think before answering. When she looked up at James, her eyes were sad and tired. "Why do you feel the need to trick me into liking you, James? It's like you're always trying to prove you're better than me or something. Every time I see you, you have some clever ploy to trap me into doing what you want. I feel like I have to be on guard against you every moment of every _fucking_ day when we're at school. Why can't you just be yourself and see if I like you then?"

James stared at her, stunned. He had been teasing, expecting to get a rise out of her. Lily always seemed like she was ready for a fight and he was more than happy to give it to her. She'd never asked him why he did it. _He'd_ never thought about why. He just knew that the only time she really paid attention to him was when he was harassing her.

"Everybody loves you, James. Well, _almost_ everybody. So why would you think I'd be any different if you weren't hounding me every second of the day? No girl wants to be tricked into a relationship." she told him earnestly. "And the worst part is that I can't even have a normal boyfriend because of you. The last guy who asked me out for drinks disappeared before meeting me at the Three Broomsticks and turned up three days later wandering out of the Forbidden Forest with a boar's head! Don't think I don't know who was responsible for that, James Potter, because I'm not stupid."

"Why were you going out with a Hufflepuff anyway?" James asked sullenly, not bothering to deny the allegation.

"Because he asked me!" Lily laughed in exasperation. "I was fourteen and excited about being asked out by a boy two years older than me. I didn't know you and your mates were going to jump him. After that and the fantastic speech you made after winning the Quidditch Cup at the end of fifth year, every boy in the school has been too afraid to even talk to me in case you and your friends got wind of it."

"I didn't know you went to my quidditch games," James mused idly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I don't, but Alice told me about it afterwards. That was the day I hit you from behind with the bat-bogey hex and you had to go to the hospital wing."

James winced at the memory, but they were interrupted by Petunia rushing out, her face flushed with excitement. "Lily, oh my god! You'll never guess! Vernon just asked me to marry him!"

The pair stared at her in stunned surprise as she extended her hand to show off a twinkling diamond ring. It wasn't too flashy, but certainly looked expensive, which suited Vernon's personality perfectly. Lily stared at it for a moment before looking blankly up at her sister. "What did _you_ say?"

Petunia seemed to deflate and she stared at her angrily. "I said yes, of course! Aren't you going to congratulate me?"

"Oh... yes! Congratulations, Tuny. That's... that's fantastic," Lily said quickly, working to get over her shock as she stood and hugged the older girl. James added his best wishes and even the dog jumped up and wagged his tail enthusiastically. After a moment, Petunia hurried back inside to tell their mother the news, leaving James and Lily staring at each other blankly.

"So.. that was good, right?" James asked finally.

Lily shrugged. "Yes... They've been dating for a year now. Vernon is... he's exactly what Petunia wanted in a husband. Strong, hard-working, dependable..."

"So she could have also chosen to marry a toaster oven and been happy?" James asked wryly.

Against her will, Lily's mouth quirked. James saw the tiny smile and broke into a full grin. "The toaster would have had a better personality."

"That's true enough. Which reminds me, I brought something for you." He produced an envelope from his pocket and handed it over lackadaisically. Lily frowned as she recognized the Hogwarts crest. "Before you ask, no, I haven't been stealing your mail. Dumbledore was having tea with my parents and asked me to bring this over when he found out I was having dinner here."

"How did you find out about dinner anyway?" Lily asked distractedly as she broke the seal. Before he could answer, she squealed in delight, holding up the gold badge that had dropped into her hand. "I made Head Girl!"

She was so exhilarated that she grabbed James in a tight hug, which he returned enthusiastically. Unable to keep still, she surged to her feet, bouncing and flapping her hands excitedly. James laughed and pushed himself up, catching her around the waist and spinning her in a circle while the dog barked and raced around them. "Good girl, Lily. I knew you had it in you! And I promise not to cause you too much trouble this year."

Slightly flushed, she waved him away, feeling too good to be angry with him for the first time in her life. "Just because I'm Head Girl doesn't mean I expect you to stop being a pest, James. But don't get mad when I give you detention!"

"Well, that would be difficult anyway, wouldn't it?" he replied awkwardly, reaching up to rumple his hair.

Some hint of foreboding suddenly curdled in her stomach and she stared at him for a moment, sobering slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Well... Dumbledore's made me Head Boy," he announced uncomfortably.

"What?!?" Lily practically screamed.


	2. The best laid plans

Nearly a month later, Petunia stomped into the kitchen where her younger sister was reading a book while absently stirring a pot of chicken noodle soup. The only problem was, the redhead was seated at the table five feet away from the stove and manipulating the spoon by twisting her finger in a circle. For some reason, this simple act made Petunia furious and she stormed past her without a word. Sensing her irritation, Lily glanced up at the older girl and smiled kindly, receiving an irate glare in response.

"I thought you weren't allowed to do that outside of school," she snapped peevishly.

Unhurriedly, Lily set down her book and marked her page before she patiently explained, "Well, I'm not after they started enforcing that silly regulation about underaged wizardry, but since I took my tests, I can do whatever I like. Within reason, of course."

Petunia sniffed disdainfully before pulling a clean glass from the cupboard and filling it with water. Turning around, she glared at her sister over the rim of the cup. Lily had gone back to her book and didn't notice. Strained as her relationship with her sister had been since the family had found out she was a witch, it had somehow managed to get worse since Petunia had gotten engaged. Privately, Lily suspected it was related to the constant anxiety her sister experienced in her desperation to appear normal for her fiance."Just make sure you get all of this rubbish out of here before Vernon comes."

Lily fought the urge to laugh. She was so used to her sister's petulant moods by now that they hardly bothered her anymore. That is to say, she didn't let her sister know they bothered her. She settled for wry sarcasm instead of taking offense. "And we wouldn't want dear, ickle Vernon to find out you've got _this _sort of genes in your family, would we? Good heavens, you might even have a child with an imagination! Whatever would you do?"

"It's not funny, Lily," Petunia growled angrily. Taking a quick step to the table, she flipped one of the large books shut, causing her sister to give a very satisfying shout of protest as several heavy rolls of parchment bounced out onto the floor.

Having been blessed with a red head's natural temper and inability to cope under prolonged provocation, Lily shot up from her seat and swatted the older girl's hand out of the way. "Leave it, Tuny! These are my school books! You might not care if I fail everything, but I do."

"I thought you were Head Girl this year. Surely if you managed that position you can manage not to fail _all _your classes from one hour's lost studying," Petunia argued heatedly.

"Are you girls fighting again?" a voice called from upstairs.

"No mum!" The sisters called simultaneously. After exchanging piercing glares, Lily quickly began tidying up her school work while Petunia turned to stir the pot. Rose Evans had been ill lately, though she said the doctors didn't know what was wrong with her. The only thing they had agreed on was that she was to be exposed to as little stress as possible. That meant the sisters had to keep their escalating number of arguments a secret.

"You're not wearing _that_ tonight, are you?" Petunia asked acerbically, staring disdainfully at her sister's relaxed clothing as she was about to clear out of the room. Lily raised an eyebrow at the older girl's fussy mauve dress before turning to the door.

"Should I be wearing something else? I mean, it's not like I'll be going anywhere. I look perfectly Muggle." Petunia bristled at the pronouncement and Lily smiled in mock-surprise. "I mean _normal_."

"For your information," the angry blonde seethed, following her out of the room, "Vernon and his friends will be coming in for coffee after we go to dinner and I can't have you running around looking like some sort of homeless hippie. Vernon hates hippies-"

"Why does that not surprise me?" Lily murmured humorously.

"-_and _mum promised you wouldn't do anything to mess this up," Petunia finished in a scathing whisper.

Lily rolled her eyes and put her foot on the bottom step. "So me wearing jeans and a _shirt_ is enough to put your engagement in danger? That's ridiculous. How's this, Tuny? I'll stay in my room making no noise and pretending I don't exist and you can tell your friends I've gone out for the evening."

"Don't be smart, Lily," Rose Evans suddenly spoke up from behind her.

"I can't help it, mum. I was born this way," she quipped with a grin at the woman on the stairs. Rose gave her a weary look and Lily dropped her eyes to the top cover of the stack of books in her arms. "Sorry, Petunia."

Rose Evans gave her youngest daughter a small smile before edging to the side of the staircase to let her upstairs. "You know what I mean, Lily Anne. Don't be difficult. Your sister is very excited about tonight and it's our job to support her."

Lily sighed, slipping past her mother. It was the sort of thing her father would have said. She nudged open the door to her room with her toe and stepped inside, setting the pile of books beside all the others on her desk before closing the door behind her. Her room contained an odd assortment of objects that hinted at her interests. Usually a shy, kind person by nature, Lily's passions leaned toward books and painting, even some music, thanks to her mother. But there was another side to Lily that prompted her to adopt useful magical pursuits like Charms and Magical Medicine. She even dabbled in Potions.

Wearily, Lily moved to change, thinking hard about what sort of thing her sister would approve of her wearing around her fiance and his friends. Probably something dull. She considered changing her hair to mousy brown to meet with their approval since red was obviously too provocative. "I'm guessing robes are out," she chuckled softly as she looked through her wardrobe.

Petunia's shrill scream ripped through the air. "_Out!_ Out! Get _out!_ Mum! Make it _go!_"

"Lily, post for you!" Rose called calmly.

Lily raced back down the stairs in time to see a tawny brown owl fly out the window. "What are you playing at, Lily?" her sister shrieked. "Vernon will be here _any minute_. He can't find any of your bloody owls dropping in whenever they please!"

"Petunia! Language!" her mother reminded her in a slightly scandalized tone.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting any mail tonight," Lily cried in exasperation. Her mother handed her a thick, heavy envelope and she recognized the elegant, loopy writing of Albus Dumbledore, her school's headmaster.

_Ms. Lily Evans_

_3 Blossom Court_

_Ewell, Surrey_

"Finally," Lily sighed, ripping open the letter to read as quickly as she could.

Rose leaned curiously over her shoulder before kissing her temple. "Did he answer your question, sweetheart?"

Growling in frustration, Lily crumpled the paper and shook her head at her mother. Smoothing it out, she read, "Dear Ms. Evans, I do appreciate your inquiries pertaining to my health and am pleased to inform you that I have not become more mentally infirm than I was previously aware of, have not gone astray of a rampaging bludger or magical creature, and am not, as far as I know, under the influence of any form of curse, hex, jinx or charm. I understand your consternation at my decision to appoint James Potter as Head Boy and would like to reassure you that I carefully considered Mr. Potter along with several of the other appropriate candidates and have made my decision with all due brevity. Enclosed is a document that I hope will serve to assuage any lingering doubts you may have. I look forward to seeing you at the beginning of the school year and, once again, I would like to congratulate you on being elected to the position of Head Girl. Sincerely, Albus Dumbledore..."

"What's the big deal, Lily?" Petunia asked sharply. "What's so bad about Potter, anyway? He was perfectly charming when he came for dinner. Not to mention that he is kind of fetching, isn't he?"

Lily sighed in consternation as she pulled the second sheet of parchment up for scrutiny. "We don't get on too well, Petunia, and he's not exactly a model student. He and his mates are always breaking rules and pulling pranks, you remember all I've told you. I can't think why Dumbledore would make him Head Boy..."

She let out a snort of disbelief as she read the second page and handed it over to her mother. Rose scanned the cramped writing, then smiled and read out loud in an amused voice: "I, James Potter, being of sound mind and body and under no mental, physical, or magical duress, do solemnly swear to assist Lily Evans in any way possible in the role of Head Boy during the coming school year with minimal badgering, pranking, or general tom-foolery. Oh, Lily, he's not serious?"

"He's never serious, mum..." she grumbled.

She was given no further time to think about James or his friends, though, as the doorbell rang. Her sister let out an excited squeal, darting to check her reflection in the mirror. Wearily, Lily moved to answer it and found a gruff man standing on the step. Tall and burly, Vernon Dursley was dressed in a smart black suit that practically crackled with starch. His thick brown hair was parted sharply to the side and, if the look in his beady brown eyes was any indication, he was about as excited to see her as she was to see him.

"Vernon," Lily greeted the man calmly, trying not to laugh as her mind conjured up the image of the walrus from Alice in Wonderland. She stepped back to let him inside and the big man merely grunted in reply, his gaze sliding callously over her clothes before turning away, apparently dismissing her altogether. Lily wondered if she should have taken time to change as her sister had advised. Fortunately, Petunia took control of the conversation after her mother had greeted her future son-in-law and swept the young man out of the house within a few minutes.

Lily and Rose stared at each other for a long minute before Lily burst out laughing. "What does she see in him?"

"Don't be unkind, Lily. I'm sure he's... Your sister is very fond of him," Rose protested weakly, unable to hide her smile.

"I don't think he likes me very much," Lily announced quietly as her mother dished up two bowls of soup and took her place at the table. Lily laid out bread and drinks before taking her seat.

Lifting her spoon, Rose laughed quietly. "Well, he's not marrying _you_, so it doesn't really matter."

"Thank Godric for small favors," Lily shrugged, even as she felt a small pang in her stomach. Her mother was blissfully unaware of the fact that she couldn't get a date if she wanted to... unless it was with James Potter. After all, no boy in their school would risk running afoul of the Marauders, even for a date with a lovely, intelligent girl like herself. Showing interest in Lily after James had "laid his claim" would have been the equivalent of writing out and signing their own death warrant, or at least consigning themselves to a life of magical maladies until graduation; whichever came first.

"You look troubled, honey," Rose spoke up over dinner.

Lily sighed and set down her spoon. "I was just thinking about school. And Potter..."

"It won't be so bad, dear, you'll see. He did seem very nice when he came to dinner. And I can tell he likes you very much. If Dumbledore chose him, I'm sure he'll be great," her mother assured her positively.

"Mum, you don't know James," Lily told her wearily. "He's... he's complicated."

"Do you fancy him?"

"No, mum. Just... no," Lily choked, shaking her head furiously. "It's not like that at all. James can be a good guy very, _very_ occasionally, but he's usually a little out of control. And just because he's handsome and talented and rich and clever and funny everyone goes along with anything he says."

"He sounds terrible," Rose volunteered sardonically. "Why do you feel like you need to hate him, Lily?"

Her daughter gave her a suspicious look before leaning over her soup. "Dad was the psychologist, mum. He's the one who asks the probing questions. James only likes me because I haven't swooned over him. I'm just a challenge to him, a prank to figure out so he can prove to everyone how clever he is. I fight Potter and his mates because no one else will. They have fun, but sometimes they go too far. They can hurt people's feelings and some of the things they do are just dangerous."

"Why is that your responsibility, Lily?" Rose asked quietly.

Her daughter shrugged morosely. She had no idea why she felt so strongly about defying the Marauder legacy... other than the fact that no one else would. And James just made her so _angry._ Even the teachers were wrapped around their fingers. It was true that they had been better in the past couple of years, but she couldn't forget how awful they had been when they were younger.

By working together, Rose and Lily had everything ready by the time Vernon and Petunia and their friends returned to the house. Lily had even managed to make herself acceptable in a black knit dress. At first glance, Lily was sure she didn't like Bob or Veronica, both of whom watched her as though she were a mangey cat serving drinks. Not missing a beat, Rose asked Lily to play piano while she got everyone situated. Lily was relieved to be able to turn her back to the group and concentrate on something else. Which was why she didn't notice that the company had gone silent until a magnificent snowy owl perched itself casually on the edge of the piano.

"Oh dear Lord!" Veronica squeaked in horror. "P-Petunia, that thing is going to attack your sister."

"How did it get in?" Bob whispered gruffly.

"It's just sitting there. What the devil is going on?" Vernon growled, clearly disconcerted by something behaving contrary to his expectations.

Lily stared at the familiar owl for a moment before reaching out to gently take the roll of parchment tied to its leg. "Thank you, Ptolemy," she said softly, ignoring the furious whispering that had broken out behind her. "Would you like some water?"

"My sister trains birds! She's always been nutty about birds," Petunia screeched hastily before whirling to glare at Lily. "_Get that __**thing**__ out of here!"_

Rose quickly jumped in with a clever lie about how Lily had always been fascinated by birds while the girl put up her arm and the snowy owl obligingly climbed on. She took it to the kitchen, her face red, and set out a bowl of water and some crackers before breaking the seal and opening the note.

_Lily,_

_Once again and without any irony, congratulations on making Head Girl. Hope you got my note through Dumbledore. I thought it would be best for you to hear it from him as my bruises still haven't healed from your dinner party, which was otherwise lovely, by the way. The Headmaster seemed quite concerned that you wouldn't understand my appointment. I'd like to emphatically reassure you that I had nothing to do with it. In fact, Sirius is heartbroken that I could have let anything like this happen to me and my mum took me for tests at St. Mungo's every day until dad made her stop. In any case, I look forward to working with you. I hope you have a fantastic holiday, Lily. I do miss you._

_Love,_

_James_

"What the _hell_ was that, Lily?" Petunia's livid voice hissed behind her. She turned to find the older girl in a seething tower of rage in the doorway. "I invite my friends over for _one_ night, one sodding _half hour_ for coffee and you turn the parlour into a bloody menagerie?!?"

"It's not like I phoned Potter and said, 'Hey, you know what would be a laugh? To ruin my sister's dinner party with her fiance's friends. Why don't you send your owl straight away?' Get over it, Petunia, it was an _accident_," Lily whispered just as scathingly.

Her sister gingerly lifted the tray their mother had prepared with cakes and plates before spinning toward the door. Just before she went out, she shot Lily a hateful glare and snapped, "These _accidents_ happen too much around you, Lily."

She felt as though her stomach had dropped out as the door swung shut behind the older girl. Clever as she was, Lily couldn't ignore the implication that her sister believed she had somehow been the cause of the accident that had killed their father. She felt something crack in her chest as her eyes filled with tears. Crumpling the note and ignoring the owl, she dashed upstairs. Unmindful of the company below, she slammed her door and threw herself onto her bed just as the first tears leaked out onto the pillow. She did her best to stifle the harsh sobs issuing from her throat as her grief and anger overtook her sense of propriety.

Nearly an hour later, Rose knocked on the door and let herself in to the dark room. Lily was sprawled on her bed, touching and staring listlessly at a family photo that had been taken the summer before her father died. She had developed it in special potions so the four happy people moved around the picture just as they had that day at the beach.

Without a word, Rose sat beside her daughter and rubbed her back for a few minutes. "Petunia feels terrible, honey."

"If she felt so terrible, she would be here and not you," Lily replied bitterly.

Rose fell silent for a moment, thinking. "It's not your fault, Lily. I don't blame you."

Lily shook her head morosely. "But it really _is_ my fault anyway, isn't it mum? What's the point of being a witch if I can't protect the people I love? If I'd known more, I could've done something. I could've saved him. We could've taken him to the wizard's hospital and he'd have been fixed up in a minute."

"But we didn't," Rose said firmly, her own eyes sparkling with tears as she gave her daughter a hard look. "We didn't do any of that and your dad died. We can't change that, Lily. _Nothing_ can change that."

Lily began crying in earnest once more and her mother rubbed her back soothingly. After she quieted, Rose told her to go wash her face with cool water. When she got back to her room, there was a cup of cocoa waiting for her beside a piece of cake and her favorite book of poetry. Lily couldn't help smiling: her mother knew her so well.

Stiffly, she pulled off her dress and opened her pajama drawer. She was pulling out a clean nightgown when something dropped to the floor. Looking down, she caught sight of the horrible tie James had worn to their dinner party and couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her as she bent to retrieve it. The few times she had seen James in muggle clothing, he had never made the sort of faux pas he had accomplished in coming to her house and she couldn't help the amusement that flooded her as she remembered the way he had looked standing in the foyer. In his hurry to leave, he had forgotten everything but his wand, which had somehow disappeared from her desk by the time she had stormed upstairs. The sweater was lurking somewhere in the recesses of her trunk, but she wrapped the tie around her hand as she got into bed. Raising it to her face, she realized it smelled of him still.

Chancing a suspicious glance around the empty room, she closed her eyes and inhaled. Lily was a strong believer in acknowledging a person's positive attributes, despite any negative characteristics they might also have. It was why she didn't deny that James was incredibly clever and handsome. They were facts that she couldn't just overlook. At this moment she realized that, no matter how he might act or how much she might despise him, she could not deny the fact that James Potter smelled nice. There was something clean and fresh and masculine about the scent that made her think of a rainy day outside Hogwarts. She ran the soft fabric between her hands as she inhaled deeply. Lily liked rainy days, she always found them soothing.

Suddenly realizing she had just been practically snogging a tie, Lily blushed for no reason and stuffed the garment into her pillow case. Her hands felt pleasantly tingly. She glanced around the room again, half expecting to see James or one of his friends lurking outside her window on a broomstick, ready to zoom away to report her indulgence. But there was no one. She was alone.

Closing her eyes, she leaned back into her pillow, unconsciously making contact with the tie through the fabric as she imagined James as he always looked: handsome and strong, if slightly unkempt. Always grinning at her with something clever to say. He really wasn't a terrible person. Not bad at all really. She didn't know why she acted like she hated him all the time. In fact, he could be quite pleasant and charming when he put his mind to it. And he _was_ intelligent.

Lily's eyes snapped open and she pushed herself off the bed, taking a few steps away and glaring suspiciously at the innocent pillow. Why was she thinking about him so much? Cautiously, she retrieved a handkerchief and a pair of gloves from her desk. She slipped on the gloves before spraying a small amount of perfume on the handkerchief. Holding the cloth over her mouth and nose, she edged back to the bed and ferreted out the tie from her pillow. Lifting it to eye-level, she stared at it and thought hard about James Potter. He was a prat. Gingerly removing the cloth, she stared again. Maybe he wasn't so bad. She repeated the experiment and got the same results. Reluctantly, she draped the tie over her arm. He really _was_ very handsome...

"That _wanker_," she whispered to the empty room, caught somewhere between amusement and fury as she ripped the cloth away from her skin. She carried it delicately through the house as if it were a sleeping ashwinder, setting it carefully on the counter before rummaging in a drawer for a plastic bag. She did not remove the handkerchief after the tie was safely sealed in plastic, but trudged resolutely up the stairs to deal with the garish sweater in the same manner. After all was securely sealed away, Lily got dressed and put on her shoes. She didn't know where James lived, so she couldn't just apparate there, but she knew a few people who could help her return James's things.

Within the hour, she had arrived outside the gate of an enormous, creepy looking mansion that reminded her strongly of the Addams Family. Alice Benton, her best friend, glanced at her nervously before catching her hand and leading her into the crowded garden. Alice was a short, curvy blonde with a round, pleasant face and short blonde braids. She had been dating Frank Longbottom for the past few months and had told Lily before that the Longbottoms and Potters had always been friends. If anyone could figure out how she could get into the Potter Manor, Frank would know how. "Frank's Uncle Algie stays up to all hours, so he'll probably hear us knock. His mother goes to bed at precisely nine o'clock, though, so we'll have to be really quiet. Are you sure we should be doing this, Lily?"

"Potter needs to learn he can't use magic to get whatever he wants, Alice," Lily reminded her stubbornly. The anxious blonde swallowed convulsively, but mounted the rickety front steps, keeping clear of the sagging right edge. She tapped lightly on the door and, several seconds later, the door was opened by Frank. His handsome, friendly face split into a surprised grin at seeing the visitors, which quickly faded when he learned what they were after.

He let them inside, though it was obvious he was uncomfortable with the idea of helping Lily undertake this blatant transgression, and showed them to a cavernous library. "Look, what they did was obviously really wrong, but I don't want to be pulled into a war with the Marauders, Lily. Sirius and James are sure to be there, but it could be all four of them since it's the holidays. That could mean trouble," he warned.

"They're not going to hurt me, Frank," Lily reminded him ironically. "I'm just going to go return his things and apparate home. I'm not starting a fight. If anything, they did."

"Just let it go, Lily," Alice pleaded. "Throw the stuff away and don't give them the satisfaction."

"Alice, he came to my _house_. He brought this into my home hoping to bewitch me. That's not even legal, let alone morally acceptable. He needs to know that he can't sneak this sort of thing past me, especially if we're going to be Heads together this year," Lily tried to explain calmly.

"Do what you think is best, Lily. I'll send my owl to make sure you get back safely," Alice finally relented, giving her friend a tight hug. Lily couldn't help shaking her head at the pair of them. With the way they were acting, anyone would think she was marching into You-Know-Who's headquarters with a doomsday weapon, not going to the house of a classmate to return a bit of clothing.

Frank helped her into the fire with the Floo Powder, trying to give her some last-minute advice. "Just ask for the Potter Manor. You'll probably turn up in the main parlour, but their butler Barton will be able to direct you from there. They do have several protection spells up, so if you don't meet Barton and happen to find yourself strung up by your ankles, the panic word is asphodel... at least it was when we went for Christmas... There might be more around James and Sirius's rooms. Lily, this is a bad idea."

"I'll be _fine_. Any way I could circumvent this whole thing and just turn up in Potter's bedroom?" Lily asked with a nasty smile that made the couple glance at each other and shift uncomfortably. "Guys, I'm kidding. Gryffindor knows what sort of horrible things would be lurking in there..."

As their friend whirled in the fireplace and disappeared, Alice turned to hug Frank. "She fancies him."

"I just wonder when she'll figure it out... and if James will break her heart when she does," Frank replied with a worried frown as he settled his chin on the top of her head.

Lily landed in a dark room with a rush of air, coughing lightly from the soot clinging to her clothes, hair, and skin. She waved her wand to clear it away and straightened to look around her. It was difficult to make out much in the gloomy chamber, so she lit her wand tip and glanced down at the rough map Frank had sketched out. By the thin, silvery light of her wand, she made her way into the hallway and suddenly found she wouldn't need the map: she could hear four familiar boisterous voices emanating down the long, dark corridor to her left. Following the noise, she stopped outside a closed door with a slit of light shining under it and took a deep breath, feeling unexpectedly queasy about what she would find on the other side and thinking wistfully of leaving without saying a thing.

Pushing away these cowardly thoughts, Lily squared her shoulders and tugged open the door, striding confidently into what turned out to be a roomy kitchen where the four boys had been playing a game and sharing a midnight snack. The room seemed to pause when she appeared and the four friends stared at her in stunned shock. Their astonishment sent a surge of warm pride through her chest as she realized she _really_ had the upper-hand on them for the first time.

She tossed the bag containing the contaminated clothing on the table amid the piles of food and smiled sweetly. "Nice try, Potter. You really had me convinced you weren't a complete bastard. See you at school."

The plan had been to turn and disapparate before they could respond. Unfortunately, what Frank had forgotten to mention was that you couldn't disapparate from the Potter's. She stood still for a moment before realizing that it wasn't working and, seeing no help for it, began walking back down the hall, a hint of panic fluttering in her stomach. It only took that moment's pause, however, for three of the four boys to recover and go pelting after her.

"How the hell did you turn up here, Evans?" Remus Lupin asked curiously as he caught up to her.

James appeared on her other side and grinned, echoing her earlier sentiment: "Lily, how did you find out where I live?"

"Did you have a plan for getting home, Evans? Besides walking, that is?" Sirius taunted as he pushed his way to the front to stand before her, effectively halting her progress.

Peter, who had just caught up, panted, "Come back to the kitchen, Lily. I'll make you some tea."

Lily was caught between anger, horror, and amusement as she did her best not to look at any of the young men surrounding her. This certainly hadn't gone as planned.

When it seemed as though Lily wasn't going to make another move, Remus took the situation in hand by gently catching her arm and steering her back toward the kitchen. He cast a look over his shoulder and shook his head seriously, signaling his friends to remain behind if they didn't want to turn the situation into an all-out war. As the three boys fell back, he leaned down and murmured, "You didn't have a clear exit strategy, did you?"

"I thought disapparating would be easy enough," she whispered softly.

"Well, it would have been if James's house was like other people's." To her relief, Remus abstained from laughing, though she clearly saw the amusement in his light blue eyes when she glanced up at him. He opened the door to the kitchen and saw her to a seat before fixing a cup of tea. Setting it in front of her, Remus sat and smiled kindly before flicking the bag. "So, what's in here?"

"A shirt and tie that James left at my house after our dinner party. I'm pretty sure they've been laced with a love potion," she told him evenly. "He told me you were the one who had him wear them."

Remus's eyes flickered with recognition and he nodded. "I did, but a love potion was never part of the plan as far as I was aware. I just thought it was kind of funny that James believed me about wearing them. Did you notice anything when you were taking them off of him?"

"Just the usual anger and revulsion when he tried to kiss me and pull my clothes off," she replied airily.

"He's really not a terrible guy, Lily. I'd be willing to bet someone planted the potion when the clothes were in your room."

Lily raised an eyebrow at him as she took a sip of tea. "And why the elaborate subterfuge?"

The handsome young man shrugged, casting an eye to the door that was practically straining on its hinges under the pressure of his three mates trying to listen in. "Someone probably wanted to give him a hand. I don't need to tell you that we have our ways of getting what we need and where we want to go without detection. Trust me, though, if the potion had been on his clothes when he tried to kiss you, you'd have been all over him."

Lily cringed as the image of her jumping James, ripping off his clothes, and snogging him into the wall flashed across her mind with startling clarity. Feeling slightly nauseated, she set her cup down. "All right, Remus. Would you like to explain how I can get out of here with a minimal amount of humiliation and pain, now?"

Without warning, the door burst open and the three other Marauders fell into the room. James was at the top of the pile and quickly stepped over his friends to get to the table. In his rush to speak with her, he managed to say exactly the wrong thing: "You are _not_ leaving this house without a better explanation than that, Lily Anne Evans."

Feeling untenably irritated by his use of her middle name, she surged to her feet and shouted, "Stop knowing things about me!"

Reluctantly, Peter broke in, glancing nervously toward the door as he cautioned, "Hey, guys, maybe we should be a little-"

"Shut up!" They both yelled before turning to glare at each other once more.

"You're just tetchy because you can't get away with anything as cleanly as we do," Sirius teased with a wide grin as he took a seat at the table and propped up his feet.

Before anyone knew what happened, Lily swung her wand in his direction and cried, "_Silencio!_"

"Now, Lily-" Remus began, cutting off abruptly and holding up his hands when she trained her wand on his nose. Being roundly ignored, Sirius stood up, miming what had to be a fantastically eloquent aspersion.

"You four need to stop following me and _stop_ ganging up on me!" she cried passionately.

"_You_ need to stop being so paranoid!" James shot back hotly.

"It's not being paranoid if you guys are actually following me around, spying on my personal life, and trying to bewitch me into doing things I don't want to do, Potter!" Lily spat furiously, accompanied by a sharp crack as her tea cup split in half.

Flinching slightly as bright sparks jetted from the wand several inches from his face, Remus tilted his head toward James and said, "Uh, Prongs... maybe you should just not talk right now..."

They stood in tense silence for several moments before Lily finally lowered her head and her wand. James was surprised when she looked at him with tears in her eyes. "Just leave me alone James. Please? I don't want to give up being Head Girl, but if you can't control yourself and respect me, we're not going to be able to work together. I don't want a repeat of last year with me dodging and hexing you all the time."

James felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach. Without looking at his mates, he nodded and said, "Come with me."

Lily trailed him from the room, relieved when his friends stayed behind. James walked through the dark halls until he reached a grand front entranceway, where he pulled open one of the enormous double doors and allowed her to pass outside before following after her. As the cool evening enveloped them, he chanced a glance in her direction. To his immense relief, she was no longer close to tears, but she wouldn't look at him.

"I'm really sorry about... everything, Lily. I don't want you to give up Head Girl. I promise not to be a prat this year," he told her sincerely. She thanked him so quietly that he almost didn't hear and they walked in silence for several more minutes.

"Where are we going?" Lily suddenly asked, looking across the moonlit gardens. She caught sight of the palatial manor house behind them and had to fight the urge to gape.

James didn't miss her reaction to his family home and chose not to comment as he reached up to uncomfortably rumple his hair. "If you want to apparate home, you'll have to be off our property. I'm taking you to the main gate. It would've been faster to go the back way, but it's not quite as safe at night..."

Lily fought the urge to ask why it wouldn't be safe for him to walk around his own garden at night and simply nodded. She had heard the Potters were wealthy, but she had never imagined that they would be _this_ wealthy.

At length, they came up to an elaborate gate leading out onto a lonely country road. "You'll want to hold on to me," he told her suddenly. "It's the fastest way to get out without any problems. Just take my arm until we get through the gates. We have a ghoul that guards the main entrance and he only recognizes people who came in with personal invitations or Potter blood."

Nervously, Lily tucked her arms around the one he offered and walked slightly behind him as he casually hailed a shriveled, greasy-looking man lounging inside a guard shack. The man's watery red eyes followed them for several steps before he went back to gnawing on what looked like a human hand. In a minute, they were through the gate and Lily released his arm and stepped away, breathing a sigh of relief. James turned and smiled at her before stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Well, thanks for coming. Maybe next time you can meet my parents. We could have cake," he offered awkwardly.

Lily raised an eyebrow at him before kicking her shoes in the dirt. "What makes you think there'll be a next time?"

"I was just hoping. And I'd like to formally invite you to my house any time you like so you don't have to worry about the ghoul..." he trailed off uncomfortably as she watched him with laughing eyes.

"You know, James, you're not half bad when you're feeling awkward," Lily mused quietly. Before she could change her mind, she took a step forward and went up on tiptoe to kiss him. Later, she would blame it on the residual affects of the the love potion, but as she smiled up at him, something in her chest fluttered painfully, urging her to kiss him again. James seemed to have had the same idea and she disapparated before he could put his arms around her.


	3. To Hogwarts

The morning of September first, Lily woke up early and took a shower, carefully checking over her appearance for her first day of school. To her great surprise, she'd had no more contact with James since July and had enjoyed a relatively peaceful holiday ever since. Even Petunia had been too busy with wedding plans to snipe at her too much.

Finally satisfied, Lily made her way downstairs for breakfast. Her mother was already sitting at the table, dressed for work and drinking tea. Rose was a music teacher at the local primary school, which wasn't too taxing, but her daughters were still nervous about letting her go. There had been a short discussion about it, the end of which hosted a marvelous display of three equally frightening tempers, and the women hadn't spoken for two days afterward.

Lily stopped on the threshold of the kitchen, taking in her mother's pale face and trembling hands. Rose caught her watching and grinned brightly, setting down the tea cup as Lily moved to make her own breakfast. Kissing her cheek, she returned the smile and said, "Morning, mum. Are you feeling all right today?"

"Right as rain, sweetie," she lied brazenly. "I'm so excited to see all my kids back from holiday."

Reluctantly, Lily let the obvious fib pass and sat across from her with a bowl of cereal. Rose continued to smile and asked humorously, "So, are you ready for battle, darling?"

"I'm sure it'll be fine, mum. James and I have reached an understanding," she explained carefully, avoiding her mother's gaze. She was not at all certain that the Head Boy would stick to the truce he had sworn to, but she had little choice other than waiting to watch the future unfold.

"Remember, Lily, that so long as you randomly kiss him and show up where you're not invited every so often, you'll be able to keep him off balance enough to stand working closely with him for the whole term," Rose joked with a weak laugh that quickly turned into a cough.

Lily did her best to smile, even though the rattling cough alarmed her. She knew her mother would get angry if she sensed her concern, so she covered it by saying, "I'll do that, mum."

"Are you sure you don't mind going to the station by yourself, dear?" Rose asked breathily.

"It's fine, mum," Lily murmured distractedly, wishing she knew what was wrong with her mother. The suggestion that they visit St. Mungo's Hospital had been met with outright hostility on the part of her mother and sister, but Lily worried that the muggle doctors might not figure out the problem until it was too late. Pushing away the morbid thoughts and telling herself she was being overdramatic, Lily offered: "I have to be there early anyway and I don't think Tuny's up to taking me."

Rose merely shook her head, well aware of the fact that her oldest child had not returned home until well past midnight. "Are you sure you have everything, dear? Do you need any money? Is everything packed in your trunk?"

"Yes, mum," Lily sighed. "I have everything right here." She pulled a miniature trunk out of her pocket and set it on the table. "All of my stuff is inside, I just shrank it and put a charm on it so it would be light enough for me to carry in my pocket."

Rose reached over to tenderly pat her daughter's cheek. "My clever girl."

Glancing at her watch, Rose quickly kissed her before rushing out the door, leaving Lily to finish her meal in silence. After cleaning the dishes, she tiptoed out of the kitchen, making no noise so as not to wake her sister. Petunia wouldn't want to see her before she left anyway. She checked her room one last time before disapparating with a soft popping noise. An instant later, she arrived at King's Cross Station on Platform 9 ¾ and soon caught sight of Alice, who was gazing around anxiously. To her surprise the usually buoyant blonde didn't have a ready smile when she greeted her.

"Hello, Alice. How was your holiday?" she asked kindly. The two had been in contact by owl several times, but the look on the shorter girl's face made her wonder if there was something she hadn't told her.

The Hufflepuff's anxious face melted into an absent smile and she said, "Hi Lily. It was all right, I guess. I was just looking for Frank..."

Lily instantly understood the cause of the girl's anxiety. She was obviously very keen for the young man to arrive. Personally, Lily had never experienced the whole giddy, love-at-first-sight, skipping-around-the-room sort of relationship and she wasn't quite sure it was real. Then again, she'd only had a few dates before Potter had marked her as his territory. The closest she had ever gotten to that kind of thing had been watching sappy old movies and the week in her third year when she'd gotten a crush on a fifth year Ravenclaw. It had ended quickly when James had transfigured her hair into a writhing mass of snakes in the middle of dinner and the boy had laughed at her panic along with everyone else. Even though her heart had been crushed, she felt she had come out wiser for the experience.

Lily was about to ask Alice a question when Sirius Black dropped his arm around her shoulders. He seemed none the worse for the spell she had put on him and grinned at her cheekily. Sirius was tall and handsome, with gray eyes, dark hair and a charming grin that could melt any girl within a fifty-meter radius. He was already wearing his Hogwarts uniform, but his shirt was carelessly untucked and his sleeves rolled up above the elbow. His tie was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey there, Evans, did you miss me?" he asked with a winning grin.

Rolling her eyes, she cried, "Oh yes, Black. I could barely eat or sleep all summer. All I did was sit in my room and pine, counting the minutes until I got to see you again."

"Really?" He seemed genuinely surprised. "You could have just come to visit, now that you know where we live..."

She pushed him away and glared. "It's called _sarcasm_, Sirius. Why would I waste a single second thinking about you during my excruciatingly short period of Marauder-free life? Especially since that little field trip to the Potter's grossly overtaxed my holiday quota of putting up with you guys."

"Some day, Lily Evans, you will understand how much you really enjoy my company," Sirius promised sagely.

"I doubt it," Lily replied sarcastically.

"Hey Sirius," Alice jumped in quickly, wanting to avoid what was sure to be a row if the two continued picking at each other.

He winked and gave her a charming grin, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Hello, Alice. How was your summer?"

Alice dimpled and blushed. She was devoted to Frank, but still... this was_ Sirius Black. _Impatiently,Lily grabbed her arm and pulled her in the direction of the train. "She's fine, Black. Try not to obstruct traffic."

"Congratulations on Head Girl, Evans," he called after her mockingly. "May your reign of terror never end!"

She ignored him and dragged Alice onto the train, hopelessly trying to get the young blonde to stop laughing at the exchange. "You seriously need to get over The Marauders, Lily. They only tease you so much because you get so upset."

"I _am_ over them," Lily announced stubbornly. "I was never... _with_ them. And they tease me because I'm the only person in the whole of Great Britain who isn't taken in by their charms _and_ has the bollocks to stand up to them."

"Right, and you haven't seen how they get off on your little opposition?" Alice chuckled. "Honestly, Lily, it's better than sex for them when they can rile you up. Sirius was practically glowing since they got to interrupt your holiday."

"Please never put the concepts of sex, me, and those prats into a single sentence again, Alice. As a personal favor," Lily begged quietly with a painful grimace.

Alice gave her a knowing smile before glancing over her shoulder and giggling in delight, squeezing Lily's hand as she bounced up and down excitedly. Lily gave her a look before following her gaze. Frank Longbottom was heaving his trunk onto the train. He disappeared for a second before lifting another considerably more battered trunk for a boy with flaming red hair.

"Isn't Bill a cousin of yours, Lily? I can never remember, are you related to the Weasleys?" Remus Lupin mused from behind her.

Lily spun around with an exasperated sigh, though she really found Lupin the most tolerable of the Marauders. Handsome, quiet, and intelligent, Lily had worked with him when they had served as Gryffindor's Prefects during fifth year and she had been amazed that he was capable of rational thought after all the time he spent with Potter and the rest. With his pale skin, lanky frame, bright blue eyes, and light brown shaggy hair, he was the object of many female student's affections, but he had never shown any interest in anyone outside his small circle of friends.

In spite of the fact that Lily generally got along well with Remus, she felt unaccountably irritated by the apparent ambush so closely following Sirius's. "Merlin's beard! You guys are like fleas! Just piss off and leave me alone, why don't you?"

"Be nice, Lily," Alice admonished softly. "It won't hurt you. Hello Remus."

He smiled at her and she set off to greet Frank. Lily was barely able to contain a sigh of long-suffering when Lupin stuck out his hand, ignoring her irate outburst. "Congratulations on being made Head Girl, Lily. You really deserve it."

She eyed him suspiciously, waiting for the gag. Though Remus was often much more considerate than his friends, she had no illusions about his loyalties. Marauders were unpredictable at best and it was prudent to treat them cautiously at all times. With more than a few misgivings, she shook his hand and said, "Thanks, Remus. I appreciate that."

"You know, with James as Head Boy, I have a sneaking suspicion we'll be seeing a lot more of each other this year," Lupin remarked in an off-hand sort of way. She couldn't help but note how he watched her discretely, waiting for a reaction.

She shrugged noncommittally. "I don't think we'll see each other any more than usual. You guys tend to show up everywhere I am anyway. Sometimes it's like you have a tracking spell on me." Lily tried to seem casual as she turned to walk toward the front of the train and Lupin matched her step.

The reserved young man chuckled as if she had just told a private joke. "No spell, we're just lucky since James is in love with you. He's got radar. I swear he could find you if you were unplottable."

She raised an impatient eyebrow at him and stopped as they reached the carriage reserved specifically for the Head Boy and Girl and the year's Prefects. "Like turning up at my house uninvited at the beginning of the summer ready for a dinner party he wasn't supposed to know about? Yeah, I've noticed. Is there any way you can help me get James to tone it down this year?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Remus replied evenly. She stared at him sharply and had to admit: he seemed earnest. Then again, lying was one among many of the Marauder's finely honed skills.

Lily shrugged. "Whatever, Remus. I know it won't make any difference to ask, but please, _please_ call the guys off this year. I have to work with James every day and I'll probably murder him if you lads keep trying to prove you're cleverer than me by putting a notch in his bedpost."

"That's not our aim, Lily, whether you believe it or not. And I certainly wouldn't want to put my best mate in danger," Remus added softly. Then he grinned and Lily's hopes fell. "But I'm pretty sure he'll do whatever he wants. Besides, he really _does_ like you."

"Right," she laughed. "I gotta go, Remus. See you at the feast?"

He nodded and turned to amble back toward where his friends were no doubt waiting in one of the other compartments. Shaking her head, she entered the Head's car. The male Ravenclaw and Gryffindor Prefects sat in conversation in the corner, but smiled and waved as she walked in. She gave the two boys a warm smile and proceeded to the side of the carriage in order to store her trunk.

After returning it to normal size and weight, she lifted the heavy case to the luggage racks, but had only gotten it above her head when she started to feel wobbly. Almost over-balancing, she nearly fell backwards. Taking a step to steady herself, she inadvertently backed into something solid that made a slight "oomf" when she hit it. Large hands reached up around her to secure the trunk and she spun to find herself nearly nose to nose with James Potter.

"Potter," she choked in greeting as she took a hasty step backwards and bumped into the wall, nearly losing her balance again.

"Nice to see you, Lily," he countered easily with a charming smile that lit up his hazel eyes. His shock of black hair, always untidy, looked decidedly wind-blown and his rectangular glasses were slipping down his thin nose. Unfortunately, the summer had done nothing to change his appearance and he was as handsome and muscular as he had been the last time she'd seen him. Just looking at him now made her feel like she had activated a portkey.

Uncomfortably Lily dropped her eyes and asked, "How was your summer?"

James's grin widened and he leaned toward her intimately. "It was fantastic. I never dreamed I'd see you twice and get to kiss you both times."

"I'd rather we didn't discuss that at school, James," Lily said stiffly, wishing he wouldn't stand so close. "And besides, the first time you tricked me and the second I'd had an unhealthy exposure to a love potion."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart," he replied smugly.

She gave him a dangerous look. "I hope I don't need to remind you before we're even underway that you swore to be helpful and mature this term."

James's face instantly sobered and he took a step away from her. "You are absolutely right, Evans. Sorry about that. As Head Boy, it's my duty to be an example to the younger students. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some important things to attend to."

He had the satisfaction of seeing her blink in surprise at the sudden pronouncement before he turned to sit in a squashy leather chair, rifling through the sheaf of papers he had produced from inside his robes. Lily's eyes narrowed, but she turned and took her own chair, completely oblivious to the fact that James' "important" papers were nothing more than detailed plans drawn up by himself and his friends for the coming year's pranks. After all, he was only Head Boy and captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, not dead. In his opinion, his new positions of leadership didn't mean he was too busy to get up to some solid mischief this year.

Many people would be surprised to learn of the intricate planning and organization put into a Marauder plot, but the general consensus between himself and his three friends was the necessity to strive for professionalism in their art. It had been established after their first plot during second year when they had very nearly murdered the current object of his affection by making her fly a broomstick to the roof of the Astronomy Tower in order to retrieve her teddy bear. She had dropped like a stone and they had learned something very important: keep it simple and never overestimate your prey.

Since then, their plans had become masterful, uncomplicated, and they'd only had one close call since when Sirius had told Snape about the Whomping Willow. Thankfully, that disaster had also been avoided without grave mishap. This year, however, unable to resist addressing the problem of James's unrequited love without some plan of attack, Sirius had proposed they put their main efforts into helping him. Their first plan had just been put into action with his civil brush off of Lily Evans, and, if her repeated covert glances in his direction were any indication, it would appear that phase one was going swimmingly.

As the train finally began chugging on its way, Lily and James both stood and began the introductory presentation to the eight new Prefects. They debriefed the students on protocol, authority and duties, and then passed out the schedules for nightly rounds for the first month. After this, they collected the proposed passwords for each of the house's common rooms and asked for questions. The meeting didn't take very long and once it was over the students began milling around the room and leaving in order to meet up with friends farther on down the train.

Rolling up the scroll onto which she had transcribed each of the house passwords, Lily brought it to the school owl that had been waiting patiently on a stand near the back window. She turned after it had flown off and was surprised to see that all of the students but herself and James had cleared out of the compartment. James was standing patiently watching her with his hands clasped behind his back as if he had all the time in the world as Lily returned to the desk to put away the writing utensils.

"Did you need something, Potter?" she asked nervously. For some silly reason, she was suddenly uncomfortable being alone with him and felt her cheeks instantly suffuse with color as he regarded her seriously. Why did he have to watch her all the time?

"I just thought you might have something to talk to me about," he told her with a disconcerting grin.

Lily raised her eyebrows at him and did her best to appear indifferent, clasping her hands in her lap and cocking her head to the side. "Well, they don't teach Divination at Hogwarts anymore, so what would I need to talk to you about?"

Sensing her thinly veiled discomfiture, his eyes lit with amusement and he explained, "I just supposed you'd want to lay down the law for this year. You know: tell me where the line is so I can toe it."

"Why would I need to do that? I already have your solemn vow that you won't get up to your usual tricks this term," Lily replied innocently. "Did you want to give me a lock of your hair just in case you decide to renege?"

James tilted his head to the side and studied her quizzically. "So... you're fine with everything between us this year?"

"There is nothing between us, Potter. What happened over the holiday was just... an accident," Lily sighed crossly, pushing herself out of the chair. "Here at school, we just happen to be Head Boy and Girl. Other than that and anything pertaining to our duties together, we have precious little to talk about."

Lily watched him suspiciously as he regarded her with a look of genuine surprise. Taking a hasty step toward the door, he stumbled over his own trainer and caught himself on a chair, narrowly avoiding crashing to the ground. Lily raised an eyebrow at the uncharacteristically clumsy move and James quickly righted himself and reached up to rumple his hair nervously. Why did she have to look at him like that? It made him feel like a bumbling troll.

"Good, then. I guess," he stuttered uncomfortably. "I just didn't think you'd be so cool about us sharing a dormitory."

Turning away and flicking her hair over her shoulder, she gave him another icy look and said, "Well done, Potter. Did you just figure out we've been sharing Gryffindor dormitory after only six years?"

James's face went red and he stuttered, "Y-You mean you don't know?"

"Know _what_, James?" she asked irritatedly, turning back to him and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Head Boy and Girl share a dormitory. By themselves. My dad was Head Boy at Hogwarts and he says it's pretty posh," he explained quickly. "But it would just be us. You know, two rooms, one bathroom and one common room. It's closer quarters than you're used to and I thought you might have some friendly threats for me."

Finally catching his meaning, Lily's face paled before flaring crimson. She felt as though someone had removed her stomach and replaced it with a barrel of bad-tempered fire salamanders. She'd have to share a living space with James for a whole year? She didn't know if she could survive. Looking up, she realized he was still watching her with keen interest and quickly frowned at him.

Unsure of whether or not he should be telling her, he added, "And there's kind of a superstition about the whole thing. They call it the Head's Curse because a lot of Head Boys and Girls ended up together after living so close for their last year. It's probably not true, though, since my mum was never Head Girl..."

"I'm sure that won't be a problem," Lily cried a little too loudly, fighting the tears she felt welling in her eyes at the sudden, unpleasant news. Why hadn't Dumbledore mentioned this in his letter?

Seeing her distress, James took a step toward her, but stopped when she shied back. "I'm sorry about that, Lily. It's just... tradition, and it makes it easier for the Heads to coordinate everything and work closely without the distractions and restrictions of a normal dorm room. You know I'd never do anything to make you really uncomfortable, right?"

Lily did her best to gather her racing emotions and bury them down deep, turning back to James with a smooth, apathetic look. "Well, no matter what the circumstances are, there isn't any reason for us not to... to be respectful of each other. I suppose I don't mind your friends visiting occasionally, but I would like it to be clear that you are to show consideration for me as your roommate and not invade my space or be noisy late at night or steal my things or… any of the… other things you might be inclined to do."

James nodded seriously, a little concerned at how quickly she had gained control again. Meeting her eyes, he told her with mock-brevity, "You don't need to worry, Lily, I understand. And I hope _you_ will be respectful of my privacy as well."

At this, Lily lost some of her composure and nearly turned purple with incredulity, her bright green eyes flashing angrily. Taking a menacing step towards him, she balled her fists at her sides and hissed, "I don't think you'll need to worry about _that_."

To her fury, he began to chuckle softly and moved forward to close the space between them, apparently unconcerned by her threatening fists of fury. "It was a _joke_, Lily. You honestly need to lighten up. I won't bother you and I _know_ you won't bother me. I'm just hurt you could question my gentlemanly qualities."

"I'm quite convinced you don't have a single gentlemanly bone in your entire body, Potter," she announced candidly. "You may be handsome and clever and talented, but you're completely incapable of behaving like a mature human being and I don't trust you one bit."

He seemed inordinately pleased by her summation of his attributes despite the fact that it had been intended as a slur. Giving her a coaxing smile, he said, "Come now, Lily. Why can't we bury the hatchet? Let's just forget the past and make a fresh start. It'd be the _mature _thing to do."

"I'm sorry. We can't do that because I know for a fact you still have at least three pairs of my knickers from last year _and _you tried to seduce me with a love potion over the summer," she replied sharply.

He had the decency to look a little sheepish, but quickly grinned. "And you're going to let a little thing like _that_ spoil what could be a beautiful friendship? You _need_ to relax. Look, I promise the lads and I won't get up to any tricks in our dorm, at least. I'll give you all the privacy you need and I expect you to treat me like an equal. We're in this together, you know."

"Thank you, Potter," she gritted out through clenched teeth and spun on her heel. Before she could stalk off, James grabbed her arm gently and pulled her around to face him once more. Alarmed that he might try to kiss her as he had at her house, she threw her hand against his chest in a bid to keep as much space between them as possible.

Leaning in close, he reiterated earnestly, "You can trust me, Lily. I won't invade your privacy."

"Right. I'll believe that when You-Know-Who starts teaching Muggle Studies," she replied sarcastically. James held her gaze, trying to convey his sincerity and Lily squirmed, uncomfortably aware of his close proximity to her face. A moment later, he released her and quickly exited the compartment, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

'What _is_ he playing at?' she thought angrily as she crossed the floor and sank back into the leather chair. She was so distracted that she didn't see James' triumphant face peering through the glass of the compartment door. For the past two years, Potter had hounded her constantly asking for dates, attempting to blackmail her for kisses and hugs, and deliberately misconstruing anything she said so that it appeared to be in his favor. He was the reason no guy at Hogwarts would even speak to her outside of classes. This "new" James was almost like a real person. She felt nearly ill with anxiety as she recalled how thoughtful, reserved, and respectful he had been (for the most part) during the meeting. One thing was certain: it wouldn't last.

Turning abruptly, she headed for the door, hoping to get a chance to talk out these confusing new developments with Alice. She moved into the passage and pulled up short. Her way was barred by Severus Snape. The tall, sallow-faced boy stared at her inscrutably for the space of several seconds before he turned away and walked smoothly into a compartment brimming with his fellow Slytherins, all of whom gave her nasty looks but refrained from saying anything, keenly aware of the shiny badge on her chest. Lily rushed past them, feeling unaccountably uncomfortable. While she found Frank and Alice with several other familiar classmates, James was entering the Marauder's private carriage.

"It's working!" he crowed eagerly as he entered the compartment occupied by his friends and a surprisingly large pile of sweets.

"Are you kidding? She really fell for it?" Peter asked excitedly around a mouthful of fudge flies. Peter was a bit pudgier than the other boys, but he had a great sense of humor and was always willing to go in on any prank his best mates could dream up. His shock of blonde hair lay flat across his head over startling blue eyes and a pointed nose, but his face conveyed his easy-going personality. He wasn't nearly as smart or talented as his three friends, but they had been close since first year and wouldn't think of abandoning the clumsy young man.

Sirius jumped up and whacked James on the back before grabbing him around the neck in a rough side-hug. "I knew it would work, Prongs!" he practically shouted, pushing his long black hair out of his eyes.

Remus smiled up at them from the scroll he had been carefully writing and reached over to toss James a pack of Bertie Bots before returning to his work on their Lily Scheme. James flopped down onto an empty seat and tore open his candy. "I did exactly as we planned and the looks she gave me were priceless! She didn't even know we'd be sharing a dorm and looked at me like I had just told her she would be Gryffindor's beater when she found out."

The four boys shared a good laugh before Remus called them to order. They had a lot to do if they were going to get Lily Evans to fall for James Potter in just under a year. Even with her relationship quarantine, they were well aware that they had six years of misbehaving to overcome in order to get her to consider James as a reasonable candidate.

The night was unaccountably clear as the train finally pulled into the station at Hogsmede and Lily left Frank and Alice in order to help sort out the ensuing chaos that the platform inevitably stirred up. She had just sent the last antsy first year toward Hagrid, giving the giant man a cheerful wave as she did so, before turning toward the carriages. To her surprise, James and his friends had waited for her under the pretext of assisting the older students with their luggage.

"All right, Lily?" Peter called jovially as she slowly made her way toward them.

She was about to respond when the animals standing at the front of the last two carriages caught her eye. In her previous years at the school, the coaches had always moved under their own power, but tonight, for some reason, there was a skeletal, ghastly horse-like _thing_ harnessed to the front. "Good Lord! What are _they_?" she asked, backing up nervously.

The four boys gave her identical looks of confusion, glancing between her and the carriages several times. Finally, Sirius moved over and put a comforting arm around her shoulders, drawing her gently forward. Speaking slowly and soothingly, he explained, "_Those_ are called coaches, Evans. The school uses them to pick up students from Hogsmede because they're too stingy to spring for carpets."

"I _know_ what coaches are, Black," she spat sarcastically, untangling herself from his grasp and taking another step back. "What are those... those... horse-things?"

"What do they look like, Lily?" Remus asked curiously. Lily explained as best she could, refusing to look at her companions who were watching her with mixed reactions.

Finally, James nodded and stepped forward. "Thestrals. Must be..." He put out his hand and moved toward the coach, unsurprised when his palm came into contact with a spiky, solid flank. He turned back to Lily and grinned. "They're called thestrals. No need to worry, not everyone can see them."

"I've never seen them before today," Lily told him nervously.

With a gentle smile, James came back and took her hand, leading her toward the last coach that was waiting patiently. He decided not to tell her that one could only see a thestral after witnessing a death, though it gave him a bit more insight into her father's passing. Instead, he lifted her into the coach, smiling as his friends took off in the other one, leaving him to climb in with her alone. Lily was too busy staring anxiously at the spectral animal to notice when he slipped an arm around her shoulders and rubbed her arms briskly.

"Don't worry about it, Lily. They've probably always pulled the coaches. You know how erratic these magical things can be," he assured her gently.

As her nerves finally settled, she realized she was snuggled up alone with James Potter in a coach under a starlit sky with his arm around her shoulders. She turned her head and raised her eyebrows at him. "What do you think you're doing, James?"

The smile he gave her was noticeably uncertain and his response came out sounding more like a question. "Comforting you?"

"Is this what I am to expect from your professional courtesy?" she asked quietly. Catching the hint, he removed his arm, clasping his hands timidly between his knees as he smiled innocently at her. "You know, my mother thinks I need to keep kissing you at inopportune times to keep you manageable this term."

"Really?" he squeaked. He cleared his throat and turned to her earnestly. "You know, I think I might respond well to those tactics."

Lily leaned tantalizingly close as their carriage passed under the winged boars guarding the main gates. "Would you like to try it now?"

James couldn't breathe and was only able to swallow convulsively as he stared at her, leaning back reflexively when she moved even nearer, her thigh brushing against his. He was quite unused to having the roles of predator and prey switched on him like this. Lily's nose was mere centimeters from his when she smiled at him devilishly. "Actually, I think her point was that I should keep you guessing," she announced before collapsing back into her seat and staring avidly at the twinkling lights of the castle.

"_That_ was not very nice, Miss Evans," James sniffed disdainfully. He was uncomfortably aware of the way his heart was pounding painfully and his pants seemed to have shrunk several sizes.

"Welcome to my world," she muttered wryly, leaning her cheek into her palm as she watched the castle drawing ever-closer.

James was still for a moment before he asked, "Does that mean you want me to kiss you?"

"_No!_" she cried emphatically, turning to him with wide eyes. Before she could react, he caught her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly, causing her stomach to roll. He could actually feel the heat flooding into her cheeks through his palms as she reached up to grasp his forearms, but didn't pull them away as he moved his lips against hers. For a moment, she even kissed him back, nipping gently at his lower lip in a way that turned his intestines to pudding.

_SMACK! _Stars burst behind James's eyelids as his cheek burned painfully. He opened his eyes in time to see Lily skipping lightly down from the carriage before turning back to him with an impish grin. "Confused, Potter? That's what I'm going for."

"Oh, you little..." he growled as he vaulted down after her. She was _not_ going to get away with treating him like that! She rushed into the crowded hall, but he could still hear her triumphant laughter as they were swept up in the whirl of students.


	4. An inconvenient truce

As the evening feast wound to a close, Lily was forced to fight the tide of sleepy, glutted students to the front of the hall where she could see James and Professor McGonagall were already waiting for her near the end of the high table. She had managed to hide among the sea of black-clad adolescents until now, using an evasive technique that had served her well throughout her time at Hogwarts, but could no longer avoid the inevitable. Her stomach seemed to be gathering into a hard pit as she approached James, who was regarding her with the look of extreme eagerness that made her feel queasy.

"Hello Miss Evans," McGonagall greeted her with a thin smile. "I hope you're ready for another full year. How have you been?" She asked the question in a concerned, confidential tone that caught both of their attention. In her role as head of Gryffindor house, McGonagall had been the one to counsel her after her father's death, and was therefore genuinely concerned that Lily was still doing well after her first holiday at home without him. This unusually personal question from the notoriously stern McGonagall caused James to glance between the two quizzically, but Lily muttered quickly that she was fine, averting her gaze uncomfortably.

"I'm glad to hear it. Follow me you two," she said briefly, moving off between the tables and leading them in a completely different direction than the other students. As she walked, she began explaining to them their privileges and duties as Head Boy and Girl and reminding them of the behavioral expectations the school had for their joint accommodations this year. Lily was slightly relieved to have learned this on the train; it would have been a nasty shock to hear it for the first time on the way to their new dormitory. She was also a little nervous to be left alone with James as he continued shooting ominous looks in her direction, clearly unwilling to forget her merciless teasing in the carriage. McGonagall's explanation was met with many nods and several blushes, and they shortly reached a stone sculpture of a life-sized lion.

"Well, have you two any questions, then?" McGonagall asked in her usual terse manner. As though they were in class, James's hand shot into the air and she awarded him a thin smile. "Yes, Potter?"

"I was wondering if it would be all right if we had friends come visit occasionally," he said quickly. "Lily does have several friends she likes to spend time with and, as you know, my mates and I work best out of the public eye and our common room would be the perfect place for... homework and stuff."

"Yes, I'm sure you and your mates could get up to a lot of interesting _stuff_, given a private common room to tinker in," McGonagall replied with the barest glimmer of humor in her stern brown eyes. Finally she sighed and shook her head. "You'll have to work that out between yourself and Miss Evans, I'm afraid. We're granting you two a lot of trust and responsibility with your title, so I assume you'll be able to settle it amicably."

"Let's hope so," Lily grumbled under her breath.

McGonagall didn't appear to have heard her and clapped her hands briskly. "Well, then, that seems to be all. Now, to get into your dormitory, simply tap the lion's right foot with your wand and say _Una nos sto_."

"Una nostow?" James repeated uncertainly.

Lily cast a scathing look in his direction and shook her head. "_Una_ _nos_ _sto_. It's Latin."

Their stern teacher gave Lily one of her rare smiles. "Well done, Miss Evans. Were we in class, I'd have awarded you points. Instead, I'll let you go explore your new apartments. I will have the student's schedules ready for you to distribute in the morning before breakfast. Goodnight."

They each bid her goodnight and James tapped the lion and carefully uttered the password, glancing back for Lily's approving nod. In his opinion, she didn't need to know his father had taught him Latin and Greek along with English from a very young age; she might think him bookish and he certainly couldn't have _that _sort of rumor going around school. They watched as the statue's mouth yawned down improbably until its jaw reached the ground to reveal an opening wide enough for a person to step through. There was a staircase spiraling down and James stepped to the side and held his arm out saying, "After you" with a charming smile.

Lily merely raised an eyebrow at him before preceding him down the steps, uncomfortable leaving her backside so vulnerable. To her relief, James seemed to be enjoying her jumpy discomfiture too much to act just yet. Torches sprang to life as they passed down the stairs until they reached a large circular room. The stone floor was covered with a large blue and red rug and the windows were covered with heavy green curtains. A fire was blazing merrily in the ornate grate, illuminating the squashy leather chairs, overstuffed sofa and work tables. Bookcases lined the walls filled with various books and interesting objects to be later studied. To Lily's surprise, there was an upright piano on the wall across from the fireplace.

James approached the instrument with a small smile, flipping up the cover and tinkling a few notes. It suddenly occurred to Lily how few musical instruments she had seen in the school outside of Professor Flitwick's choir room. "What do you think that's for?"

"It's for _playing_, Lily," James told her obviously with a wide grin.

She scowled at him. "I know _that_."

"Dumbledore probably had it brought in," James explained, amused by her irritated tone. "He seemed to enjoy when I played for my parent's Christmas party a few years ago. Or my mum asked him hoping I'd actually practice during school."

"Right, James, _you _play piano," Lily scoffed openly. The assertion seemed so ludicrous because the only skills he had ever exhibited had to do with quidditch and trouble, not necessarily in that order. Playing an instrument usually meant a person had patience and commitment along with an appreciation of art, attributes she had never witnessed in James.

"I _do,"_ he laughed, taking a seat at the instrument and running his hands lightly across the keys. "My dad has always loved music, so he taught me to play. I think it was the only thing in our house that doesn't have _some_ kind of spell on it."

Lily could only stare at him as he began to play a bright happy tune. She felt distinctly uncomfortable being faced with the fact that she actually had something quite personal in common with James Potter. She had always hung her argument for them _not_ having a relationship on the grounds that they had nothing in common. After a moment, she realized James had stopped playing and was looked at her with obvious concern.

"Is something amiss, Lily? I know you don't like being wrong, but-"

"Shut up, Potter," she snapped, spinning on her heel and crossing the room quickly, hoping to escape him.

To her chagrin, James followed at her heels and they trouped up the second staircase to a circular landing that boasted three doors and several windows looking out toward the lake. He watched as Lily opened the center door then moved in to see that it led to an enormous bathroom. They took in a pair of gold sinks below a gigantic mirror and a swimming pool sized bathtub illuminated by a grand stained glass window. There were two doors on either side, presumably leading to a shower room and W. C. It was obvious the room was enchanted to fit it all since the doors in the hallway to either side could be no more than three feet away.

"I suppose that means the other two are our rooms," he commented dryly before stepping back out and going to the door on the left. Lily was surprised that he hadn't tried to take advantage of their close proximity in order to brush up against her, but just shook her head and followed him out into the next room.

It was furnished just like any other dorm room, but with just one full bed instead of 5-7singles. There was a heating grate in the corner, several bookshelves, a desk, and a wardrobe, all of which stood around the three windows. The bed was hung with deep red curtains and a single circular rug spanned the center of the room.

"Not bad," James remarked as he ran an idle hand through his hair. He was standing in the middle of the room turning slowly to take it all in.

"Why do you do that?" Lily asked suddenly in a snappish tone. She was tired and edgy and she couldn't help noticing James' nervous habit.

Startled, James looked at her. "What are you talking about?"

Lily dropped her head and turned to leave the room muttering, "Never mind…"

She entered her own bedroom to find it nearly identical to his, only her own trunk was resting against the wall beside the wardrobe. Removing her wand, she decided to try an unpacking spell she had found over the summer, and was pleased when the trunk lid immediately flipped open and all of her possessions flew gracefully to their appropriate places. She had always been clever at charms, but was still excited that the spell had worked so perfectly on her first attempt.

"What was McGonagall getting at earlier when she asked how you were doing?" Lily started and spun around to find James leaning on the doorframe casually surveying the room. Her stomach lurched uncomfortably at the question, and she looked away evasively. That was all she needed: to break down crying in front of James again so they could have another heartfelt talk.

"Nothing. It doesn't matter," she lied, blushing. "It's none of your business."

James' eyes narrowed and he stepped further into the room. "Well, which is it?" he asked, giving her his full attention.

Lily looked away uncomfortably and muttered, "I don't want you in my room, James."

Moving closer so that he was within arm's reach of her, he leaned in and asked carefully, "What was that, Lily? I didn't quite catch what you said."

Her face reddened even more and she took a step back and bumped the edge of her bed, which forced her to sit down abruptly. Irrational anger spiked through her and she glared up at him. Punching her fist into the mattress, she cried, "Why do you have to make me so uncomfortable all the time?"

James cocked his head to the side and considered her earnestly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize me being in the same room with you having a normal conversation would be enough to make you _this_ uncomfortable. Especially coming from the person who snogged and slapped me in the carriage tonight."

"Oh shut it, Potter," she cried, surging to her feet. She took a single step toward him and pushed ineffectually against his chest. "Get out of my room!"

Gently James caught her wrists and pulled her close. When she struggled, he caught her by her upper arms and lifted her off the floor, startling her into silence. He looked down into her face until he was certain he had her full attention then said, "I don't know why you're so angry with me, Lily, but I'm sorry if I've upset you. I'd really like us to be friends this year." Without waiting for her to respond, he set her down and left the room.

Inside his own room, James quickly unloaded his trunk and stored his things in their proper places. Once finished, he leaned into his trunk and pressed a hidden button in the lining and pulled back the false bottom. Lifting out a small round mirror, he tapped the glass briskly and muttered, "Sirius." The surface quickly changed to reflect the dark inside of a pocket. James rolled his eyes and tapped the glass again, he then was able to view a hand, a dorm room, and finally Sirius's face.

"How'd it go?" Sirius asked with a smirk and a glance around to tell the boys it was James to report. Suddenly two other faces crowded around the glass and James had to grin in spite of himself. They all just looked so eager.

"Operation Head Wars is underway," James informed them all lightly.

"What happened?" Peter asked excitedly, his blue eyes round and laughing. "Did she swoon yet?"

James relayed a brief description of the night's events amidst admittedly girly squeals of glee, most of which came from Sirius. As he finished, more excited babble rang out from the other side of the glass and James found himself grinning irrepressibly at his friends. After promising an update for any further developments, he stowed the mirror and got ready for bed.

Taking off his glasses, James extinguished the light and lay on his back with his arms crossed behind his head and the covers pulled up to his waist. He stared pensively at the ceiling and worked to trace the blurry outline of the rafters. In all honesty, James' interest in Lily was earnest, but he couldn't seem to get her to believe it. He didn't completely understand his fascination with her himself, but she drove him to distraction. It hadn't been until the beginning of their fifth year that he started to notice that Lily Evans was a girl. It had come as quite a shock at first, but in hindsight, he realized it had been coming for quite some time.

Throughout their time at school, she had waged war with them, giving as good as she got though she was often outnumbered four to one. He had always considered her a worthy opponent, but after their fifth year, he had started to realize she had a lot of other good qualities like kindness, intelligence, and loyalty (not to mention a nice body); none of which were as annoying as he had once thought. Not only that, but after what had become known as the infamous scene at the lake, he realized something else about her: she expected more of him. It was a fact that had begun to change his entire perception of himself.

As the months wore on, James felt as though his mind was split into three warring factions. In an unprecedented development, he was caught between what his friends expected of him, what Lily expected of him, and what he expected of himself, something he had never considered before. The main problem was: none of these ideas corresponded exactly with the others. This had been particularly disturbing for him because his expectations had matched up with his friend's. Suddenly, he began questioning himself, something he had never done before. The self-reflection had inevitably led to transformation, which he had done his best to keep quiet.

Having grown privately into a different sort of person, he had done his best to show Lily how he had changed, though he was still uncertain why it was so important for her to understand this. James was well aware there were plenty of girls out there that would do nearly anything for his attention, but he couldn't muster up the interest to engage them. His frequent attempts to gain Lily's notice had been repeatedly misinterpreted, and, if he was honest with himself, not without good reason. Not easily discouraged and with the help of his friends, he had resolved to scheme as deviously as necessary in order to obtain her regard. James was keenly aware that this was their last year at Hogwarts and, quite possibly, his last chance to get her attention.

A soft knock shook James out of his reverie and he stood quickly to cross the room. Opening the door, he peered down into a blurry face surrounded by a mass of dark red hair and smiled solicitously. Since he couldn't see her well, he failed to observe her start of surprise, flushing face, and eyes looking everywhere but at his bare chest.

"I'm sorry I teased you and got so angry," she said softly while staring fixedly at the corner joint of the doorframe. She had been thinking about what he'd said and, as always, felt guilty for the unwarranted burst of temper. She was also feeling distinctly uncomfortable about kissing him in the coach, although hitting him didn't bother her near as much.

James smiled and inadvertently reached up to rumple his hair, drawing her gaze, only to glance swiftly away. "Don't worry about it, Lily, I meant what I said. I'm tired of acting like kids and having this stupid feud standing between us. I think you're a great person and I'd just like to be able to be in the same room with you without it ending in an argument."

Lily smiled in spite of herself and moved a little closer so that he could see her clearly. She saw his eyes light up and his smile broadened just a bit as he focused on her. A faint heat rose in her cheeks as their eyes met and she had to fight the immediate urge to look away.

"I think I'd like us to be friends too, James, but I still don't trust you," she told him quietly. With some definite misgivings, she put out her hand to shake and he took it gently. The touch was almost like an electric current jolting through her arm. Pulling away quickly, she shook her finger in his face and said, "And if you start up that "we were meant to be together" nonsense again, I promise to jinx you into next week!"

James laughed and replied, "Ok deal… I think… Is it all right with you if I still harbor a secret obsession with you?"

Lily rolled her eyes and stepped back. "As long as it doesn't affect our working relationship. Goodnight James."

"Lily," he called quietly as she turned toward her bedroom. He waited until he had the vague idea that she'd turned back, at least he could see she had stopped moving, before continuing. "What was McGonagall on about earlier?"

Sighing, Lily pulled her hair over her shoulder, tangling her fingers in it distractedly, and said wearily, "I don't really want to talk about it, Potter."

"So it's "Potter" again, is it?" he replied sadly. "I wish we could be friends, Lily, but if you're not willing to let me in, I'm afraid that's never going to happen."

Lily took a few steps back toward him until he could see her clearly again and looked up at him with a nervous, pained expression. "I'm sorry, James, but I think you can understand why I'd be hesitant sharing my personal life with you. McGonagall was the one who talked me through a lot of stuff after my dad died, so she was just checking up on me."

Nodding, James touched her cheek and, for the first time, she didn't flinch away, but gave him a watery smile. Emboldened, he said, "Okay, you don't have to tell me any more, but I want you to know that I'm here for you if you should need anything."

Without meaning to, Lily gave him a wide smile that took his breath away. It was the first time she had ever smiled at him like that. "All right, James. I'll keep that in mind. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Lily."

Lily padded back to her bedroom and heard the soft click of James's door as he shut it behind her. She was suspicious, but she was also tired and didn't feel like she had the energy to worry too much about it tonight. Making a snap decision, she gathered her pajamas and headed for the bathroom, intent on having a relaxing soak before bedtime. Locking the door behind her, she filled the enormous tub with water and suds and undressed, her mind turning over the day's strange events. As she sank beneath the bubbles, she thought of James and the way he appeared to have changed. He hadn't even paid her back for slapping him in the carriage, though experience taught her that he could be a very patient person when it came to retribution.

Almost against her will, her fingers drifted to her mouth as she remembered how soft and warm his lips had been against hers. Though it hadn't been the first time he'd kissed her, it was the first time she'd kissed him back like that. Uncomfortably, she noticed an awkward heat between her legs and dove under the surface of the water, doing her best to push the memory of the kiss away as she swam a couple of laps.

She still wasn't quite sure if she could trust him, but she had to admit that he was right: she didn't want to keep fighting him all the time. She fought enough at home. It upset her more than she cared to admit that James could play the piano. Her father had loved music and all of his girls had loved to play for him. Their house was always full of music before he died. Since then, the piano in their parlour had done nothing but collect dust while her mother grew increasingly more listless and pale. Lily forced thoughts of her parents from her mind as she surfaced with a gasp and decided to get out.

She toweled off nervously, feeling exposed in the wide, empty space. Against her will, her eyes kept trailing anxiously to the locked door, as if she expected James to come bursting through with a camera at any second. It wouldn't have been the first time... Mindless of her damp hair, she quickly pulled a light linen nightgown on before shoving her feet into a pair of fluffy slippers. It was a relief to be dressed.

Laughing at her nerves, she left the bathroom and moved into her own room, flicking on the lights and staring in surprise at the small pile of clothing that had appeared on her bed. There was everything from a single green mitten embroidered with snowflakes to a pair of lacy black knickers in the collection. Every scrap of clothing she had ever misplaced in her six years at Hogwarts had been returned to her. It was accompanied by a tiny corner of parchment with a small, laughing face that made Lily smile unconsciously. Apparently, this was James's version of a peace offering, though she noticed one pair of her knickers were still missing. She had a sneaking suspicion these had been used for nefarious purposes, but decided to let it slide.

Feeling uncommonly lighthearted, she turned around and went to knock on James's door once again. She waited patiently as she heard the squeak of the mattress, followed immediately by a loud bump and groan, then the sound of hopping as James came to the door. Had he always been this clumsy, or was it just when he was sleepy? The door finally wrenched open and she smiled up at him, dangling her freshly returned pair of knickers in front of her.

James blinked at them for a moment before reaching up to anxiously rub the back of his neck. "Yeah... thought you might like those back..."

"What will you collect now that you've given up stealing my things?" she asked innocently.

With a mischievous grin, James leaned back against the doorframe, crossed his arms over his chest, and shrugged nonchalantly. "There are lots of people at this school, Lily."

"Lots of opportunities to indulge your kleptomania," she filled in humorously. "I'd like to know how it is that a boy who could buy anything he wants feels the compulsive need to steal from his peers."

"I've never stolen anything without reason," he replied evenly.

Lily eyed him skeptically before looking down at the lacy panties. "And the reason for stealing this would be... as a masturbatory aid?" James gaped at her in surprise. He'd never expected those words to come out of her mouth in his presence, or ever, for that matter, and was speechless for several seconds. The extreme pause was enough to convince her she had hit the mark. "Thought so..."

"No, Lily, no. It's not like I've... wanked off or anything with your..." he stumbled uncomfortably and Lily found herself enjoying the feeling of power that came with upsetting someone so much that they didn't know how to respond. For the first time, she could kind of understand the Marauder's motives.

"You sure you don't want to keep these, James?" she teased smugly, twirling the knickers enticingly around her index finger. "I mean, the average seventeen-year-old male-"

"If I need a sexual release, I don't have to look too far to find one," James interrupted loudly, causing Lily to blush in surprise. After a moment, he realized how the assertion might sound to her and rushed to correct himself. "That's not to say... I don't mean... you know what I mean, right?"

Having recovered slightly, she tilted her head to the side and gave him a small smile. "I don't think you need to explain your reputation _or_ your sexual exploits to me, James. Just so long as no one says I'm part of them."

"Come on, don't you want to see what all the fuss is about?" he teased gamely.

Giving him a sultry look, Lily took a step toward him and ran her hand down his bare chest. She let her eyes travel suggestively over his body before smiling up at him. His throat went suddenly dry as her fingers fiddled with the waistband of his pajamas. "How is it that you say you want me so much, but whenever you get close, you don't follow through?"

In response, James tenderly reached for her, feeling the heat of her skin through the thin fabric of her nightgown as he pulled her directly in front of him. Lily felt her stomach jump and color flood into her cheeks as he ran his fingers in light circles at the curve of her waist and bent tantalizingly close. He stopped with his nose brushing hers and Lily fought the urge to close her eyes, even as her heartbeat sped up in anticipation.

"Because you always hit me or disappear when I get too close," he whispered gently. Immediately he took a step back and released her. Lily's eyes flickered in surprise and he smiled. "See? Two can play at this game. Goodnight, Lily."

Before he could duck in his room, she caught sight of the obvious bulge in his pants and beamed at him. "Well done, Potter. You _do_ have some self-control. I'd say that's lesson one learned. You deserve a reward."

With an unabashed grin, James leaned forward, plucking the knickers out of her hand and kissing her forehead. "Thanks. I try. I guess this is the first step in you realizing I'm a respectable person."

"I guess so," she laughed, taking a step away. "Goodnight, James."

"Goodnight, love," he returned softly, retreating back into his room.

Lily returned to bed, feeling slightly dazed. She couldn't believe she had flirted with him so brazenly. Even more than that, she couldn't believe he had abstained from trying to take advantage of the situation. She extinguished the lights quickly, hoping not to think too closely about her motives for teasing him so blatantly.

As she lay down to sleep, she thought about how nice it would be to end the stupid war between herself and the Marauders. Of course, it wouldn't work since they'd never stop bullying people. Then again, James seemed... different, somehow. He hadn't tried to take advantage of her when she was practically throwing herself at him. And when he was sitting at the piano, he seemed so open and vulnerable. Her last thought as she drifted off to sleep was how nice his eyes were and why she had never noticed before.


	5. Learning to get along

Lily jerked awake sometime just after dawn and huddled under her covers for several tense seconds, almost too scared to breathe, before remembering where she was. She had been dreaming of home. Her father had come back and kept asking where her mother and sister were. When she said she didn't know, he had gotten angry and started chasing her. Though her father had never struck her in her life, she had been terrified of what he would do when he caught her. Taking a deep breath of air, Lily forced herself out of bed and went to the bathroom for a shower.

She stepped under the steaming tap and let the water wash over her. It was so hot that it quickly turned her skin red, but she didn't mind. The dream had left her feeling empty and cold, and the heat seemed like a positive solution. She didn't know how long she stayed in there, scrubbing her hair and skin furiously as she worked to rid herself of the lingering tendrils of terror, but finally stepped out and began to towel off.

Still bleary from sleep, she had forgotten to bring her clothes with her and she frowned to herself as she realized she'd have to make the dash to her room in only a towel. With luck (not hers), she had just reached the door to the bathroom when the knob turned and James stumbled in. He was still in his pajamas and they stared at each other for the space of several heartbeats. His hair was looking more unruly than ever and he peered at her through bleary, sleep filled eyes before muttering something that sounded like, "Wadayadoinbaaroom?"

Lily gave him an anxious smile before quickly announcing, "Don't worry, James, it's all yours" and slipping past him into the hallway. She dashed into her bedroom, leaving James to blink fuzzily in her wake. He couldn't see well without his glasses, but he was pretty sure Lily Evans had just been mostly naked.

Safely in her room with the door locked, Lily rushed to dress, embarrassment finally overwhelming the trauma that had haunted her since she had woken. Accompanied by the sounds of James sleepily bumping around in the bathroom, she quickly dried her hair and pulled it back into a low ponytail before putting on her shoes and gathering her books in her satchel. By the time she had finished all of this and walked into the common room, James was coming out of the bathroom looking relatively more revived and ready for school, despite the fact that his shirt was rumpled and half un-tucked and his tie was already hanging loosely from his collar.

"Lovely, Potter," she teased as he rumpled his hair nervously under her scrutiny. "We need to get down to the Great Hall so we can pass out the schedules."

He looked at her closely and decided whatever he had thought he'd seen had been a figment of his imagination. Pushing the thought from his mind, James grinned before dodging back into his room. "Just a sec, I need to get my shoes."

"Are your mornings always like this?" she laughed as he disappeared. That would explain a lot. Lily rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall, tapping her toe in mock impatience as she listened to the bumps and bangs coming from James' room. He rushed out on one foot, just managing to slip the shoe over his heel as he hopped toward the stairway. Lily laughed out loud at the sight before trailing after him, touching her throat self-consciously as she remembered the way he had looked at her earlier.

They talked companionably until they reached the Great Hall then hastened to meet with McGonagall at the foot of the teacher's table. So far there were just a few students having breakfast and only Flitwick and McGonagall were at the teacher's table. McGonagall hurried over at the sight of them and, with a few last-minute instructions, handed out the student's schedules.

As the prefects arrived, James and Lily passed out their appropriate stacks before sitting down to eat. They were quickly joined by the remaining members of the Marauders, who were mysteriously polite and pleasant to Lily; making civil conversation as if it were second nature. By the first bell signaling class to start, Lily's suspicions were piqued and she was ready to talk to someone.

Her first class was Advanced Herbology, and she quickly claimed a place next to Alice, who greeted her pleasantly. Professor Sprout bustled in and started arranging things for the students so that they could help prune her fanged geranium, which had grown to quite a size since she had begun cultivating it three years ago. Lily took the opportunity to start a conversation.

"So how's Frank?" she asked cheerfully.

Alice's round cheeks turned pink and she smiled dreamily as she pulled on her gloves. "Fine," she murmured breathily.

Lily grinned at the girl's shy response. "Didn't you get to see him at all over holiday? Besides the night we invaded, of course..."

The blush deepened and she nodded. "Yes, but I met his mother the last time we saw each other and... it wasn't a very good introduction."

"What happened?" Lily asked quietly. Though Alice could be a little accident-prone, she couldn't imagine anyone not liking her.

"Well, it's not entirely my fault. Mrs. Longbottom is... well, she's sort of particular and she... she means well, but..." she trailed off and shot her friend a miserable look. "She's scary beyond all reason. Suffice it to say that Frank takes after his father."

Lily gave her a sympathetic smile. After all, weren't all parents that way about their children? She knew her father didn't think anyone was good enough for his girls when he was alive. When he had first met Vernon, he had actually been able to intimidate the young man with many warnings and cautions before he would allow him to leave with Petunia. The memory made her sad, so she snipped quietly at the plant for several minutes without looking up.

"So what's going on with you and James?" Alice asked suddenly, causing Lily to jerk in surprise and drop her trimmers.

"Nothing's going on with me and James. What are you talking about?" She nearly stammered, stooping to retrieve the clippers and hide her flaming face.

Alice laughed good-naturedly and said, "I see. So you and him sitting together for breakfast was just unfortunate happenstance?"

"Well, we _are_ Head Girl and Boy," she told her stiffly, irked by the girl's amusement.

"That means you sleep together now, doesn't it?" Alice exclaimed before reddening once more. "I mean, erm, you sleep in the same dorm- or, no, but you have your own dorm. That you both sleep in. In separate rooms. Right?"

"Right, Alice," Lily laughed, amused by her discomfiture. She then sobered and said, "I actually need to talk to you about that. Potter has been acting weird since we got on the train yesterday, and I kind of... let him kiss me."

"You what?!?" Alice practically shouted, drawing Professor Sprout's curious stare. Reddening, she dropped her voice and whispered, "You let James kiss you? When? How was it? Did you-"

"Yes. It was fine. In the carriage on the way to the castle. I don't want to talk about it," she recited quickly. "Last night he told me he wanted to be friends and returned everything he's ever stolen from me. This morning I ate breakfast with him and his friends and they were all seriously nice and charming. I just feel awkward and suspicious."

Alice was silent for a minute before shooting a suspicious glance in her friend's direction. "Why'd you let him kiss you? Did you kiss him back?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Alice," Lily reminded her stubbornly.

Alice wisely refrained from focusing on the point she felt needed to be addressed and considered the rest of the problem for a moment as she snipped carefully at the excess leaves. Finally she asked, "Well, what is it exactly that you don't like about James?"

"The fact that he's a spoiled, self-interested prat who struts around the school like he owns it and hexes anyone who looks at him cross-eyed," Lily spat viciously, her green eyes sparkling angrily as she hacked an entire limb off the bush, which shivered violently. Professor Sprout came by and scolded Lily that she needed to work more gently before Alice was able to respond.

"He's not really that way anymore," she defended delicately. "In fact, last year some seventh years had been bullying Frank and the Marauders stood up to them."

Lily winced, then reminded her, "But Frank's a Gryffindor and they always look after their own. They even defend _me_ when other houses are involved."

Alice nodded and said, "I know, but they still have been a lot better than they were. In fact, I'd say they'd been changing since fifth year when James started talking about liking you and you guys had that showdown by the lake. The time when he… was, you know, pranking Severus." Alice refused to meet her gaze and her voice had gone very soft as she trailed off. To common knowledge, that had been the last time Lily had spoken to or defended Severus Snape and Alice wasn't sure she wasn't treading on thin ice bringing the incident up. Lily had never wanted to talk to her about it, though she was aware the other girl had been friends with the sullen young man since first year.

Lily continued working steadily as she digested what Alice had said. It was true. The Marauders had become slightly less unbearable after that whole incident. They'd even laid off Severus a bit since then, breaking the solemn enmity they had held since first year. It seemed to her, however, that James had rapidly matured just over the holiday. The transition from obnoxious pest to quiet, considerate young man was alarming, at best.

"Look, Lily, I'm sorry I brought it up," Alice said as the uncomfortable silence continued. She was sure she had offended the other girl by referring to that uncomfortable event and didn't know how else to bridge the faux pas.

"No, Alice, don't apologize," Lily exclaimed as she broke out of her reverie. "I was just thinking about what you said and you're right: they have changed. I guess it's silly of me to be so jumpy about them being nice to me." Lily gave her a rueful smile which Alice heartily returned, relieved that she hadn't caused offense.

"Then again," she said playfully, "I guess you can never really trust a Marauder…" Lily laughed and the two passed the rest of the class in companionable conversation.

Lily's next class was Defense Against the Dark Arts and she nearly had to run from the greenhouse into the castle in order to make it in time. She collapsed into her seat just as the new professor stepped into the room. She was a tall woman with short, dark hair and an extraordinarily full figure. In truth, she was only a few years older than the students. Still, she smiled at them in a friendly way and got down to business.

"Hello students, I'm Professor Fittinger. I understand from your previous professor that you left off studying dueling strategies, so I think we'd best do a quick overview before you start practicing some basic deflections."

Lily had pulled out her books and was scribbling notes attentively when a ball of paper skittered across her scroll. She looked up with barely concealed irritation and spotted James pointing to the paper and mouthing "Read it."

With a sigh, she uncrumpled the paper and read: _Do you have an extra quill I can borrow? Sirius sat on mine and I'm borrowing Remus' for this note._

Lily looked back at him and he smiled and shrugged helplessly. Scribbling furiously, Lily wrote "Are you a wizard or aren't you? Fix it!" before balling it up and sending it sailing back across the room.

Turning back to the front, Lily was surprised to find Professor Fittinger standing directly in front of her with a sly smile on her face. "Is that something you'd like to share with the rest of the class, Miss-?"

"Evans," Lily replied blushing. "Sorry, Professor, but Potter broke his quill and was asking to borrow mine."

"Oh really?" Professor Fittinger drawled as she raised an eyebrow. "Well, if that's the case then passing notes in class has gotten incredibly boring since I left school." She straightened and looked back at James, who grinned winningly, before returning her gaze to Lily. "You mean that handsome young man couldn't think of anything better to say to you than to ask if you had an extra quill?"

Lily felt her blush deepen and she tried to sink lower in her chair as she mumbled, "We're just friends, Professor."

Professor Fittinger smiled at her condescendingly before, mercifully, returning to her lecture. It was some time later that the students were separated into small groups to work through the deflection spells. Soon there were students falling stunned around the room as they worked to get their timing right.

Lily had been paired with Peter Pettigrew, but they were also working right next to the rest of the Marauders and Frank Longbottom. The other three Marauders kept thinking up improbable reasons to come over to ask for help, making Lily feel more than a little annoyed as she blocked Peter's weak spells and did his best to help him work out the technique for defense. More than once Lily was forced to roll her eyes with Frank when Sirius came over to ask a question, or Remus wanted a consult to ensure the pronunciation of a word, or James needed to ask if they thought he was holding his wand correctly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of James sadly shaking his head at Sirius and turning toward them for what was sure to be another insipid conference of the minds. She was so busy worrying about what he would ask _this _time that she forgot about Peter attacking her and suddenly collapsed under a particularly strong stunning spell.

Peter stared at her, aghast as she dropped to the ground. During the holiday at James's house, the boys had practiced dueling, Stunning Spells included, and almost without exception, he had been rubbish. His attempts at stunning had been inadequate to make any of his even friends _sleepy, _let alone knock them to the ground. Besides that, he hadn't been able to get a single shot past Lily's defenses in forty minutes, so he could only gape in horror between the prone figure on the floor and his wand.

"What did you do, mate?" Sirius's amused voice broke through his shocked haze as he and James, who had been the closest group to them, came to inspect the damage. He leaned over the unconscious Head Girl before looking up at him gravely. "Well done, Wormtail, you made scorch marks."

"What?!?" Peter cried in panic, swinging his eyes to James, who was looking quite angry. "P-Prongs, y-you know, I d-didn't mean to, right? It just... happened."

James couldn't help but smile at the panicked young man and clapped his hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, mate. These things happen."

He bent down and gently prodded her with his wand, muttering, "_Enervate."_ Lily groaned and squirmed, feeling as though someone had upended the Whomping Willow on top of her head. She blinked sluggishly, the light in the room hurting her eyes as she focused on a shadowy figure above her. For a moment, she couldn't figure out where she was and felt a thrill of panic as her dream came back to her. She let out an involuntary shout and lashed out at James, who was bending close to check on her. Being used to such things, he avoided her easily before catching her hands, doing his best to reassure her in a soothing voice.

"Is everything all right, boys?" a languid voice asked somewhere above her.

"Fine, Professor. Peter here just doesn't know his own strength," Sirius replied cheerfully. "She probably just needs a little pick-me-up. _Accio_."

Remus's satchel instantly shot across the room and Sirius captured it deftly, digging around inside for a moment before pulling out a thick bar of chocolate and waving it questioningly at Remus. His friend nodded and he started breaking it into chunks, handing the pieces to James to feed to Lily.

"All right, love, up we get." Wrapping an arm around her waist, James pulled her up into a sitting position in his lap, causing the room to spin before he pushed a bit of chocolate into her mouth. She coughed, but the room stopped moving, so she accepted another piece.

"Lily, I'm so sorry," Peter apologized profusely.

Finally able to focus, she smiled at him. Seeing his distress, she said kindly, "Nice one, Peter."

He hovered over her anxiously as James tried to feed her another piece of chocolate and she stopped his hand to take it from him. After several more minutes, she had stopped feeling shaky and vague and realized she was sitting in James's lap, at which point she gave him a murderous look. "Just couldn't help yourself, could you?"

"What?" James replied in genuine confusion. Taking him off guard, Lily shoved him backward before scrambling off his lap and brushing her clothes straight. James glared at her from his sprawled position on the ground, opening his mouth with an angry retort.

"Wonderful. A full recovery," Professor Fittinger announced genially, putting an abrupt halt to what had promised to be a spectacular argument. "Ten points to Gryffindor for Mr. Black being so prepared."

Sirius gave the young Professor a cheeky wink and Lily seriously considered murdering him when she beamed back, clearly smitten. As the bell finally rang, Lily was ready to cheerfully strangle them all. Dumping her things back into her bag, she turned to leave the classroom, only to find all four Marauders waiting for her patiently with matching grins.

"Would you mind if we joined you for lunch, Lily?" Peter asked timidly, still feeling badly about hurting her. Lily couldn't help smiling slightly as they all did their best to maintain casual interest. In answer, she set off at a slightly less rapid pace than she would have had she a dragon on her tail and allowed the boys to tag along.

"Is that a yes?" Sirius asked loudly enough for her to hear.

"Well, she's not hexing us, so I think that's a good sign," Remus replied adroitly.

When Lily finally gained the Head's common room that evening, she was certain, no matter how much the Marauders had "tamed," that there was definitely something going on with them. At every opportunity the entire day, be she in class, eating, or studying, one or more of the Marauders (and several times all of them) were there, overwhelming her with their friendly overtures. It was like being mauled by large affectionate dogs at every turn and she felt guilty and exhausted after the day's events.

Deciding that a warm bath would help her relax, Lily trudged slowly up the stairs and into the bathroom. It took quite some time for the "bath" to fill with the assortment of different liquids and bubbles, but Lily felt secure. All of the borderline stalking James had done in the previous two years had had the unintended side-effect of giving her a general knowledge of his daily routine. She expected that Potter would be out with his mates for at least a couple more hours and she would be alone for the first time all day.

As Lily slipped into the warm water with a book, she worked hard to forget about the things that had been bothering her lately: her sister's petulant behavior, James, her father's death, James, her mother's illness, James, her undecided future, James, and the strange transformation of the Marauders into friendly, civilized people, just to name a few. This was an increasingly difficult task as she jumped whenever she heard a noise and started thinking all over about her troubles.

Lily had not the temperament to be a worrier, so the last nine months coupled with the new developments at school were taking quite a toll on her. She couldn't for the life of her figure out what to do about it all. Not only that, but none of the people she had confided in had any advice for her other than patience. It all seemed to be just a hopeless mess.

Closing the book firmly and setting it on the edge of the tub, Lily took a deep breath and plunged under the bubbles, relaxing her muscles and allowing herself to drift until she had to come up for breath. Floating on her back, she poignantly recalled her first year at Hogwarts. Her father was alive, everything was new and exciting, she and Petunia got on well enough, and she had been making more friends at Hogwarts. Severus Snape, the mysterious companion she had met several months before was even there and he seemed to always know how to help her when things went wrong.

"Then everything changed," Lily said softly to herself as she stood and began a leisurely swim across the pool as she fought back the tears. For some reason, after third year, Severus had started to act differently toward her. It had started with him just being busy, which soon graduated into distance and, finally, during their fifth year, to outright spitefulness. After the infamous scene at the lake, Severus had never spoken to her again and had pointedly avoided her when she tried.

He had a new group of friends now, and Lily was sad to think that they were not a very respectable lot. They were all Slytherins from pureblooded, ancient magical families and all had a distinct distaste for anyone who hadn't come from the same background. Lily generally had no idea what they were on about, but she steered clear of them just the same. She didn't pretend to understand everything about the whole You-Know-Who business, but it seemed like these were some people who thought he had the right idea. The closest thing she had to compare them with was the holocaust during the second world war, but knew it had to be more complicated than that or someone like Dumbledore would simply put a stop to it.

Lily suddenly sat up and shook her head. With all of the secret organizations, plotting and muddled relationships Hogwarts presented the average student to tangle with, Lily felt anyone had to be at least half mad in order to get through seven years. Lily pulled herself out of the bath and toweled off in continued thoughtful silence. She had just pulled on her robe when the bathroom door banged open and James Potter rushed in.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she practically screamed as her face reddened and she quickly tied her robe and clutched the top closed.

Freezing in his tracks, James did something unexpected: he blushed at the sight of her and swiftly spun around so that his back was to her. "Merlin's head, Lily, I had no idea you were in here! I was just heading to the loo and I didn't even think…" he trailed off lamely and started shuffling from one foot to the other in obvious discomfort.

Lily's surprise had cooled just a bit and she answered quietly, "Well, just knock next time, okay? Now stop doing that potty dance and go to the toilet before you wet yourself."

Momentarily forgetting his extreme discomfort, James turned to glance at her and asked, "What's a potty dance?"

Lily laughed and came up next to him. "It's something Americans say when little kids need to go to the bathroom. They bend over, put their hands between their legs and shuffle from side to side like you were doing. I heard it in a movie once. Apparently, it's a universal signal that a person needs to go to the bathroom."

James laughed at the picture she painted then excused himself to rush to the W.C. After two years of stalking, he had been confident that Lily would still be in the library, even at that late hour, finishing up homework or getting a head start on reading. He had never imagined she would be taking a bath and was furious with himself for having walked in on her while she was undressed.

"She's gonna think I was trying to peep on her," James muttered miserably to himself as he finished his business. He washed his hands and exited the bathroom, then headed directly to his own room.

He had spent an enjoyable few hours with his friends setting up an elaborate trap for Argus Filch, the school caretaker, and had run right back to the dorm in order to finish up his remaining homework and check through the list of students who had signed up to try out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team before grabbing his Invisibility Cloak so that the four friends could get a front row seat to Filch's unfortunate accident during rounds. Despite the prospect of humiliating the hateful man, James couldn't neglect his duties. He had been named Quidditch Captain at the end of last year and he was eager to hold tryouts and fill out his team. He needed two chasers and a new seeker and he wanted to keep an eye out for any talented beaters.

Quickly scanning the list of prospects, James laughed and put his hands over his eyes. "Oh no," he chuckled, "not Geoff Locke!"

Geoffrey Locke was a cheeky fourth year that had been trying to get onto the Gryffindor Quidditch team for the past three years. He had doggedly signed up for tryouts each year despite the fact that he had been too young, had no discernible prowess on the Quidditch field (indeed, he didn't appear capable of keeping himself on a flying broomstick), and was a member of Hufflepuff house. The eager boy had always been quick to boast about his imaginary accomplishments and possessed a single-minded self-confidence that it appeared no amount of failure could disrupt. His only real claim to fame seemed to be that he was very good at memory charms.

A soft knock at his door drew him out of his bemused reverie and he looked up and called his visitor to enter. Lily slipped into the room and smiled at him, leaving the door open and crossing to the bed. She was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans with a green shirt under a white sweater, her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. She sat on the edge of the bed and grinned at him, causing his face to flush slightly.

"Sorry again for the... erm... for walking in on you," he mumbled uncomfortably, causing Lily's grin to widen. It was rare that the two had their roles switched and Lily found herself enjoying his discomfiture, but she swiftly took pity on him.

"Forget about it, James. I'm used to you blundering obliviously into uncomfortable situations by now. What are you doing?" she asked tapping the list curiously.

"I was just looking over the signups for Quidditch," he told her, still feeling slightly uncomfortable.

Lily nodded in understanding and asked, "Any good ones?"

"Well, I won't know until we see them in action, but Geoff Locke has signed up again and I have to say that I don't know what to do with him." James found himself slowly relaxing as they discussed a topic he was incredibly knowledgeable about, and he realized suddenly that they had never had a conversation about Quidditch before, not that they had had many topical discussions. He had a vague idea that Lily didn't care much for it, but he wasn't really sure if it was a general distaste for Quidditch or the fact that she literally couldn't ride a broomstick if her life depended on it.

"Geoff Locke the fourth year Hufflepuff?" Lily asked incredulously, her eyes rounding in surprise. "I didn't know he was interested in Quidditch."

James rolled his eyes and laughed easily. "Yeah, he's been trying to get onto the Gryffindor Quidditch team for the past three years and he's always bragging about how great he is, but he can't really even hold his own on a broom as far as I can see."

"Not all of us can be brilliant quidditch players like you, James," Lily teased drolly.

"You think I'm brilliant?" James asked in surprise.

Lily couldn't help the blush that crept into her cheeks as she tried to avoid his gaze. "Well, I hear you're very good. And you almost always get top marks in class without studying, so you have to be at least a _little_ clever," she conceded delicately.

James did his best to shrug nonchalantly, but couldn't help grinning at the happy bubble expanding in his chest. "I think that was a compliment."

"It was a statement of fact," she replied quickly. "Not a compliment."

"You know, it was really your tone that tipped me off," James added thoughtfully, "because you definitely sounded impressed."

Lily tried to laugh, but couldn't deny that her cheeks were burning painfully. "You have a wild imagination, Potter."

Ducking his head so he could look into her face, he grinned and asked, "Aw, Lily, are you put out because you said something nice to me?"

"You'll be put out when I box your ears," she retorted menacingly, causing him to laugh. A moment of silence elapsed and James sat up as it began to get a little awkward. Lily nervously tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and coughed, looking down at the floor and James thought furiously for something else to say.

"Did you need something when you came in?" he asked suddenly, proud of his brilliant stab at conversational skills.

"I just wanted to let you know there were no hard feelings about… earlier," she explained, with a small smile as she flicked her eyes up to his face. James couldn't help staring at her for a moment, enchanted by her rosy cheeks and emerald eyes.

When another silence elapsed, Lily broke in, "I actually have something to ask you. It's very important, so you have to tell me the truth." She smiled at him in order to soften her words as he had started to look decidedly uncomfortable.

"I'll do my best," he laughed nervously, reaching up a hand to rumple his hair.

Suppressing another smile, Lily asked, "When is our date?"

Whatever he had been expecting, this wasn't it. James's jaw dropped and he stared at her stupidly for a moment. It was as though the gears in his brain had jammed and he needed to work them out before addressing the question. Finally, he coughed and asked, "When do you have time?"

"Oh, so I actually get to decide something about this debacle?" she teased wryly. "You know my schedule better than anyone else, James, you should be able to pick out a time."

"Friday?"

Lily shook her head sadly. "I'm disappointed, James. You know I have choir practice on Fridays. Try again."

"Saturday... night?" he amended quickly, remembering she was usually in Charms club in the morning.

The saucy redhead raised an eyebrow at him. "Will you be putting off Quidditch tryouts?"

"Why do you know about _my_ schedule?" he asked suspiciously.

Lily couldn't help laughing at his dubious look. "It's an unfortunate by-product of you stalking me. You know my schedule so you can pop up all the time and I know yours so that I can do my best to dodge you."

"Not very good at that, are you?" he remarked ironically.

"Clever," she drawled sarcastically, flicking her wand and sending his pillow sailing at the back of his head.

Laughing, James put the pillow back. "How's this: I can do Quidditch on Friday night while you're sucking up to Flitwick."

"I do not suck up to Professor Flitwick," she cried crossly.

"But you certainly _are_ his favorite," James shot back defiantly.

Lily rolled her eyes at him. "You're just jealous because all of the professors dread having you in class."

"What's so wrong with that?" he laughed easily.

"Quite a bit, actually. My mum would probably kill me if I got detention as often as you."

"Or ever, for that matter?" James added thoughtfully. "You know, Lily, we _could_ get detention for sneaking off school grounds for our date."

Lily eyed him warily. "Who said it had to be off grounds?"

James snorted in disgust. "What kind of guy would I be if I took you on a fancy date in the school cafeteria? We're going to Hogsmede and it will be magical."

"No pun intended?" Lily laughed. "James, why are you making me do this? You could have any other girl on the planet, yet you've fixated on me when you know very well how much I loathe every moment of it."

"You really don't know?' he asked seriously, his face flushing slightly. Lily shook her head and watched in fascination as he squirmed uncomfortably. "Well, it's because of you," he admitted, rumpling his hair for effect. "I really... fancy you, Lily, and I just haven't been able to get it across right. This year, is my last shot, so I'm going to do whatever it takes to make it count."

Lily's face had gone red at his announcement, but then she looked regretful. "I'm sorry, James, but I really don't feel the same."

"So there's no chance for us then?" James asked quietly, not meeting her eyes. Suddenly he straightened his shoulders and forced a smile. "No matter. I'll do my best to bring you around."

Feeling caught somewhere between amusement and regret, Lily shook her head. "Not easily discouraged, are you?"

"Caught that, did you?" he replied with a cheeky grin. "Let me put it this way: my mum waited seven years for her boss to notice that the girl typing up his reports was brilliant, attractive, and madly in love with him. If it worked for my parents, it can work for me."

"But I know you're brilliant, attractive, and madly in love with me," Lily teased thoughtlessly.

James gave her a pointed look. "Then it won't take that long to get you to the next step, will it?"

"Whatever happened to being friends, James?" she asked hopelessly.

"We can be friends, but you're still not getting out of the date, Evans," he told her resolutely.

"Yes sir," she replied quietly, looking at her hands while her stomach turned over at his predicament. Pushing the thought aside, Lily suddenly smiled and dropped a quick kiss on James's cheek. By the way they both jerked back, it was difficult to say who was more surprised by the gesture.

"I'll just... go back to my room now," Lily babbled hastily. She stood abruptly and almost fell over before backing swiftly towards the door. "That wasn't... that didn't mean..." She stopped quickly and took a breath, looking around the room as if there was something there that would amend her grievous gaffe. Finding nothing, she turned back to him and laughed harshly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

James fell back onto his bed, a wide grin crossing his face as his hand reached up to touch his cheek. Lily Evans had just kissed him! Again! And then run away! Maybe if he could just be patient, someday all this scheming just might pay off. In the meantime, he needed to start his school work so that he could meet up with the boys. Business now, pleasure later.


	6. Too clever

Lily woke up the first Saturday of the school year with a mixture of intense relief and unbearable dread. She had expected some added stress along with the title of Head Girl, but somehow expecting it and experiencing it had become two different things. It seemed over the last week that every single first year had either gotten lost on the way to class, forgotten their password, accidentally maimed themselves, or been treated to an ego-shattering prank by one of the upper-classmen; each situation causing them to run to the extremely recognizable Head Girl for help. Curiously, James was often no where to be found when these emergencies occurred. Those had been the few times during her week when she wasn't sleeping or in the bathroom that he wasn't buzzing somewhere around her.

In addition to that, Lily had her own classes to contend with along with the extremely unorthodox treatment she was receiving from her long term enemies. Needless to say, she was thrilled to have a day to hide in her dormitory, catch up on reading and homework, and perhaps waste a few hours watching a frivolous movie before her date. She had even decided to forego Charms club, just for the extra time to herself. Unfortunately for her, the Marauders had very different ideas about how she should spend her Saturday.

She stepped out of the bathroom wearing a pair of jeans and a blue paisley blouse with no other thought in her mind than heading downstairs for a quick breakfast and found no less than all four Marauders waiting for her on the landing. Involuntarily, she let out a surprised yell and fell back against the bathroom door. She couldn't help noticing that James had his broomstick hooked easily over her shoulder and felt a definite prickle of alarm that took her back to her near-death experience of third year. With a hand to her chest, she glared at them and asked, "What are you lot doing here?"

Ignoring her obvious discomfiture, Sirius and Remus were suddenly beside her, grasping both of her elbows and propelling her forward with identical mischievous grins. "Hey there, Evans. How'd you feel about a nice breakfast?"

"Need to keep your strength up, Lily," Remus announced with a cheerful wink. "We've got a busy day ahead of us."

She tried to dig in her heels, but was simply lifted by her honorary guard until she began walking once more. Peter turned to shoot her an amused look and said, "Come on, Lily. We can't leave you sulking in your room on such a beautiful day."

"What are friends for?" James piped up from behind her.

"Based on this morning they're apparently for jumping you outside the bathroom and carting you off to Godric-knows-where against your will," she replied dryly, shooting a suspicious glance over her shoulder.

"Don't be so dramatic, Lily," Remus chuckled with a smile, pushing her ahead of him so they could file up the spiral staircase after her. She waited beside Peter for the rest of them to emerge from the lion's mouth and was able to proceed to the Great Hall unescorted for her acquiescence.

"Really, guys, what are we doing?" she laughed as they took their seats at the Griffindor table.

"_Eating_, Evans," Sirius volunteered in a cheeky way that reminded her of James' explanation of a piano at the beginning of the week. "It involves food, plates, and quite often silverware. If you need help, I'll be glad to assist you."

She rolled her eyes at him and said, "Ha, ha, Black. What do you guys have in mind for _after_ breakfast? What do I need to get my strength up for? You're not going to make me wrestle a troll or anything like that, are you?"

"Like Remus said earlier, don't be so dramatic, Lily. The lads and I just thought it would be a good idea to spend some time with you before our date. We have a nice, full afternoon of ordinary activities planned to help us all get to know each other better," James told her kindly as he dug his spoon into a heaping bowl of scrambled eggs.

Picking up a fork, Lily felt her cheeks heat. "After the twelve-day streaking dare you guys hosted during last year, I feel like I know you all a little too well."

She was met by four identical, unabashed grins and had to concentrate harder on her breakfast to make sure her face didn't burst into flame. Sirius finally took pity on her. "That was more of a school-wide bonding experience. _We_ want to get to know _you_, Evans."

"In a way that won't make your eyes bleed," James added.

"And we'll do our best to keep all our clothes on," Remus joked seriously, causing Peter to snort into his cereal bowl.

"Well, that's a relief," she replied sarcastically, sending a pleading look in James' direction. All he could offer her was a friendly smile as he continued his breakfast. A debate quickly sprang up around them about the previous year's dare.

"I'm telling you, _I won_, Padfoot," Remus insisted stubbornly. "Thirty-two streaks in twelve days with no less than sixty witnesses means I beat you out by fifteen points."

Sirius was already shaking his head and shot a beseeching look at James. "No. _No_. Because I got extra points for doing it in front of Madam Pomfrey and Professor Sprout. Don't be a sore-loser, Moony, old boy."

"Poppy doesn't count! She's seen all of us undressed more often than Snape showers in a year!" Remus argued heatedly. "And besides, we decided Pomona only counted for five points because she laughed."

"It was ten," Peter put in meekly, "and she pointed."

"Guys, none of this matter because I _definitely_ won," James interrupted. "Moony, you might have had more witnesses, but Dumbledore _and_ McGonagall _and _Filch saw me. Remember? I almost got expelled."

"Riiiiight..." Remus sighed. Thankfully for Lily, who was sure she didn't want to hear any of this, a majestic snowy owl alighted on the table between them and rubbed his head against James' hand.

"Hey there, Ptolemy," James greeted the bird in a friendly way, taking two heavy envelopes from his beak and offering him some of Peter's toast _(Hey! That's mine, Prongs!_). He passed one of the notes to Sirius before ripping his open and scanning the page.

"Huh, never thought mum would be alarmed by _not_ receiving complaints about us," Sirius remarked casually as he read his own letter.

"She's afraid I'm trying to live up to being Head Boy and not staying true to myself," James read humorously. "Dad wrote a contradiction under almost every line!"

"Bless your mum, Prongs, she's just looking out for her boys," Remus teased.

Lily could only gape at them, aghast at the idea that Mrs. Potter would be concerned for the two boys _not _getting into trouble. Then again, if James' mother knew the boys half as well as she did, it was quite possible that she understood no news was not good news. Not by a long shot.

At long last, everyone was full and ready to go out into the glorious autumn sunshine. It didn't take too long for Lily to work out that they were headed toward the quidditch pitch and she started dragging her feet a little, hoping futilely to herself that maybe they were taking her there for James to show off his flying abilities. Noticing her lagging behind, Peter grabbed her arm and propelled her forward. They reached the equipment shed in time for her to see Remus deftly picking the lock while Sirius disarmed the magical ward.

"Aren't you quidditch captain, James? Don't you have a key for that?" she asked, all the time wondering if she should be seeing this.

James rumpled his hair and grinned at her. "Where's the fun in that?"

"You gonna turn us in?" Sirius laughed brazenly as he chose a broomstick out of the shed and tossed it to her. She caught it clumsily and hugged it against her chest, feeling slightly queazy at the prospect of being in charge of her own broom.

She'd only been airborne twice in her life and each time had nearly died. The first instance had been during first year's lessons. Originally, she hadn't even been able to get the broom to rise until James had reluctantly whispered some helpful instructions. Stomach lurching, she had been able to hover several feet off the ground, until Sirius shot past her and caused her to pull back and fly nearly fifty feet into the air. Madam Hooch had been forced to come retrieve her and Lily had promised herself never to mount another broomstick in her life. She had kept that promise until two years later when she was faced with the loss of a stuffed bear her sister had given her as a birthday present. That time she had been completely unable to command the broom and had only survived the fall from the Astronomy Tower by James's quick thinking and deft flying.

Reluctantly, she followed the group out onto the quidditch pitch, feeling very small and very nervous. While Remus and Sirius took to the air, Peter moved over to watch on the stands and James took his place beside her. "Why isn't Pettigrew flying?"

James gave her an understanding smile and said, "Who, Peter? He hates flying. Now, what you need to do is-"

"I hate flying too, so why do I have to do this?" she interrupted pleadingly.

"We already told you: it's a bonding experience," James explained patiently. "Now, you can set down your broom and come over here. I'll give you some pointers."

She was given little choice as he caught her hand and pulled her over, helping her step astride his broom and taking his place behind her. She felt her stomach jump a little as her back brushed his chest and his arms came around her to hold the broom steady. "Now, I understand you're afraid of heights, but that's probably the reason you have so much trouble with this. A broomstick is kinda like a hippogriff, so it can sense when you're scared. All I want you to do right now is to close your eyes, relax, and take a few deep breaths."

She started to follow his instructions, but quickly spun to look at him nervously when he adjusted his stance. "You're not going to take me up while my eyes are closed, are you?"

James, who had been planning to do something exactly like that, shook his head and smiled at her panicked look. "I wouldn't dream of it. Now just relax and breathe. Turn around."

Uncertainly, she did as he instructed, working to calm herself as she took in slow, deep breaths. "Good, love," James murmured in her ear, stirring her hair with his breath and making her cheeks heat slightly. Gently, he slid his hands back, covering her own and adjusting her grip. "All right, Lily, we're just going to hover now. Right at standing height. We won't go any higher than this until you're ready."

Instantly, her grip tightened and she squeezed her eyes shut. He kicked off the ground and her stomach seemed to drop away with the gravity. James could feel her shaking like a leaf and he instructed her to open her eyes. Reluctantly, she peered out through her lashes to find, true to his word, they were hovering about four feet off the ground.

"See? Is this so terrible?" he asked in an amused tone.

"Stop laughing at me, James," she murmured crankily. "I want to get down now."

Immediately, the ground came up under her feet again and she stumbled, caught up by James' strong arm around her waist. "Are you all right?"

"I think I've had enough for today," she panted, feeling inexplicably weary and desperately trying to disentangle herself from James' arms and broomstick.

"Oi! James!" Remus called impatiently. "I thought we were gonna play quidditch, not kiss chase. What's the hold up?"

Sirius darted toward his friend with a maniacal grin on his face. "What's wrong, Moony? You don't want to play kiss chase with me?"

"You're mental!" Peter shouted from the stands. "You know he's got his eye on your cousin!"

"Do not!" Remus cried, doing his best to outmaneuver Sirius.

"Don't deny it, Moony!" James called, wanting in on the fun. "Cissy is quite a catch!"

"If you close your eyes," Peter added.

"And don't mind her being a bitch," Lily mused, causing James to grin at her. "Why don't you go play quidditch for a while and I'll watch?"

James shook his head sadly. "No, you'll probably take the opportunity to sneak off and, despite the fact that he kicked your ass in Defense the other day, I don't have a lot of confidence in Peter being able to stop you. Besides, without you, it's uneven teams. Why don't we just head off to the next activity?"

"Is it illegal?" she asked wryly.

"Not that I know of... is stealing from a teacher against school rules?" he asked innocently. She tried not to smile as she slapped her hand against his gut. "Kidding, kidding. We'll settle for something legal _and_ scholastically acceptable. I daresay you might even enjoy it. How's that?"

With some misgivings, she agreed and James called the other boys down. While Remus and Sirius put the equipment shed back in order, James sent his broomstick back to the dorm room. They set off in the direction of the Forbidden Forest and Lily's apprehension returned despite James' reassurances of the propriety of their plans.

Carelessly, Sirius came up beside her and threw his arm around her shoulders. "How was your flying lesson, Evans? A bit better than your first?"

"It was fine," she choked uncomfortably, heat rising to her cheeks as she felt the phantom warmth and security afforded by James' confident voice and strong arms around her. "We wouldn't by any chance be going to the Forbidden Forest, would we?"

Remus linked his arm through hers and tugged her out of Sirius' cloying grip. "Did Prongs already tell you?"

"No, Remus I'm just _that _clever and I figured it out all on my own," she replied sarcastically, shooting a deathly glare at James. "You know, guys, it's called the _Forbidden_ Forest for a reason."

"Well it wasn't always _**Forbidden**_," James announced airily. "But it's kind of a mouthful to call it the Forest-We-Advise-You-To-Stay-Out-Of-But-If-You-Don't-Have-The-Good-Sense-Not-To-Then-Never-Mind. _Forbidden_ is just so much more succinct."

"Besides," Peter piped up reassuringly, "there's nothing for you to worry about so long as we're there."

"And we promised to help Hagrid, so it's not exactly against the rules," James added pointedly. The arrived at the Groundskeeper's hut and Lily was relieved to find that the great, hairy man was actually waiting for them, an enormous crossbow setting across his knees as he sat on the front porch.

"All righ', you lot?" he called in greeting, his great, bearded face cracking into a grin as he heaved himself to his enormous feet.

"Hello, Hagrid," James returned pleasantly. "How are you doing today?"

The giant man and young boys shared a look, as though laughing at some private joke. "Well, I'm doin' jus' fine, James. I'm ready t' get started."

"Sorry we were late, Hagrid," Remus apologized sincerely. "We're ready if you are."

"I'd still like to know what we're doing," Lily volunteered awkwardly.

Hagrid's bushy eyebrows swept up under his wiry mane. "You mean you lot didn' tell her-"

"We're going to assist in a centaur birthing, "Sirius announced excitedly. "Hope you're okay with blood..."

Lily stared at them all like they were mad, even as James caught her hand and pulled her into the shadows of the woods. Apparently, Hagrid was occasionally called upon to help the secretive clan, keeping any other animals at bay who might be interested in the foal or mother as a quick lunch. Her heart fluttering with fear, Lily clung tightly to James's hand while he led her down the dark, twisting rabbit trails of the forest, missing the amused glances being shared by the four friends at her response.

"We should've brought her here earlier, mate," Sirius muttered in a low voice for James's ears only, drawing a huge grin from his best friend.

After some time, they reached a small clearing beside a rocky stream. They could see three female centaurs in the shadows of the trees, one with light blonde hair and bright blue eyes was sweating profusely and pawing at the ground, biting down in order to avoid crying out. A large male with red hair melted out of the gloom and approached Hagrid gravely.

"Welcome, friend Hagrid, and to you young men," he greeted thoughtfully, gazing sagely at the four boys with a curious familiarity. After a moment, he turned to Lily and his eyes widened the barest fraction. She felt uncomfortable being stared down by those ageless eyes, but did her best to meet his gaze boldly. "You have brought many helpers tonight, Hagrid."

"The werewolves've been a mite restless lately, Ronin. Better safe than sorry, I always say," Hagrid replied by way of explanation. The enormous centaur merely blinked at him before turning away. He cantered slowly back to the group and Hagrid turned to give them their orders. They were to stay in pairs and circle the area, careful to stay out of the birthing clearing. Stun anything big enough to bite and send up sparks if there's a problem.

James tugged on Lily's hand, nodding her in the direction they were to go and she hugged in close behind him as they were swallowed by the trees. After a few minutes of silence, Lily eased her grip on his arm and he smiled smugly at her. "See what I did there? I took something that's technically against the rules and made it appropriate by getting permission to go with Hagrid."

"My, aren't you clever?" Lily praised sarcastically. "Was it just my imagination, or did that centaur seem to know you?"

"It was your imagination," he told her quickly.

"Right." She jumped as there was a sudden snapping sound to their left, dropping her wand in surprise. Fortunately, James had his own out and pushed her gently behind him as he turned to face the quivering bush. With a bark of delight, the stray dog from the summer burst through the foliage, launching himself jubilantly at James's wand as though it was a stick he had been sent to fetch.

"Can't take anything serious, can we?" James murmured as he pulled the wand out of reach and patted the dog's head fondly. Obligingly, the hulking animal scooped up Lily's wand and trotted toward her, sitting and wagging his tail while he waited for her to take it.

"Thank you, Snuffles," she said with a smile, wiping the damp, dirty wand on her jeans while the dog panted happily. Once it was clean, she knelt in the soil and scratched him vigorously, laughing when he rolled over on his back for a belly rub. "How did he get here?"

James, who was staring at the animal with a curious mixture of amusement and disgust, shrugged vaguely. "Oh, some animals just-"

Another crackling noise sounded just ahead of them and the trio froze as a creature on all fours emerged carefully from the cover of the leaves. Lily gaped in surprise as a filthy man with long, ratty hair stared at James with hateful yellow eyes and bared his teeth menacingly. Wand out, James shot a stream of bright yellow light at him and he yelped before running away. The dog, who had been standing protectively in front of her, let out a sharp bark and took off after him.

"What on earth?" Lily breathed quietly as James stood carefully looking around a moment longer, then held out a hand to help her up.

"Werewolf. There's a clan of them in the Forest and they've pretty much gone feral," James explained quietly, looking unaccountably angry. "Though they're people just like everyone else, the Ministry doesn't give them equal rights. It's the same with centaurs and giants and any number of half-humans and humanoids. It's why so many of them hide out away from wizards. Dumbledore gave this clan permission to stay in the forest, but they've been squatting here for centuries."

Lily felt sick at what she'd just witnessed and gripped James's hand tighter. Seeing her distress, he rubbed his thumb across the back of his hand and tried to smile. "It's not fair, but it's the way they've always done it, so most wizards don't see a problem treating werewolves like common animals. If it weren't for the prejudiced nonsense the Ministry puts out all the time, we could find a cure for them, but most people are too worried about their own safety to concern themselves with how it affects those that have been bitten."

"It's really hard to believe there are problems in the Ministry just like every other government," Lily admitted sadly. She watched him for a moment, debating. "I've read there are some people who want to make it even harder for werewolves to integrate in society."

James's jaw tightened, but he refrained from commenting. "We should probably start moving again."

Three hours and six showdowns with deadly creatures from the Forbidden Forest later, the five young people emerged from the shadow of the forest and walked up the grassy hill to the castle. The sun was already sinking low over the horizon and Lily wasn't quite sure how she'd make it through dinner.

"I can't believe I'm still starving after all that blood," Lily groaned as they headed for a wash in their dormitories before the inevitable date in Hogsmede. "Why did the unicorns hate Remus so much?"

Lily was making sure to watch them out of the corner of her eye and, for a moment, it seemed as if all four boys paused, but they continued on after an instant. Remus gave her his most charming smile and reached up to scratch behind his ear. "I'm just not very good with animals, I guess."

"Not everyone can be as loveable as me," Sirius added cheekily as they reached the Entrance Hall. "You two have fun tonight, okay?"

"Try to bring him back in one piece," Remus added kindly as they turned for the staircase.

Peter laughed and patted her on the shoulder. "Or a nice bag or something. Just so we have all the parts in one place."

Lily laughed and nodded as they went their separate ways, eager to get out of their filthy clothes. She couldn't believe the day she'd had with these four boys who, up until recently, had been her mortal enemies. They were each unique and charming in their own way and she was finding it increasingly difficult to not like them.

"Why don't you take the shower first?" James offered gallantly as they gained their common room. "You're the one who accidentally stepped on the _mimbulus_ _mimbletonia_."

"And I _smell_ wonderful," Lily added gleefully.

James smiled as she headed toward the bathroom. "Yes you do. Can you be ready in an hour?"

She stopped and turned in the doorway. "That depends on how nice you want me to look."

"What are my choices?"

Raising an eyebrow she replied, "Well, you can have, Wow, that's nice, Oh my god, I've never seen anyone so beautiful, or Holy shit, let's stay here."

"I'm feeling all of those right now," he told her brazenly.

Lily giggled uncomfortably and went into the bathroom. "I'll stick with Wow, that's nice."

"It's your loss!" he called as she shut and locked the door.

"Either way, you're the one who's regretting it!" Lily shouted back as she stripped for the shower, leaving her clothes in a messy heap in the middle of the bathroom. For some reason it made her feel awkward to think of James romantically. She'd had crushes and gone on dates with a few boys from school, but those had been short-lived. Unimportant. Somehow, James's attention was different. Frightening.

Something rose up inside her, fearfully rejecting the lingering warmth of his gaze as she stepped under the hot shower. She scrubbed her hair and skin ruthlessly, as though she could wash away the discomfort. She was feeling less than enthusiastic by the time she got out of the shower and hurried to her bedroom in a towel. Even still, she dried and curled her hair with her wand and donned a soft, short-sleeved green wrap dress. Nervously, she clasped a round silver locket engraved with two lilies around her neck and surveyed the effect. Her father had given her the necklace for her thirteenth birthday and it gave her a small amount of courage. Courage that quickly evaporated when James tapped on the door.

She smiled at him nervously as she opened the door and he took his time looking her up and down before shaking his head sadly. "You missed the mark, love. That's definitely a Holy shit, let's stay here look," he told her quietly, reaching for her waist as he gently pushed her back into the room.

"If you want to waste your only chance at a date with me getting kicked in the bollocks, keep going," Lily warned with a laugh, easily overpowering him and moving out onto the landing.

James followed her eagerly, waiting until they had gotten to the main hall to pull her to a stop. He dangled a slip of black fabric in front of her that she thought were her knickers for a minute, until she realized it looked more like blindfold. She glanced up at him skeptically and said, "I am _not_ wearing that, James."

"Do I need to remind you of the terms of this date?" he asked patiently.

Lily sighed and allowed him to put on the blindfold. After staring at her from all angles, he waved his hand in front of her face to make sure she wasn't peeking and she giggled, sensing the movement. He then pulled out an old bit of parchment, tapped it with his wand, and took her hand. He led her carefully through the building out onto the grounds. Nervously clinging to his arm, Lily asked, "So why do I need to wear a blindfold when I know we're going to Hogsmede?"

"It's a surprise," James's voice sounded through the darkness. "We're gonna take a few steps down now."

Lily let out a small scream as the ground disappeared under her foot, but James's hands were there to help her as he led her down. "It's a little low here," he said apologetically, putting a hand on her head so she wouldn't bump it.

They walked for quite some time with Lily asking questions all along the way and James giving vague, uninformative answers. She couldn't help laughing as she tried to guess why he was being so secretive. "Are you taking me to your lair?"

"Something like that," James laughed. "Okay, we're gonna be stepping up here."

He took both of her hands and helped her up. Holding her by the arms, he moved around behind her and said, "All right, now stand still."

Lily remained obediently stationary as he gently worked the knot at the back of her head. She could hear the sound of wood creaking around her, which clearly meant they were inside somewhere. As the fabric slipped from her eyes, she stared around in surprise at what appeared to be the front parlour of an abandoned house. She could see by the golden light of a host of floating candles that every stitch of furniture had been smashed, all the windows were boarded up, and a blanket and basket were laid out on the floor.

"Please tell me we're not where I think we are," Lily begged anxiously, take a step closer to him as she looked around.

James grinned, looking around and reaching up to rumple his hair. "Okay, I won't. Would you like some cheese?"

"We're in the Shrieking Shack, James! You do not take a girl on your first date to the most haunted house in Britain unless you're mad or incredibly stupid," she told him in a panicked voice.

"You forgot some kind of evil genius," he reminded her quietly, moving to put his arms around her waist. "Now, I've had a word with the ghosts and they've agreed to clear out for the night. They won't bother us so long as we stay in this room. So as long as you're close to me and behave yourself, we can have a nice, friendly meal together."

Anxiously, Lily sat, glancing around uncomfortably as her mind whirled with all she had ever heard or read about the shack. None of it was good. Seeming completely unconcerned, James was setting out plates and food for their dinner. After watching him for a minute, she couldn't stop herself from asking, "How can you just sit there? This could be _dangerous, _James."

"We're not in any danger, Lily," he assured her patiently, holding her gaze. "Just trust me."

Lily sighed, twisting her hands in her lap. "It's been a big day, James. I'm about tapped out on my trust factor."

"Just do it," he told her with a laugh, reaching up to brush his fingers across her cheek. When she stared at him nervously, he tried another tactic. "Okay. Close your eyes... now, forget where you are. You're just in an old house. It's creepy, but there's no danger. You have a strong, handsome, competent man with you who is watching out for you. There is no such thing as ghosts. The place is abandoned and everything inside has been smashed by vandals. It's just a rainy day in a sad, lonely house. How do you feel?"

Lily sighed, opened her eyes, and smiled at him. "Better."

"Cheese?" he offered once more. She accepted with a smile and was able to forget where she was for a very short time. A loud crash in the next room caused her to gasp and drop her plate. She turned to James with wide eyes and he smiled soothingly. "It's just the wind."

She shut her eyes, willing her heart to stop pounding so hard. "The windows are boarded up," she whispered faintly.

"Yeah, but the cracks are big enough to fly a dragon through," James laughed easily. He reached out and took her hand, causing her eyes to fly open. "Lily, just relax. Nothing's going to happen outside of dinner."

"That's easy for you to say. I have to get through an entire dinner being nice to you while surrounded by angry ghosts, and then I have to kiss you!" she explained wryly.

James raised an eyebrow at her over his roasted chicken and said, "Well, we could always practice that part now if you're nervous about it."

She put a hand on his chest to stop him from leaning forward and said, "I don't think so. I'm still not convinced that wasn't your friends dropping something in the next room."

"Not ghosts?" he asked in surprise.

She stared through him in surprise for a moment as she had a sudden epiphany. When she finally replied, her voice was thoughtful. "No, James, not ghosts. You know, as far as I can recall, the stories about the Shrieking Shack didn't pick up until halfway through our first year. Do you think it might have just been a cover for something else?"

James laughed nervously and reached up to rumple his hair. "No, there were stories flying around when my parents went to school here nearly forty years ago."

Lily grinned, reading his guilty tell, and asked, "So how did you get the ghosts to leave us alone tonight?"

"What is this all about, Lily?" he asked defensively. "I just thought it would be memorable to come here."

"So you wanted to base our first date on a lie?" Lily asked angrily, responding to the change in his tone.

"Well with the way you've been acting like there won't ever be another, it doesn't really matter, does it?" he asked heatedly.

She stared at him for a furious second before looking back at her plate. "I know about Remus," she announced quietly before staring up at his impassive face. "I'm not stupid, James. He just happens to get sick and have family emergencies around every new moon? That's a little too improbable, even for me."

"I don't know what you're talking about," James replied stiffly, avoiding her gaze.

"Just stop pretending, James. You didn't think I'd notice that I had to do my rounds alone once a month when for the past two years?" Lily insisted.

He finally looked up at her and said in a low voice, "You never did your rounds alone."

"What does that mean?" Lily set down her food and stared at him. He returned her gaze in stony silence and she resolutely stood up and brushed off her dress. "I'm done. Take me home. I know I'm not one of the guys, but if you want to say that you love me, then you have to trust me. We can try this again when you stop treating me like I'm an idiot."

She turned to go back the way they had come and found only a hole in the floor. As she dropped through the opening, James went into action. Sprinting after her, he called, "Lily, wait!"

Inside the narrow passageway, she spun and crossed her arms over her chest. "What, James? Are you going to insult my intelligence some more?"

James searched her face anxiously before sighing and rubbing the back of his neck. "I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"The truth?"

He stared into her eyes earnestly and said, "Absolutely."

"Is Remus a werewolf?"

"Yes."

"Was there any hidden motives behind tonight? Was it meant as any form of prank?"

"No."

"Did you steal that food from the kitchens?"

"Yes."

"Are you in love with me?"

"Yes."

"How do you know?" Lily asked quietly.

James laughed and looked down. "Because you drive me nuts. You are the most infuriating, irrational girl I have ever met. You make me so angry when I'm around you that I can't think straight, but I still want to be with you all the time. I still think about you _all_ _the_ _time_. Unless I'm completely insane, this has to be love."

When he finally looked up, she was smiling at him gently. "Thank you, James."

She turned and continued down the tunnel. After a moment, James followed slowly behind her. They didn't talk or touch the entire way back to the castle. Lily was lost in her own thoughts. Something was still bothering her. She knew that the boys would feel strongly about Remus's affliction, but how far would they go to help him out? It was a question that she had a sneaking suspicion she knew the answer to, and the answer made her feel sick with dread. As they reached their dormitory, Lily started dragging her feet a little.

"So, it's only been an hour," she pointed out thoughtfully. When James simply nodded, she pressed on. "The deal was for a minimum of two hours. And I was supposed to be nice."

They reached the top landing and James turned to look at her with a smile. "That's right."

"So, what are the grave consequences? Another date?" she asked quietly. James smiled and speared a hand through her hair, leaning down to kiss her lingeringly. His head swam as she returned the kiss, reaching up to catch hold of his shirt and pull him closer. In that moment, Lily forgot who she was and allowed herself to enjoy the embrace as he tentatively slipped his tongue between her lips, teasing her gently. Lily let out a soft purr of pleasure that sent a wave of shock through his stomach.

Reluctantly, James broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against hers and panting lightly. "Sorry, love. I told you the consequences would be dire. You're going to have to go out with me again _and_ come to my next quidditch game."

"That's not fair," Lily told him with a smile.

"Keep it up, and it'll be much worse."


	7. A whole mess of consequences

The next day, Lily checked repeatedly to make sure James would be at quidditch practice all afternoon before going to find Alice to discuss the recent events. She caught up with her in the Great Hall and practically dragged her out of the room to the Head's dormitory. The blonde girl laughed at her when she refused to speak and shushed her every time she opened her mouth until they were inside her bedroom with the door closed, locked and magically sealed behind them.

"A bit of an overkill, isn't it?" Alice finally asked when Lily was finished. The taller girl groaned as she walked past her and fell face down on the bed. Alice bounced beside her and tilted her head to the side. "What's the matter, Lily? You didn't have a good date?"

Her friend rolled over and looked up at the ceiling. "Actually, it wasn't terrible so far as dates go. He took me to the Shrieking Shack-"

"He what?!?" Alice practically screamed in surprise.

Lily nodded, understanding her friend's alarm. "He said he'd fixed it with the ghosts so they wouldn't bother us. Then we ate, we got into a bit of a fight, talked, and he brought me back. It was pretty unremarkable, especially considering who he is. Only now he's saying that I ruined the first date, so we have to go on a second _and_ I have to go to one of his quidditch matches."

"Well, that's not too bad, really. I don't see what you're all upset about," Alice replied reasonably. "In fact, it could've been much worse. How was the goodnight kiss?"

Against her will, Lily felt her face heat and she squeezed her eyes shut, as though she could somehow deny Alice seeing her vibrant blush if she couldn't see the response her friend gave, which was a smug grin. "It was nice," she answered in a small voice. Alice let out a shrill squeal and hugged her friend excitedly, causing Lily to groan and roll away from her. "Stop being excited! It was just a kiss. He's very good at it, but only because he's had so much practice."

"You fancy him, don't you?" Alice asked eagerly, her round face shining with pleasure.

"No. _No, _I don't fancy him," Lily denied hotly. Alice pinned her with a knowing look and she dropped her eyes to her hands. "I don't, Alice."

"Maybe you can fool yourself, Lily, but you haven't complained about James since the first day of school, and _that's_ saying something. Time was that you couldn't go more than a few hours without telling me how awful he is and how much you hate him," she reminded her smugly. "And now you've gone on a date and worked it out so you'll have another!"

"I didn't _work it out_, Alice," Lily told her instantly. "The only reason there is another date is because he's so insufferable!"

Her friend gave her a piercing stare and waved her hand dismissively. "Right. Where's he taking you next?"

"No idea," she replied blandly, staring at the wall. Suddenly, her eyes narrowed and she stood up, reaching for her wand. "Did you see that?"

Alice cast her eyes around the room in confusion before looking at her. "What?"

"Nothing, I guess. I just thought I saw something move. Never mind. Why don't we go to the library, yeah?" she asked distractedly. "I've got some homework to do."

The two girls loaded up with books, parchment, and quills and headed for the library. They picked up Frank, who had been loitering casually in the Entrance Hall, on the way and moved into the library to find Remus scribbling furiously away at his Transfiguration homework while Sirius made paper airplanes and directed them toward the heads of various students working diligently around the room. The group sat at the next table over after being cheerfully hailed by the two young men and got down to business. They had only been studying for a few minutes when Peter came in, closely followed by a smaller version of himself. "Padfoot, I'm begging you, make her stop."

"Sirius, make her stop," the mini-Peter whined.

Chuckling appreciatively, Sirius shrugged at his friend. "What am I supposed to do, mate? I have no power over her."

Peter collapsed into the seat next to him and glared as his double sat next to Remus across the table. Careful to keep his head down, Remus couldn't help the slow smile that crept onto his face as the imposter Peter did her best to mimic every tic of his displeasure. "I don't care what you do, just make her stop."

"It's no use, mate," Sirius repeated solidly. "Watch this. Oi, Nymphadora. Leave off him, all right?"

The second Peter's hair went from blonde to bright red as she glared at him spitefully. "I'll kill you for that, Sirius," she promised in a dangerous, much more feminine voice.

She was about to go over the table with her wand when Remus stuck his arm out, caught her around the waist, and smiled winningly at the younger girl. "Just forget it, Tonks. Don't let them get to you. You make a great Peter, by the way."

In a flash, the girl's disguise melted and she became a thin, awkward-looking girl with pink eyes and green, spiky hair. She smiled at Remus before glaring at the other two boys and standing to leave. Remus went back to his essay with a smug smile after glancing up at his friends and muttering, "You two just don't know how to handle girls."

"Yeah, like being nice," Tonks called out peevishly. Sirius made a growling noise at the challenge and lunged at his cousin, only to have Madam Pince give him a deathly glare that sent him back to his seat.

"So when's the next date?" Sirius suddenly shot at Lily, who looked at him impassively before returning to her book.

"You'd probably know better than me, Sirius. Or perhaps Peter knows. He's always so useful at gathering intelligence," she replied significantly, staring pointedly at the rotund boy, who shifted uncomfortably.

"Don't be unfriendly, Lily. You'll get us kicked out if they start fighting," Alice warned in a low voice.

Lily shrugged, trailing her finger down her book before scratching a passage on the parchment. "Maybe I don't mind getting into a fight today."

"Lily, you're _Head_ _Girl_, you need to mind about getting into a fight," Alice insisted promptly. Frank watched the redhead for a moment before returning to his own essay, hoping fervently to stay out of whatever was brewing.

"You're not untouchable just because Prongs is in love with you, Evans," Sirius interjected darkly, twirling his wand between his fingers as he watched her intently.

Lily gave him a look of cool indifference and asked, "Is that right, _Padfoot_?"

For some reason, her use of his nickname made him angry and he pushed himself up from the table, ignoring Remus's quiet warning to leave it. Peter was watching Lily with a look of anxious distaste. Sirius came around to stand behind her and leaned down menacingly. "If you have a problem, Evans, I suggest we go take care of it away from prying eyes."

Lily snapped her book shut and was about to give Sirius a piece of her mind when he suddenly pitched forward, his legs wobbling furiously. He caught hold of the table and turned to glare around, but couldn't see who had hit him with the Jelly-Legs Jinx. Unwittingly, both tables burst into muffled giggles and Sirius glared at them all until a grudging smile tugged at his handsome mouth. Lily performed the counter-jinx after helping him take a seat and he grinned up at her. "Sorry about that. I've got a bit of a temper."

"And I was being a bitch," she added pleasantly. "Don't worry about it, Sirius. I know you're a good boy at heart."

Sirius's smile became a bit fixed and he tilted his head to the side at the odd compliment. "Thanks, Lily. What's your homework?"

"Transfiguration just like you guys. How'd you get yours done already?" she asked in mock-irritation.

The three friends shared a smile before Peter answered, "Sirius isn't doing his homework this year. He wants to see how little actual classwork he can do and still get good marks on the NEWTs."

"Going about it a little backwards, aren't you, mate?" Frank asked with a smile, relieved that the tense situation had been diffused.

"Well it's no fun trying to go at it the other way, is it?" Sirius replied with a grin. "I'm not gonna kill myself over the NEWTs when I don't have to. My uncle left me a fair bit of gold in his will, so it won't really bother me to fail everything. I don't need a job."

"Must be nice to be rich," Alice sighed, measuring her essay despondently.

"Fancy meeting you all here," James piped up from behind them. His hair was wet from a shower and he had his satchel slung easily over his shoulder. He gave Lily a wink before Sirius caught his eye with a look that clearly said they needed to talk. Without missing a beat, he made up an excuse about finding a book and the two boys shot off between the shelves.

"What did you tell her?" Sirius whispered furiously as the privacy of the shelves closed around them.

James watched with cool eyes as Severus Snape moved by with his greasy nose stuck into a book before answering. "What are you talking about?"

"She _knows_ something, mate," Sirius insisted vaguely. "She called me Padfoot and said something about Peter being a good spy."

"Lily doesn't know anything," James scoffed quickly, pulling down the necessary book before raising his eyebrows at his skeptical friend.

"If she was clever enough to figure out Moony, she's clever enough to figure out the rest of it," Sirius whispered urgently as James turned back toward the tables.

James stopped and put his hand on his shoulder. "Even if she knows, she's not going to do anything. I trust her, Padfoot."

"Just so long as you trusting her doesn't come back to bite the rest of us in the ass, Prongs," Sirius muttered sullenly as they joined their friends.

As the next few weeks progressed, it was nearly impossible to keep the new developments in Lily and James's relationship away from their peers at school. Most notable was that there were fewer screaming matches in classrooms and hallways, and, therefore, fewer trips to the hospital ward. Many students responded to the changes with confusion and amusement, but a surprising number regarded the rumor of the Head Boy and Girl's budding relationship with hostility.

Lily first noticed this when she went into the bathroom one day before Charms and three Ravenclaw girls in her year instantly stopped talking. She smiled at them before going into the stall and received stony glares in response. As Lily locked herself in, a girl named Marina Margrave announced in a loud voice, "Personally, _I_ don't see how some girls will just string boys along like that. It's despicable what _some_ people will do to get their hands on a fortune."

"Poor James, he's totally fooled," Ramona Twist added in a false voice. "Do you think he's under a spell?"

"Maybe it's the Imperius Curse," the last girl, who Lily didn't recognize, whispered meaningfully, causing her friends to gasp and titter scandalously.

Lily suddenly slammed open the stall door, causing the girls to jump along with the flush. She marched past them to wash her hands, but couldn't resist correcting them before leaving. "I'm a _muggle-_born. How d'you think I'd manage to become a Death Eater with dirty blood like mine?"

She heard the girls whispering furiously behind her, but was so angry that she didn't care. She stomped into class and threw her bag beside her desk, taking her seat and glaring resolutely out onto the hazy grounds. The room filled up with students and Flitwick called role and set them to work practicing Disillusionment Charms. Much to her chagrin, she was paired with Peter.

Lily had always been clever at charms. Indeed, she had never needed more than three tries at any spell in class, but she was so distracted, she couldn't properly concentrate on the charm. After twenty minutes, she had succeeded in giving Peter a pair of enormous antlers, engorged his bottom and nose to five times its regular size, caused a number of disgusting pustules to break out over his entire body, and transfigured him into a duck.

"Nice one, Evans," Sirius admired from her side when she tried to fix him and managed to make a pink paper umbrella bloom out of his nostril while he quacked indignantly. "I like the bit on the bill."

James quickly set his friend to rights before looking at Sirius. "Trade?"

"Why not?" the dark-haired boy agreed quickly. Remus laughed amusedly from his place beside a Hufflepuff as James did his best to help Lily, a first in all their years in charms.

"It's just like this," he demonstrated patiently, tapping her on the head with his wand. Instantly, she felt something cold begin dripping down her hair and she lifted her hands to find they were lightly pink, but for the most part changing to mimic whatever was around her. "Is anything wrong, love?"

Before she could answer, Flitwick bustled forward and clapped his hands in surprise. "Well done, Potter. You'll need to be a bit more careful about the color, but you've got the general gist of it."

He reversed the spell and gave them a few more pointers before shuffling off. After he was well away, Lily threw her wand down on the desk in disgust and stamped her foot. James opened his mouth to ask her what was wrong when she cried, "Exactly how rich are you, James?"

James took a moment to respond, reading the signs of her working herself into a fine rage that, for once, had nothing to do with him, before asking as carefully and inoffensively as he could manage, "Why?"

"Because _some_ people seem to think I'm after your money or trying to recruit you for You-Know-Who, and if that's going to be the case, I'd really like to understand what I'm being accused of," Lily replied angrily.

"Lily, you're not doing any of those things, so who cares? Who said that to you, anyway?" he asked off-handedly.

"Just answer the question, Potter!" she cried in a voice that was loud enough to catch the attention of several groups around them, many of whom wisely edged out of the line of fire.

Seeing there was no help for it, James took her arm and turned her to the window. "I'm rich times ten to the power of thirteen, okay? Now calm down by yourself, or I'll have to make you calm."

Lily gave him a murderous look and seriously considered punching him in the face, but held back with an enormous effort. She took several calming breaths, vaguely aware of him muttering something behind her, before she started feeling better. In fact, she was feeling great. She turned to James with an irrepressible grin and asked, "What did you do?"

He shrugged with a pleased smile before saying, "Why don't you try the charm again?"

She performed the spell perfectly after that, and was given fifteen points for Gryffindor before the bell rang. Everyone rushed for their books and James courteously scooped up Lily's bag and held it out to her. She beamed at him and accepted it before cheerfully moving on to lunch. She felt so good that she didn't mind the strange looks she was receiving from her fellow students as she chatted animatedly with all four Marauders. She laughed when Peter tripped over his robes and sent her sprawling underneath him. She giggled hysterically when Sirius fixed her bleeding nose, saying it tickled. They were halfway through Potions by the time Remus suggested something might be wrong.

They had been set with the task to make something impressive, so while Lily added ashwinder eggs to her cauldron and beamed like a fool at Professor Slughorn, Remus gave James a meaningful look and whispered, "Whatever you did, I want you to fix it. She keeps grinning at me. It's getting creepy."

"It'll wear off," James said off-handedly, wiggling his fingers at her when she caught his eye, beamed, and waved enthusiastically, though she was only sitting a few feet away. "It was just a Cheering Charm."

"James, you're my best mate and don't take this the wrong way, but you are _rubbish_ at Cheering Charms. You can never control the dose. Remember how Padfoot had to sit in the quiet room for five hours after you practiced on him?" Remus warned quietly.

James was about to reply when Lily bounced over to him, asking to borrow a bit of his ginger. He handed it over willingly and was rewarded with an ardent smile as she sailed back to her table. He looked up to find Remus giving him a pointed look. "I don't see anything wrong with her. It's not like she's giggling hysterically or anything."

At that moment, Lily emitted an ear-splitting peal of laughter, drawing the attention of every person in the room as Remus winced. James started flipping through his potions book, looking for the recipe for a Calming Draught. They were so distracted, they didn't even notice some of the other students whispering about them.

"I heard they've been meeting to shag in the third floor broom cupboard," Adrian Wilkes whispered with a sneer.

Lestrange's ugly face contorted into a grimace before replying, "It's disgusting how low blood traitors are willing to sink these days."

Snape, who was sitting at the next table, well within hearing distance, was slowly turning a darker and darker shade of red as he listened to this conversation. The boys continued listing the many and varied foul acts Evans and Potter had reportedly committed, unmindful of their companion's growing rage.

"All right class," Slughorn announced in his usual affable manner. "Place your potions in a vial and label it, I will reward the student who has most impressed me at the beginning of next class."

No one but Remus saw James fill two vials and pocket one before going to hand in his work. He knew it wouldn't be the most impressive potion, but at least it would work well enough to calm her. As everyone filed quickly out of the room, eager to leave the damp and cold, no one noticed Snape lagging behind.

Trying to slow Lily as she skipped up the stairs, he held out the draft and asked her to drink it. "It'll make you feel better."

"I feel fantastic, James," she giggled brightly, throwing her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. "Let's go! Defense is next!"

"Lily, drink it," Remus insisted with a casual smile. "James made it just for you."

She eyed the glass playfully before spinning around, hair fanning out behind her as she skipped up the steps. "I don't want to!" she sang.

"I guess we'll have to wait for a more opportune moment," James decided, trying to hide his enormous grin. As he moved to put the vial in his bag, he realized something was missing. "Hang on a second, Moony," he called as he started pulling out books. "I think I left my potions book downstairs. Go on ahead and I'll run and get it. Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. See you in class."

Remus waved at his retreating back and kept on towards the upper floors. James reached the dungeons and turned into the seemingly empty potions room to begin searching for his lost book. He had just stooped to check under the worktable when he heard someone come up behind him.

"It's all right, it's right here," he said pleasantly as he grabbed the book. Turning around, he heard someone mutter the word "_Crucio_" before he was hit by a wall of pain that threw him backwards onto the floor. His back arched and he felt like his skin was being pulled inside out by fiery hooks. With the agonizing curse blocking out every other sensation, he couldn't even remember how to scream.

Snape watched with bloodthirsty delight as his enemy lay on the ground twitching violently. This was his payback. This was for all of the years of torment; all of the pranks and cruel barbs about his hygiene and appearance and family. This was for ruining his relationship with Lily. Snape put all of his pent up rage behind the curse and felt almost euphoric as he watched Potter suffer.

All of a sudden, Snape's head was snapped back as Remus Lupin landed a punch across his nose, knocking him back with a spurt of blood. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he shouted, grabbing Snape by the lapel and slamming him into the wall. "He saves your miserable life and you bloody turn around and attack him?"

Remus was in a rage as he threw Severus across a table, knocking it over and causing his head to bounce against the floor with a resounding _smack_. When Snape didn't pick himself up, Remus balled his fists and moved to James' side. There was not a mark on his body, but he was unconscious and a cold sweat had broken out over his skin. Fiercely loyal and terrified of losing his best friend, Remus forced himself to focus and not go to pieces. Not yet, anyway. Remus gently pressed his wand to James' chest and muttered "_Enervate._" James let out a gasp then rolled onto his side retching.

"You okay, Prongs?" Remus asked, horrified.

"Moony?" James rasped as he tried to push himself up. "Where the hell am I?" He looked around vaguely at the fuzzy room before Lupin realized the problem and scooped up his discarded glasses.

"You're in the Potions Room, Prongs. Snape attacked you."

James worked to focus as Remus helped him into a sitting position, but the room was spinning around him. He rolled his eyes towards Snape's still form then coughed spasmodically. Somehow, it always seemed as though the somber young boy knew when he was needed. Remus had decided to go back to meet James after dropping Lily off at class. He couldn't bring himself to consider what could have happened if he hadn't returned.

"Up you get, Prongs," Remus told him as he struggled to help him stand. "We've gotta get you to the Hospital Wing." Remus fought to pull James up, then shoved his shoulder into his armpit in order to support him, dragging James's arm across his shoulders.

"No, Moony," James gasped as he struggled to maintain his balance. "I don't need to go see Poppy. I just need to lay down for a while."

Remus started to shake his head as he steered his friend toward the door. "Prongs, that was a Cruciatus Curse. You _need_ to go get checked out."

"_No_, Remus," James spat in a vicious voice, causing Remus to pause. Unless they were around other people, James never called him Remus. "I don't want to go to the hospital. Just take me to the dorm."

James had adopted a mulish look and Remus knew that if he tried to argue further, his friend would probably refuse his help and try to make it himself, leaving him no choice but to give in. He was finally able to half drag, half carry his friend up the stairs to lay him down on Sirius' bed in their old dormitory. By the time he had reached the room, James was exhausted, shaking violently and dripping with sweat. He muttered a sleeping incantation and James let out a sigh as he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

After class, the Cheering Charm was wearing off enough for Lily to get nervous. Other than a vague impression of Sirius and Peter rushing out just before class started, she had no idea where the Marauders could be. She had even gone so far as to peek into James's room, but couldn't see his book bag or anything indicating that he had been there since before breakfast. With an awful sensation that they were doing something against school rules she quickly made her way down into the dungeon after an anxious meal.

As Lily walked into the room, she was surprised to see a table knocked over and glass and ingredients littering the floor. It wasn't like the Marauders to be so messy. They usually didn't leave any indication that they had been there until the victim realized something was missing or had their noses engorged to twice the size of their heads after reading a cheerily worded note advising them to keep that particular appendage out of Marauder business. She stopped dead as she became conscious of someone lying on the floor next to the upended table.

Rushing over, she crouched down and was startled to find herself looking into the pale face of Severus Snape. His mouth was yawning open on one side and there was blood seeping from a gash at the back of his head. Pulling out her wand, she muttered "_Enervate_" then began gently tapping Severus' face as he came to.

"Severus, are you okay? It's me, Lily," she whispered in a slight panic.

Snape's dark eyes snapped open and he made a noise that sounded like a growl before a bright red light flung her backwards. He rose unsteadily and marched toward her, brandishing his wand. She cringed backwards, hand groping desperately for the wand she had dropped during his first attack. As though coming out of a trance, he suddenly stopped, glaring at her spitefully before turning away towards the door.

"Stay away from me you filthy mudblood," he sneered over his shoulder before exiting the room, slamming the door shut with a bang.

Lily sat on the floor for several minutes, trying to stop shaking as she realized her stomach and chest tingled with pain. Severus had hurt her. With startling clarity, she understood how someone could see Snape as an enemy. Suddenly, Lily realized that she was terribly exposed and alone there in the dark classroom and she began frantically searching the floor for her wand.

"_Lumos_," she whispered urgently, sighing in relief as a small beam of light penetrated the darkness on the other side of the table. She quickly ducked to retrieve it then beat a hasty retreat, desperate to get somewhere bright with people. She was practically running by the time she had gained the Entrance Hall and had to make herself slow to a casual walk, crossing her arms over her chest in an effort to hide the blood that was seeping through her sweater.

Once she gained the Head's common room she relaxed slightly. She knocked at James's door, but received no answer. Her heart was still thumping painfully in her chest, and she fought against the panic as she went into the bathroom to survey the damage. Her torso was riddled with finger-length cuts, but none of them were very deep. Drawing on what she had learned from her classes with Madam Pomfrey, she was able to heal the wounds and head back to her bedroom on unsteady feet.

James was still gone, but she had forgotten to worry about him after her ordeal. Staring around listlessly, she decided to change into her pajamas and begin the night's homework with the door locked. It felt like someone else was going about the mundane rituals of daily life for her while she watched from a distance. Numbly, she unearthed her teddy bear from third year and held it protectively in her lap like a ward against danger.

It was close to two hours later when she finally heard James slowly making his way up the stairs. Lily immediately jumped down from her bed and had her door opened by the time James had reached the landing. She had to stop herself from shouting at him. Instead, she leaned against the door jam with a caustic look, crossing her arms over her chest as he looked up with a wincing smile.

"You certainly look worse for wear," she said quietly, taking in his pale face and sweaty brow. "What were you up to all day?"

Surprisingly, he didn't have a witty retort and she followed him as he made his way to his bedroom before answering. Dropping his bag onto his bed, he sat down heavily and replied, "It doesn't matter. I need to get a shower and get some homework done, Lily. Why don't I catch up with you at breakfast tomorrow?"

Surprised and feeling a little vulnerable at the subtle brush off, Lily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Oh, okay. Sorry for taking your time," she apologized as she turned to the door.

James caught her wrist before she could leave. "Sorry, Lily, it's not that I don't want to talk, it's just that I have a lot to do."

She smiled though she felt awful. "It's fine James. I have some more homework to do as well."

"Okay then," he replied, holding her gaze suspiciously. "I'll see you in the morning."

Lily nodded and went to her room, working hard for the next few hours to forget Snape and finish her charms essay. By the time she started getting ready for bed, it was close to midnight. Turning off the light, Lily curled up around her pillow and closed her eyes. A creak in the corner of the room caused her to tense as her heart to begin to race. She slowly opened her eyes and scanned the room, but didn't see anything. She lay in rigid silence, holding her breath. Closing her eyes, she saw Severus' angry face as he bore down on her.

With a start, she shot up, gasping for breath as her heart pounded. Throwing back the covers, Lily quickly crossed the floor on bare feet and moved out onto the landing. She knocked quietly on James' door and heard a muffled grunt in reply. Easing the door open, Lily slipped inside before crossing quickly to the bed. James was lying on his side in the middle of the bed and she gently lifted the edge of the coverlet and slipped underneath, her heart still thumping wildly in her chest. Roused by the movement of the bed, James clutched his wand under his pillow before pushing himself up on his elbows.

"Can I sleep with you tonight, James?" Lily whispered as she sat stiffly on the side of the bed.

James relaxed and gave a sigh of relief, letting go of his wand and rolling over. "That's fine," he mumbled as he pulled the covers back farther for her to lie down. She nestled down on her side and he put his arm around her over the blanket, pulling her back against him.

"What's wrong?" he asked when she was finally settled.

"I just had a nightmare," she whispered back, closing her eyes and taking his hand. For some reason, her heart rate was returning to normal and her stomach didn't feel quite so tied up in painful knots. The cold chill she hadn't noticed before was also quickly ebbing in the places where their bodies touched and she pressed her icy feet against his shins to facilitate the thawing process. James didn't seem to mind.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently as he rubbed his thumb across her hand.

"No." She nestled farther against him and began to slowly relax. She soon drifted off to sleep, but James remained awake. He had never allowed himself to think about how nice it would be to hold her like this. She seemed to fit against him perfectly and he couldn't help but notice how soft she was and how nice she smelled. It was enough to drive all thoughts of Snape from his mind as he soon joined her in sleep.


	8. An inauspicious quidditch match

The sun crept slowly through the curtains the next morning while the two figures on the bed remained motionless. They had slept in the same position the whole night and neither stirred as the day began. It was some hours later when the door was thrown open with a loud "_bang!_" and Sirius Black strode into the room. Grabbing the blankets, he dragged them off the bed and threw them roughly to the floor with a loud, "Oi!" James jerked awake and Lily sat up, aiming her wand at Sirius's face.

"What time is it, Padfoot?" James asked groggily.

Sirius knocked Lily's wand impatiently out of his way before announcing buoyantly, "You've got a game in less than an hour, mate. No time to sleep in, your teammates are getting antsy."

James reached over and grabbed his spectacles so that he could put them on and give his friend an ironic look as Lily edged out of the room, blushing furiously. "Thanks, Padfoot. You know how much I love waking up to your ugly mug."

Reaching down to haul him out of bed, Sirius afforded James a wry smirk. "So, was that Lily Evans I saw in your bed?"

James let out a groan and dropped to sit on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. "Crap, Lily," he looked up at his friend and shook his head. "I hope you realize you just got me in deep, Padfoot. She'll probably hide in her room the rest of the day and miss the match!"

Sirius grinned without remorse and replied, "It's not my fault she's so skittish. No time for that now, Prongs, we've gotta get you suited up and down on the Quidditch pitch within the hour or Gryffindor will be playing sans one chaser."

James dashed to the bathroom to wet his hair after donning his quidditch robes and spotted a school uniform lying on the floor. Since Lily was unaccountably clean, he assumed it belonged to him. Wondering when he'd left it, he scooped up the discarded clothes and sent Sirius to put them in his room while he knocked on Lily's door. "Lily? Quidditch soon. I hope you come," he called briefly. He was met by silence until Sirius dragged him out of the room.

Several minutes after the sounds of footsteps died, Lily crept into the bathroom for a shower. She couldn't believe Sirius had just caught her sleeping with James! The night before seemed like a story, vague and unreal, and she felt disgusted with herself. She checked the time as she dressed hastily and her stomach gave an involuntary jump as she realized the quidditch match had already started.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" she muttered as she raced down the stairs, fastening her cloak around her shoulders on the way. She hit the Entrance Hall at a run when she suddenly tripped. Lily put out her hands as the ground rushed up to meet her, noticing vaguely that her legs weren't working. As she hit the stones, her head bounced painfully against the floor and everything went dark.

James punched his fist into the air as his Seeker, MacMillan, caught the snitch, sealing their victory over Slytherin by a solid two-hundred points. He was flying into the pile of teammates to celebrate when something caught his eye. He turned curiously to see what looked like three black cloaks spiraling through the air toward him on the stiff breeze. The weird flock flew over the first set of stands, drawing the attention of the other students as they boobed and spun idly. Several people laughed, but James glanced over and caught several of the teachers, including Professor Dumbledore, standing up and watching the dark shapes intently.

Someone screamed and James spun back around as a few people took up the shout and pointed at the bundles. One of the objects had made a funny roll and two thick, yellow braids had dropped out of the folds of the cloak, followed quickly by a pale, staring face of a third year Hufflepuff he didn't recognize. His stomach dropped as he realized the shapes were actually people in cloaks.

Leaning low over his broomstick, James shot forward, catching hold of the closest figure and tugging it against his chest. The moment he touched it, the other two bundles dropped out of the sky. The Hufflepuff girl was rescued by the other two Gryffindor chasers and the last was slowed by Dumbledore before dropping softly into the crowd. He pulled the cloak away from the face and found himself looking down into the wide, staring eyes of a first-year Ravenclaw he vaguely recognized. He revived the boy, who instantly began sobbing and clinging to him.

With his hands full trying to stay on the broom and handle the squirming, panicked child in his arms, James carefully made his way to the ground, relieved to release the hysterical boy into Madam Pomfrey's care before scanning the crowd for Dumbledore. Using his broom, he flew to the Headmaster's side and tugged his sleeve discretely. "What happened, Professor?"

"You're guess is as good as mine right now, James, but you might want to see this," his mentor remarked quietly. James looked up and saw that his usually benevolent face had turned gray and severe. He passed a ragged bit of parchment into his hand and James glanced down in surprise.

"Catch this, Potter," he read numbly. "Professor, were these students attacked because of me?"

Dumbledore sighed wearily as several of the students milling around them looked up in surprise. Rather than answer, he caught hold of James's arm and drew him a short way from the group toward the locker rooms. "Dismiss your team and take a shower, James. Then come along to the infirmary."

James's ears seemed to be rushing with blood and he heard himself ask why. The Headmaster patted him on his shoulder bracingly before admitting, "The students that have been attacked were all muggle-born."

For an instant, James swayed on his feet. Before he knew what he was doing, he hopped on his broom and raced off toward the castle. Madam Pomfrey was leaning over the Hufflepuff girl when he burst into the room. "Where is she?"

"James, please! These students need their rest," she scolded hastily.

Ignoring her, he flicked his wand, sending all of the shades scuttling back to reveal the three patients. The small boy he had saved took up wailing once again while the Hufflepuff girl looked around nervously. The third patient merely turned on her side away from him, but he caught a flash of dark red hair before the covers were drawn up over her head. He launched himself over one of the beds and sprinted to her side accompanied by the nurse's disciplinary shout.

"Lily, love? Sweetheart? Are you okay?" he stuttered anxiously as she refused to allow him to wrest the covers from over her head. "What happened? Tell me what's wrong! Who did this? Are you hurt? Lily, please talk to me!"

"James Potter, _please_ leave her alone!" Madam Pomfrey practically screamed as he fought to pull her free of the bed.

"What's wrong with her?" he demanded forcibly as he straightened and rounded on the nurse.

Setting a firm hand on his arm and trying to draw him away, she replied, "Just a bit of shock and some minor cuts and bruises. She'll be fine after a good night's rest so long as someone like _you_ isn't badgering her!"

The doors to the ward flew open and Severus Snape rushed inside, looking panicked. "_You!_" James screamed, pulling out his wand and advancing on the thin boy. A spell hit him from behind and his arms snapped to his sides as his legs jumped together, sending him sprawling on his face. He squirmed around and caught sight of Lily, hair spilling around her shoulders with a dark bruise obstructing half her face and her wand pointed at Snape with a trembling hand.

"Out! Both of you, out!" Madam Pomfrey screeched. "No more visitors if you are going to turn this ward into a dueling club!"

Snape was already retreating when she unbound James and sent him packing, looking angrier than he had ever seen her. Out in the hallway, he met up with his best friends and Frank and Alice, who had rushed up anxiously from the pitch after James had taken off.

"Is it-?" Peter began anxiously.

"It's Lily," he replied shortly, his hazel eyes darting around angrily. "Snape came in right after me, did you see him?"

Without waiting for an answer, he took off down the hall and Remus raced after him, throwing himself at James and hooking his arm painfully across his throat to get him to stop. "Prongs, no! This won't solve anything!"

"He did this! I know it!" James shouted angrily, struggling to get away.

"Let's go get him," Sirius said eagerly.

"I wouldn't advise that, gentlemen," Dumbledore's voice broke quickly through what was becoming a mob. The Headmaster paced slowly toward them with his hands behind his back, looking grave. "James, I think your presence would be of use elsewhere. With our Head Girl out of commission for the moment, it now falls to you to assist the professors and prefects in organizing the other students. As for the rest of you, I believe your Head Boy needs all the help he can get. Miss Benton, though, I think I can talk Poppy into allowing you to sit with your friend for a short while."

Though clearly unhappy about it, the boys moved off to follow the Headmaster's instructions while Alice followed him nervously into the infirmary. Dumbledore had a quiet word with the nurse and Alice was allowed to take a seat beside Lily.

"Hey," she said quietly when she couldn't think of anything better. "How are you?"

The red head peeked out from under the blankets and, seeing only her friend, slowly sat up. She had a nasty bruise covering the right side of her face and small cuts on every inch of visible skin. "I'm fine. My head hurts, but that's all. I don't remember anything other than falling."

Alice stared into her cool green eyes for a moment before asking, "Did you see James-?"

"I don't want to see James," Lily asserted forcefully, turning her eyes fixedly toward her toes.

Alice blinked at her hard tone before reaching over to rub her shoulder. "All right. That's fine. We can just... talk about something else."

"Did Gryffindor win?" Lily asked quickly.

The blonde nodded. "By two-hundred points."

"That's great," Lily said with no real pleasure. The girls avoided each other's eyes for a minute, for the first time unsure of what to say. Finally, Lily sank back into her pillows, pulling her hair over her shoulder and combing her fingers through the tangles. "I'm kind of tired, Alice."

"It's just as well, dear. You need to rest," Madam Pomfrey told her quickly, bustling up with a sleeping drought. Alice promised to come visit in the morning as Lily dutifully took the medicine and slipped out of the room. Lily immediately rolled over on her side, curling into a ball around her pillow and trying to sort through her muddled emotions. There was a part of her that had desperately needed to see James after she had woken, but that instinct had been consumed by an overwhelming fear that something terrible would happen when she had heard James storming into the infirmary. Besieged by fear and confusion, tears leaked down her cheeks as she fell into a restful sleep.

Against orders and before Alice could come in the morning, Lily slipped out of the hospital ward and went to her room. She was determined to get back to her room without seeing anyone. One thing she didn't expect was to find all four Marauders camping out in their common room. She picked her way around the sleeping boys and had just reached the stairs when James sat up.

"Lily?" he asked quickly, fumbling with his glasses. He caught sight of her disappearing up the stairs and launched himself after her. He reached the landing as the door slammed in his face. Knocking and trying the door, he shouted, "Lily, I know you're in there. Why won't you talk to me?"

"I _don't_ want to!" she shouted petulantly as she leaned against the door, her heart thumping painfully.

"What did I do?" he cried, his temper rising as his friends reached the landing behind him.

Lily remained stubbornly silent as hot tears leaked down her cheeks. She knew that James hadn't done anything, there was no real reason not to talk to him, but she felt terrified at the thought of facing him. As though something horrible would happen if she talked to him. He kept banging on the door, issuing threats and demands as she sank into a crouch, shaking violently.

"Go _away_, Potter," she screamed desperately, sending the other side of the door into sudden silence.

"Lily, come on," he called a little more gently. He reached to grasp the handle and let out a howl as a jolt of electricity jumped from the knob and stung his hand. "What the hell, Lily?" he shouted, his temper flaring up again.

"I said, "Go away, Potter!"" She shouted back. "I have nothing to say to you, so _leave me alone!"_

Trying to keep his patience, he called, "If you would just talk to me-"

"No!"

James raked a frustrated hand through his hair and tried to think for a minute. He turned to glance at his friends, but they could only shrug in confusion, though Sirius did mime blowing the door open, an idea James immediately put down. Though he knew aggression was not the right tactic, he felt confused, angry, and violent. "Lily, just… open the door. Please?"

Suddenly, the door was ripped open and James and Remus had to drop to the floor as a small glass object came pelting at his head and smashed against the wall on the other side of the landing. Just as abruptly, the door slammed closed and dead silence ensued. The two boys picked themselves up slowly and brushed off. Looking toward the wall, he saw that Lily had pelted a small Remembrall at his head and it had completely shattered. Shaking his head, James turned and trudged slowly back to the common room with his friends, unsure of where to go from this point.

James determined that he would corner her after the Prefect meeting the next evening and get her to talk to him. Unfortunately, Lily never showed up. To James's chagrin, several students had surrounded him in order to ask questions and congratulate him on the previous day's Quidditch victory. No one seemed to notice that there was anything amiss about the Head Girl's absence. It was strange to him how quickly the school returned to normal after what had happened after the game.

The following morning, Lily was working silently in Herbology when Professor Dumbledore entered the greenhouse and moved to the front of the class in order to speak to Professor Sprout. The two conversed quietly before the Headmaster glanced surreptitiously in Lily's direction. His appearance in the greenhouse had caused quite a stir, as he usually did not venture into the greenhouses, his trust in Professor Sprout's ability being complete.

Professor Sprout soon came bustling down the aisle and stopped at Lily's table. "Miss Evans, the Headmaster would like to have a word with you," she informed her briskly. Lily gathered up her things numbly and swiftly followed the Headmaster out of the greenhouse. They walked in silence through the sodden grass toward the school as Dumbledore began making small talk. Lily mostly listened until they reached his office, at which point he got down to business. Lily left his office nearly an hour later, deeply entrenched in her own thoughts. To say the least, her meeting with the Headmaster had been informative, but she wasn't quite sure what she should do about the information.

Lily absently entered the Head's common room and was startled to find James alone playing piano. He sat with his bag propped up against the side of the instrument and his eyes closed, playing from memory. She stopped short and watched him rocking lightly to the beat of the slow, sad melody. For the first time in days, she relaxed, breathing deeply and feeling as though she had woken up from a long, strange dream. Silently Lily took a few hesitant steps toward him before changing her mind and cautiously dashing up the stairs. James caught sight of her just as she was running away and raced after her. "Lily, please talk to me!"

Slamming the door in his face, Lily leaned against it and cried, "Please, James, I don't want to talk about it."

"Then we'll talk about something else. Anything," he offered patiently, sliding down so he was sitting against the door. "You weren't in Defense today, but Professor Fittinger taught us about reflection spells in class. Peter nearly took off her head when she asked him to demonstrate."

Lily sighed, rocking her forehead against the wood and trying to calm her racing heart. She couldn't shake the feeling of terror she got when she thought about talking to him, though she was no closer to understanding it. After a drawn out pause, she flipped the lock.

Hearing the click, James jumped up and tried it, relieved when the door opened easily. She gave him a weak smile as she backed up, hugging herself as though she were cold. James had to stop himself from pulling her into his arms as his heart raced. She looked so... normal. As though nothing had happened. The only proof was in her eyes, which looked frightened and skittish. Hogwarts was no longer a safe place for her.

"Peter kind of sneaks up on you, doesn't he?" she joked softly.

James took a tentative step toward her and smiled when she didn't back away. "He does his best, bless him. Is it okay if I touch you now?"

Anxiously, Lily put her hand out and led him over to her bed. The contact sent her heart fluttering in her chest, but she swallowed and smiled at him. "Tell me something funny, James."

James grinned and looked down, spinning his wand around his thumb. "All right. How many dragons does it take to light up a wand?"

"I don't-" She gasped in surprise as James's wand burst into flames and he looked at her with wide, astonished eyes.

"Never mind."

Lily burst out laughing, feeling better as James leaned down to retrieve his wand, which wasn't even smoking. While her guard was down, he reached over and gave her a quick hug before pushing himself up. "Are you hungry, love?"

Lily sighed and leaned back into her pillows. "Yes. I think I am, but I don't want to go down with everyone..."

"No problem," James replied, pushing himself off the bed. "I'll call the guys, they can sneak some stuff from the kitchens and we can have a nice, quiet Christmas feast."

"It's October," Lily pointed out blandly, even as she hurried after him.

"Exactly," James answered vaguely as he rummaged through his trunk. He seemed to locate what he was looking for, but glanced up and motioned for her to turn around, which she did with a sigh of resignation. "I've got to keep some of my secrets, love."

She covered her ears with her hands and hummed obligingly, missing his short conversation with Sirius. When James came up behind her and put his hands on her arms, she took them down and turned her head to look at him. "I should probably send a note to my mum. I haven't gotten a chance to... to tell her anything."

"How're they doing?" James asked gently, putting his arms gently around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

Lily put her hands over his and leaned into him, conscious of the fact that the wall that had surrounded her for the past few days was chipping mysteriously away. "They're fine. Mum's letters are always cheerful, but Tuny doesn't write. I reckon she's just busy with the wedding."

"What will you tell them?" he asked quietly.

Putting her head down and tracing her fingers lightly over the backs of his hands, she shrugged. "I'll tell them I've been ill. Dumbledore wants to keep it pretty quiet, but he thinks the attacks were a message. The note for you was one thing, but the other kids weren't... he thinks that someone was taunting him."

"Voldemort," James filled in unnecessarily, causing Lily to give an involuntary shudder.

"We're just kids, James. How could there be Death Eaters at Hogwarts? Why do you have my sweater?"

The last question was asked in a slightly sharper tone and James looked at her before following her gaze to the edge of his bed, where a small, blood-stained sweater was peeping out. Releasing her, he went over to pick it up, his eyes narrowing and his feet dragging as he moved to return it to her. "Why does your sweater have blood on it?"

"Who's for eating?" Sirius cried out from behind them. Anxiously, Lily pulled the garment from his hand and dashed past the guys while they merrily unloaded their burdens. She returned moments later, wiping her hands against each other unnecessarily. She was instantly converged upon by the three friends, who were eager to give her hugs and food and inquire about her health. All the time, James stared at her angrily while she did her best to avoid his gaze. After a few minutes, they moved the party into the common room, where there was more room and seats for everyone.

"Later, James," she cautioned when he came up behind her. Wisely, he kept his peace and did his best to laugh and joke along with his friends as they opened bottles of butterbeer and the boys competed for who could get Lily to eat the most.

"Guys stop! I'm gonna explode!" she laughed as Sirius did his best to cram three sandwiched pumpkin pasties in her mouth at once. As she caught her breath, she plucked up the courage to ask something that had been bothering her in her dreams. "So, who attacked Snape in the dungeons?"

There was a slight pause in activity in which no one would look at her before Remus reluctantly raised his hand. "If it helps, he deserved it."

"I'm sure he did," she agreed smoothly. "Well done, Remus."

Another silence fell as the boys digested this strange response before James let out a surprised shout. "_That's_ what happened? You had blood on your shirt because of Snape?"

"Wait. When did you have blood on your shirt?" Remus asked quickly.

"And when do we get to pummel Snape?" Sirius added with a menacing grin.

"Calm down, it was my blood. He attacked me, and, although most of that day was admittedly hazy for reasons you could probably explain, I'd be willing to guess he was trying to attack _you_, James." She stared at him mulishly until he looked away.

"Merlin's Beard, you're smart!" Peter breathed admiringly.

Remus patted him on the back and shook his head. "There's a bigger picture here, Wormtail."

"Wormtail!" Lily shouted suddenly, then blushed and clapped her hands over her mouth. All four boys turned to look at her curiously and she slowly lowered her hands to her lap. "I know what you guys are. I've seen you all when you were spying on me. Well, possibly not James, but Sirius and Peter, definitely. You guys are _amazing_."

The boys were shifting and casting uncomfortable glances at each other while Lily grinned at them broadly. "Why couldn't you fancy stupid girls like Padfoot?" Remus finally sighed.

James shrugged, grinning at Lily, who blushed vibrantly. "It's more interesting this way."

A few more hours of lighthearted conversation, music from James, and several rounds of exploding snap soon had Lily feeling as though the last weekend had never happened. They saw the boys out before heading slowly up to their own rooms, tenderly holding hands. In the doorway to her bedroom, Lily turned and smiled at James.

"I was really scared to talk to you before. I kept feeling like something bad would happen," she admitted quietly.

James grinned and reached out to brush her hair over her shoulder. "Are you trying to say I did something right for once?"

Giggling, she shook her head and took a step closer to him. "You're brilliant and talented, James. I think you do things right a whole lot more often than I care to admit. There's just one thing I'd like to know..."

"What's that?" he asked, leaning down so his face was inches from her own.

"What animal do you turn into?" she asked quietly, lowering her eyelids and lifting her face for a kiss. In the next minute, she jumped back with a scream as a magnificent stag took James's place. Heart pounding, she giggled in surprise and took a step toward him with her hand nervously outstretched. "Prongs?"

The stag dipped its head and snorted, taking a small step toward her so that her fingers gently brushed his downy muzzle. She stared into his hazel eyes in surprise and noticed there were light markings mimicking his glasses. An instant later, James stood before her as a man with a cheeky grin and Lily leaned into his chest, putting her arms around his waist. He hugged her back and she sighed. "You really are brilliant, James. I never even imagined..."

She sounded so sleepy that he had to smile. "Thanks, Lily. You're pretty clever yourself. Now, are you going to need help to your room or do you want to join me in my bed tonight?"

Lily seriously considered joining him in his room. The past few nights, she had read as late as she could stand before huddling anxiously under her covers with her bear clutched tightly to her breast jumping at small noises as she waited for dawn. Finally, she shook her head. "I think I need to get used to being a big girl and sleeping in my own room, James."

Looking crestfallen, he nodded in understanding and kissed her forehead, turning to go to bed when she caught his hand and pulled him to a stop. "You could come read with me, though."

Eagerly, he moved to his room to put on his pajamas and retrieve a book before going to knock on her door. She opened it, looking adorable in soft pink flannel pajamas and he quickly took his place on the bed. They read companionably for nearly an hour before Lily suddenly looked up and rolled out of bed. She padded softly over to the window and stared out in delight.

"It's snowing, James," she murmured excitedly. He grinned at her over his book, but made no move to go look and she frowned at him and stamped her foot. "_It's snowing, James_. It's exciting... come see."

When she continued to glare at him, he sighed, marked his book, and got out of bed. Crossing the room quietly, he stood close behind her. Looking outside at the falling snow, he had to admit: it was beautiful. He looked down to find Lily grinning at him with irritating smugness. "Okay, you were right. It's fantastic."

Lily wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head back against his shoulder, gazing outside contentedly as he hugged her against him. "Tell me you love me, James. Please?" she asked quietly.

James pressed a kiss to her forehead and leaned his chin against her hair. "I love you, Lily. Very much. Do you even like me?"

"I _do_ like you, James," she admitted softly. "I never thought that would be even remotely possible, but I do."

James grinned and hugged her closer, encouraged by that small bit of information. After a minute, she huddled closer to him, moving her icy heels on top of his feet and making him groan. "Why don't we go back to bed?"

She nodded and he swept her up, making her giggle, and dashing back to the bed. They clung to each other under the covers and James removed his glasses before extinguishing the light. Lily's soft, cool hands moved up to his face, smoothing her fingers gently across his cheeks before kissing him softly. James tightened his arm around her waist as she brushed light kisses across his face, winding her hands into his hair before returning to his mouth. She nipped at his lower lip, sucking it gently before prodding his lips with her tongue. He responded eagerly, exploring the inside of her mouth while she made small squeaks and moans of pleasure. It wasn't long before they were both feeling much warmer.

At length Lily broke off the kiss, resting her forehead against his sternum as she fought to control her breathing. James rubbed her back tenderly while he waited, even though his body was literally aching for more. Finally, Lily rolled over in his arms, putting her hands on his and smiling. "Goodnight, James."

Suppressing a groan, he considered going to the bathroom for some relief, but Lily's breathing was already evening out and she was laying on his arm. Deciding to tough it out, he snuggled her closer. "Goodnight, love."


	9. The Pain of Separation

It was strange how quickly the school forgot about what had happened after the first quidditch match of the season. Some people had thought it was just a joke, but the ones that had realized what the three victims had in common didn't want to talk about it. The professors, prefects and Head Boy and Girl increased their rounds and there were heavier punishments for students found out of bounds, but no one was ever punished for it.

After a very tense, uneventful week, everyone began to move on, though Lily was becoming increasingly aware that she was very seldom alone. Even when there appeared to be no one else around, she often had the distinct feeling that she was being followed. The lack of privacy began to work on her nerves as the first part of the term wound to a close.

Lily entered the Great Hall one Saturday morning the week before Christmas holiday and quickly took a seat at the end of the Gryffindor table without acknowledging any of the students around her. Completely unaware of three pairs of eyes watching from half a table away, she ladled herself some porridge and sprinkled it with sugar before pouring herself a large glass of milk and cracking open a heavy book.

"What's she doing?" Peter whispered, taking a bite of toast and scattering crumbs all over his robes.

"Um, I think she's eating, Wormtail," Remus replied sardonically, although he was watching Lily with the same intensity as Sirius and Peter.

"No, wait," Sirius interrupted, barely concealing his excitement, "I think she's gonna turn the page! Blimey, do you reckon she'll have tea today?"

Mirroring the confusion of his friends, James plopped down next to Sirius and reached for the bacon, his eyes fixed on Lily's profile. As one, his friends turned to look at him. They transferred their gaze back and forth a few more times before Sirius finally nudged James. "So what's up with you and Lily?"

James merely shrugged as he absently dug into his breakfast. "Search me. She was gone before I got up this morning. Has anyone else noticed she's been a bit huffy lately?"

Peter distractedly raised his fork to his mouth, hit his chin, and scattered eggs all down his front, swearing lightly as he swept the mess away. "D'you think that's why she isn't sitting with us?"

James shrugged once more. "How should I know? _I_ haven't done anything. What about the rest of you?"

"We've all been on our best behavior. Even Sirius, although I think he's in love now that she gives him tummy rubs..." Remus replied thoughtfully.

"She's a gem, Prongs. No one else touches me the way she does," Sirius smirked.

James gave him a dry look. "Cute, Padfoot."

"D'you think she's noticed we've been tailing her?" Peter asked in a sudden moment of clarity.

The boys paused for an intense moment as they recalled how much she had been able to deduce about their secret operations in the past few months and realized that was a distinct possibility. As a group, they had decided that she had probably been singled out for being a muggle-born Head Girl and her relationship to James had been coincidental for a personal vendetta, but this information only caused them to get nervous about her being alone. They had been extremely careful to stay out of sight, and, unless Lily was in her bedroom or the bathroom, she had not been alone since her attack.

"So, how mad do you reckon she is if she knows?" Sirius asked quietly, shooting a glance over at her as she sipped her tea.

"Well, she's not too angry, or else she'd let us know in a big way. She probably just wants some time," Peter observed sagely.

"Since when do _you_ know so much about girls, Wormtail?" Sirius demanded, slightly outraged.

Peter turned slightly pink and replied, "I'm not completely helpless, Padfoot. I know _some_ things."

"Not everyone can be as knowledgeable as you, Padfoot. In any case, he's right," Remus drawled sarcastically. "Lily does have a definite pattern for expressing herself."

The four boys pondered this for a moment, while Lily finished her breakfast and stood. She walked past them absently, effectively cutting off the conversation as she threw them a distant smile that clearly communicated: Please don't follow me. The boys only waited long enough to wolf down the rest of their food before going after her.

They passed the morning in the library, sitting a discreet distance away from Lily, who did her homework alone before Alice and Frank joined her. Thought it irritated Lily that they were there and she often felt their eyes on her, none of the boys made a move to come talk to her and she couldn't think of any reasonable excuse to ask them to leave. It wasn't until just before lunch that Lily finished her work and decided to go eat that Peter was elected to corner her and find out what was going on.

He caught up to her in the hallway leading into the Entrance Hall. Puffing a little, his face red from the exertion of sprinting down the steps, he shouted, "Lily wait!" for the third time and was relieved when she finally hesitated and stopped just inside the doorway, telling Frank and Alice to go on without her.

"What is it, Peter?" she asked in an soft voice. From the look on her face and the way she kept glancing toward the Entrance Hall, it was obvious she was in a hurry, but Peter was doggedly determined to learn where she stood.

Clutching a stitch in his side, he finally came up next to her and wheezed, "I just wanted to ask you what was going on with-"

"_Obliviate,_" Lily interrupted quietly. Peter's eyes suddenly glazed over and Lily gave him an apologetic look before continuing on her way. She did not want to talk for fear of losing her temper, but knew that the boys were bound to be reasonably curious. Unfortunately, she couldn't think of a better way of avoiding the inevitable.

Peter remained stationary for several minutes before blinking and shaking his head. "What was I doing?" he wondered aloud. He thought for a moment, then felt his stomach rumble and smiled. "Oh yes. Lunch," he reminded himself and wandered off with a vague grin.

After eating, Lily, Frank, and Alice moved out onto the snow covered grounds, determined to build a snowman. Several other brave students had bundled up against the cold for some winter games and Lily wasn't surprised when a great black dog loped toward her, barking and wagging his tail merrily.

"Oh, he's so cute!" Alice cooed as she knelt to rub the dog's floppy ears.

"He's a nuisance," Lily sighed exasperatedly, even as she knelt to scratch around his neck. Leaning close with her arms around him, she muttered, "I'm around _people_, Sirius. It's not like You-Know-Who is going to come marching up the hill with a Death To Mudbloods banner."

The dog whined piteously and Lily shoved him playfully back into a snowdrift. As he struggled to get out, she packed a few soft snowballs in her gloved hands and waved her wand over them. They instantly began flying at the dark animal, chasing him until he was safe inside the castle while Lily smiled at her friends and went back to constructing a snowman.

It was close to dinner before Remus was able to catch Lily outside of the girl's bathroom. She had ducked inside in the first place in order to avoid him, but when she stepped back through the door, she was surprised to find him waiting patiently for her with a kind smile on his face. He had his hands in his pockets and his brown satchel slung unceremoniously over his shoulder. The front of his shirt was untucked and his sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, giving him a careless look.

"Hey Lily," he began without preamble. "I was hoping I could get a chance to talk to you."

"I'm kind of in a hurry right now, Remus," she replied quietly as she began to move off, surreptitiously sliding her wand out of her sleeve where she had decided to keep it for just such an occasion.

Remus effortlessly matched her stride and said, "I'll come with you. I've been meaning to ask-"

"_Obliviate_!" Lily cried, pointing her wand at Remus and watching his eyes quickly glaze over. "I'm sorry, Remus, I just can't right now." She turned away and ran down the hall to seek the privacy of her room.

After several minutes, Remus shook his head and put his hand up to brush the hair out of his eyes. 'What am I doing here?' he thought with a bemused glance towards the women's bathroom. Giving a shrug, he headed toward Gryffindor Tower, sure he'd remember what he had been doing sooner or later.

Throughout the rest of the week, Lily managed to effectively dodge all of the boys in one way or another. She was surprised that the only one who didn't approach her was James, the only one statistically most likely to run into her given the close proximity of their living conditions, not to mention the shared bathroom. She only saw him in the morning from halfway down the table at breakfast, though he made no move toward her, nor did he even seem aware of her presence. He looked a bit peaky, Lily couldn't help but notice, but she shoved the thought away and reminded herself that his health wasn't any of her business if she was going to avoid him so callously.

Thursday night, she entered her room after an exhausting day of taking alternate routes to all of her classes in order to avoid his friends. It was uncanny how they always seemed to know where she would be, but at least she consoled herself that she was getting some good practice with memory charms. It was a relief to know that by this time tomorrow night she would be free, with weeks ahead of her to calm down, formulate an argument against their constant surveillance, and gain control of her compulsive desire to hex them on sight.

As she approached her bed, she realized that there was a small package lying in the center of the covers. She immediately halted and scanned the room, but saw nothing out of place and glanced quizzically toward the door. She had locked the door and put up several wards before leaving her room that morning, yet they had all still been in place when she had returned and nothing else in the room appeared different.

Slowly, she covered the last few steps to her bed and lifted the package, which was wrapped in thick brown paper. A short note was attached to the top of the box and Lily opened it and read James' familiar cramped script:

_Lily,_

_This is an early Christmas present. If you need anything, _

_just tap it three times and say my name. I hope you have a good holiday. _

_I'll miss you._

_Love,_

_James_

Lily reread the note several times, before staring at the box with some trepidation. With numb fingers, she pulled the paper away and opened the lid of the box. Looking down into its recesses, she was surprised to see a face looking back up at her, but smiled to herself when she realized it was only a mirror. Lifting the oval glass out of the bottom gently, she turned it over in her hands, but couldn't find anything unusual about it.

Shrugging, she put the mirror back in its box and packed it into the small case she was taking home with her over the holiday. She spent the remainder of the evening getting a head start on her reading, pausing only briefly to listen to James making his way slowly up the steps, hesitating outside of her door, then trudging resignedly to his own room and shutting his door quietly. Listening to the silence, Lily felt a pang of loneliness, but pushed it away and returned feverishly to her reading.

The following morning saw the rush of students doing last minute packing and scurrying to the train to get seats next to their friends. Lily sat in a remote corner of the Prefect's car curled up with a book, pretending not to notice anyone around her. She supposed James would be in a compartment with his friends, but convinced herself that she didn't care so long as she was being left alone.

After nearly an hour, she began to get the creepy feeling she was being watched and glanced around surreptitiously. No rat. No dog. No enormous stag. Nothing seemed amiss. She had begun to suspect that the boys had other means of concealment, but she couldn't start randomly shooting spells around the compartment in search of them. Seeing no other solution, she slipped her book under her arm and left the compartment to go sit with Alice and Frank.

The Hogwarts Express finally pulled into the station where families were joyfully reunited and younger students waited impatiently to be let out of the barrier. Older students whose parents did not come to get them apparated to their homes. Lily was ready to apparate once her feet touched the platform, but was quickly caught by James before she could step off the train. He pulled her back by her elbow and dragged her gently into an abandoned carriage.

"I just wanted to remind you that if you need anything, don't hesitate to get in contact with me," he told her quickly, aware he probably only had a minute to talk before he mysteriously forgot where he was.

Lily nodded and smiled up at him. "I'll keep that in mind. Who has first shift?"

"We won't be following you over holiday, Lily," James assured her seriously.

She raised her eyebrows at him before shaking her head, reaching down to take his hand. "Because checking up on me isn't the same thing as following me?"

"Exactly," he replied with a grim smile. Catching her chin, he brought her eyes up to his. She started to feel a little breathless as she stared up at him and he stroked her cheek gently. "Honestly, Lily. Anything at all and I'm here. I can come wherever you are in a few seconds. Did you get your present?"

"Yes, James, I got it. I'll let you know if I need anything," she laughed, edging toward the door. She hesitated for a moment before taking a step back and kissing him briefly. He gave her a wide grin as she headed off the train, disapparating with a crack.

She arrived on the sidewalk in front of her family home a moment later and stared in surprise at the moving van parked in the driveway. With a feeling of unreality, she moved around the edge of the van and spotted the "For Sale" sign peeking above a drift of snow on the front lawn. Scrutinizing the sign further, she noticed the edge of a red "Sold" sticker just visible above the snow. Her heart started pounding as she ran for the front door.

She hit the entrance hall at a sprint and shouted, "Petunia!" The hallway had been stripped of the framed family photographs and other homey touches their mother had lovingly collected over the years, and Lily moved with a feeling of unreality toward the parlor to find it completely empty.

"Petunia!" she screamed again. Turning toward the sound of feet on the steps, she met her sister at the bottom of the stairs, her face contorted with fury. Petunia had her blonde hair swept up in a stately bun and was wearing a mustard yellow sweater with a green pencil skirt. She was carrying a small box and looked somewhat surprised to see her sister.

"What' going on?" she shouted as the older girl reached the hallway.

To her surprise, there were fresh tear tracks marring her sister's make-up, but the older girl gave no sign of crying as she regarded her with obvious anger. Petunia glared at her sister disdainfully and scolded, "Bring your voice down, Lily."

"Where's mum? Where is all of our stuff? What's going on?" she cried insistently.

To her surprise, her sister's thin mouth quivered slightly and her eyes welled with tears. When she spoke, her voice was hoarse and accusatory. "She's gone, Lily. We had the funeral last week."

Lily stared at her, feeling as though her body had gone suddenly hollow. After a moment of incredulous silence, she choked, "What?"

"Come to the kitchen. I'll make tea," Petunia offered quietly. In a daze, Lily followed and sat at the table, the only furniture left in the lower part of the house, while her sister fluttered around the barren room. She barely registered the teacup in front of her. She only looked up when her sister left and returned, slipping a sealed envelope addressed with her name in her mother's handwriting in front of her. "It's for you. Mum... she wrote it before... It explains everything."

"Somehow I doubt that," Lily replied in a cool voice, pushing the envelope away and leveling her sister with a stern look. "What happened to her, Petunia?"

"She was sick, Lily," Petunia cried, suddenly angry. "She's been sick for a long time and she just decided to die."

"And no one told me because...?" Lily screamed, inadvertently causing the cup to shatter in front of her. "Mum's been writing me every week since I went back to school! She never said a thing! How hard is it for you to slip in a little note to say: 'By the way, mum's dying'?"

"I didn't know!" Petunia shouted right back, pushing herself up furiously. "She didn't tell me anything and wouldn't talk to me when she started getting worse! I didn't know until she went to hospital! You weren't the only one she kept it from, but she didn't want you to know because she was afraid you'd try to save her! She wanted to die and it's all your fault!"

Speechless, Lily ran from the room, sobbing hysterically. She pounded into her room to find it empty of everything but boxes. Mortified, she crouched in a corner, trying to deal with the pain she was experiencing. The shock was the worst part, closely followed by the bone-shattering guilt her sister's words caused.

The sun had set by the time Petunia knocked softly on the door. She pushed it open without permission and flipped on the light, staring at her sister apathetically. "We moved up the wedding. I'm getting married tomorrow. Vernon said you can stay at our house while we're on our honeymoon so you have time to figure out what to do, but you have to be gone by the time we get back."

Lily could only stare past her numbly. "Mum died and you sold the house without telling me and now you say I have a week to figure out where to go from here. What exactly am I supposed to do, Petunia?"

Petunia gave her a little shrug. "That's not really my problem. You're big girl, Lily, you'll figure something out." She turned away from her sister, hiding the sharp twinge of regret that had bubbled up in her chest as she moved quietly down the stairs.

"Why are you doing this, Petunia?" Lily asked in a pained voice. She stood in the doorway to her room, her face devoid of color and her eyes taking on a desperate expression. "What did I do to you?"

"Don't be so childish, Lily. Contrary to popular opinion, the world doesn't revolve around _you_. I need to do what's best for me right now. I've left half of the money upstairs for you," she continued, not meeting her sister's eyes as she fiddled with the corner of her box. "But now, I've got to go. Vernon is expecting me to bring the van over. The new owners will be moving in tomorrow, so you'll have to collect your things and get out by tonight."

She moved toward the door, but Lily could only stare at her as she passed. She could not believe that on top of everything, she was losing her home as well; her last source of normalcy. It didn't seem real. It wasn't fair. Taking a step towards Petunia, she said in a subdued voice, "Petunia, wait. Can't we talk about this?"

"There's nothing left to talk about Lily," Petunia cried, shaking her head as tears welled into her eyes. She covered the tears by swinging her coat across her shoulders. By the time she looked at her sister, she was in control again. "I need to think of myself right now. It would be best if you did the same."

She stopped with her hand on the doorknob. Without turning, she said, "Whatever you decide, I'd appreciate it if you'd leave your key on the mantle before you go."

At that, she left. Without looking back. Lily sank to the floor as the tears overwhelmed her, unaware that Petunia had parked just down the street, overcome by her own tears and misgivings. After several minutes of uncontrolled weeping, Lily slowly picked herself up and climbed the steps to her room. There was a small pile of boxes in the center of the room, containing the few things she possessed that she had left at home. There was a wad of cash resting on the top of the boxes. Numbly, Lily pocketed the money, and then felt the tears rising once more as she read one of the labels: Family Photos.

It seemed as though Petunia was determined to forget everything about her past. Lily moved to sit on a box labeled "Clothes" as she tried to figure out what she could do. She didn't have any other family beside Petunia, and her only friends were at Hogwarts. Lily shook her head at the hopelessness of it all, trying to fight the panic that was welling inside her chest. All at once, she remembered James.

Pulling out her wand, she called her suitcase to her from the bottom of the stairs and quickly opened it, rifling through for the gift that she had carefully packed. With shaking hands, she lifted out the mirror and flicked it, nervously stuttering his name. At first, nothing happened, then the mirror went dark. Nervously, she tapped the glass again and James's face suddenly swam into view. He grinned at her until he noticed her puffy face and tear-filled eyes.

"James, I need you," she admitted hoarsely.

Within seconds, he and Sirius apparated into her bedroom, wands out and ready for trouble. Seeing no one but Lily sitting morosely on a pile of boxes, James knelt in front of her and put his hands on her arms, rubbing gently as he looked up into her face. "What is it, love? What's happened?"

"My mum's dead," she announced tonelessly. In shock, James gathered her into his arms, rubbing her back soothingly as she burst into fresh tears. He held her gently, catching Sirius's eye over her head. A silent communication passed between them and James picked her up while Sirius pulled out his wand. "What are you doing?"

"We're going to take care of you, sweetheart," James assured her gently while Sirius shrank and packed all of her things. "You can come home with me until we figure out what to do."

"Or forever, if you like," Sirius offered magnanimously. "Where's the rest of your stuff?"

Lily shook her head dully as she turned to find everything wedged tightly into her small suitcase. "That's everything."

"Right. More than I left my parent's with," Sirius told her cheerfully, pushing the case closed and lifting it easily. "Are we ready, then?"

Vaguely staring at the wall from her place in James's arms, Lily nodded. In the next instant, they apparated outside the Potter residence. Looking distinctly green, Lily began to struggle and ordered James to put her down. She vomited into the snow while the boys became conveniently deaf. After a moment, she straightened and James held out his hand. She took it and numbly walked between him and Sirius to the house, noticing nothing on her way. Before she knew what was happening, she was sitting in a warm, comfortable kitchen and James was pressing a cup of hot cocoa into her hands.

He sat beside her and rubbed her back gently, leaning forward to catch her attention. "I'm going to leave you with Sirius for a second, love. I'll be right back, okay?"

Lily nodded dumbly as a large, shaggy head pushed into her lap. Sirius stared up at her with doleful eyes and she put her hand up to stroke his fur, feeling slightly comforted. James left as she took her first sip of cocoa and made his way to his parent's rooms. His father was still in his study, intermittently scratching notes on a messy roll of parchment, poking his wand at a shadowy disk on a table, and watching the results with his pale blue eyes. His dark gray hair stood up at all angles around his head and his robes were rumpled and smeared with ink.

Aldan Potter looked up when he caught sight of his son in the doorway and grinned. "What is it, James?"

"Lily's here, dad," James announced gravely. "She's... she's in a bad way."

His father's amused expression quickly melted into concern. He wiped his hands with a clean handkerchief as he came around the table. "Voldemort?"

"No, dad. Nothing like that," James rushed to assure him. "I don't know all the details, but her mum died and her sister kicked her out of the house."

Aldan nodded gravely, removing his glasses and rubbing his nose thoughtfully. "She'll be staying here, then. Do you want me to check her over?"

James looked at his hands. "I don't know, dad. I think she's in shock. I don't know what she needs."

The older man felt his heart ache as he watched his son looking so forlorn. Comfortingly, he squeezed James's shoulders and leveled him with a serious look. "Don't try to fix anything tonight, son. She needs to grieve. Perhaps later you can take her to the grave. Right now, she needs to let out the pain and find closure. If she wants to talk, let her; if not, don't press. Just be there for her however she needs."

"Can you come talk to her?" James asked quietly.

Aldan shook his head and smiled. "I don't want to overwhelm her. See if she wants to eat, then show her to a room. Your mother and I can meet her in the morning. You did the right thing bringing her here, James. I'm so proud of you."

James knew his father had said that to make him feel better, but a miserable pain stuck in his gut as he nodded and made his way back to the kitchen. He found Lily playing with Sirius's ears while tears leaked quietly down her cheeks. The cup on the table was empty. Carefully, he put his hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him numbly.

"Are you hungry?"

Lily shrugged. She didn't really know. James moved off to make her a sandwich. Suddenly, her eyes widened and she reached into her pocket. "I was supposed to leave my key in the house. I have to go back..."

"I'll take it," Sirius volunteered quickly. Lily looked up in surprise. She hadn't even noticed him transforming and taking a seat beside her. He gently took the key from her hand and left the room as James set a plate in front of her and sat down.

They sat in silence while Lily ate, barely tasting the food as her eyes remained fixed on a far point on the wall. She was only halfway finished when some vague ripple of memory broke through the haze of her mind and she began weeping quietly again. Instantly, James was there, pulling her across his lap and holding her tightly. Sirius returned without her noticing and nodded his success to James before holding up a sealed envelope and setting it on the table.

"Do you want me to stay?" Sirius asked a little awkwardly.

James shrugged helplessly before leaning back to look into Lily's face. Her skin was splotchy and swollen and her red-tipped nose was leaking profusely, making James want to laugh, but he tactfully refrained. "Hey, sweetheart? Why don't we go to bed?"

Lily finally nodded and he pushed out from the table and stood with her in his arms. He carried her up three flights of stairs before moving into a dark room. Sirius came in behind him, sending the lights in the ornate crystal chandelier and fire in the grate blazing. The spacious room was decorated in gold and sapphire, with an enormous four poster bed sitting between two floor-to-ceiling windows. James sat her on the edge of the bed, causing the fluffy duvet to depress several inches, and gently removed her coat and boots.

Reaching up James tenderly brushed her hair out of her face and smile at her. "Do you want to get on your pajamas?"

Lily blinked at him sluggishly and he shot a look at Sirius, who quickly placed her suitcase at his side before leaving the room. James sifted through the contents before pulling out a wrinkled nightgown and reaching for her. Staring through him, she didn't even blush when he drew her shirt over her head and settled her pajamas in its place. Reaching up under the hem, he released the clasp on her bra and undid her pants, helping her to remove them as she stood stiffly.

Finally, he pulled back the blankets on the bed and helped her lie against the mountain of pillows before covering her up. He put his hand on her cheek and smiled down at her as she focused on him for the first time. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

Reaching up to press his hand, she nodded and turned on her side. James moved to the wardrobe and pulled out a pair of pajamas for himself, swiftly changing before returning to the bed. Extinguishing the lights and setting his wand on the bedside table, he crawled in beside her and held her close. To his surprise, she fell asleep quickly, exhausted from the day's events.


	10. A Wedding and a dream

Lily woke the next morning to find the sun shining brightly through the two enormous windows framing her huge bed. James was no where to be seen, and indeed she hadn't really registered him being there, or leaving nearly an hour earlier. Her face was so puffy, she could barely open her eyes and stared around blearily, trying to figure out where she was. The bedroom was beautiful and spacious. Her four-poster bed was hung with sapphire curtains that matched the ones on the windows. There were several shelves of books and wardrobes lining the walls along with a small sitting area near an ornate fireplace.

After staring around for several confused seconds, the previous day crashed in on her and she fell back into the fluffy pillows. Her mother was gone. Her home was gone. She was an orphan. The word rang violently in her ears, though no one had said it out loud. She considered crying, but her eyes remained stubbornly dry. Dully, she rolled out of the bed and padded softly to one of two doors.

She opened it and found herself in a lovely, spacious bathroom. Everything seemed to be gleaming white, gold and blue, making it hard for her to believe how gloomy she felt on the inside. Almost without realizing what she was doing, she turned on the water for a bath, pleased when lavender-scented, white bubbles frothed out of the faucet along with the hot water. Once the tub was full, she stripped out of her rumpled nightgown and slipped into the water, allowing herself to sink under the surface as she held her breath. The tub was big enough for her to stretch out and she drifted listlessly until her lungs began to burn.

Coming up for air, Lily drew her knees to her chest as her eyes started leaking again and she cried quietly for several minutes. After that was done, she dunked herself once more, taking turns at that as the water grew steadily cooler. It was quite some time later when she heard a soft knock in the outside room.

"Come in," she called huskily, watching as James moved into the room hesitantly with a tray.

He looked at the rumpled, empty bed for a moment before turning and spotting her through the doorway. Instantly, his eyes moved to the wall beside the door as his face flushed hotly. "I, erm, I brought you breakfast. D'you want me to leave it?"

Rather than answer, Lily sighed and let the water out of the tub. Pushing herself out and wrapping up in a towel, she left a wet trail behind her as she went into the room and thanked him softly. She was starting to feel vague and hazy again, so she missed the way he looked anywhere but at her as she stopped in front of him. Nervously, James set the tray on the edge of the bed and went to one of the wardrobes, pulling out a fluffy white robe and bringing it over for her. Once she was covered, he finally looked her in the eyes. "How'd you sleep?"

"I don't remember," she told him honestly as she picked at the food. "I still feel tired, but I didn't have any dreams."

"You can sleep all day if you want," James offered hesitantly.

Lily smiled at him sadly and shook her head. "My sister is getting married today. I should go to the wedding."

"Are you sure you're up to that?" he asked after a long pause.

"I'm not really sure about anything, anymore," Lily laughed quietly. "But I'm her sister. We're the only family we have left. It's my responsibility to support her."

James had to bite his tongue to avoid saying just what he thought of her sister. Instead, he offered to go with her. She nodded vaguely before getting up to go over to the wardrobe. She found a wide selection of dresses and robes inside and pulled a short, filmy violet dress at random. Unmindful of James, she dropped her robe and dressed before searching hazily for her wand and finding it on the bedside table. After drying her hair, she turned to find him staring uncomfortably at the floor.

"Are you wearing that?" she asked finally, taking in his relaxed jeans and gray sweater.

Glancing up, James shrugged and smiled, moving over and opening the wardrobe to reveal a host of men's clothing. "I'll wear whatever you want me to."

"It'll probably be kind of formal," Lily replied vaguely, moving over to select a few pieces for him. Within a half hour, James and Sirius were ready to leave. Lily explained where they were going as best she could as they moved out onto the icy grounds. Everything seemed painfully bright to Lily, and she found herself walking with her head down and her shoulders hunched. The boys held onto her as she disapparated, concentrating hard to help them navigate.

Within moments they were stomping inside the modest church that had been garishly hung with mauve and minty green decorations. There weren't many people milling about, but Lily directed the boys to a pew in the back in order to avoid the few friends of Petunia's that she recognized. James was helping her with her coat when she caught Veronica and Bob staring at her and whispering to a couple she did not know. Unfortunately, Sirius saw them too, and covertly shot a spell at them behind her back. In the next second, Veronica was screaming and clawing desperately at her throat, where her heavy pearl necklace had become a glimmering snake. Lily let out a small laugh and smiled her thanks at Sirius as she took a seat between him and James.

More hilarity ensued as the service began. The men wore mint green tuxedoes with mauve ties while the bridesmaids took up most of the isle in enormous mauve dresses. Lily did her best not to giggle as they tripped and slugged their way to the front of the church. Finally, the bridal music was cued and everyone stood and turned to find Petunia in an enormous, frilly white dress that took up the entire aisle by itself. Her blonde hair was piled high atop her head and she simpered tearfully at Vernon as she took a few steps toward him. It wasn't until that moment that she saw her sister, and her face instantly changed to one of nauseated malice. Determinedly, she turned straight forward and refused to acknowledge the younger girl.

Lily stilled Sirius and James as they reached for their wands simultaneously and shook her head. "It's her day," she reminded them quietly. The service passed without incident and, by the time Petunia was making her way back down the aisle with her new husband, the three interlopers had gone.

"Do we really have to do it this way every time?" Lily asked quietly when they had returned to the Potter's front gate.

"Just until the house gets used to you," James reassured her carefully, letting her and Sirius go inside before him. "Dad managed a useful spell so that the house recognizes people who live there. It's tricky and tends to give the building a small amount of sentience, but it serves its purpose."

"I love it," Sirius informed her happily. "The house always picks up my dirty socks and leaves me sandwiches."

Lily digested this information silently before shooting a quick glance at James. "Exactly how brilliant is your father?"

"Remember how rich I am?" he asked off-handedly. "He's that squared."

Lily sighed and shook her head, feeling slightly intimidated as they entered the house. With how clever James was, it only made sense that he would have intelligent parents. They moved into the kitchen, which appeared to be the center of life at the Potter's, to find an elderly couple seated across from each other at the table while a plump brunette served them lunch. The man looked exactly like James, with the exception of a few extra wrinkles, dark gray hair in an untidy heap, and twinkling blue eyes that reminded her of Dumbledore. The woman, though elderly, was still quite beautiful with thick, silver hair that was piled on top of her head in a loose bun. She gave Lily a gentle smile, her hazel eyes shining with compassion. James caught Lily's hand and pulled her in front of him, putting his arm protectively around her waist.

"Mum, dad, this is Lily Evans. Lily, this is my mother, Adele, and my father Aldan," he introduced them in a soft voice.

Lily smiled at them anxiously, her throat going suddenly dry. Before she could say anything, Adele was out of her seat and reaching for her hands, positively beaming. "We are so glad to meet you at last, my dear. We only wish it could have been under happier circumstances."

Lily thanked her softly and James led her to a seat. With a flick of her wand, the cook added three more settings and dimpled fondly at Sirius as he sat down beside Adele. Aldan, who had been quiet up into this point, cleared his throat and reached up to smooth his hair down ineffectually. "What sort of mischief did we get up to this morning, boys? I'm not used to you being up so early."

"We went to my sister's wedding," Lily volunteered shyly.

"You'd have loved it, Al," Sirius relayed buoyantly. "She married a walrus in a mint green suit."

Even Lily had to laugh at the ridiculous picture her sister's wedding painted as Sirius described it with relish. She made it through lunch without crying at all and agreed when Aldan offered to show her what he had been working on. Everyone but the cook, who's name turned out to be Katie, trouped gamely from the room to the laboratory to be shown what turned out to be a wide, metal plate that was helping him to adjust the weather so that it would be clear for their Christmas guests. After that, Adele took them to the conservatory, where she had been training her hybrid Flutterby Honking Daffodil Bush to play God Rest Ye, Merry Hippogriffs for the Christmas Ball.

"Oh, but Lily, dear, I already sent out your invitation!" Adele hummed excitedly as she took the young girl's hand. "After all of James's owls saying you were getting on so well, I couldn't help myself. I've wanted to invite you for ages, you know, but he didn't seem to think it would be a very good idea."

Lily couldn't help but smile at the smaller woman's enthusiasm, even as she caught James rumpling his hair uncomfortably. As if sensing his son's unease, Aldan stepped up beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you and Sirius show Lily the rest of the house and grounds, son? I think she might like it, and you three probably don't want to spend the whole day puttering around with a couple of old fuddy-duddies."

"Speak for yourself, love," Adele shot back with playful defiance. Instantly contrite, Aldan moved to put his arms around his wife and planted a doting kiss on her cheek. She smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling with affection that made Lily blush. When James took her hand, her stomach rolled nervously and she glanced up at him sheepishly.

"That's a good idea, dad," James replied easily, carefully avoiding looking at her to give her time to get over her shyness.

The remainder of the day was spent going over the extensive building and land surrounding the house, which included a forest, a lake, a quidditch-sized field, and a hedge maze that included a small system of underground caves. As if the sheer size of the property wasn't enough, each new area held an interesting secret that surprised and intrigued Lily, keeping her mind busy. Before she knew it, they were finishing a light supper accompanied by a heavy dose of Sirius and James brand comedy, and Lily was being shown to her beautiful room on the third floor. She felt ready to drop as James led her inside, lighting a fire in the ornate fireplace and illuminating a gorgeous chandelier with a single flick of his wand.

"I'm right across the hall if you need anything," James told her quietly. He watched as she walked to the middle of the room and stopped, turning slowly in place to take stock of her surroundings. He still couldn't quite believe that she was really here.

Lily turned and looked at him, feeling a bit overwhelmed. She opened her mouth to speak as tears puddled in her eyes and she closed it again after making a few unintelligible noises. James watched her hesitantly before asking, "Can I hold you?"

She nodded mutely and sighed as his arms came around her. She put her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his shoulder as the tears leaked silently out of her eyes, dampening his shirt. "I can't believe they're gone," she whispered finally.

James didn't know what to say. He still had his parents, so he knew he couldn't possibly understand what she was going through. He also felt that telling her everything would be all right sounded a bit dismissive. Rather than saying anything that was sure to come out wrong, James held her close until she began to get control of herself.

"Why are you being so nice, James?" she finally croaked sadly. "I'm not special or important. I'm just a bit clever and pretty. You could do better."

James furrowed his brow a little and shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about," he replied honestly.

Taking a step away from him, Lily hesitated. "I've avoided you for a whole week and I've never been nice to you. In the past I've been downright nasty."

Smiling, James shook his head. "You still don't get it, do you?" he asked quietly.

Eyes wide, she slowly shook her head and he closed the space between them and taking her hands tenderly. Looking down into her eyes, making sure he had her attention, he said, "Lily, I _really_ care for you. All that talk during school about wanting to be friends and being in love with you wasn't just talk. So far as I understand it, when a man's in love with a woman, he doesn't let little things discourage him. I don't know if you'll ever feel the same way about me, but the truth is that I'm crazy about you. If you asked me to jump out that window right now, I'd do it. I'd snap my broomstick in half for a chance to be with you. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. Do you understand that?"

Lily could only stare at him, dumbfounded. Despite the serious approach James had taken toward their relationship in the past few months, she still had been unable to really believe that he had meant all that he had said. The practical side of her told her there was no way James Potter was serious; that any minute Sirius would fall out of the wardrobe and it would all be one big hilarious joke at her expense. However, the other side of her, the side that was listening to what he said, wanted desperately to fall into his arms and believe every word of it.

The rational side won out. She shook her head and protested, "James, I just don't see how you can be so sure. We fight all the time about the stupidest things. Even when I admit I like you, I end up treating you horribly. It would never work out between us."

Gently, James placed his fingers against her lips to stop her. "I'm sorry, Lily," he interrupted. The bitter disappointment written across his face was almost too much for her. He turned away and crossed back to the doorway, but paused before shutting it. "I've told you before that I don't know how to convince you of my feelings, Lily, but maybe if you let yourself trust me a little bit more, I might surprise you."

He shut the door quietly behind him and Lily moved to the bed, feeling the insidious tug of fear and grief pulling at her heart once more. 'Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut?' she asked herself miserably.

Relieved that her eyes were impossibly dry, Lily moved to rummage through her suitcase. Pulling out the picture of her family, she sat on the edge of the bed and stared at it, running her fingers lightly over the glass. Only a year ago, her parents had been alive, happy, and healthy. It seemed impossible that things could change so much in such a short time. It made her angry, then horribly, horribly sad.

Seeing no other way to distract herself, she changed swiftly into her nightgown before padding over to look at the collection of books. She was intensely tired, but the thought of going to sleep terrified her more than she wanted to think about. Rather than spend an anxious night intermittently crying and tossing around in the bed, Lily opted for escape by reading. She nearly laughed as she read the titles: _What Makes Man Muggle?, Talons of Fire: A hippogriff's story, _and_, _improbably, _Monty Python's Big Red Book._

Lily read until her eyes were itching with weariness and kept slipping closed while her head bobbed uncontrollably. Seeing no help for it and hoping to fall asleep quickly, Lily extinguished the lights and curled herself around a pillow under the covers. The half-moon illuminated a soft fall of snowflakes outside the dark window and Lily watched them feeling very lonely and cold and conflicted.

It was true, James had more than proved that his interest in her was earnest over the past few months. He had been patient and not pushed and had never made her feel uncomfortable with his affection. He had, for the most part, allowed her to take the lead, despite the fact that she was allowing them to progress at half the speed of a flobberworm. It hadn't escaped her notice that James was swiftly turning into a great guy. He was handsome, funny, talented, brilliant; everything a girl could hope for, not to mention the fact that he was incredibly wealthy.

"Any girl in her right mind would jump at the chance to be with him," she reflected to herself. "So what's wrong with me?"

'Am I crazy?' The unspoken question edged across Lily's mind as she worked to understand the entirety of the dilemma.

Digging deeper, she realized that she wasn't remotely indifferent to James. In fact, over the past few months, she had actually grown to like him. Not to mention the fact that their few brief physical interludes had been incredibly satisfying. She knew that she wasn't in love with him, but the fact was that James Potter was quite pleasant company. Even his friends were starting to grow on her, and she found their crazy behavior funnier all the time.

"So what's the problem?" she asked the snowflakes. "What am I so afraid of?" She sat and watched the snow for several silent minutes without coming up with any answers. Because the fact was that she did like James, but her damaged heart didn't feel up to taking chances. What if something happened to James? Lily shook her head. Before last Christmas, she had never thought about people dying.

_James was cutting through a dark alleyway when two dark figures appeared behind him. Lily tried to shout out a warning, but it was too late. The men rushed forward and knocked him down. A jet of purple light erupted from one of the figure's wands and James' body contorted in pain. As he arched his back and writhed in agony, the figures laughed and moved forward to kick him in the stomach. The curse was cut off and James rolled onto his side, gasping and wheezing and clutching his gut. The figure moved forward once more and kicked him again and again, all over his face and body. James spat blood and moaned painfully._

Lily shot up with a start, drenched in a cold sweat. Her breathing felt constricted and she could feel her heart hammering painfully against her chest as she looked wildly around her room. It was still dark outside, the snow was still falling, and her room was empty and silent. She'd been having a nightmare.

Throwing back the covers, Lily raced across the hallway to James' room. Without bothering to knock, she quietly slipped inside and moved to the edge of the bed. Hugging herself around her waist, she panted painfully as tears leaked down her cheeks. She stared at the dark tangle of hair just visible in the moonlight and tried to force herself to calm down.

'He's all right,' she told herself. 'He's in bed sleeping and you ran in here acting like an idiot. This is crazy, Lily.'

Despite her mental admonitions, she still couldn't help seeing him as he had been in her dream: alone in a cold, dark alley with those two figures attacking him. She touched her cheek as she remembered the vivid crunching sound his cheekbone had made as the mysterious figure kicked him in the face. She felt almost physical pain at the memory.

She didn't know how long she stood there, but her tears were finally slowing when she took a few paces forward and sat on the edge of the bed. Setting her hand gently on his shoulder over the blanket, she whispered, "James."

James had woken at the movement of the bed and opened bleary eyes when she called his name. He looked up and saw a dark figure sitting on the edge of his bed, but couldn't quite make out who it was without light or his glasses.

"Yeah?" he replied thickly as his mind began sluggishly analyzing the situation.

"I had a bad dream," she whispered back.

Comprehension dawned instantly and James sat up and gave her a lopsided smile. Reaching over, he squeezed her shoulder and asked, "Are you okay?"

Lily stared at him with wide eyes before shaking her head. "No, James, I'm upset."

"Come here, love," James invited automatically, pulling back the covers.

She slipped into the bed next to him and he drew her back so that he could cuddle her against his chest. To his surprise, he could feel her trembling uncontrollably, and smoothed his hands comfortingly over her soft skin. James was finally beginning to feel more lucid and vaguely wondered if she had done this at home when her parents were still alive. 'Then again,' he thought wryly, 'she probably didn't have too much to have bad dreams about before her parents died.'

Resting his cheek on top of her head, he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Lily cuddled closer to him and put her hand over his, linking their fingers. As if by magic, her heart began to settle from her throat back into her chest and her shaking slowly ebbed. Taking a deep breath, she admitted in a small voice, "I dreamt you were attacked."

James raised his eyebrows at this revelation, but said nothing. "I was watching as they tortured and beat you and I couldn't move or do anything to stop it. I was so scared, James." She looked over her shoulder at him and he smiled.

"I'm okay," he reassured her in a soothing voice. "It was just a dream."

"I know," she replied. "But I like you, James, and it hurt me to see something bad happen to you and have no way to stop it." The powerlessness she had felt washed over her once more and she rolled over and buried her head in his chest.

James gently rubbed her back, even as his heart pounded with excitement. He knew that he felt stronger about her than she did about him, but her presence and physical reaction to the prospect of him being hurt was encouraging. He also did not miss the way she had calmed when he touched her.

Lily let out a small sigh and rubbed her face against the pillows, drying her damp cheeks before looking up at him. "My heart hurts," she told him in a sad, child-like voice.

Tenderly, James reached up to cup the base of her head and kissed her on the tip of her nose. He pulled back to find her relaxing with her eyes closed, the tension that had riddled her face for the past couple of days melting away. "I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry."

She kept her eyes closed as he gently pressed another kiss to her forehead and trailed his lips down across her temples and cheeks. Lily's heart was thudding painfully and she was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe as a vibrant warmth blossomed in her stomach. By the time his mouth found hers, she was squirming against him distractingly. James's own stomach was twisted into hard knots as he ran his tongue over her bottom teeth, drawing a delightful moan from her lips. In response, James deepened the kiss, caressing the inside of her mouth with his tongue. She reciprocated timidly, reaching up and threading her fingers through his hair, rubbing her chest against his provocatively. It wasn't the first time she had done so and James felt a deep chuckle bubbling up in his throat.

He broke off the kiss as the laugh escaped and she raised an eyebrow at him. "How can you complain about my hair when you seem to love touching it so much?" he asked humorously.

Pensively, Lily combed her fingers through his hair and considered the question. "Maybe it's just been growing on me," she suggested thoughtfully. James leaned his forehead against hers, letting out a nasal "ha" at the pun that made Lily giggle. After a moment, she realized that she no longer felt weighed down by sadness. She told him as much and her grinned, rubbing his thumb across her cheek.

"I'm glad," he told her sincerely, leaning in for another kiss. She gave it willingly, but soon shied away.

"We should get some sleep," Lily whispered firmly, not meeting his eyes.

Touching her cheek again, he could feel the warmth in them and knew she was blushing. Trying not to push too hard, he reasoned abstractly, "We have all night to sleep."

"There's not much of it left," Lily pointed out tactfully.

"No more snogging tonight?" James asked sadly.

In response, Lily kissed his forehead before turning over in his arms and nestling her head into the pillow. "Goodnight, James."

He considered pressing his luck. With her back to him, the soft skin of her neck was exposed and his hands had easy access to explore her tempting body. James was fairly confident he could make her start wanting him enough to go further before she got offended or scared, but he refrained. He'd have to be some sort of unimaginable wanker to press her into doing something she was uncomfortable with when she was feeling so vulnerable. Instead, he told her goodnight and pressed a gently kiss against the nape of her neck, causing her to purr and squirm in pleasure.

James lay awake as Lily slowly relaxed and her breathing gradually evened out. He held her close for a few minutes, enjoying the smell and feel of her; the softness of her skin and hair. It was bitter-sweet be able to hold her and touch her, but not go any further, especially when his body was screaming for action. He had already suffered from the effects of their unrequited snogging sessions and mentally groaned at the pain he was facing again tonight.

As gently as possible, James slid his arms out from around her and moved quietly from the bed. Going around to the far side, he gingerly lifted her off the mattress and cradled her in his arms as he made his way to the door. With a quietly spoken word, it silently swung open in front of him and he carried her across the hall to her own room. She didn't stir until he lay her down on the cold sheets, at which point she shifted uncomfortably and one hand grasped weakly at his bare shoulder. Instead of waking, however, she rolled over and curled around her pillow, giving a soft sigh and going still once more.

There was a possibility that she might wake and be upset or scared again, but James didn't want to risk losing control of himself. His chest ached as he left her in her room and went back to his own alone. He laid down, not missing the subtle scent of her that drifted up from the sheets. With a sigh, he reached down into his pants, taking hold of himself and closing his eyes as he sought relief, dreaming of the day that she would be the one to offer it.


	11. Surviving the Holidays

Lily woke once again the next morning in her own bed with the sun shining brightly through the windows. She sat up and rubbed her hair back from her face as she looked around the beautiful room. She had no recollection of returning the night before and was slightly puzzled to find herself there alone.

'Maybe it was all a dream,' she thought to herself, trying to remember what had really happened the night before and only coming up with a few hazy, fractured images. Giving up, she rolled out of bed and padded softly to the bathroom. After a luxurious bath, Lily walked into her room with a fluffy white towel wrapped around her body and her hair hanging down around her shoulders, dripping water. She glanced at the wide windows and felt an accompanying twinge of discomfort as she wondered if anyone could see into her room. She shrugged mentally and moved toward the wardrobe for something to wear.

Suddenly, the door burst open and Sirius strode into the room. "Good morning!" he yelled before stopping dead at the sight of her, his eyes widening and trailing up and down her towel-clad form.

"Sirius!" she shrieked, clutching vainly at the top of her towel as though she could somehow produce more fabric to cover herself with. "_Get the hell_ _out_ of here!" Her face turned distinctly red as Sirius made no move to leave, but simply continued to stare at her as his grin grew steadily wider.

"_Sirius_!" she screamed, stamping her foot angrily when she saw his grin. "Get out of here now, before I call James!"

The handsome young man merely pushed his hair out of his eyes with a low chuckle. "Lily, I had no idea your legs were so long," he drawled smoothly with a wink that made her want to rip his throat out. "Those school uniforms simply don't do you justice."

"Sirius, I am _not_ joking!" she tried once more, practically trembling with rage and humiliation.

"Padfoot, what are you doing?" James called from the hallway, his voice flooding Lily with relief. He walked into the room without seeing her and stopped next to his friend with a quizzical look on his face. Sirius continued to stare fixedly at Lily and James turned to see what he was looking at. His mouth dropped open when he spotted her and he stood and stared as her face flamed painfully.

"Now you know," Sirius laughed at his friend's reaction.

James shut his mouth as his face infused with color and glared at Sirius. "I _asked_ you to come see if she was ready for breakfast, not try to catch her changing," he scolded angrily.

"Sometimes that's the same thing," Sirius reasoned pleasantly.

"Would you guys mind having this conversation somewhere else?" Lily interrupted impatiently.

James jumped guiltily, but Sirius just laughed, grabbing James' arm and leading him to the door. "Of course," he called over his shoulder. "We'll leave you alone to get dressed. Just call us if you need a hand. Trust me, we'd be more than happy to help out."

The door slammed behind them and Lily ran to the bathroom, locking the door and leaning against it. A glance in the mirror told her that her face almost matched her hair and she couldn't remember a time when she had felt so mortified.

Nearly a half an hour later, Lily entered the kitchen wearing a navy long-sleeved t-shirt under a white sweater with dark blue jeans. Her hair was pulled back from her face in a low ponytail and she wore her mother's diamond ring on her left hand, which she had found in one of the boxes Petunia had left for her while she had been getting ready. Sirius and James looked up at her from their coffee cups with identical grins, both of which she pointedly ignored as she crossed the room and tapped the teakettle with her wand.

"Good morning boys," a cheerful female voice chimed from behind, causing Lily to turn quickly. Adele Potter had floated happily into the room and beamed at the three young people as James stood to kiss her on the forehead. With a meaningful glance at Lily, she whispered something pointed to James and folded something into his hand before leaning over to kiss Sirius's cheek.

Straightening, she gave the girl a pretty smile and said, "Hello, dear, how are you doing today?"

For some reason, her words caused a stab of pain to erupt in her chest and she only managed a polite smile as she replied, "I'm fine, thanks, Mrs. Potter."

Adele bustled forward and clasped the younger girl's hand in her own. "You can call me Adele, dear."

Lily felt herself smiling as the woman's gentle tone put her at ease, and she glanced at James who gave her a wink. Adele set James to work getting breakfast for everyone while she brought Lily over to the table. "Aldan had to go out early this morning, dear. He's got a standing chess appointment with Algie Longbottom."

"Nice to be retired, isn't it?" Sirius mused humorously.

"I'm just glad he's had to slow down bowling with Dumbledore," Adele sighed whimsically, accepting a cup of tea from her son with a smile before turning toward Lily with a conspiratorial light in her eyes. "Your Headmaster has no conscience about taking my husband's money betting on ten pins. For Merlin's sake, James!"

Black smoke was spewing menacingly from the stove as James tapped his wand against it hesitantly, wanting to undo the damage while not causing any more. In response, the stove flared brightly, causing him to take a step back. They were saved from a fiery death or any of James's cooking when Katie bustled in. Within minutes, she had put out the fire and was setting out bowls of oatmeal and plates of eggs, toast, and bacon. She set extra bacon next to Sirius with a flirtatious wink and he in turn muttered something that made her blush and chuckle before turning away.

"So, what are the plans for today, children?" Adele asked once everyone was settled. "What sort of mischief are we getting up to?"

James grinned at her and reached across the table to squeeze her hand. "Nothing too reckless today, Mum."

"Actually, Prongs, I think I need to stay in this afternoon," Sirius interrupted gravely. "I'd _really_ like to get a head start on my homework, so…" he let the statement hang, giving James an unobtrusive wink. James gave him a look which clearly communicated that he was going to kill him later on before turning back to smile at his mother.

It did not escape the notice of Lily or his mother that he hadn't actually mentioned anything he expected to do, but they both let it slide as they enjoyed Katie's cooking. They chatted companionably over the meal with James's mother sharing some humorous and occasionally embarrassing stories about James growing up. After eating, Adele excused herself and Sirius shot upstairs, presumably to start on his homework. Katie whisked all of the dishes away and James stood up and dusted his hands together.

"Well, shall we?" he asked with a polite smile, reaching his hand out to her.

Lily smiled and nodded, taking his hand to pull herself up before thanking Katie for breakfast. They moved out in the hall together and James took her quickly to her room before admitting his plans for today. "I thought, if you wanted, we could go visit your mother's grave," he told her quickly.

The warm bubble that had resided in her chest all morning suddenly popped and Lily looked down at the ground. Though she knew where the grave would be, part of her didn't want to go. It felt so final. With tears pricking her eyes, she nodded and moved to get her cloak and boots without a word. She didn't speak to him as they left the house, even when he put a spell on her shoes that allowed her to walk on top of the thigh-deep snow, rather than slog through it.

The graveyard they apparated into was dazzling with the freshly fallen snow and blessedly empty. Lily immediately began crying as she made her way between the silent stones. Without a word, James took her hand and followed at her side, looking around curiously and noticing how muggles and wizards treated their dead in roughly the same way.

Abruptly, Lily stopped in front of two unembellished grave stones lying close together. The names were obscured by a thick layer of snow, but she had visited before when there was only one and knew the place well. She looked up at him sadly and he nodded in understanding, releasing her hand and stepping back to give her some privacy.

Lily knelt in the snow and brushed the frost from the stones, tracing the words she remembered before looking at her mother's headstone. _Rose Marie Evans, Beloved Wife and Mother_. Lily's eyes misted with tears as she read the brief description; just seven short words that could not possibly convey the reality of an entire life.

She didn't know how long she knelt crying and whispering to the cold stones, but James eventually ambled back to tell her it was time to go. Appropriately, the sky had filled with dark clouds, threatening a heavy snow storm. Lily stood stiffly, mopping her face with the handkerchief he had offered and watching as he knelt respectfully before the stones.

To her surprise, James proceeded to dig a shallow hole in the dirt between the headstones and dropped something inside. Looking up at the stones, he covered it, resting his hand on the displaced earth and murmuring something in a low voice. Unhurriedly, he dusted his hands together and stood, taking a step back. With a gentle tinkling sound, a bush erupted from the snow, unfurling bright green leaves while perfect white roses burst into bloom.

"Thank you, James," Lily gasped in surprise, swiftly choked by tears at the tender offering. James held her as the snow began to swirl heavily around them. Unembarrassed, Lily suddenly caught him by the back of his head and kissed him. In response, he gave her a tender smile and kissed her forehead. They disapparated simultaneously and Lily was surprised when she found herself in James's bedroom. James glanced around in amusement before grinning down at her. "I guess that means you belong to me, now."

By the end of Lily's first week in the Potter household, she was beginning to mend. Though the house was enormous, it still managed to feel warm and cozy, and Lily was drawn into the small family just as Sirius had been. She still mourned her parents, but somehow James's parents helped her see that it was okay. For the first time in Lily's life, she was in an environment where she was wholly accepted by the people around her, which was having a remarkable effect.

Several days before Christmas, Aldan tactfully pointed out over lunch that a shopping trip might be appropriate. "Although I know you are always well-prepared, James, other people might not have gotten a chance to do all of their holiday shopping."

He cast a pointed look in Lily's direction and she grinned. "I haven't had a chance to get anything for Sirius," she admitted sheepishly.

"That settles it!" Adele announced firmly. "James, you simply must take her to Diagon Alley, and don't you dare return until she's found something spectacular for Sirius."

"Thanks, mum," Sirius grinned cheerfully, gaining a fond wink from the elderly woman.

The three young people went upstairs after breakfast and parted in the hallway to collect their coats and boots. Lily came out tugging on her green mittens. She was wearing a white pea coat with a green hat that matched the mittens and a green and blue striped scarf wound around her neck. She had also put on green rain boots with blue polka dots on them and tucked her jeans into them. James came out a moment later wearing a long gray wool coat.

"You ready?" he asked with a grin, thinking she looked adorable.

"Absolutely. How are we getting there?" she asked with a pretty smile.

James raised an eyebrow at her and moved close. Putting his arms around her waist and pulling her against him, he replied, "Well, Lily, since we're _wizards_ and capable of doing _magic_, I thought we'd apparate."

A minute later, they appeared before the gleaming white bank, looking around and finding the center of commerce oddly silent as the few shoppers moved skittishly from building to building without stopping to chat. Sirius waved them off, saying he'd catch up with them later and James took Lily's hand and helped her pick her way up the slightly icy steps to the enormous front doors, explaining he was a little short on gold. Lily nodded, feeling the wad of muggle bills in her coat pocket that she needed to exchange for wizard money.

"Perhaps I should just open an account," Lily mused quietly as they moved into the busy lobby.

"Or you could just leave it in our vault," James suggested without looking at her. When he finally glanced up, he found her staring at him and shrugged. "It'd be easier and then you don't have to go through all of that paperwork."

Lily hesitantly agreed, her cheeks blossoming with color as she moved to get her money changed by a goblin with an incredibly long, hairy nose. She had never had the chance to ride on the carts before, though she had heard Frank complain about them several times, and found herself clinging excitedly to James's hand as they careened down the track to vault 687. Her breath left her in a rush as the door was opened and she stared at the glistening mountains of gold. Sheepishly, James stuffed some into a satchel before helping her put hers into a corner. They returned to the surface without a word.

"You really weren't kidding, were you?" Lily finally asked as they stepped out into the dazzling sunshine.

James reached up to uncomfortably rumple his hair. "Not at all. Now, who do you need to get presents for? We can save mine for last so that I can skive off and find Sirius."

"I already got yours, James," she replied quietly, her cheeks turning distinctly pink as she studiously looked into the windows of the nearest shop. His eyes widened in response to this news, but he refrained from commenting as he brought her into one of the closest shops. With his encouragement, she purchased a Lunascope for Remus, a penknife for Peter, and a Put Outer for Sirius as well as several small gifts for his parents. For Alice, she purchased a journal bound in red leather, but refrained to tell him what she had gotten for Frank. Accompanied by a dark frown from James, she purchased a lovely tea set for her sister, with the proprietor's guarantee that it only had a spell to keep dust away.

With James struggling under most of her packages, they moved into the Leaky Cauldron and ordered a couple of drinks, waiting for Sirius to appear. Lily took a deep draught of her butterbeer, giggling as the warming brew spread through her insides before asking, "Where did he go, anyway?"

James merely shrugged, reaching forward to tenderly wipe a bit of foam from the drink off her nose. Lily's eyes softened and she leaned toward him across the small table. His hand slid down to cup her neck and he moved forward to kiss her when a loud, feminine voice cut across the room.

"Why James Potter, fancy meeting you here." A second later, a beautiful woman with blonde hair and bright blue eyes moved into view. She was wearing a cream-colored wool coat edged with brown fur and her hair caught up in a sophisticated coiffure under a matching hat.

Leaning back slightly, James gave Lily an apologetic look before standing and turning to the woman. "Hello, Alexi, you're looking well," he said stiffly, putting out his hand to shake.

"Come now, Jamie," she cried, batting his hand away with a thin, gloved hand, "is that any way to treat an old friend?" And with that she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him exuberantly on the mouth.

Lily, who had stood with James, was roundly ignored as the woman pulled back, still holding him by the arms, and asked after his mother. Lily coughed surreptitiously in an attempt to remind James of her presence and watched as he pulled away with some difficulty to turn toward her.

"Alexi, this is Lily Evans, another old friend," he informed the other woman with a tense smile as he gestured toward Lily.

The woman gave Lily a chill smile as she extended her hand, shaking it limply and pulling away quickly as though she had touched something slimy. Her attitude irritated Lily and she deliberately scooted closer to James, slipping her arm around his waist. Hiding his amusement, James put his arm around Lily's shoulders and gave her a little squeeze, kissing her on the top of her head before turning back to the other woman with a bright grin.

"It's so nice to meet you, Alexi," Lily told her in a falsely cheerful tone. "James invited me to come home with him for the holiday to meet his parents and show me where he grew up." She looked up at him with an intimate smile and could see that he was suppressing laughter, so she looked away quickly lest he start her own.

"Oh really?" Alexi replied in a skeptical voice. "So you two are-"

"We're crazy about each other," James jumped in with a grin as Lily nodded enthusiastically at his side. She reached up to pat his chest with her left hand, unconscious of her mother's diamond ring winking in the murky light of the pub.

"I see," Alexi filled in quietly. After a few more awkward attempts at conversation, Alexi excused herself and exited the store while Lily and James resumed their seats. Once the door closed, they both burst into gales of laughter.

"Who _was_ that?" she asked incredulously.

"Alexandra Dayton, the daughter of one of my mother's oldest and dearest friends," James replied before he glanced around and pulled out his wand, tapping each of their mugs to refill their butterbeers.

"In all honesty, my mother isn't all that fond of Widow Dayton and my dad positively despises her," he continued in a low voice, "but the woman seems to think that our close geographic proximity coupled with the fact that we're both old wizarding families with money means that we _have_ to be close whether we like it or not."

"I see. By any chance did the Widow Dayton have designs on you for her daughter, Mr. Potter?" she asked in an amused tone.

"_No_, why would you think that?" James answered sarcastically.

Lily put her finger on her chin and thought for a moment. "I believe it was when she kissed you and called you Jamie. That's what tipped me off."

James spent the next few minutes enduring some good-natured teasing and finishing their drinks. Once they were done, he helped Lily with her coat and stowed their purchases behind the bar with a quick word to Tom as she put on her mittens, scarf and hat. After that, they headed back out onto the street to look for Sirius.

It was already nearly sunset as James made his way toward the seedier sections outside of Diagon Alley that Lily had never been in before. They moved into the shadowy alley and Lily suddenly found that her stomach was bubbling nervously. Trying to distract herself, she slowed, looking at the odd displays of what looked like human fingernails in one of the shop's windows. James ambled ahead, looking into each storefront for his friend, oblivious to the fact that she was falling farther and farther behind.

Without warning, a dark figure soundlessly stepped out of the shadows in the alleyway behind James. Lily glanced up and felt her stomach drop. She stood in frozen shock for a moment as her dream came back to her in a rush. Before she could react or call out to him, the figure stealthily stole up behind James and lifted a rock to hit him in the head.

Suddenly, James dropped to the ground and swept the man's feet out from under him. Without missing a beat, he reached down and lifted the man by his collar and slammed him against the nearest wall, knocking the breath out of him and bouncing his head against the brick with a painful "_Thwack_".

"Can I help you?" he asked roughly as the man struggled nearly a foot above the ground. Kicking out, the man tried to resist, but James merely slammed him against the wall until he went still. Lily started forward to help, but he shot her a warning glance to stay where she was before turning back to glare at the dazed man.

Consumed by the man in front of him, James was unaware of another figure materializing out of the darkness at his back until it was nearly too late. At the last moment, Lily shouted, "James!" causing him to turn toward the sound of her voice and catch sight of the figure in his peripheral vision. He dropped the man in front of him and reached for his wand.

"That won't be necessary, Potter," a menacing voice warned from the figure still swathed in shadow. Brandishing his own wand, the figure stepped forward to reveal he was wearing a black hood with black robes. "We're just here for a little chat."

"Piss off," James spat before the man behind him seized his arms. James struggled for an instant before he was cuffed sharply across the face and went still, eyes blazing with anger. Lily pressed her hand over her mouth to keep from crying out as James sent her another negative look.

"That's not a very friendly way to start a conversation, Potter," the voice drawled in a familiar way that Lily couldn't place. She began trying to edge closer without their noticing.

"What do you want?" James asked through clenched teeth as the man behind him twisted his arms painfully.

"We merely wanted to speak with you about a business proposition-"

"Yeah, well, I don't much like the way you do business," James interrupted. "So let's skip the pleasantries and allow me to respectfully decline."

The man behind him lifted his leg and kicked James in the back while the man in front of him lazily swung his wand and muttered, "_Crucio_." Purple fire flashed from his wand at James, who instantly howled in pain and was dropped to writhe in agony on the dirty snow. With a carnal whoop, the first man swung out his leg and kicked James squarely in the stomach, causing him to double over in pain.

Seeing this, Lily felt something suddenly snap inside of her. Brandishing her wand boldly, she raced toward them and cried "_Cunjunctivo_!" hitting both of the mysterious men with the curse within seconds of each other. The first man shouted and began to claw at his eyes while the other swore and reached up with his wand hand to rub away the tears that had suddenly sprouted, blurring his vision and effectively cutting off the Cruciatus Curse. A second later, she had disarmed the second man and shouted "_Stupefy_!" sending both men reeling before they hit opposite walls of the alley and slumped to the dirty stones.

James looked up to see Lily standing above him, looking from one side to the other. The air about her seemed to be almost crackling with magic. He groaned and she stooped down to check him, cradling his face in her hands.

"James, are you okay?" she asked in a slightly panicked voice. "You're okay. Please be okay, James!" She hadn't even realized she had been crying until that moment, as James seemed to have lost consciousness.

"I'm so stupid! This is all my fault," she whispered before leaning down to put her ear next to James' mouth. She felt the soft exhalation of breath and sighed with relief before taking his face in her hands again.

Slapping him briskly across the cheeks, she cried, "James, wake up! It's time to get up now, we've got to get out of here."

James heard her voice as though from far away and lifted a hand to push her hands away from him. He felt like he was trying to come up from a great depth as Lily's face slowly swam back into focus. He saw her tears before feeling a drop splash against his face and he reached up to rub another tear away from her cheek.

"Are you okay?" he asked weakly, causing her to grimace and laugh as the tears came harder.

"I'm fine, but we need to get out of here," she replied with some urgency as she looked around once more. With little help from James, she laboriously heaved him to his feet and helped him lean back against the wall.

Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled down his face so that he was looking at her and whispered, "We're going home, James. Think of home."

With a faint smile, he put his arms around her waist and mumbled, "I am home."


	12. Damage control

Lily emitted a small scream as she fell through the air before coming to stop with a bounce on James's bed with him underneath her. She immediately pushed herself up on her knees,straddling him as she anxiously touched his face, crying, "James, are you okay?"

Putting a hand up to gently grasp her wrists, he smiled with his eyes closed and replied, "I'm fine, Lily, but you _are_ squashing me a little bit." He opened his eyes and there was a subtle twinkle in the depths of them as he looked up at her.

She let out a sob of relief as she scooted off of him and sat up, looking around his room in amazement. At that moment, the door banged open, causing Lily to jump and hold out her wand while James was only able to weakly roll his head toward the door as Sirius burst in, peering around frantically.

Catching the pair on the bed, he stopped and rubbed the back of his head ruefully with a nervous grimace on his face. "I heard someone scream and I thought something might be wrong," he explained quickly. "You guys were taking too long, so I left a bit early. I didn't realize you guys had gotten back and were-" he left off on a nervous chuckle.

With effort, James worked to lever himself up, only to have Lily firmly put her hand to his chest and push him back down. Standing, she turned to Sirius and told him a little more sharply than she had intended, "We were attacked when we went looking for you."

Sirius stared at her for a moment before a dark look covered his face and he turned to James. "Where?"

James coughed weakly and replied, "Knockturn Alley. Near Bourgin and Burke's."

Sirius vanished without a word and Lily turned back to James. "What can I do?" she asked helplessly, putting her hand on his forehead, rubbing back his hair.

"Just stay with me for a minute," James told her quickly, catching her hand and kissing it before bringing it down to hold on his chest as he closed his eyes. He wasn't feeling as bad as he had the last time that curse had been used on him, but he had no illusions that it was because he was getting stronger. Obviously, the man hadn't hated him as much as Snape and the duration wasn't as long. He felt like hell, but he didn't want Lily to realize this for fear she might go to pieces.

Lily sat in silence for a moment, gently tracing her thumb over the back of his hand. After a minute, she stood and removed her coat and other effects before gently easing James out of his coat and removing his dripping boots. Resuming her place on the bed beside him, she took his hand again and sat silently staring at him. After a full minute, she leaned forward and quietly said, "James?"

Without opening his eyes, he turned towards her voice and said, "What?"

Chewing her lip, she admitted, "I was really scared."

James squeezed her hand reassuringly. "It's okay. Thanks for saving me," he told her with a weak smile.

"It was just like my dream from the other night, James. It's my fault that this happened," Lily confessed in a shaky voice.

"Right, _you_ told Voldemort to try and recruit me," James answered sarcastically.

"What?" Lily asked in a barely audible voice, her face draining of all color.

With a concentrated effort, James opened his eyes and regarded her seriously. "Yeah, Lily. _Voldemort_. The curse that guy used on me is the Cruciatus Curse. Only dark wizards use it. That is if the hood wasn't any indication to begin with."

Lily bit her lip. She knew what the Cruciatus Curse was. She began shaking as she pulled her hand away from him and put them on her face, fighting the panic welling up inside her. "Oh, god, James!" she cried in a faint voice.

"Lily, stop. Calm down and come here," he commanded, pushing himself up and reaching out to her. She took a step toward him and burst into tears, burying her hands in her face and sobbing. "Shit," James cursed, getting up laboriously and taking a few unsteady steps toward her. He put his arms around her and pulled her against him, resting his cheek against her hair and rubbing her back gently.

"You said shit," she cried plaintively, turning her face away.

"Yes I did," he replied soothingly. "Now calm down."

Suddenly pushing away from him, she hit him on the chest, her face furious and glaring at him accusingly. "Hey," he shouted, taking a step back. She hit him again; then shoved him, causing him to take two more steps back and bump the edge of the bed. He fell backwards awkwardly and yelled, "What the hell, Lily?" from his sprawled position across the bed.

Before he knew what was happening, she crossed the space between them and gently took his face in her hands, raining kisses across his forehead, cheeks and lips. Kneeling on the bed, she straddled one of his legs and began kissing him passionately. James reached up to grasp her arms to try to pull her back, but weakened when she gently nibbled his lower lip.

She pulled herself forward and crossed her legs around his waist, winding her fingers through his hair and pressing her chest against his. James put one arm around her waist and reached up with the other hand to pull the ponytail out of her hair and twist his hand into the silken strands. Lily slid her tongue between his lips and began gently rubbing it against his.

"What the fuck is this?" Sirius asked from the open doorway, causing the pair on the bed to break apart, panting. "I leave you two alone for ten minutes and come back to find you snogging?" His voice was slightly scandalized, but if the grin on his face was any indication, he couldn't have been more proud.

"It's about time you two got around to it," he drawled, leaning against the doorjamb.

James rumpled his hair, uncomfortably aware of the distinct bulge in his pants and his red face, and asked, "What'd you find, Padfoot?"

Sirius pushed himself away from the door and replied, "There was nothing when I got there but some blood and scorch marks and a few people milling about. I couldn't find anything useful."

Lily scrabbled to pull her hair back away from her face and concentrate on what Sirius was saying. "So there's no way for us to know who it was?" she asked quietly.

"I'll give you three guesses," Sirius replied sardonically. "So, what? Are you guys dating now or just snogging buddies?"

"We're engaged, Padfoot," James replied sarcastically.

"Great!" Sirius exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "I call best man!"

"No, Sirius, he's joking!" Lily interrupted quickly, glancing at James, who was looking far more thoughtful about the announcement than she was comfortable with.

"Too late, you already announced it," Sirius cried petulantly. "You can't take it back now!"

"Can you just give us a minute, Padfoot?" James asked on a laugh. Sirius' eyes darted between the pair as he considered the request before making a hasty exit. The couple on the bed sat silently for a moment, not looking at one another.

Finally, James lifted his hand to rumple his hair and looked at her. Without preamble, he asked, "So, what was all that about?"

"I kissed you," Lily replied quickly without looking at him.

"Yeah, I spotted that too," James quipped with a sly grin. "So what happens now?"

Lily looked up at him and smiled shyly, even as tears began puddling in her eyes. Sliding her hand over to his and linking their fingers, she confessed, "I was really scared in the alley James. I thought you might die, and that _terrified_ me. But the whole time, I felt like you were trying to tell me to stay away so that I wouldn't get hurt. You were willing to sacrifice yourself for me. When they s-started using the... the curse on you, something inside me snapped. I don't want to look back and regret not giving you a chance because I was afraid it would be wonderful and I'd lose you. I'd like to see where this goes."

As she made her speech, James had found it increasingly hard to breathe as his excitement grew. Leaning in close, with a handsome grin on his face he whispered, "I knew it!"

Lily pulled back suddenly and hugged herself, her eyes shining with vulnerability. "James Potter, if you've been playing with me this whole time, I'm going to murder you."

James jumped up and grabbed her wrists, tugging her from the bed into his arms and looking down into her face with an irrepressible grin. "No, Lily, I swear. I'm just really excited because you've never admitted it before and I was sure you felt something for me, but you always acted like you hated me or just wanted to be friends, but I could feel it! I could feel it, and I knew-"

Lily cut him off by pulling his head down and kissing him hard on the mouth. He squeezed her tightly before lifting her off the ground, causing her to emit a small squeal ending in a loud laugh. "You won't regret this, Lily," James told her, picking her up again and swinging her around. "I'm gonna make you so happy!"

The couple entered the kitchen hand in hand a few minutes later to find Adele sitting by herself at the table with a cup of tea cradled between her palms. She was staring out the window at the gather dusk with a faraway look in her eyes and didn't hear them as they came inside.

"Hello, mum," James said as he crossed the room to kiss her on the top of the head. "Why are you sitting here in the dark?" He flicked his wand and the light above her sprang to life, bathing the kitchen in a soft yellow glow.

Adele jumped slightly before smiling fondly up at her son and putting her hand to his cheek. "Hello dear, I'm sorry, I was a million miles away just then."

Catching sight of Lily, her smile widened and she asked, "Now what's this Sirius has been saying about a wedding?"

"Sirius is crazy, mum," James replied with an easy grin. He moved to the stove to prepare two cups of cocoa while Lily took a seat across from Adele, smiling gently at the older woman. The pair had agreed it would be best not to tell his mother about the events in the alley and Lily brought up a topic she hoped would be much safer.

"We met an old friend of James' today while we were out, Adele," Lily told her with a smile and a devious look at James. "She was _so_ excited to see him!"

Adele smirked and said, "Yes I know. Waverly already sent me an owl about Alexi meeting you. Apparently, she wasn't too impressed with you, dear, whatever that's worth. However, you really must be more careful, I've already had two reports today that you kids were engaged and I fear my old heart can't take it. Aldan had to send off the note assuring Waverly that she was grossly misinformed while I lay down for a while."

"Why would Alexi think we're engaged?" James asked in confusion, setting a mug in front of Lily and joining the women at the table.

"Probably because of this," Adele told him with a smile as she reached across the table and lifted Lily's left hand, where her mother's diamond ring winked in the fading light.

"It was my mother's," Lily informed her with a smile while Adele examined it with interest.

"Well, that _is_ special, dear. I can see why you would want to wear it," Adele replied kindly. She watched as the younger woman's pretty face grew sad and felt a rush of compassion. "It's hard, isn't it, dear? And it's worse for you not to have anyone to share the burden. I hope you know that we're all here for you."

Lily nodded and fought the tears coming to her eyes as she hid behind her cocoa. Adele suddenly blinked and smiled, reaching over to pat her hand. "I'm sorry, dear, don't mind an old woman blubbering. I was caught up in memories of friends long gone when you two came in, but we needn't spoil the evening reminiscing."

"We understand, mum," James told her reassuringly grasping her hand. "What's Katie doing for supper tonight?"

Adele gave him a watery smile and waved her hand. "Oh, she'll be along in a few minutes. Waverly and the girls should be here in about an hour for dinner, so we'll be eating in the formal dining room tonight."

James leaned back and groaned, "Mum, why?"

Adele dimpled at her son's obvious discomfiture and replied, "Well I didn't want her to think I was hiding anything. It's likely to be in the Daily Prophet the day I let that woman's imagination run wild, and I'm not about to let that happen. If it makes you feel better, your father tried to lock himself in the Vanishing Chest."

"Do I have to wear a suit?" James asked sullenly, conceding his mother's point. He well remembered the times the Dayton family had come over in their frilly frocks and James had been required to wear a formal suit just so they wouldn't think they weren't welcome. He reflected with dread on the hours spent in itchy, constricting get-ups while Alexi and her mother fawned over him with veiled conversation and suggestive winks toward his mother.

Adele smiled and replied, "Well, maybe just a nice button down shirt this time, dear. And do something about your hair, it looks like a bird's nest." She smiled kindly at the old family joke.

"Can I wear a suit?" Sirius asked enthusiastically as he entered the kitchen carrying a box of food and followed closely by Katie.

"You can wear whatever you want, Sirius, dear, "Adele told him cheerfully. "You always look nice in everything."

She turned and winked at Lily, who giggled behind her hand. "Lily, if you don't have anything suitable, the wardrobe in your room should have something appropriate for you. It should know your size."

Lily nodded and lifted her mug to finish her cocoa. After a few more minutes of conversation, Katie chased them out to get ready so that she could cook dinner in peace. Lily, James, and Sirius mounted the stairs together on their way to their rooms.

"Do you know if all three of the ladies are coming?" Sirius asked with a devilish grin as they reached the third floor.

"I assume so," James replied with resignation before shooting his friend a keen glance. "No funny business tonight, Padfoot. Widow Dayton wouldn't let mum live it down if you did something horrible over dinner."

Sirius' maniacal grin merely widened. "I don't think she'd have any objections to a handsome, wealthy young blue blood pursuing one of her daughters. After all, isn't it her dearest ambition in life to see her girls well married?"

"Sirius, no!" Lily and James exclaimed together as they picked up on the vein of his dastardly thoughts.

"I'll convince him," James assured Lily, kissing her temple as they parted in the hallway. He moved to turn away and she grabbed his arm, pulling him back to kiss him lingeringly on the mouth.

James smiled down at her and gently rubbed his knuckles across her cheek. "I'll see you soon," he told her quietly, causing an inexplicable thrill to go through her. She nodded and turned back to her room, aware of his eyes following her until the door closed.

Lily leaned against the door with a dreamy smile before heading to the wardrobe. Inside there was a large array of formal dresses and robes hanging arranged by color. Thumbing through the various frocks, she selected a black silk dress that clung gently to her modest curves. Heading into the bathroom, Lily began fashioning her hair into a loose bun at the base of her neck, overlapping the thick tresses with casual loops.

Half an hour later, James came to collect her wearing formal black robes. Lily opened the door and smiled as his jaw dropped. She was fairly certain she had never worn anything as daring as this in her life and felt her stomach flutter nervously as she waited for him to respond. At that moment, Sirius, the King of Alleviating Awkward Situations, arrived on scene and spotted the pair.

"Holy shit, Lily!" he shouted as he approached the couple. "I call dibs! You'll have to escort someone else to dinner, Prongs." Sirius was wearing a plain white button down shirt with black slacks and dress shoes, his hair falling into his face with casual charm.

"No fucking way," James asserted in a low voice as he protectively put his arm around Lily's waist and began ushering her toward the stairs. Leaning down close to her ear, he whispered, "You look gorgeous."

Lily blushed and smiled shyly at him. "Thank you."

They reached the first floor in time to hear the cavernous echo of the doorknocker banging against the front door. "That must be them," James announced as a grim set came to his eyes. They continued into the front parlor to find Adele waiting sedately on the couch in fresh rose-colored robes with her hair arranged neatly on the top of her head. Aldan was standing resolutely in the corner examining a wide shelf of uniform, blue-bound books with his hands behind his back, acting as though he was certain that if he ignored the situation long enough, it would go away. She smiled in greeting and patted the space next to her for Sirius to join her on the couch while Lily and James took the love seat opposite them.

"Lily, dear, you look lovely," Adele told her with a smile, which Lily shyly returned with quiet thanks.

At that moment, the Potter's elderly servant Bertram entered, escorting three women into the room. The first, presumably Widow Dayton, was a regal woman with a thick head of graying brown hair caught up in a French twist at the back of her head. Her eyes were beady and set close together over a large nose and tiny mouth amid a wide face with heavy jowls. Her ample figure was swathed in deep purple robes lined with black feathers and she wore a matching hat perched atop her head, for all the world making her look like an enormous cartoon buzzard.

Alexi followed immediately behind her wearing a voluminous, midnight blue evening gown with a white fox fur draped casually around her shoulders. Her hair and makeup were flawless, set off by egg-sized sapphires glittering at her throat and ears, surrounded by radiant diamonds. Spotting Lily, she gave an indignant sniff and turned away.

The last girl to enter the room was somewhat less proud of bearing than her sister and mother, wearing pink velvet dress robes with her pale blonde hair pulled back at the sides and falling down her back in gentle curls. She appeared to be several years younger than her sister and was slighter in stature. Her face was delicate and elfin with pale blue eyes and a bow-shape mouth under a small, turned up nose. She regarded Lily with open curiosity and was the only member of the trio who seemed truly friendly.

"Adele, my dear, it's wonderful to see you," Waverly Dayton cried shrilly, rushing over to embrace the smaller woman who had risen from the couch.

"Hello, Waverly," Adele replied cheerfully returning the embrace before stepping back. "You look wonderful, Waverly, dear. Wherever did you get that stunning hat?"

The woman visibly preened at the compliment before turning and waving her daughters forward. "Alexi, Amaryllis, you remember James and Sirius, don't you?" she said with a suggestive smile, refusing to even look in Lily's direction. "Oh, and Aldan! What are you doing hiding in that corner?"

"Just trying to avoid a scene," the older man replied with a wry smile as he finally turned to meet with the group.

Waverly Dayton clutched his hand for a few moments longer than necessary as she looked him over. "Aldan, you must be careful not to work so much. You look overtired."

"I assure you, Waverly, that nothing tires me more than an evening of idle conversation," Aldan said vaguely. The Widow Dayton smiled for a moment before furrowing her brow as she tried to work out the implications of his response.

Pointedly, Adele took Lily's hand and drew her forward. "Ladies, this is James' girlfriend Lily Evans. They go to school together. Lily, this is Waverly Dayton and her daughters Alexandra and Amaryllis."

Lily smiled her greeting at each woman, and was met with disapproving looks and stiff nods from all but Amaryllis, who stepped forward to shake her hand and asked, "Do you really go to Hogwarts? I've always wanted to go, but mother doesn't approve of formalized education." She broke off with a nervous glance toward her mother, and blushed at the outraged look on her face.

"Of course it's okay for boys, Adele," Waverly rushed to assure her as Adele furrowed her brow. "But I think you'll agree that no young lady of _breeding_ and means should be subjected to the system."

"I disagree, Waverly dear," Adele admitted with a frown. "Hogwarts is an exemplary school. I attended myself when the current Headmaster was a professor and found him and the other teachers entirely competent."

"Besides," Aldan interrupted coolly, "it is quite difficult for a young person to maintain a proper education in an unregulated environment since they will be drawn to subjects that they enjoy rather than the ones that are important."

Widow Dayton opened her mouth to protest, but was interrupted by Bertram entering to announce dinner. The tense group made their way to the dinning room. James was seated between Alexi and Lily with Widow Dayton next to her daughter at the end of the table and Sirius was seated beside Amaryllis with Aldan at the head of the table and Adele at the end. Katie and Bertram served the first course before conversation resumed along a safer vein.

James was only listening with half an ear as Widow Dayton told his mother about a garden show she had been to recently when Alexi slid her hand onto his leg under the tablecloth. He clattered his fork against his plate and looked up, catching Sirius's eye, before turning to look at her. Alexi batted her eyelashes at him and began sliding her hand upwards. James reached down and grabbed her hand, pulling it away from his crotch and saying, "Could you please not do that?" in a low voice.

Alexi frowned at him before returning to her meal with a shrug, her mind working furiously to figure out how to win James back. It was obvious to her that Lily was nothing more than a money-grubbing interloper and she was not about to let that girl get between all of her hard work and James' affections.

Lily, meanwhile, was blissfully ignorant of Alexi's tempestuous thoughts as she enjoyed her light salad and Sirius' suave interplay with Amaryllis Dayton, who seemed to be a charming young girl. She was obviously enjoying he attention she was receiving from the older, handsome man, and her flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes made her look even prettier as she hung on his every word.

"So, Lily, _dear_," Waverly Dayton's shrill voice cut across Lily's bemused thoughts. "Tell me about yourself. Are your parents well off?"

Lily turned to the woman with a stiff smile and replied, "My parents are dead, ma'am, so I suppose you could say they're not well off at all."

Mrs. Dayton had the good sense to look shocked at this announcement before covering, "I'm sorry to hear that, dear. I don't believe I knew them. The name is Evans, correct? Now would that be the Evans's of West Sussex?"

Lily shook her head and replied, "No, I'm sure you didn't know my parents, ma'am."

"But surely they were our kind, weren't they?" she pressed further as she lifted her water glass to her mouth.

"I'm not sure what you mean," Lily admitted politely.

The woman furrowed her brow in some consternation at the girl's apparently willful ignorance when Adele cut in. "Lily is muggle-born, Waverly. However, James tells me she's the best student in their year." Adele gave Lily a proud smile, which Lily gratefully returned.

Mrs. Dayton sniffed disdainfully and replied, "I've always worried about my daughters working too hard on their studies. Young men don't like bookish girls. It's like I always say, Adele, men are intimidated by smart women. Not that it's wrong to know things, but it's best not to flaunt it." She gave Lily a pointed smile, which Lily didn't return.

"I'm surprised you would think that James would be subject to such silliness, Waverly. After all, you know how much _I_ value intelligence," Aldan cut in smoothly. "That was one of the main reasons I was attracted to Adele in the first place."

Turning to Lily, he said, "Adele worked as my secretary when I was in the Department of Experimental Magic. She fell head over heels for me within a week, but it took me almost seven years to realize she had any interest, I'm sorry to say.

"That's because you were always more interested in theory than execution, dear," Adele admonished him with a loving smile.

"James must take after you," Lily teased.

"Well, he's clever and certainly looks just like his father, but he does have my strong personality," Adele admitted proudly.

"Not to mention your prowess on the Quidditch field, Adele," Sirius interjected cheerfully.

Waverly Dayton looked on disapprovingly and Alexi held herself disdainfully aloof as Adele regaled the young people with her colorful stories of her Quidditch experiences at Hogwarts. They retired to the parlor for coffee and desert with both Waverly and Alexi working themselves into fine individual rages; the evening was most certainly _not_ going the way they had planned.

Alexi nearly snapped as she watched James sit close to Lily on the divan after handing her a cup of coffee, sliding his arm around her and whispering something in her ear that made her giggle and grin up at him. The angry blonde accepted her cup without even looking at Bertram as she continued glaring at the couple and mentally enumerating the ways she was far superior to that cheeky little interloper.

What she didn't know was what James had whispered was, "I think Alexi is about to explode. She _hates_ you."

Lily giggled and grinned up at him. "She's really possessive, isn't she?" she asked quietly, looking for all the world like a flirtatious little vixen.

"She put her hand on my leg during dinner, I had to move it," he whispered with his mouth against her ear.

Lily gave him a scandalized look before giggling again. Meanwhile, Sirius had challenged Amaryllis to a game of chess and was working at making her lose her concentration by leaning forward so that their heads were nearly touching while she was thinking over her move. An hour crawled by with Lily and James appearing to flirt shamelessly on the couch (they were actually discussing various topics such as his parents, the weather, and music preferences to name a few), Alexi sitting and watching their every move, Adele and Waverly chatting amicably on the couch while Aldan reclined uncomfortably beside his wife checking his pocket watch every few minutes, and Sirius losing chess two to one with Amaryllis.

Finally, Waverly rose from her seat and announced, "Well, girls, I believe it's time for us to take our leave. We old people can't stay up as late as we used to."

The Dayton ladies were seen off with some relief, all but Amaryllis who had been a delightful addition to the dinner party. Adele took herself off to bed almost immediately after their guests departed and Aldan muttered vaguely about needing to do some more work in his study before disappearing. Loosening ties and removing shoes, the three young people went up the three flights of stairs to their own living quarters, idly discussing what they could do before bedtime. Mysteriously, Sirius disappeared once they reached the upper levels, leaving Lily to look at James in amusement while he sighed uncomfortably.

"That wasn't planned," he told her anxiously as he led her to her door.

Lily laughed. "Well, _you_ may not have planned it, but Sirius can be quite devious when he wants to be."

James shrugged uneasily, reaching up to rumple his hair while Lily let herself into her room. His mouth went dry as he watched her walking away, appreciating the way the dress molded to her body from behind. He had already appreciated the view from the front several times during dinner and was quite pleased with this new perspective. To his surprise, Lily sat on the bed and clasped her hands between her knees, looking suddenly sad. Instantly, he was at her side putting an arm around her.

"Are a lot of people like that, James? Will they think I'm not good enough for you because-?"

"We don't really care what they think because people like that are stupid," James interrupted calmly. "If wizards hadn't started marrying muggles, we'd have died out, so there's no family that's really pure-blooded. And I don't care about any of that, obviously."

"Obviously?" Lily replied vaguely. For some reason, the word made her angry. It made her feel like he was doing her a favor... "My head hurts, James."

Surprised at the sudden change of emotions, James blinked, then nodded. She was holding herself stiffly against his touch and carefully avoiding his gaze, a sure sign that something was wrong. Feeling more than a little hurt and confused, he said, "All right. I'll just go, then. Goodnight." She made no answer as he kissed her temple and left her alone with her thoughts.

Author's Note: Okay guys, I've been working very hard and am fairly pleased with the results. I hope you are as well. Timelines are tricky when I don't have all the information, but I'm working it out as best I can. Christmas is next which means a brand new chapter, so hooray!


	13. A very hairy Christmas

The following day was spent helping to prepare the house for Christmas and guests. The Potter's Christmas Ball had been a tradition almost since time immemorial. For generations they had opened their house and arms to friends and distant relatives for feasting and celebration late into the night. Despite the attacks and tension in the wizarding community, many people were still planning to attend; hoping to dispel their anxiety about the dangerous political atmosphere for a few hours at least.

Though Lily had been stunned when James's parents had shown her into the massive ballroom, she had gone to work beside Aldan with a will, bewitching the trees and decorations that the boys brought in with glimmering lights, colorful streamers, and enchanted snow, letting her imagination and talents run wild. They were all exhausted by the time Katie called them for supper, but Sirius and James did their best to keep up an interesting dialogue throughout the meal.

The sun had already been down for an hour when they finished supper and Lily excused herself to go upstairs. Exhausted as she was, once in her room she pulled on her boots, cloak, hat, gloves, and scarf, preparing for a short journey. She had just finished winding the scarf around her neck when James turned up in her doorway, leaning against the frame and giving her a curious stare.

"Where are you headed, love?" he asked as innocently as he could manage. For some unknown reason, she had been frosty toward him all day and he wanted to be careful not to sound the least bit offensive for fear of setting her off.

"Just... out. I have some things I need to do," she replied evasively, refusing to meet his eyes for the thousandth time that day.

James nodded noncommittally, straightening and taking a step into the room. "Would you like some company?"

Under the pretense of straightening her gloves so that she wouldn't have to look at him, she shook her head. "No, James. I think I can manage."

"Did I do something, Lily? Something to make you angry? Because as far as I knew, we were fine up until last night. You've hardly said two words to me today and I can't, for the life of me, figure out what I did, which makes me think you're just crabby about dinner last night. I know the Dayton's are pains in the ass, but I wish you wouldn't take it out on me," he blurted quickly.

His honesty irritated her further and she finally met his gaze, her green eyes snapping peevishly. "Not everything is about you, James."

"Are you suggesting that this has all been my imagination and you've behaved perfectly normally today?" he shot back, his voice raising slightly in outrage.

"You're the one who's jumping to conclusions. You're not in control of everything I do," Lily replied coldly.

"Well _that's_ obvious," James snorted in disgust, his temper getting the best of him.

Lily glared at him spitefully, heat rising to her cheeks. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I dunno, Lily, maybe I think I could do a better job."

Abruptly, she spun away from him, marching over to her night table and stuffing her wand in her pocket. "This argument is getting ridiculous."

"Well maybe we need to have a ridiculous argument so you'll give me a clue about what the bloody hell is going on," James cried defensively.

Lily whirled on him, her face a storm cloud and her eyes glinting with painful tears. "In case it escaped your notice, both of my parents _died_ this year! I've lost my sister and the only home I've ever known and come to live with someone who, for the last six years, I couldn't stand the sight of! Forgive me if I don't appraise you of every step I take!"

"If it bothers you so much to be here, then leave! No one's keeping you!" James shouted, instantly regretting the rash statement.

They glared at one another for several moments, each lacerated painfully by the angry words. Lily was the first to look away as the hot tears she had been trying so hard to control lost their battle with gravity. Seeing her tears, regret clawed at James's chest and he instantly crossed the space between them and put his hands on her arms.

"I'm sorry, Lily. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that," he murmured in a low, choked voice. "I don't want you to leave. I just don't like when you're mad at me and whenever I point it out, it only makes it worse. If you need space, you can just tell me, but I worry about you going out by yourself when you don't give me any clue of where you're headed. It's not safe out there."

Lily laughed morosely and closed her eyes, pressing the heels of her mittened hands against them to stem the flow of tears. "It's not really safe anywhere, is it James?" Finally, she wiped her eyes and looked up at him, her anger replaced by hurt and confusion. "I just need to go take care of a few things. _Muggle_ things. And I'd like to do it alone."

His hazel eyes shone with unhappiness, but he slowly nodded. "Just... be careful, okay?"

"I never thought I'd hear those words coming from your mouth," Lily laughed quietly, trying to smile so that he wouldn't look so anxious. For the first time since she'd moved in with the Potters, she felt stiff and uncomfortable with him. "I should be back in about an hour."

"Take the mirror with you," James prompted earnestly. "And if you run into any trouble, just give it a tap. We can be there in a blink."

"I _know_, James," she replied shortly, starting to get annoyed by his mothering. Sensing her irritation blooming once more, James kissed her forehead before taking a step back, watching her guardedly. "I'll be back."

"You'd better be."

With a sharp crack that clearly conveyed her emotions, she disapparated. An instant later, she was outside a neat brick cottage that looked like all the others on the block. Every light in the house was twinkling merrily and she could hear the sounds of music and laughter floating faintly from inside. Gathering her courage and pulling out a brightly wrapped parcel, Lily rang the bell.

Her sister opened the door, flushed with happiness and a bit too much wine, but her laughter and light mood evaporated at the sight of the young woman in a black cloak on the doorstep. Without a word, she stepped outside and snapped the door shut behind her. "What the _hell_ are you doing here?" she whispered harshly.

Deflated, Lily held up the package lamely. Her sister looked at it like it was a dead animal. "Happy Christmas, Tuny."

"I don't want it," the older girl snarled angrily.

Impatiently, Lily pushed it into her hands. "Just take it, Petunia. It's a _gift_. It doesn't bite."

"Well, I don't need any of _your kind's_ rubbish in my house!" she shot back, returning the package forcefully.

"For God's sake, it's a _tea set_, Petunia," Lily sighed, trying to keep her voice down. "It's not like it's going to start floating around the room darting at people's heads."

Abruptly, the older girl ripped open the package and lifted the lid of the box. A delicate china set painted with pink flowers was nestled between folds of silk. She lifted a single tea cup, eyeing it suspiciously. Suddenly, the door behind her opened and Vernon stuck his head out, causing her to drop the tea cup in surprise. There was a sharp tinkling of broken glass as he glared at Lily.

"What's _she_ doing here?"

"I didn't invite her, she just... showed up!" Petunia hissed irritably.

Lily didn't need to ask why Vernon was looking at her like she was an escaped mental patient. "You told him?" she whispered furiously.

Petunia spun to glare at her. "He happens to be my _husband_, Lily. Do you expect I'd keep something like this from him?"

"Yes! You kept it from him _before_ you were married. Why not after?" Lily shot back angrily.

Vernon turned a violent shade of purple as he shoved himself in front of his wife, aggressively poking his finger under her nose. "You don't talk to her like that!"

"_You_ don't talk to me!" Lily shouted in return, her eyes blazing so ferociously that it caused the big man to pause before anxiously glancing up and down the street.

"Get out of here, Lily," Petunia ordered coldly. "I _don't_ want your presents and I _don't_ want you popping around screwing up my life."

"Right, because _that's_ what this is all about," Lily bit out sarcastically. Angrily, she pushed the box into her sister's hands and bent down to lift the cup, which had reassembled itself on the icy concrete. When she moved to shove it in the box, both people cringed as though she was holding a viper.

Taking hold of the box, Vernon thrust it back toward her and dropped it at her feet when she wouldn't accept it. With nothing but a parting glare, he grabbed his wife and slammed the door in her face, sliding the locks into place before marching back to his party. Furious, Lily seriously considered blowing the door open, but quickly saw the futility of such an action. Instead, she waved her wand over the broken bits of glass that were edging their way back together, causing them to vanish. That done, she disapparated with such a loud crack that doors up and down the street flew open and the dinner guests inside number four paused and looked around before being anxiously distracted by their hosts.

Lily arrived a moment later in a dark cemetery directly before her parent's graves. Vaguely, she registered the fact that the bush James had planted was still blooming beautifully though it was frosted with snow. Heedless of the icy drifts that covered the ground, she knelt, whipped out two small presents, and set them down before the headstones. She was shaking with fury, but knew there was no one around to see it.

"She is _so_ impossible," Lily finally whispered angrily, hot tears crowding her eyes. "You'd think I was trying to give her a chimera with the way they was acting."

There was no response, but Lily slowly felt herself calming. Her parents had always had that effect on her. "I'm living with James. Well, his family. It's going okay..."

She spoke to the cold headstones for a long time, pouring out the past week as though they could actually hear her. She knew they were gone, but it still felt better to _feel_ like there was someone older and wiser to talk to about her experiences. At length she rose, brushing the twin wet spots on her knees and smiling at the graves, promising to return soon. Her heart was much lighter as she apparated back to the Potter Manor.

She blinked as she looked around at James's room. In her short time living with them, she had only been inside a couple of times, and had been quite distracted during the visits. With some surprise, she realized that it was really quite clean and organized with heavily laden bookshelves lining nearly every wall. She was given no more time to be nosy, though, as the door burst open and both James and Sirius strode in. The first was livid. The second was only slightly concerned.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" James growled fiercely.

Lily was completely unintimidated by his obvious anger and simply stepped past him. "What does it matter? I'm back safe and sound."

"Said like a girl who doesn't think Santa will put her on the naughty list so late in the game," Sirius interjected wryly. Lily raised an eyebrow at him as she passed by. "There's always next year, Lily. You should be more careful."

James's hand snapped out like a whip and caught her wrist, dragging her to a halt with surprising force. "An _hour_, Lily. You said you'd be gone for an hour! It's nearly midnight."

Though she was spoiling for a fight, she forced her eyes to the ground and quietly told him, "James, you're hurting me."

Rather than drop her wrist, James hauled her backwards until she was standing in front of him while Sirius beat a casual retreat. He finally released her, only to firmly take hold of her upper arms. Lily kept her eyes trained stubbornly on his chin. He opened his mouth several times to speak, only to close it again.

After what seemed like a ridiculous amount of time, he let go of her and walked out of the room. Confused, Lily raced after him and grabbed his hand. "What's this about, James?"

"I don't want to fight with you," he admitted heatedly, drawing away from her touch for the first time.

Lily stared at him in surprise. "Since when?"

"Since always, Lily," he replied, his hazel eyes sparkling with frustration. "I _hate_ fighting with you. I _like_ when we get along. So even though you scared the _piss_ out of me, it's not worth fighting about."

"I _want_ to fight, James," Lily cried quickly, not even sure why.

"What did you do tonight?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and giving her a mulish look.

"That's none of your business," she said immediately.

"You know what? Fine!" James replied abruptly. Grabbing her by the waist, he threw her over his shoulder, accompanied by her shouts of outrage. Heedless of her bids for freedom, he marched into her room and dropped her onto the bed. Spinning on his heel, he moved back to the door and slammed it behind him. She was about to rush out to give him a piece of her mind when he called: "We can talk in the morning., _Goodnight_ Lily."

By Christmas morning, Lily's bad mood had blown out and she contritely snuck into James's room to wake him and tell him the good news. With the curtains drawn, the room was bathed in shadow and she crept carefully around furniture before launching herself on top of him on the bed. James gave a shout as he was tackled out of sleep and was more confused than anything else when the small body straddling him was considerably lighter than Sirius's.

"Happy Christmas, James!" she sang softly into his ear as he burrowed down further under the covers. When he tried to remain hidden, Lily saw no other choice but to drop a hail of kisses on every available inch of face, neck, and ear that she could find. James couldn't help grinning into the pillow as she caught his earlobe between her lips and nibbled gently.

"Happy Christmas!" Sirius bellowed from the doorway as he threw himself across the room and bounced on top of the couple in the bed. This elicited several screams and a short wrestling match which ended in Sirius pulling James out from under the blankets by his ankles to plop none-to-gently on the floor. "Presents, mate!"

Giggling with excitement, Lily allowed Sirius to take her hand and they ran down the stairs with James stumbling sleepily in their wake. Adele and Aldan were already sipping tea in the parlour, which had been transformed into a winter wonderland over night. They beamed as the teenagers burst into the room like children, eagerly exchanging hugs and kisses before taking seats and reaching for presents.

Lily was pleased to find that her purchases from Diagon Alley had somehow turned up under the tree, wrapped and ready for their recipients. She was also surprised to find a few presents with her name on them. In honesty, she hadn't expected anything this year after receiving a premature gift from James, but she received a lovely silver brush and mirror set from James's parents, a new scarf from Alice, and a brightly wrapped box dubbed _Dating Survival Kit: James Potter Edition_ from Sirius, Peter and Remus. The kit included a quidditch reference guide, a lock of James's hair, a very large mallet, a spare set of James's knickers (for emergency use only), and several bottles of potion including veritaserum, felix felicis, and a draught of ignusatum.

After opening her small pile of presents, she leaned back to watch the boys finish off theirs, laughing uproariously at their reactions to the gifts. Sirius was quite pleased with the Put Outer and she shuddered to think of the new avenues of mischief she had opened up to him. James, in turn, was thrilled with the set of muggle philosophy books she had ordered after catching him reading Nietzsche before Halloween.

Thanking her warmly, James leaned over and pressed kiss to her cheek, deftly dropping a small box wrapped in blue paper with a green bow into her lap. She stared at it blankly for a moment before tugging at the ribbon and shooting James a suspicious glance. She lifted the lid to find a beautiful pale sapphire necklace nestled inside and instantly looked up at him questioningly.

"James, what...?"

He reached up to rumple his hair, smiling self-consciously. "I just saw it the other day and felt like you had to have it," he said by way of explanation.

Lily thanked him softly and bit her lip, unaware of their eager audience. James gently took the necklace from the box and leaned forward to clasp it around her neck. She was blushing fiercely by the time he moved back, but her eyes were lit with a gentle light as he kissed her. By the time she had thanked him, the other members of the household had managed drag their eyes away from the spectacle and at least appear preoccupied elsewhere. It wasn't long afterward that Aldan suggested they retire to the kitchen for something to eat.

After an enormous breakfast, the three young people ran upstairs to shower and change into warm clothing for a bracing snowball fight in the hedge maze. They had just entered the shelter of the bushes when a heavy snowball pelted the back of James's head, knocking him forward several steps and sending his glasses flying into the knee-deep snow.

"Padfoot!" he bellowed angrily, standing perfectly still while Lily retrieved his glasses and carefully wiped them on her cloak.

"It wasn't me, mate!" Sirius denied quickly, turning back and catching sight of the corner of a cloak peeping out around the edge of the bushes. With a devilish grin, he stalked forward and tackled Remus into the snow. "Moony! I didn't think we'd see you before tonight!"

"Geroff me, Padfoot!" Remus shouted, struggling valiantly as his friend worked to cheerfully shove snow down the front of his clothes. "I didn't hit _you_!"

"Doesn't mean you weren't aiming for me, mate," Sirius pointed out wryly just before he got a handful of snow rubbed into his face.

Lily gently placed James's glasses back on his nose, ignoring the antics of his two friends while she reached around to scoop the rapidly melting snow off the back of his neck and head. He smiled down at her appreciatively as her face swam into focus and she suddenly found herself blushing. Amused by her bashfulness, James put his hand on her cheek and leaned down to kiss her. Before his lips could brush against hers, a load of snow dumped over their heads, accompanied by Sirius and Remus's raucous laughter. Using her wand, Lily hurled an entire drift at them before James caught her hand and pulled her further into the maze.

They slogged through the labyrinth as quickly as they could manage. It wasn't difficult to evade Sirius and Remus as they made a lot of noise taking turns shouting at one another and for their prey. It wasn't long, however, before their voices started to fade into the distance as James led Lily toward the heart of the maze. Lily did her best to keep her giggles under control as he dragged her after him, but was surprised when he suddenly whirled around and pressed her gently into the hedge. The laughter died in her throat as he looked down at her with such a warm intensity that it sent her heart careening against her rib cage.

James could feel the pounding of the pulse in his ears as he looked down into her pretty face. He had so many things to say to her in that instant that her didn't know where to start. Reaching up with his bare hand, he tenderly brushed his fingers down her cheek, causing her eyes to slide closed as she sighed and smiled. "Lily, I-"

"Just kiss me, James," she interrupted in a soft voice. When he eagerly obliged, her heart melted. She lost all sense of time and temperature as he reached up to frame her face with his warm hands. Moving his lips tenderly against hers, he bit, licked, and sucked by turn, causing a whirlwind of pleasure to erupt in her stomach. She pulled him against her, ignoring the uncomfortable pressure of the foliage at her back and registering her first irritation at the obstacle their clothes presented during these intimate situations.

After far too brief a time, James broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers. With his eyes closed and his breath coming in short puffs, he smiled and shook his head. "You drive me crazy."

"Thank you for returning the favor," she quipped lightly. "I'm sorry for being in such a temper for the past couple of days. At first I was just being childish, but then I went to go see my sister and it just... made it worse."

Tears sprang to her eyes as she remembered the showdown with her sister and James tenderly wiped them away with his thumbs, giving her an encouraging look. When she hesitated, he took her hand and suggested they take a walk. Somehow it seemed easier to talk while they were moving and, at length, she explained all that had transpired. When she was done, she could feel him studying her and she felt her cheeks heat under the scrutiny.

"And that's the big secret," she concluded lamely.

"You could have told me," James pointed out quietly.

Lily nodded before looking at him. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Is it getting dark?" he asked as he looked around the suddenly shaded corridor. They stared around at the gloomy space emanating around them for nearly five feet on all sides before looking up to find a massive cloud of snowballs hovering in the sky twenty feet over their heads.

"Did you think you had _escaped_?" Sirius cackled maniacally as he sent the first of the projectiles whizzing toward the pair. Lily and James had no choice but to run for cover from their friend's limitless assault. The sun was sinking low in the sky and the four young people were nearly frozen solid by the time Aldan called them inside. Guests would be arriving within an hour, so that left very little time for them to defrost and make themselves presentable.

Lily's dress robes were a dusky periwinkle with black floral embellishments and the necklace she had received from James hung daintily from her neck. After dressing and curling her hair, she went out to meet the boys, finding all four Marauders lounging patiently in James's room. He and Sirius were wearing similar black robes, but Remus's were deep blue and Peter's were a bright, merry green. She also noticed as she hugged him that someone had taken pains to attach several jaunty Christmas bows to the back of them, of which she suspected he was blissfully unaware.

They moved downstairs to join the throng in the ballroom and Lily was immediately introduced to Peter's mother. Mrs. Pettigrew was a fat, pleasant-looking witch with her son's pointy nose and round face. She was wearing bright red robes, liberally embroidered with green holly and tinkling with a mass of small bells. Despite her cheery attitude, Peter seemed desperate to get away from her and she fawned copiously over her son.

Once they had disentangled themselves from the elderly witch, the boys, who were nearly always hungry, made a quick dash for the tables that were practically groaning under the weight of the delicious holiday food. Lily smiled as she watched them until another young person caught her eye. Severus had appeared beside his mother, a tall slim woman with black hair and a sharp, angular face, and both were regarding the festivities with guarded indifference. As she looked about, she noticed other people in attendance that she would never have suspected the Potters to be in contact with.

"One of the drawbacks of wizard breeding, I'm afraid," Remus spoke up from his place beside her. She turned to look at him questioningly and he nodded toward the crowd. "When you come from old blood like James, you tend to be related to nearly everyone in some way or another. When that happens, you can't pick and choose who you invite to events like this because you run the risk of offending people and that could be dangerous. Especially now, you could get targeted. Even still, most of them don't want to be here and wouldn't have come if it hadn't been all about keeping up appearances. Aldan has good defenses, though, so there'll be no trouble tonight."

"Are you saying some of these people could be in league with You-Know-Who?" she asked in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

Remus nodded mutely, his eyes still scanning the crowd. After a moment, he smiled at her. "There are always the positive sides too, though. See those boys over there? Those are the Prewetts. Good family. Gideon and Fabian were a few years ahead of us at Hogwarts. And the Bones's, the McKinnons, the Weasleys, the Longbottoms, of course... there's Dumbledore dancing with Adele..."

For some reason, it struck her funny to see the Headmaster towering over James's slight mother, whirling her through a brisk waltz. She was given little time to reflect, however, when Remus asked her to dance. She smiled and accepted, trying to catch James's eye over his shoulder as he led her out onto the floor. She quickly lost track of her real date when her next four dances were claimed by his father, Horace Slughorn, the Headmaster, and Sirius, all of whom were doing their best to be charming partners.

By the time she had finished dancing with Sirius, she was quite out of breath and in need of refreshment. He led her to the side of the room as the orchestra paused and someone began playing an intricate piano solo. Lily giggled when she looked up to see James's familiar, unruly head bent over the keys, his fingers flying like some sort of demonic musician. Most of the guests had stopped moving and stood in small groups listening and commenting. Only one couple was trying to dance to the breakneck melody and Lily felt a distinct twinge of pity for Peter as Tonks did her best to drag him through the steps.

"It's sad, really, how some people don't care about looking foolish," a brusque voice spoke harshly from behind them. Lily turned and found herself nearly face to face with a younger version of Sirius. She had seen Regalus Black at school before, but had never been this close and realized, besides the shorter haircut, cold eyes, and sneering mouth, he could be his brother's double.

Sirius's face had instantly darkened at the sight of the younger boy and he glared at him openly. "What are you doing here?"  
"I was _invited_, Sirius. Salazar knows mother couldn't come with," his brother told him before turning away dismissively. "Still, she thought it appropriate to send _someone_ to represent the Black family."

"So the happy task fell to you," Sirius replied sarcastically, "and I'm absolutely certain the Potters are thrilled to have the most noble and ancient house of Black represented."

The young boy seemed to be getting a little worked up by his brother's needling and turned to glare at Lily. "It should be _your_ duty, Sirius. Are you keeping company with mudbloods now?"

Sirius's fist made contact with his brother's face with a loud crunch that sent the boy reeling. He cheerfully took Lily's arm and steered her away as though nothing had happened.. "Now, let's get you that drink."

Lily couldn't help staring behind her in concern as Sirius led her to the bar, where he ordered her a champagne and himself something a little stronger. He was knocking back his second when James finally returned to attend his date. A look of silent communication passed between the two and Sirius put down his drink.

"Don't get pissed like last Christmas, Padfoot. Dad wasn't happy when he had to help me carry you upstairs," James warned quietly.

"At least his mum's not here so you know there won't be any screaming matches," Peter interjected cheerfully from Sirius's other side. His arrival crowded them a bit, so Lily carefully set her glass on the bar to avoid being jostled and spilling. She turned to ask James a question and caught Remus glaring over her shoulder.

"Looking for something, Snape?" he called in a confrontational voice. Lily looked around to find Severus slipping something inside his sleeve as he reached for a glass, refusing to reply as he stalked back to his mother.

"What's he doing lurking around here?" Peter asked crossly.

James caught Lily's hand as she drank the last of her champagne, tugging her away as he called, "Can't help who we invite, mate. Just keep Padfoot out of trouble."

Lily was feeling slightly tipsy as she followed after him, giggling as he led her across the room. They slipped out into the chilly night air and she gasped in surprise as she took in the twinkling lights and ice crystals that Adele had painstakingly constructed the day before. For some reason everything looked intensely beautiful tonight.

Guiding her to a secluded alcove, James pulled her into his arms and leaned down to kiss her. She tittered as she dodged him, staring dreamily at the wall as he settled for a hug. "You look... so beautiful tonight, Lily," he told her earnestly.

"Thank you, James," she replied softly. "D'you always invite Severus and his mum for Christmas?"

James shrugged, reaching down to put his hand on her cheek. She smiled up at him, but the light didn't touch her eyes, which seemed oddly out of focus. James laughed and kissed her forehead. "What did Sirius give you?"

"D'you think Severus would dance with me if I asked him?" Lily asked suddenly, stepping away from him. "I think I'll go ask."

James caught her hand as she pulled away, looking at her with confused and suspicious eyes. "Snivellus is bound to do anything you ask him. What's got into you tonight?"

Lily suddenly spun, ripped her hand away from him, and gave him an angry glare. "Don't you dare make fun of him, James Potter! Severus is a wonderful person and you're just jealous!"

"How can you say that? He attacked us both and used one of the Unforgivable Curses on me!" he reminded her forcefully as he raced after her.

Lily waved him away impatiently as she reached for the door handle, but James's hand shot out and held it shut. Furious, she whirled and slapped him across the face with all her strength, throwing his glasses askew and drawing tiny prickles of blood from his cheek. "Leave me alone, James! I need to get to Severus..."

She was fumbling with the door again when he hit her from behind with a stunning spell, sending her slumping, unconscious, into his arms. Something was definitely wrong. Unsure of himself, James heaved her up so that he could carry her, but hesitated before returning to the ballroom. In this day and age, the sight of him carting a limp body through the crowd was sure to set people panicking about attacks. Rather than risk it, he disapparated, turning up a moment later in his room.

He laid her on the bed gently, smoothing back her hair and looking into her face to make sure she wasn't about to wake up. As an extra precaution, he tied her wrists to the bedpost; it certainly wouldn't do to have her wandering around in such a violently impulsive state. That done, he apparated into the ballroom a moment later and set about finding his friends. Dumbledore found him first.

"Slow down, James, you look frantic," he chuckled, catching his sleeve as James raced past him. "Is there a problem?"

James hesitated for a moment before blurting out the whole encounter. Dumbledore had always been friendly and lenient with him, not to mention the fact that he was the most respected wizard of the age. Surely he could help if anyone could. The headmaster's twinkling blue eyes grew deadly serious as he heard the explanation and he quickly asked James to take him to see Lily. When Dumbledore brought her around, she seemed foggy and disoriented until she caught sight of James. At that point, she came alive, screaming out a string of profanities as she lashed out at him with her feet.

"Interesting," Dumbledore muttered curiously, leaning forward to put her under again. When he straightened, he shot James a serious look. "Well, she certainly seemed unhappy with you, didn't she? And you say she was desperate to get to Severus?"

James nodded, taking a seat beside her and brushing her hair out of her face. "She hit me. _Hard_. She's not done that for a long time."

"If it makes any difference, I don't think she meant it, James," Dumbledore informed him with a small smile. "I believe your encounter has been the result of meddling rather than a change of heart on her part."

"What does that mean, Headmaster?" James asked hopefully, glancing at the wand in his mentor's thin hand. "Can you fix her?"

Dumbledore smiled enigmatically and squeezed the young man's shoulder. "I've spoken to your mother and she seems fairly convinced that Miss Evans is falling in love with you, though she probably doesn't know it yet. I suspect this evening's minor setback is the result of a love potion."

Comprehension dawned quickly and James glanced up to find the Headmaster's eyes twinkling compassionately. "Nothing a good rest won't cure, I assure you. Although, if you're anxious for a speedier recovery, I'm sure your father would allow Horace access to his laboratory and he could whip up an antidote for one of his favorite pupils so that she can return to the party."

"Would you ask him, Professor?" James asked earnestly. "I don't reckon she likes being like this very much, either."

"Probably not," Dumbledore agreed. "I shall ask him directly."

After the Headmaster left, James could do nothing but watch her anxiously. Even when Remus and Peter entered dragging a very boisterous and musical Sirius between them, he was only able to give them half of his attention. Peter abandoned Remus to take a seat on the other side of the bed before looking anxiously up at James. "Is she all right? Why's she all tied up?"

James shrugged.

"What happened, Prongs?" Peter asked timidly.

At that moment, the rotund potions master bustled into the room, an anxious frown creasing his benign face as he took in the unconscious girl on the bed. He completely ignored Sirius's exuberant greeting as he strode across the room and removed a small vial of green liquid from his robes. "Well, well Potter, stand aside. We'll get our little Lily fixed up in two shakes of a sphynx's mane. It's lucky I always keep a store of this at school after that nasty outbreak of love potions twelve years ago. Yes, I remember it well-"

"Professor, couldn't you please just-" James interrupted anxiously.

The older man's eyes widened in surprise and he turned back to his student. "Oh, right, I suppose you'll want to be sure... ahem..."

He administered the draught quickly and they anxiously watched her face before James asked, "Should I wake her up now?"

"Yes, Potter, I think that would be best," Slughorn affirmed briskly. "Good heavens! Why did you have to stun her in the first place?"

"She was a bit violent, Professor," James explained, pressing the tip of his wand to her chest with a gentle "_Enervate."_

Lily blinked in confusion and squirmed slightly before realizing that her hands were bound above her head. The evening's events suddenly tumbled back into her mind and she tried to sit up, but couldn't manage with awkward angle of her arms and the bulkiness of her dress. Panicked, she took in the boys waiting around the room before meeting James's anxious gaze. "Are you all right, James? Did I hurt you?"

"A full recovery," Slughorn announced pleasantly, reaching forward to give Lily an affectionate squeeze. "I believe we can dispense with the restraints..."

He waved his wand and Lily's wrists were suddenly released, allowing her to launch herself into James's arms. The potions master tactfully motioned for the rest of the Marauders to follow him out of the room to give the young couple a bit of privacy. James was feeling a bit overwhelmed as Lily caressed his face and kissed him repeatedly, telling him over and over again how sorry she was.

"I really didn't mean to, James, I was just getting a nip to drink and then something came over me and I was so fuzzy and angry, but I had to find Severus because I wanted to-"

"I don't think I need to know that part," he interrupted quickly.

Lily pressed her lips together to stop the onslaught of words and smiled ruefully at him. "I really am sorry, James."

"I know," he replied patiently. His face quickly lit with a sly grin. "So why do you think Snape slipped you a love potion?"

Lily shook her head before looking at him seriously. "Honestly, James, it was probably the best way he could think of to hurt you."

James folded her into his arms once more and rested his cheek against her hair, not wanting to think about how accurate his enemy's aim had been. Every day he found himself becoming more attached to her, so much so that he was beginning to forget what life had been like without having her nearby. Because of this, Lily's vulnerability was quickly turning into a big problem. As a muggleborn _and_ his girlfriend, she had become a target from both sides. It was something that he was determined he and his friends would fix before the end of the holidays.


	14. The more you ruv someone

Lily's wand flew out of her hand and she hit the floor of the common room with a painful bump, missing the mountain of pillows they had piled behind her for the seventh time and wincing tenderly as James offered her a hand up. Since she presented such a tempting target, James had decided to teach her the basics of self-defense. The day after Christmas, he had started her on a training regimen that involved dueling, mastering new offensive and defensive spells, identifying the effects and treatment of various potions and poisons, and even old-fashioned muggle sparing. Over the last few weeks she had proven that she was generally proficient in her spell work, but still unable to block more than two or three attacks in a row during a duel and pretty much hit like a girl.

"You can do better than that, love. That was a simple disarming spell," he told her gently, handing over her wand with a smile.

"Remind me again why I let you attack me every night before bed," she grumbled, rubbing her bum ruefully, "because bruises really aren't my color."

"I'm aiming for the pillows as best I can, Lily," he laughed quietly. "We're doing this so that you can defend yourself. Voldemort doesn't have the manners I have."

Lily rolled her eyes and tried to laugh, but her stomach was feeling distinctly tight at his use of the name. "Right, James, because V-... You-Know-Who is gonna come after _me_."

"You never know," he shrugged, moving back to take his position across from her and holding his wand ready. Stifling a groan, Lily followed suit. As usual, James attacked first, shooting a cheering charm at her, which she deflected easily. Before she could send a jelly-legs jinx his way, he hit her with a stunning spell that sent her sailing back onto the pillows.

"You know, James, _some_ guys snog their girlfriends on their nights off," Lily teased faintly when he brought her around, causing him to pull her into his arms with an eager grin.

"Well, if you don't think we're doing enough of _that_, we can take a break," he replied willingly. Lily blushed as he leaned down to tenderly nuzzle her neck. Even with classes, clubs, training, friends, homework, and Head duties, the pair were still managing to make sufficient time for snogging. James had quickly taught her that it was all a matter of priorities and not minding catching a few seconds in a broom cupboard between classes. Personally, she was shocked they hadn't been caught yet.

"We could probably do a couple more..." she suggested reluctantly as he urged her back onto the pile of cushions, working patiently to loosen her tie.

James was too busy undoing the buttons at the top of her shirt to respond and she felt a familiar heat rising in her chest as his lips brushed against the hollow of her neck. She squirmed with pleasure and reached up to run her fingers through his hair. In response, James began inching his way up to her face, pushing his knee between her legs as he kissed her. His hands pulled her up against him as he impatiently prodded her mouth open, thrusting his tongue inside to tangle with hers and explore. She emitted a small yelp of pleasure as he gently pressed his leg into the apex of her thighs.

Lily rolled over on top of him, straddling his waist and biting his lower lip hard enough to cause a small thrill of pain which only served to make him more excited. After a moment, she sat up and impatiently pulled off her sweater before leaning down to passionately kiss him again. James put his hands on her waist, but was soon inching them discretely upward. She laughed and stopped to readjust his hands to a more appropriate position, but wasn't surprised when they immediately began roving over her thighs. It wasn't that she minded him touching her breasts, but he had accidentally gotten too excited the other night and engorged them, leading to a painfully embarrassing argument in which they were forced to address her insecure body image. She dropped her head to his shoulder with a groan as he grabbed her ass and squeezed.

"Maybe we should talk about this..." Lily sighed quietly, trying to get her hormones under control and failing miserably when he rolled over on top of her and began kissing her ear again. "James... I- I really think we should... oh god!"

She gasped in pleasure as his hand caught hold of her breast and he pinched her already hardening nipple while his other hand worked at the remaining buttons of her uniform. Before they could go any further, the rapid beat of footsteps and voices on the stairs halted his movements and Lily quickly pushed him away and sat up, doing her best to pull herself into some semblance of order as Peter and Sirius burst into the room.

"Sorry to interrupt," Peter called with a cheeky grin that belied his words.

"How's the training going?" Sirius asked smugly as he took in their rumpled appearance and the scattered cushions. "Did she finally get the best of you, Prongs?"

"I'm afraid he's still dominating the field, Sirius," Lily told him sadly. When the boys gave her identical wicked grins, she suddenly blanched at the double entendre and shot awkwardly out of her seat. "I think I'll just go work on transfiguration homework now..."

The boy's laughter followed her up the stairs and James was left ruefully setting a pillow in his lap and smiling at his friends as they found their favorite spots. "_Bad_ timing, lads."

"I'd say it was probably the best we could have managed under the circumstances," Peter interjected blandly as he propped his feet up on the table. "By the way, I'm going to need the map Sunday. I've got a date."

"Won't tell us who with, though," Sirius reported irritably, shooting an impatient look at their sheepish friend.

Peter shrugged and tucked his hands between his knees. "How can I tell you when I know what you'll do to her? If all goes well, I'd like to have a _second_ date, thank you very much."

"If you're doing it right, you don't need more than one," Sirius told him with a cheeky grin.

"Not all of us have the same relationship goals as you, Padfoot," Peter put in wryly.

Sirius laughed and slapped him on the back. "Actually, Wormtail, I'm pretty sure _every_ man has the same relationship goals as me, they're just not as straightforward about it. Right Prongs?"

James, who had been wholly consumed with Lily's departure, gave a little jump and stared blankly at his best friend. "I'm sorry?"

"Never mind," Sirius replied in disgust. "Why don't you just go get the map and we can head out to visit Moony? Poppy's probably gone by now and..."

"Shit, I forgot," James said quickly. He stood and raked an irritated hand through his hair, glancing between his friends and the empty stairway. "Okay, guys, just wait here a minute while I get my cloak and the map and tell Lily I'll be out tonight."

Sirius snorted derisively and called, "Never thought I'd see the day when you had to ask permission to hang out with your best mates!"

"Yeah, yeah..." James worked to calm himself as he raced to the landing, nervously smoothing down his hair as he tapped on her door. Without waiting for an answer, he pushed the door open and caught of flurry of motion as Lily yanked the blankets up over her shoulders. James pulled up short, shrewdly taking in her red face and mortified eyes.

"What were you doing just now?"

Lily smiled shyly. "None of your business."

"If you were doing what I think you were doing, then I'd very much like to make it my business," he said as he moved to the bed and sat beside her.

"I'm sure you would," she laughed, trying to avoid his eyes as he leaned in closer.

"Is that a confession?" he murmured against her ear, causing her to shiver delicately. James gently tugged the covers down to reveal that she was still in her school uniform and he gave her a surprised look. "What's all the fuss about?"

Lily laughed, but her blush remained stubbornly in place. "Despite what you might think, James, I don't need to remove all my clothes just to masturbate."

Mischievously, James leaned forward and put his hand on her bare thigh. "You didn't finish already, did you?"

"Prongs!" Sirius barked impatiently from the common room, reminding him of his true reason for coming. Reluctantly, he leaned back and gave her an apologetic look.

"Listen, love, I've got to go... do the _thing_... with the guys..."

Lily nodded in understanding. Throughout the time they had been living together, James had periodically disappeared, presumably to keep Remus company and out of trouble during his transformation. Despite the fact that she had been looking forward to a potentially intimate night with James, she knew Remus's need was greater than her own.

"We'll be together tomorrow, though, right?" she asked a little anxiously. The thirtieth was her birthday, but so far James was keeping her in the dark about his plans.

Sirius called him again and James immediately stood up. He gave her a distracted smile before putting a hand on her cheek and kissing her fondly. "Sure, love. Anything you want."

Lily watched him go feeling a little abandoned, but decided to distract herself with homework. Since James hadn't mentioned anything, she assumed he was planning a secret for her birthday, but she was getting nervous about what it might be. After several hours of ineffective studying, she took a long bath and went to bed without any sign of his return.

Even though it was a Saturday, she woke early the next morning, carefully dressed and prepared for the day. A soft knock at James's door went unanswered and she decided to go downstairs for breakfast and give him a little more time to sleep. In the Great Hall, she was converged upon by Alice and Frank, who came bearing presents, flowers, and a very funny princess hat. Even Ptolemy showed up with an enchanted bouquet of daffodils from James's parents. She accepted all of these things graciously and enjoyed an enormous breakfast with her friends before heading outdoors for some extensive winter sports.

"Where's James today?" Alice asked carefully as she helped to pack snow inside of their ice castle.

Lily shrugged, deliberately pushing away her misgivings. She kept expecting the guys to come bashing in with some harebrained scheme to give her the most fantastic birthday ever, but they didn't come. After a moment, she replied, "He had a late night last night, so I was just letting him sleep in a bit."

Alice didn't respond, but Lily saw her frown, mirroring her own anxiety about their absence. It wasn't like the Marauders to go for subtlety. Not to mention the fact that they always seemed to be one step ahead of everyone else. "Well, I'm sure he's got something fantastic planned for tonight," Frank concluded reassuringly, causing both girls to smile in anticipation.

Darkness was descending by the time Lily returned to her room. Other than James's door being open, nothing had changed and the dormitory was still and silent. Sighing, Lily took her homework down to the common room, hoping to get as much finished as possible before she was ambushed. It was close to midnight when she finished all of her work for the coming week and decided to go to bed, feeling hugely disappointed and a little angry.

When James didn't appear Sunday either, Lily's disappointment faded to a cold fury that manifested in time for him to call her to breakfast the following morning. Straightening his tie, he rapped his knuckles on her door and called, "Lily, you ready yet? We're gonna be late."

Lily opened the door and gave him a cold, pointed look before brushing past him and rushing down the stairs. James trailed after her, rumpling his hair in confusion and suppressed a sigh. "Here we go again..." he muttered resignedly, not sure what he had done wrong but certain he'd hear about it soon enough.

When they reached the Great Hall, Lily allowed him and his friends to sit near her, but otherwise acted as though they didn't exist. Trying to give them a subtle hint, Frank took a seat nearby and asked how their weekend had gone. The four boys grinned at each other before turning to him.

"It was busy," Sirius replied smugly.

"And brilliant," Peter added jubilantly as he dug into his sausages.

Remus and James exchanged amused looks before Remus volunteered, "Pete had a date this weekend."

"It went well," James added humorously.

Frank shot a look at Lily to ensure she was still studiously ignoring them before prompting, "Are you sure there wasn't anything you lads _forgot_ to do?"

James smiled at him in confusion before shrugging. "No... I think we did everything we wanted to do-"

"Thanks for trying, Frank, but they really are _that _thick," Lily interrupted acidly before pushing her bowl away and scooping up her bag. "See you in class."

The boys watched her leave as the bell rang and Frank shook his head, hefting his own bag. "Any idea what's on, Frank?" James called as he started to move away.

Alice caught up with him before he could reply, threading her arm through his and giving him a reproving glare. Having been thoroughly warned, he turned and shrugged helplessly. "You lot are clever enough... figure it out!"

"Those two usually stay neutral so it must be pretty serious," Remus surmised sagely.

"_I_ didn't do anything!" Sirius defended belligerently.

"Neither did I," James mused thoughtfully as they headed to class. "I was with you guys all weekend."

"It can't be too important or she'd have blasted you the moment she saw your face, Prongs. She'll get over it," Peter chimed in confidently.

By the end of the day, it was fairly clear that Lily wasn't about to get over it anytime soon and James had just about had enough. Between the deathly glares and silent treatment, he was about to go mad. Added on top of that was the fact that she had pointedly ignored him every time he had tried to ask what was wrong, making it close to impossible for him to make amends. When he came into the common room and she immediately picked up her books and headed upstairs, he decided to confront her.

"Lily, I don't know what you're so huffy about today, but I'm sorry for whatever it is," he announced a little angrily as he followed her to the landing.

Pointedly ignoring him, Lily stomped into her room, but the dramatic slamming of her door in his face was thwarted by James's foot in the door. Her green eyes flashed as she glared at him and she finally growled, "Get your bloody foot out of my door, James. I don't want to talk to you until you figure out what you did."

James wrenched the door open further, sliding her back as his temper roused at her petulant response. "Well, how the hell am I supposed to do that when you insist on acting like a child?"

"I may be acting childish, but at least I'm not a self-involved prat!" Lily said fiercely, working to keep her hurt buried.

"Are we going back to name-calling, Evans? Because I've held a few in reserve for just such an occasion," James sneered angrily.

Lily bit her lip for a moment and James was shocked to see tears sparkling in her eyes. He instantly softened and Lily seized the opportunity to kick his foot out of the way and whisper, "Sometimes I hate you, James," before slamming the door in his face and turning the lock firmly.

"Lily just tell me what I did!" James shouted in consternation. He stood at her door for the next hour, but received no response to his repeated pleas. At last he smacked his palm angrily against the wood and cried, "Fine! I don't care! I'm getting sick of you treating me like rubbish whenever you feel like it. Well I'm not going to put up with it anymore! Come talk to me when you're finished being a stubborn cow!"

He had marched to his door before he heard hers open and was unsurprised to see her with her wand trained on him. "You really want to do this now?" he asked arrogantly, reaching for his own wand.

She only waited until he was armed, before letting loose a torrent of spells, most of which he blocked until a particularly powerful jinx knocked him back into the wall. Seizing the opportunity, Lily hurled a body-binding curse at him and moved to stand before him as he fell stiffly to the floor.

"Did it ever occur to you that you actually might have done something wrong, James, and this isn't just some mood I'm in?" she asked in a hurt voice. She knelt and rolled him over, allowing him to see the tears rushing down her face. "You may think I'm acting stupid and stubborn and childish, but you really hurt me, whether you meant to or not, and all you've done since then is make it worse. The worst part is, I've come to expect a lot more from you."

She released him from the spell and rose, but didn't retreat to her room as he expected. Instead she took a step back and wrapped her arms around her waist, staring at him with such painful disappointment that he felt his gut wrench horribly. After a moment, he guessed, "Are you upset because I told you I'd spend time with you Saturday?"

"I'm upset because you forgot my birthday for the first time in five years," she admitted softly, feeling a small twinge of satisfaction when he opened his mouth to correct her, paused, and paled. "Almost every birthday I've had here you've tortured me, yet-"

"Lily, I am so sorry," he apologized breathlessly. "I thought it was next weekend."

Tears puddled in her eyes as she lurched into his arms, shocking him by allowing him to hold her after such a grievous affront. She cried for a few minutes more before smiling up at him, making his heart ache with affection even though her nose was running and her face was blotchy. "So what are we doing for my birthday?"

James scooped her up in his arms and carried her into his room, laying on the bed as he explained the plan. "Well, first of all, the guys planned to wake us at about four in the morning..."

Lily laughed as he described the festivities, but in truth she was a little unsettled by the experience. Her first instinct had been to blast James into next Tuesday. When she saw him, however, she had felt overwhelmed by hurt and unable to dole out righteous punishment. When had she stopped wanting to kill him when he did something stupid?

Author's Note: Sorry guys, this one is a little shorter, but my instinct is telling me not to push this too far. I really hope you like it and the next chapter should be easier to write (i.e. faster to publish for YOU!). I've been in a sort of writing funk and feeling like everything I put to Word is rubbish, so thank you for being patient. I'll have something else out as soon as I can.


	15. There's nothing safe about sex

It turned out that everyone was surprised by Lily's reaction, but the boys made it up to her by throwing an enormous party with enough food and fireworks to simultaneously feed and blow up a small country. By the Marauder's design, most of the students around their age showed up for the celebration, which lasted until Professor McGonagall arrived in her tartan dressing gown to threaten them all with a choice between death or six month's detention if they didn't go to bed _now_.

"I still don't see how you guys got all those people to come," Lily laughed as the four boys helped lug armfuls of presents to the Head's common room. "I didn't even _know_ half of them!"

"At least they brought gifts," Peter said cheerfully from behind a stack of boxes.

Everyone seemed to agree as they set down their burdens and collapsed into chairs. Lily was about to sit on the arm of James's when he pulled her over into his lap, causing her to giggle sharply while his friends rolled their eyes. "So, does this make up for me being a total ass?"

Lily grinned, well aware that he had worked hard at making it up to her by being spectacularly sweet all week and throwing her a face-melting party. "I think it's safe to say you'll soon break even."

Remus shot his friends a pointed look behind her back and Sirius suddenly stood, stretching and yawning like he was Rip Van Winkle. "Well, I don't know about the rest of you lot, but I'm beat."

"Right, we should probably be going," Remus volunteered with a huge grin and wink that made Lily blush.

Peter looked up from his mound of fudge flies with keen disappointment, but Sirius didn't give him a chance to protest as he hauled him up and frog-marched him to the staircase. "Great party, Lily. Happy Birthday!"

Lily thanked them then turned to raise an eyebrow at James, who looked the picture of innocence. "What was that all about?"

"They've had a busy day," James shrugged lackadaisically, cuddling her closer to his chest.

Cocking her head to the side, she considered him seriously before nodding and pushing herself to her feet. She held out her hand to help him up and said, "Yeah, you're right. You must be exhausted too. We should get you to bed."

"Will you be coming with?" he grinned eagerly.

"Oh no, James, I have way too much homework to go to bed now," Lily teased as she led the way up the stairs. "I'll probably be up the whole night working on it."

James looked at her suspiciously as she brought him into his room and pushed him down onto the bed. "I thought you'd done all of it during the week. What's your homework for?"

Lily knelt on the mattress between his legs and began loosening his tie with a sultry smile as she replied, "Madame Pomfrey wanted us to get familiar with human anatomy before next week. There might even be a quiz."

"Really?" James choked as she gently removed his glasses and pulled off his sweater. "D'you think you'll need help with that? 'Cause I'm _great_ with anatomy."

"Oh, James, I couldn't ask you to do that," she told him sincerely, returning his glasses and working the buttons on his shirt. "I mean, you must be so tired..."

James put his hands on her waist and grinned up at her. "Actually, I don't think I could sleep a wink knowing you were up torturing yourself like that."

"You're so sweet," Lily cooed, smoothing her warm hands across his chest and shoulders to divest him of his shirt. She felt her mouth go dry as she regarded his naked torso. Pulling her eyes away, she smiled genuinely up at him. "James... thank you for tonight... for everything, really. You've been brilliant."

To her surprise, he just smiled and shrugged modestly. "I really am sorry about forgetting your birthday, Lily. I promise it won't happen again."

Lily smiled and looked lovingly into his eyes, sliding her fingers down his cheeks as she hosted an internal debate. After nearly a minute she took a deep breath and said, "James... I want you to know-"

"Why don't you just kiss me?" he interrupted softly, reading the anxiety in her eyes. "No hard decisions tonight."

She bit her lip indecisively before smiling and pushing him back onto the bed. James's arms instantly surrounded her and she kissed him shyly, allowing herself to be drawn down onto his chest. Sensing her hesitance, James rolled her over and nuzzled her neck. Heat broke out over her skin as he trailed kisses from the base of her neck to her ear and she shivered as he swirled his tongue over the sensitive spot behind her earlobe. When he tugged at her sweater, she allowed him to pull it off, though she felt oddly exposed when he threw it to the floor. She could feel the heat of his chest through the cotton of her shirt and he tenderly brushed her hair away from her face as he stared down at her with loving eyes.

Putting her hand on the back of his neck, she pulled him down to kiss her again. Lily's head was swimming and she caught his hand, gripping it tightly as nerves boiled in her stomach. She felt feverish and every time he touched her it felt better and worse all at once. James smoothed one hand across her stomach, testing her resistance as he slowly inched his way upwards. She gasped and arched her back a little as his hand moved up onto her breast and she gripped his hand tighter, but made no protest. Instead, she stared up at him, her eyes full of hesitance, as he gently kneaded her soft flesh.

James bent forward and kissed her, running his tongue along the inside of her lower lip and enjoying her soft moan. He knew that Lily hadn't had any experiences with guys before him, and it thrilled him that she responded so strongly to his touch. His hand was shaking as he continued exploring her breast, moving his fingers in tender circles around her nipple.

Smiling up at him, she asked, "Are you all right?"

James let out a shaky laugh and replied, "Of course not. I should be asking you that."

"I'm fine," she told him in a husky voice. She began undoing the buttons on her own shirt while James loosened and removed her tie. She finally lay under his scrutiny with only a thin, white bra to shield her from his heated gaze. Lily couldn't help feeling a little self-conscious, but tried to remind herself that he had seen it all before. Even so, she waited anxiously for him to show some sign of what he thought of her unclothed form.

Her anxiety was not lost on James, and he brushed her cheek with his knuckles and stared down into her eyes with a gentle smile. "You are so beautiful," he whispered.

Deliberately, she reached down and rubbed the front of his pants. She could feel the hardened bulge beneath the fabric and it brought more heat to her cheeks. For his part, James merely leaned his head back and closed his eyes, relishing the feel of her soft, hesitant caress. With a small bounce, Lily pushed herself off the bed and quickly removed her remaining clothing, aware that he watched her with acute interest. She smiled nervously as she slid under the covers, waiting for him to do the same. Taking the hint, James stood and followed suit before joining her in the bed. He put his arms around her and pulled her close in a hug, struggling against his own desires and the physical reaction he was experiencing feeling her naked body against his for the first time.

"James, are you all right?" she whispered, running her fingers through his hair and allowing herself to be held.

Swallowing convulsively, he nodded and pulled back, looking down into her face intensely. "Lily, it's your first time, right? I just want to make sure you really want to do this," he told her seriously. "I said we wouldn't have any hard decisions tonight, and this is pretty big."

Touching his face and seeing the love and concern written clearly in his eyes, she nodded and tugged at his shoulder. He rolled on top of her and gently pushed himself between her legs. She reached up with a smile to remove his glasses, but he merely shook his head and kissed her palm.

"I've been waiting for this for three years, Lily Evans. I don't want to miss a thing," he told her seriously, causing a tremor of excitement to roll through her body.

Lily caught his hand, experiencing a sudden thrill of fear as he gently prodded her. She closed her eyes and squeezed his hand as he slowly pushed in, causing her to cry out in pain. James immediately stopped, concerned for her. Her entire body was rigid and she had her eyes squeezed tightly shut, gripping his hand with all her strength. He started to pull out, but she wrapped her legs around him and shook her head.

"No, James, I want to do this," she told him in a fierce voice, still not opening her eyes.

"Lily, if it hurts, we don't have to," he reminded her, even as his body protested leaving her warm, tight interior.

"I'd feel worse if we didn't continue, James," she admitted, finally opening her eyes and staring at him. James continued to look at her in grim hesitation, so she pulled him down against her and whispered, "Just keep going."

Slowly, James began moving again, trying to be as gentle as possible as he took short, slow strokes, deeper and deeper inside. Lily had ceased crying out, but her face was still rigid and beaded with sweat. She held him tightly against her so he couldn't see her expression, sure he would stop the moment he realized he was hurting her. After several minutes, the pain began to ease and she was able to relax. James pulled back to look into her face and she smiled weakly as he continued thrusting into her.

"Does it hurt?" he asked worriedly.

She shook her head and caught his hand again, moaning softly. Her response was almost too much for James and he had to stop himself from thrusting harder, working to keep his own desires in check. She was so warm and soft, he could barely keep his head.

Finally, he collapsed on top of her, panting, "Lily I'm going to come." She locked her arms around his shoulders as he began thrusting harder and faster. She felt small bursts of pleasure through the pain and began to rock her hips against his thrusts. Unable to take any more, James' suddenly went rigid as he came inside of her, his penis throbbing as he climaxed.

Exhausted, he lay on top of her. Both were sweating and breathing hard, each wrapped up in a world of feeling. After a few minutes, Lily reached up and wound a hand into his hair, laughing breathlessly. "Now, was that so terrible?" she asked.

James laughed in response and shook his head. "No. Except for hurting you, that was probably the best experience of my life," he replied. Lily smiled in satisfaction and held him close before kissing his forehead.

"I'm glad we did, James," she told him gravely.

James let out another breathless laugh and said, "So am I."

They held each other for a few minutes more before Lily informed him that she needed to go to the bathroom. James smiled and pulled out of her as gently as he could, but she still groaned in pain and stood on shaky feet before tottering off to the loo. James followed shortly after, so Lily came back into the bedroom while he was still gone.

Suddenly feeling the cold of the room, Lily dragged the sheets off of the bed to wrap around herself in a makeshift toga. She frowned at the small droplets of blood on the bed and went to his nightstand to look for a handkerchief. Opening the drawer, she found a handkerchief laying beside a book on top of a familiar envelope. She glanced at it and realized that her name was written on the front in her mother's handwriting. A rushing noise filled her ears as she picked it up and realized that someone had already opened it. Forgetting her original purpose, she pulled out the single sheet of paper and unfolded it carefully.

_My dearest Lily,_

_ I know by the time you get a chance to read this, I'll already be gone. Please don't be mad at Tuny, Lily, I made her promise not to tell you anything. The reason I kept you in the dark is because I'm a coward. As much as I love you both, I've never been strong like your father and I can't do this without him. I'm not leaving you all alone, though. I know that Petunia is getting married and can't or won't take care of you, but I've spoken to Aunt Iris and she said that you'd always have a place at her house. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to be the mother you needed me to be, but always remember that I love you very much and I know that you can do anything you set your mind to._

_I'm sorry,_

_ Mum_

Numbly, she sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the page as it swam before her eyes. She had forgotten about her elderly, great aunt, but her mind was unable to concentrate on that fact when there were several other problems jostling for her attention. Petunia had been right. Her mother had wanted to die. Why had James kept this from her? Why had he opened it? Lily flushed as she realized that, if James had opened it, then all of the Marauders had known for more than a month.

"James!" she screamed shrilly, bringing him back into the room at a run.

"What is it? What's wrong?" James regarded her quizzically from the doorway, rubbing his hair nervously.

"What's this?" she asked sharply, holding up the sheet of paper. Nervously, James moved forward and his conscience gave a nasty prickle of recognition.

"Lily, I can explain about that..." She tilted her head expectantly and he reached up to muss his hair as he tried to compose his thoughts. "You see, Sirius got that from your house and we weren't sure when we should give it to you."

The way she was looking at him made him stop explaining. "_You_ weren't sure when to give it to me? _You_ weren't sure? James, that is not your call! You should have given it to me immediately and left it up to me when to _read_ it! Why did you read this? Have all of you had a go at it?"

"Well... yeah, but, Lily, it's not-"

"This is not a game, James Potter!" Lily shrieked, pushing herself off the bed and causing him to flinch uncomfortably. "This is my _life_ and you and your friends are treating it like a puzzle to solve! Why do you think you need to control everything?"

In a bid for patience, James stood and put his hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her down. "Lily, I wasn't sure what you would do if you read it, and the last thing you needed was to go haring off to some distant relative's house in the Muggle world. You needed to be with me."

Lily took a step away from him, even though she felt like she couldn't breathe. When she spoke, her voice was hushed and filled with betrayal. "No, James, _you_ needed me to be with you. You didn't care what I needed. You just manipulated the situation so it would turn out the way you wanted."

"Lily, it really wasn't-"

Sirius's voice interrupted out of nowhere: "Oi! Prongs! You seal the deal, yet? We've got your old bedpost ready and Peter's standing by with the butterbeer to toast to Operation Head War's success..."

Their eyes turned simultaneously to the small oval mirror on the desk that hosted Sirius's gleeful face shining at the ceiling. After a moment, Lily tried to move past him, but James remained stubbornly in her way. "Lily, it's not what you think."

When she looked up at him the tortured look in her eyes made him take a step back. "I guess your friends will be happy to know the operation was a success," she murmured bitterly. "You're sick, James. I can't believe you guys would go so far just to have a little fun at my expense, but I _really_ can't believe I actually fell for it."

Alarm slammed through him as she pushed her way past him. Ignoring Sirius's continued suggestive conjectures, he followed her until she slammed her door in his face. "Lily, please, we need to talk. This isn't what you think. We weren't trying to trick you into sleeping with me, we just wanted to get you to _like_ me. That's all! I'm sorry I kept your mum's note-"

The door was suddenly wrenched open and Lily didn't look at him as she pressed his sheet into his hands and pushed him out of the way. She had put on some warm clothes and didn't say a word as she moved swiftly to the stairs. Heedless of his own state of undress, he trailed after her, trying to get her to see reason. He was met at the bottom of the stairs by her wand pointed in his face. In a cold, brittle voice she warned, "Don't you come near me. Don't you _ever_ come near me again, Potter!"

Lily ran as fast as she could. She didn't know where she was going and she didn't care. The only thought in her mind was that she had to get away. Instinct told her they could find her in the school, so she ran out the front doors and down the lawn. When she finally stopped, she found herself near the abandoned rail station in Hogsmede. Fighting to breathe, she took a seat on one of the platform benches and gripped her chest. She felt like her entire body was chipping and breaking apart.

He'd lied to her. All of it, the past six months of James being different and James being better had been a lie. A carefully planned, strategic movement designed to get her to drop her defenses. It had been a set up from the very beginning and they had been laughing at her the whole time. They were probably up in Gryffindor Tower now, congratulating each other on a job well done. Mission accomplished. James had scored, according to plan. It was no more to them than a quidditch match.

She couldn't believe what a fool she'd been. She was sorely tempted to wait until morning and get on the first train. There was no destination, but the urge to run was so strong that she paced the platform trying to decide what to do. The student in her won out. School was almost over. She had invested six and a half years studying magic and could really do nothing else without a proper education. She could wait until graduation, then she'd never have to see any of them again.

Having come to this realization, she squared her shoulders and turned toward the flickering lights of the school before James' face swam before her eyes. Her legs actually buckled and she collapsed to the ground, choking on the sobs that reverberated up from her chest. _How could he?_ How could it all be a joke to him? He'd convinced her to trust him. Made her fall in love with him. She had felt _safe _and acceptedfor the first time in... she didn't know how long. He said he loved her and he made her believe it. The cruelty of the prank was staggering, even for them.

Lily leaned her head into her lap, holding her hand over her mouth as she screamed silently, desperate for some sort of release from the soul-shattering pain. Because she loved him. She was going to tell him tonight. Even still, in spite of everything, she wanted to see him. Ached to touch him and hold him. She wanted desperately to forgive him. Her desire to go back to the castle and let him hold her and tell her something sweet and tender and untrue was almost overwhelming.

"You can't go back," she told herself firmly. "There's no going back."

Even still, her heart fractured at the words. Because she dared, despite everything, to hold out hope that this was all a misunderstanding. That James really was who he had pretended to be. That he loved her. The swell of pain blocked out the moon and she bit her hand to keep from crying out. Because it _wasn't_ true. She'd been had. Tricked by the very best. They would show no remorse. They would crow their success to the entire school at the lunch table like they had countless times before. She would have to be hard, to close herself off so as not to break apart completely.

Back at the school, James entered his room as if in a dream. Throwing clothes on, he grabbed his spying glass and shoved it into his pocket, wishing for the first time that Sirius had the slightest amount of tact. Frustrated, James raked his fingers through his hair and sprinted to Griffindor Tower. He entered his friend's dormitory to find them ready for a party.

"Well done, mate!" Sirius called as he jumped up to intercept him. Anger burst through James's consciousness and he immediately punched Sirius in the face as hard as he could. It took the combined strength of Peter and Remus to pull James off.

"Prongs _what the hell?"_ Remus cried as he worked to hold his struggling, enraged friend away from Sirius.

"You _fucked_ up, Padfoot!" James spat furiously, still trying to elude his friend's grasp. "Lily was _there_. She _heard_ you. Now she thinks everything was a stupid little game to get her in the sack!"

The news was sobering for everyone and the boys looked at each other hopelessly before Peter stepped forward, rubbing his hands together. "So what's the plan? What do we do?"

"There is no plan, Wormtail," James told him in a dull voice as he finally sank into a chair.

"Prongs, we can fix this," Peter insisted, moving forward to put a hand on his shoulder. "I mean, we're the Marauders. We can do anything."

"We fucked it up, so we can fix it," Sirius interjected from his place on the bed where Remus was fixing his broken nose.

James shook his head as tears crept into his eyes. "_No_. We're not going to fix this. No plans. No schemes. No tricks. Nothing can fix this. If we hadn't been trying to be so _bloody_ clever to begin with, this never would have happened. Just give me the map and I'll try to find her. Try to explain..."

His friends shifted nervously and it took him a moment to realize no one was getting the map. "Prongs... it's not anybody's fault-" Remus began.

"Wormtail had a little accident when he was trying to meet with his lady friend and Filch got it," Sirius filled in quietly. "We can get it back-"

"No, it's fine," James replied wearily. He stood and looked around at his subdued friends. "I'll just go wait for her. She'll come back."

The sun was rising by the time Lily finally made her way back to the castle. She felt empty and drained, but she trudged resolutely upstairs and entered the dormitory. James had been waiting in his room and came out to meet her on the landing.

"Lily, this is all just a big misunderstanding. I can explain," he began, but she raised her wand to cut him off.

Turning her head to give him an icy glare, she said in a low voice, "I'm sure you can, but I told you before to stay away from me." Her face was pale and her red-rimmed eyes were deadly serious. "I'm not interested in your explanation. If you come near me again, I'll blow you apart." She stared at him hatefully for a moment before lowering her wand and entering her room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Over the next few weeks, Lily continued to struggle with her feelings, her mind muddled by grief and anxiety. It didn't help that, in spite of everything, she still had most of her classes with James and all of her Head Girl duties dictated she worked closely with him. To her surprise, he managed not to come up with any more clever plots to convince her she was wrong. Instead, he simply tried talking to her, but all of his explanations fell on deaf ears.

Nearly a month later, things had almost returned to normal at Hogwarts. There were so many girls vying for James's attention that he found himself with his hands full, whether he wanted it or not. For her part Lily was grateful for the first time that members of the opposite sex largely left her alone since she was unsure she would be able to avoid expulsion for hexing a date into the next century for trying to kiss her goodnight.

As a bright spring afternoon bloomed outside, the students filed into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, chatting amicably. Lily had yet to arrive as the four Marauders took their seats and spotted their old nemesis, Severus Snape, slinking into the room, head bent over a book. Despite the fact that Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts was highly recommended by the Headmaster, it was not mandatory and Severus was the only seventh year Slytherin still taking the class. He took his seat, ignoring the four identical predatory gazes trained on the back of his head.

"Isn't it a bit counter-intuitive for you to be taking this class, Snivellus?" James taunted in a loud enough voice to catch the attention of the other students. In response, Snape looked up and stared hard at the wall before returning to his book.

"Know your enemy, eh, Snape?" Sirius caught the game with an unpleasant sneer.

Deliberately, Severus turned and gave the group a hateful glare. "I could say the same thing about you lot. What's the point in learning _defense_ when you're just going to run and hide behind Dumbledore's robes at the first sign of danger?"

"Seems you don't mind cowering behind the Headmaster when it's your neck on the line, Severus," Remus pointed out gruffly.

"D'you suppose Snivellus can't take a shower because water would melt him?" James wondered meanly.

"Do you suppose you lot could grow up sometime?" Lily snapped angrily from behind them. She stomped past the sheepish quartet and dropped her bag in the front row, doing her best to ignore the looks she was receiving from all sides of the classroom. Despite the fact that she was Head Girl, none of the students could understand why she would defend someone like Severus Snape, who was unpleasant at the best of times and had been downright hateful to her.

Professor Fittinger came into class looking unusually pleased about something, capturing the attention of the grumpy group. "Good news, everyone. I've received word from the Ministry and we're going to try something new today. Under the observation of Mr. Alastor Moody, one of the head Aurors for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, we will be identifying the symptoms of the Imperius Curse today and examining some of its effects."

The group stared in surprise at the rugged man who suddenly stepped out of the shadows behind the teacher's desk. The fact that he had apparently been there the entire time without anyone noticing was a bit disconcerting and he glared the class down with his beady brown eyes. He had a thick, muscular body that put Lily in mind of Vernon Dursley, but that was where the similarity ended. He was dressed in dirty, patched robes and his pale, stringy hair hung down to his shoulders. Every visible inch of his skin was mottled with scars.

"All right, then, who wants to volunteer?" Professor Fittinger asked cheerfully, causing all of the students to give her a startled look. She waited expectantly before frowning and crossing her arms over her chest. "Come now, class. This is important. You'll need all the help you can get to be able to identify the curse and fight it if necessary."

Brazenly, Sirius pushed himself from his desk and swaggered to the front of the classroom, earning a relieved grin from the professor. "Excellent, Black. Now, first off, I don't want you to fight, just allow yourself to be enchanted so that we can examine some of the palpable effects of the curse."

"Not a problem, Alexis," he replied with a wink that made his friends groan.

"Smarten up there, Black, I'm the one doing the spell," Moody growled, drawing the handsome boy's attention. In the next instant, the spell was cast and Sirius stood at attention, turning to address the classroom.

"The goblin wars of the mid-thirteen hundreds..." he began explaining briskly.

"Now, who can spot a difference?" Professor Fittinger asked over Sirius's droning explanation.

To everyone's surprise, Snape's hand went into the air and he gave the teacher a rare smile. "Apparently it's having a side-effect on Black to make him clever," he pointed out wryly, drawing several snickers from his classmates.

"He's fighting it now," Lily announced in a calm voice, studying Sirius carefully. "You can see his eyes growing more focused."

Before anyone else could make another observation, Moody flicked his wand and Sirius did a backward handspring toward the windows, causing the class to gasp in surprise. Just as suddenly, Sirius swayed on his feet and sat awkwardly, reaching up to rub his palm against his head.

"It might seem funny to some of you," Moody growled pointedly, causing the smirks on several faces to melt away, "but this is no mere trick. With someone controlling you, you could do anything. You could kill your best friend and not blink an eye."

Professor Fittinger stepped forward to take the group in hand. "All right, everyone, we're going to play a little game. Let's move over to the practice space and Mr. Moody is going to put someone under the curse. You'll have to talk to each other to try to figure it out. The first person who is able to fight it off or recognize who has been cursed gets a prize."

With some nervous laughter and misgivings, the students did as she asked, milling about awkwardly before stopping to talk with one another. Little progress was made, however, as the student's detective skills failed them. Everyone seemed to be acting normally and everyone was beginning to get frustrated when Sirius accused Snape for the fifth time.

Lily was talking with Frank when she caught sight of James out of the corner of her eye. Rather than talking to Peter, as he had been doing a moment before, he was standing very still, staring at the ground with his fists clenched. She raised her hand quickly, but in the next moment he looked up and smiled and she began to feel floaty. Turning back, she vaguely realized she was talking to Frank.

"What do you want to do?" a quiet, pleasant voice murmured at the back of her mind. Excusing herself, she moved over to where James was speaking to Peter and caught hold of him by the front of his robes. As if in a dream, she drew him forward and kissed him. All eyes were trained on the pair as she broke the kiss and stared up at him blankly before tightening her hold on him and kneeing him in the crotch. James instantly dropped to the ground and Peter raised his hand.

"I think Lily's cursed," he announced before Moody could send the spell to someone else.

Lily stared down at James in surprise as the bell rang and his friends moved forward to help him. They were all giving her such dirty looks that she said, "Guys, I-"

"Why don't you just go to lunch, Lily?" Remus asked quietly. "You've done enough."

Stung, she nodded and moved to grab her bag, glancing up at the Auror with wounded, angry eyes. Moody merely stared at her impassively and she turned to leave, but pulled up in surprise when she caught Severus giving her an approving look. Rather than heading to lunch with everyone else, she made her way straight to her room, hoping to hide out until her next class. She wondered if she was the only one who had been given those open-ended instructions or if it was just that she was the only one who had such embarrassing tendencies.

After classes and a short time out in the infirmary, James and the guys were at the top of the clock tower throwing water balloons on hapless students who were trying to go out and enjoy the balmy weather. James sat listlessly against the wall watching his friends, but not joining in.

"You know, it's the simple things in life that are really the most important," Remus said with a buoyant grin as he aimed a balloon at a pair of seventh year Ravenclaws that had been following James around like the plague since Lily had broken it off.

"How's the bollocks, Prongs?" Sirius asked in concern as he noticed his friend staring absently at the sky.

James shrugged, rolling his head to look back at his mates. "They're fine," he replied simply, accompanied by a loud splash and several enraged shouts as Remus dropped down with a hearty grin.

"Nice shot, Moony," Peter complimented him as he peeked over the edge of the wall.

"Prongs, stop moping!" Sirius burst out irritably. "Graduation is soon. Then we'll be off for training as aurors and kicking bad-guy ass. Forget Evans. There's plenty of other-"

"Padfoot, I know you're trying to help right now, but if you don't stop talking I'm throwing you at the next pedestrian," James interrupted quietly, putting his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose under his glasses.

Remus grinned and jumped to his feet, pointing at the rest of them. "Right. Nobody try to cheer Prongs up because he is in a mood and it's going to stay that way!"

"Aww, but I brought a snitch for you to play with," Peter said forlornly, pulling the struggling golden ball out of his pocket and holding it out for them to see. Against his will, the corners of James's mouth twitch at his friend's antics.

Sirius grabbed him around the neck, giving him a rough noogie. "There's the Prongs we know and love. Now, I have a fantastic balloon right here and the perfect way to get Lily's attention, which is lucky since she just came outside."

He stood with a maniacal grin and James launched himself at his friend to stop him, dragging him backwards a split second too late. The boys watched as if in slow motion as the bright blue balloon dropped directly onto Lily's head. She paused for a moment, shaking her hands and looking down at herself in surprise before glancing up at the tower to find four heads peering just over the wall. Her face turned red and her eyes snapped in anger, but just when they thought she was going to throw a hex at them or give them detention, she dropped her eyes and continued out to the school grounds.

"Nice, Padfoot," Peter said wryly after they had all breathed a sigh of relief. "Now she's gonna kill Prongs in his sleep."

"If that was gonna happen, she'd have done it by now, Wormtail," Remus assured him drolly as he produced several more balloons with his wand.

Lily moved to her favorite spot by the lake unsure of how she was feeling. It was true, her first impulse after being blasted with water had been murder, but the emotion had died quickly. It was enough, however, to make her realize how long it had been since she'd felt _anything_. Pretty much since the week after her birthday. At some point, she had locked her emotions away so completely that she couldn't even experience normal, non-Marauder related events anymore. Without a doubt, she knew she didn't want to live that way, but how could she avoid the pain and embrace the rest?

"Schizophrenia," she suggested to herself humorlessly as she sat and stared out at the lake, ignoring how cold the breeze was on her wet clothes. She graduated several weeks later without having come to a conclusion.

Author's Note: Sorry about that, guys. I was re-reading the story and realized I'd left out a little bridge between chapters. So, instead of going on, I wasted a short amount of time going back, but I do like this extra little something and I hope you do to. That is, if you even read it.


	16. There are always choices

Lily was pleased with how quickly she settled into her new life. She leased a tiny studio apartment in downtown London and divided her time between sleep, work and school. She was so intensely busy, she had no time to think about James or her parents; even Voldemort took a backseat to her frantic routine. She was nearly a month out of school when she received a rude reminder.

Scrutinizing her clip board, she rushed past the reception desk and jerked in surprise when James fell into step beside her. She glanced up at him and he smiled, causing her heart to thump wildly in her chest. Swallowing her emotion, she leveled him with a cool gaze and forced her voice to become wry and mocking. "You know, some people would lay off stalking after a girl's moved several hundred miles to get away from you, Potter."

"Yeah, well, I'm just persistent," he quipped distractedly before reaching forward to grab her arm and pull her to a halt. Her entire body jolted at the contact, so she brushed him off and stopped to hear what he had to say. "Listen, Remus is here and they won't let me in to see him because I'm not family. Is there anything you can do?"

Her traitorous heart let off a twang of disappointment that he really _wasn't_ there to see her and she fought to ignore it. Sighing, she tucked her clip board under her arm. "Wait here, I'll check."

She returned to the reception desk and pulled out the ledger, tapping it and asking for Remus Lupin. The pages spun to the correct entry and she frowned before turning back and motioning for James to follow her. He jogged to catch up and she asked, "What's he doing in the burn ward?"

She glanced up in time to see his jaw clench and he reached up to absently rumple his hair. "You probably don't want to know."

"Well, just follow me and act like you own the place," she replied, striding quickly through the corridors and hoping absently that the Potter wing of the hospital had nothing to do with his family. The burn ward was a large room lined with beds, some occupied, some vacant, and it took a moment to find Remus sitting in the one at the end. Half of his head and face as well as both hands were wrapped in thick gauze and he sat forlornly looking out the window. His chest was bare save for a wide bandage fastened securely around his mid-section and there were plenty of bruises mottling the naked skin.

Once they reached the bed, James leaned forward and squeezed his shoulder, startling him out of his reverie. He gave his friend a wincing grin and leaned back into his pillows as James pulled up a chair. "Hey, guys," he greeted in a gruff voice.

"How you doing, Moony?" James's face was pinched with concern, though he tried to stay calm.

Remus shot Lily a grateful smile, then winced and reached up to touch his bandaged cheek with a muffled mitt. "It's not too bad. The doctors gave me something for the pain and they say I should be all healed in a week or two."

Lily frowned at him and reached down to check his chart. "That isn't right. The nurses should be able to heal burns in a few minutes."

An uncomfortable silence passed between James and Remus before the injured man filled her in. "Well, it takes a little longer for me. Silver burns are more complicated than regular burns."

Lily felt her stomach drop and her green eyes shot up to scrutinize him intently. "How did you get silver burns, Remus?"

"Werewolf, remember?" James interjected with an uneasy chuckle.

"I know _that,_" she snapped, "I mean how did he _get _them? It's not as if he's running around getting pelted with silver bricks."

James was about to make an excuse when Remus stopped him. "My parents put up certain protections to keep me contained during the full moon. If I get out of my chains, they have silver bars on the windows and doors."

"Not to mention silver bullets if all else fails," James added bitterly.

Lily stared at Remus, but he waved her off. "It's really not as bad as it sounds. If I got out, I could hurt someone. They're just trying to protect me."

"They could've killed you," Lily admonished. The boys simply stared at her grimly and she realized they had been well-aware of that fact for much longer than she knew. Straightening her shoulders, she resolutely pushed up her sleeves. "I think I can take care of this."

James grabbed her arm as she reached for him and shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Lily. You could make it worse."

She glared at him and tugged free before moving around to the other side of the bed and gingerly removing Remus' bandages. Swallowing a lump in her throat at the angry welts across his face and hands, she held out her wand before casting another disparaging glance at James. "I didn't finish at the top of our class for nothing, Potter."

Muttering intently under her breath, Lily felt the power surge around her as she directed the spell at Remus. She had been considering tailoring spells to werewolf physiology since she had figured out Remus's problem. Healing silver burns was something she had been toying with for quite some time and she was eager to see how it would work on a real werewolf. To her relief, the red marks faded quickly. As the last one disappeared, she slumped forward, bracing her hands on the bed. She bowed her head, panting slightly and missing the astonished looks Remus and James were giving her.

"Lily, that was... brilliant," Remus murmured as he held his flawless hands in front of his face. "How did you do that?"

She let out a breathy laugh and straightened, catching James' frown. "That was _incredibly_ dangerous," James corrected angrily.

"Shut up, Potter," she sighed, unrolling her sleeves. The spell had taken more out of her than she would admit, but she was glad to see that it had worked. "I'll go find the nurse and see that you're released. Are you sure everything feels fine?"

"Fit as a fiddle," Remus grinned.

Lily turned to give James a pointed stare. "You'd better go to the waiting room before anyone finds you. He can be out in about ten minutes. I'll take you if you want."

James reached over to squeeze Remus' arm before following her out of the room. She quickly walked him to the abandoned waiting area and turned to leave, only to have him catch hold of her robes. Turning, she stared at him guardedly and he reached up to awkwardly rumple his hair.

"So you're still leaving your hair down? It looks pretty." He had panicked, but couldn't let her leave without saying _something_.

Her cheeks flushed, but she continued to gaze at him coldly for a moment before turning away. Steeling her heart and fighting the tears that instantly sprang forward at his awkward, intimate remark. "You can't come running to me whenever one of your mates gets hurt, Potter. I have a lot to do and can't have you interrupting me all the time."

Without another word, she left and he could do nothing but stare after her. He had never known Lily to be so cold, so controlled. She had always been like fire with him, flaring up at the slightest provocation. It was all he could do to stop himself from gathering her in his arms and pleading with her to forgive him. To convince her that it really was just a huge misunderstanding. He ached to break down the wall she had built around her heart.

Lily found the ward matron and asked her to check her patient before dragging herself off to finish her shift, James' eyes nagging her the entire way. Though she tried to forget, his very presence made her feel warm for hours. She kept fingering her hair and remembering his compliment, blushing all over at his tender tone.

She was exhausted by the time she left work, apparating directly to her empty apartment and feeling keen disappointment at the loneliness she had always been able to ignore before. She shook out a bag of owl treats for Morwen, who hooted gratefully, before turning to see to her own dinner. James' comment continued to plague her, however. Finally, she stared in the mirror after readying for bed, touching the long braid gingerly and thinking.

It was with fierce determination that she went out early the next morning. It was Saturday and she didn't have class, so she headed straight to the barber. Her father had loved long hair, so she had never cut it short before, but James' comment had lit a fire under her. He had remarked more than once on how much he liked her long hair and she couldn't fight the rebellious pleasure she took in destroying at least one painful memory in a symbolic act. Even so, her resolve almost deserted her when she pushed open the door of the salon and gave the girl behind the counter her name. She was quickly shown to a chair and an attractive young woman with spiky purple hair threw a cape over her shoulders and leaned forward, showing off her ample cleavage as she leered at the young girl.

"What are we lookin' for, sweetheart?" she asked cheerfully.

Taking a deep breath, she shakily returned the woman's smile. "I'd like a _big_ change."

The stylist's grin widened and she nodded, setting to work within those loose parameters. It was nearly an hour later when she spun Lily around to have a look. It was definitely a change. Her hair had been hacked off to just below her chin, a long fringe sweeping across her forehead just above her eyes. The stylist had given it a tousled look, playing into her hair's natural waves. She stared at her reflection in astonishment, hardly recognizing herself. Somehow, her skin seemed paler, her eyes larger, and she felt more grown up.

"What do you think, gorgeous?" the older woman crooned as she leaned over the girl's shoulder. "Not bad, eh? How about we finish it with a little make up?"

Lily obediently submitted herself to the stylists ministrations and was pleased with how the work accentuated her natural features. She didn't normally wear make up, but she couldn't argue with the results. She thanked the woman profusely before paying her tab and heading out onto the street, feeling lighter than she had in days. It didn't escape her notice that men actually turned to watch her on the street, making her feel buoyant and a little self-conscious. The reactions were the same when she went to work that night- people who had never even spoken to her before complimenting her on her appearance.

Nearly a week later, Lily was called to the trauma unit with a dozen other workers when a squad of Aurors were brought in. They had been escorting high-ranking ministry officials to a meeting when they were ambushed, taking heavy damage as they fought to keep the ministers safe. Lily dashed into the emergency room and stared in surprise at Sirius as he grabbed a mediwizard by the front of his robes and lifted him nearly a foot off the ground, shaking him roughly.

"I'm not in the mood for your bloody rules, now tell me where the hell he is!" he shouted into the man's face.

Lily's heart seemed to freeze and her breath stopped as the significance of Sirius' words and presence hit her. It could only mean one thing: James was one of the Aurors being treated. Without bothering to calm Sirius down or get her own assignment, she darted through the crowd, searching for James and fighting the panic that threatened to consume her.

Pushing her way into the operating rooms, Lily stared in horror at the bloody messes that were once whole human bodies. A familiar patch of dark hair caught her eye and she shoved her way to his side, catching hold of his bloody hand and squeezing sharply. His hand felt wrong, as if it was just a rubber glove filled with sticks and sand and she felt queazy as she gently replaced it at his side, leaning forward to tap his face and call his name. When he didn't respond, terror clutched at her throat and she looked up at the doctor standing over him.

"What needs to be done?" she cried, unconscious of the hot tears coursing down her cheeks.

The doctor gave her a grave look and sighed. "Multiple fractures and contusions. Not to mention mental trauma from the Cruciatus Curse and one nasty hex. We had to put him out just so he'd stop screaming."

"He'll be all right, though? Won't he? We can make him better. What needs to be done? What can I _do_?" she shouted fiercely.

The older man stared at her for a moment, contemplating having her leave, but then sighed. "We'll do what we can. Get him cleaned up and bandaged and find the counter-spell for that hex. After that, we'll just have to wait."

Lily nodded and set to work, gingerly washing away the blood and grime and knitting together his gaping flesh wounds. She felt near physical pain at the extent of the trauma and forced herself not to think about the mental anguish he might suffer as well. It took a while for her to heal his bones and undo the hex, which had smashed up his joints into what had to be extremely painful powder. By the time she was finished, she was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to stay at his side and hold his hand until he woke up. Instead, reason prompted her to return determinedly to the waiting room. Remus, Sirius, and Peter were there among the other anxious families and they sat up in relief when she appeared.

"He's sleeping, but he's okay now," she announced softly. "Do you want to come see him? You can only have a few minutes for now, but I can let you back in tomorrow." She didn't really need to ask. Leading the three tense men into the private room, she hung back as they moved to touch and watch their unconscious friend, as if reassuring themselves he was really all right.

"He's sleeping. The doctor thought it'd be best to let him rest," she told them unnecessarily.

"Fuck!" Sirius shouted suddenly, slamming his fist into the wall and causing everyone to jump.

"That's not helpful, Padfoot," Remus warned as he glanced anxiously toward the door. "You'll get us thrown out acting like that."

"This is all my fault," he spat, heedless of the warning. "If I had been there; if I'd've had James' back like I'm supposed to-"

"You'd be in this fine state or worse," Peter interrupted impatiently. "Let's just be glad Lily was here to patch him back together, all right?"

"You weren't _there_, Wormtail! Prongs pushed me out of the way and I walked out without a scratch while my best mate's fighting for his bleeding life!" Sirius spat.

Lily was aware of the nurses poking their heads into the hallway and she held up her hands. "I'm sorry, lads, but that'll have to do it for tonight. Come back in the morning and ask for me. I'll stay with him."

"Right, like that'll help. You'll probably tear his heart out while he sleeps, you mangey bitch," Sirius lashed out causing her to physically recoil as the blood drained from her face.

Remus swung a punch that landed hard across his jaw, knocking him back into the wall. His head smacked against the plaster and he was momentarily stunned. Remus gripped the enraged man's shoulder and pulled him forward, his face a thunder cloud as he growled, "Lily's doing all she can to save his life, you ungrateful wanker. Shouting at her won't help Prongs get better, so shut your trap and let's go before you make a bigger ass out of yourself."

He cast an apologetic look at Lily before pushing his wayward friend out the door, followed closely by a silent, sullen Peter. Lily stood very still for nearly a full minute after they had gone, reeling at the hateful insult. Almost without realizing, she slowly moved to collapse into a chair beside the bed and reached to hold James' hand. He was pale and bruised. He looked like he was just asleep as he breathed deeply and lay perfectly motionless.

"Where's my son?" a voice shouted outside, drawing Lily's attention sharply. She gently placed his hand on his chest and moved into the hallway to find Aldan Potter as she had never expected to see him before: acting exactly like Sirius.

She hurried out of the room and grasped James's father's arm, adding her pleas to Adele's that he put the orderly down. "Mr. Potter, James is right in here. I'll take you to him."

Adele sobbed harshly when they entered the room to find their only child lying prone and vulnerable on the hospital bed. Lily was instantly forgotten as they moved to take their places beside their son and she was relieved for two reasons: the first was because she probably looked like hell since she hadn't taken any time to wash up after working on him and the second was because she hadn't had any contact with them since graduation when they'd both come to congratulate her warmly, making sure she understood she was still welcome at their house any time.

Understanding their anxiety, Lily sidled out of the room and went to find the doctor, sure they would want to talk to him. She brought him back and could almost laugh at how Aldan questioned him like he was a five-year-old and then made several suggestions on treatment that the man had to admit he'd never thought of before.

"Actually, young Miss Evans has been taking charge of him since he's been in," the doctor volunteered, unfortunately making her the center of their attention. Adele instantly burst into tears and crossed the room to hug her tightly while Aldan had a few more quiet words with the doctor, who left the room looking properly abashed.

"I don't know what would've happened if you weren't here," Adele cried brokenly, kissing Lily on both cheeks.

Lily smiled awkwardly. "It's my job, Mrs. Potter."

Both of his parents smiled at her as if they knew she wasn't telling the truth. Between them, they looked so much like James that she couldn't help shifting uncomfortably and staring at her toes. To her surprise, Aldan reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently and drawing her gaze up to meet his kind eyes. "We know you're just doing your job, Lily, but we still appreciate everything you've done for our boy given the circumstances."

Lily nodded, blushing as she realized his parents probably knew everything that had happened between them at school. "You don't have to worry. James will be fine. I can stay with him tonight."

With several hugs and kisses, his parents left a few minutes later and Lily resumed her seat at James's side. After she was certain that his parents were gone and he was still unconscious, she took his hand and held it tenderly between her own. She stared at him numbly for nearly an hour before her head drooped onto the mattress, overcome by exhaustion. She woke some time later when James started lashing about fiercely. She shot up, gripping his hand tightly and felt a thrill of fear as he arched his back and screamed at some unknown torture. He squirmed across the mattress with his face contorted in agony, and he clutched her fingers hard, causing her to gasp in pain. Sweat broke out on his forehead and he whimpered piteously, crying out for his mother. Tears bit the back of her throat and she leaned over him, smoothing his damp hair from his face with a cool, soft hand.

"It's all right, love," she crooned tenderly. "You're okay. I'm here. I've got you."

He slowly relaxed as she continued to stroke his hair and whisper reassurances. Finally, he fell back, exhausted. Lily sank down into her chair, still clinging to his hand. A hot drop hit her wrist and she started in surprise. She hadn't realized she had been crying. Why was she crying? She dashed her sleeve across her eyes, fighting to deny the fierce terror squeezing her chest. Trying to convince herself that she didn't care that he had almost died. That the prospect didn't fill her with unimaginable despair. It was a long night. Before the sun rose, he thrashed though three more episodes and Lily was there to calm him each time.

Just after dawn, James' eyelids fluttered and she rocked forward to feel his forehead. He leaned into her touch and arduously opened his eyes, staring at her silhouette incomprehensibly. "Mum?"

"Quiet, James," she whispered, not bothering to correct him as she brushed her hand down to shut his eyes. "Just rest for now."

To her horror, he started crying and rolled over onto his side, curling in on himself. "Mum, I think Sirius is dead!"

"No, James, Sirius is fine," she rushed to reassure him, "You saved his life, but you're very hurt. You need to rest so that you can get better."

"I want to die," he whimpered, "It hurts too much!"

Lily frowned and turned from the bed, reaching for the medicine the doctor had left and managing it with a single hand. "Here. Take some of this, love. It will help the pain. It'll help you sleep."

"She doesn't love me anymore," he moaned piteously, grabbing her attention and halting the spoon on its way to his mouth. "She hates me. It'd be better if I were dead."

Lily's heart splintered at the desolation in his voice and she leaned to hover close to his face, her hot tears splashing onto his clammy skin. "She doesn't hate you, James," she whispered softly. "She loves you so much it hurts. So much it scares her."

"I want her, mum. I need her here." She could practically feel his pain as he clutched her hand and cried. She had never seen him cry before and her heart clenched painfully.

Cold cynicism crept into her heart as she leaned over him. "James, I _hate_ you," she whispered passionately as hot tears burned her eyes. "For a few minutes you made me feel as though I actually meant something to someone and then you took it away. You were the only thing in my life that meant anything to me and you _used_ me. You treated me like rubbish. I was just a joke to you. I wish I had saved all the tears I cried for you so I could _fucking_ drown you in them."

He furrowed his brow and turned his head blindly, misery etched clearly in every line and she felt her tears overflow as she lifted his hand and pressed it to her lips. "And I _love_ you. I know I shouldn't because you're nothing but a miserable wanker, but I can't help it. I can't forget how sodding wonderful it was with you. I can't forget how safe I felt in your arms. You're with me every moment of the day, but I _can't_ forgive you."

James turned toward her, fighting to open his eyes and respond. Fighting to understand her words. To silence him and keep him from breaking her heart's defenses, she stuck the spoon in his mouth, sighing along with him as the medicine swiftly took effect and he dropped into a deep, dreamless sleep. She leaned her face into his hand, holding it between both of hers as she cried and kissed it. She was exhausted and had been more honest with herself in the past six hours than she had been in the past six months. Even so, she recoiled from the revelation. Slammed the door and turned the key on her broken heart as if she could deny its existence and not die a slow, painful death. As her tears slowed, she felt the iron wall drop once more into place.

Despite his apparent lucidity the night before, James did not wake up the following day. The boys came and took Lily's place, allowing her to go home and sleep for a few hours and have a shower before returning to work. She immediately went to check on him, but there was no change. He slipped in and out of semi-conscious nightmares, but would not wake up. Lily became useless at work and school, taking time to check on him whether she was busy or not. She got only a few hours of sleep each day, spending her nights watching over him and grabbing a few hours each morning when someone came to spell her. Presents, flowers, cards, and visitors rolled in and James slept on, oblivious to all but his own personal hell. He was fine physically, but it remained to be seen whether or not his mind would return. On the fourth day, Lily approached Sirius, who had taken up his afternoon vigil.

"Who did this to him?" she asked in a hard voice, staring over Sirius' head at James' still face.

"What do you care?" he shot back bitterly, refusing to turn.

"James could have _died_ Sirius. He might never be the same again as it is. Don't you think we should at least _try _to figure out who caused it?" she pressed, unwilling to back down.

Turning, he gave her a dark, hateful look. "Don't you think I know that? I don't need _you_ to remind me that my weakness almost cost my best mate his life!"

"This isn't about you, Sirius," she growled in frustration. "You _have_ to've seen something!"

Snorting contemptuously, he turned back to his friend. "They wear _hoods, _Lily. It's not like they've got name tags."

Lily worked hard to control her anger. Her friendship with Sirius had always depended on her relationship with James, but today he was trying extra hard to be an ass. "You must have some inkling of who it was. Something they said or some defining mark- don't tell me you don't know, Sirius. I understand you hate me right now, but we can't let this go-"

Sirius surged to his feet, knocking over his chair, and spun around, advancing on her. "If I _knew_ who it was, the bastard wouldn't be alive right now! What the hell do you think you'd do about it? Shout at them? Make them see the error of their ways? I don't need _you_ to get revenge, Evans!"

Lily took a step back, her heart thumping in fear. Revenge sounded so- cruel. Wrong. Yet that was exactly what she had been thinking. She wanted revenge. She wanted to make someone suffer for every minute of James' suffering. She wanted their family to feel the pain she saw written on the face of every person who came to visit, the pain that was carved deeper into her heart every time she entered the room or even asked herself if he would be okay. For the very first time in her life, she wanted to feel someone's flesh under her hands as she inflicted damage and watch their face contort in agony. That was what scared her.

She left the room without a word and didn't return until the end of her shift. Remus was just getting up to leave, pulling on his cloak as he stared at his friend's gray face. "Thank you for everything you've done, Lily," he spoke softly with his back to her, causing her to start in surprise.

He turned and caught her gaze with his somber blue eyes. "I know that the guys are having a really hard time with this and you, but I know how much you've sacrificed to keep him alive. You're incredibly talented and you're running yourself ragged trying to bring him out and do everything else on your schedule. Despite Sirius being angry and Peter and the Potters being, well, devastated, we really do appreciate all you're doing for our friend."

She could do nothing but bow her head at the gratitude and was shocked when he came forward and gripped her shoulders, kissing her forehead before leaving the room. She sank into the chair beside James, thinking deeply.

He was sinking with a weight on his chest, surrounded by darkness. Fire flashed to his right. Searing pain burst through his consciousness. James twisted and moaned. Unable to use his arms. Unable to fight off his attackers or even see. Purple light sparked in his eyes and he arched his back, writhing as phantom torment ripped through his body. Somewhere above, a woman laughed, enjoying his suffering. A high-pitched cackle rent the silence at his right and he instinctively turned his head, seeing nothing, but sensing danger. Bright green lightning blazed into view and he fought to run away, but his sluggish, useless body refused to move. He experienced a moment of weightlessness as he was enveloped in the blast, feeling warm and empty as he drifted on the current of death. Somewhere below, a baby cried. Soft, cool hands were suddenly touching his face and he heard a familiar voice calling his name. He fought to respond, but he was so tired.

Lily cupped his face in her hands, murmuring platitudes as he struggled against the darkness. She leaned over him, kissing his forehead and cheeks, pleading with him to come back. She brushed her lips against his and the world seemed to suddenly slam into focus. He reached and strongly grasped her arms, pushing upwards as she tried to pull away, prolonging the kiss as much as he could. For a moment, she responded, holding his face and pouring every ounce of feeling she had into the embrace. Just as suddenly, she was gone.

He opened his eyes and stared around the blurry room, unsure of where he was or what just happened. Someone was checking him, listening to his heart, feeling his pulse, looking into his eyes. Then they helped him sit up, leaning his back against the pillows and asking him questions. He did his best to respond, but he was so confused and tired. Finally, he was given his glasses and he put them on, gazing through the dim light of the lamp at the balding man leaning over him and smiling.

"You gave us quite a scare, Mr. Potter," the man told him in a rich, deep voice. "Welcome back."

James' eyes roamed around the room and he spotted a streak of red as it disappeared in the dark doorway. He reached up to palm his head, still feeling distinctly fuzzy as his brain worked to comprehend his situation. "How long have I been out?"

"Almost five days," the doctor said kindly. "You've had plenty of visitors, though. Lots of people want you to get better. Your parents will be here soon."

James suddenly became aware of the gifts cluttering the room, taking up every inch of available space. Then he spotted an empty chair sitting at his bedside and he stared at it before turning to the doctor. "You've not been alone since you got here. Your family and friends watched over you day and night," the man chuckled pleasantly.

There was a commotion out in the hall and James heard a familiar voice shouting to be let in. A soft murmur cut through the confusion and Sirius, Peter, and Remus burst into the room. They converged on their friend, patting him and inquiring after his health. The relief in their faces terrified rather than soothed him. What exactly had happened while he had been out? Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Lily leaning against the door frame, watching him abstrusely with her arms wrapped around her waist. When he tried to smile at her, however, she quickly spun out of the room. He shelved his disappointment when his parents rushed in a moment later.

James was inundated with visitors during the next forty-eight hours. Friends from school and work called constantly to check on him and wish him well. He joked and laughed with them all, reassuring them of his convalescence, but Lily remained noticeably absent.

Dressing slowly on his seventh day, he had been instructed to wait and be checked out by a nurse before being released. His parents were coming to help him get home, but had yet to arrive as James was tying his shoe laces. He heard the soft click of shoes and looked up to grin at the nurse, only to have his heart do a double flip as Lily entered the room.

She frowned at him, cold as ice, as she moved forward to check him over. As she reached to feel his pulse, he caught her hand, drawing her attention to his face for the first time. "I was wondering if you would be too busy to come visit."

Her glower intensified and she put her fingers on his wrist, checking the clock, pretending her absence hadn't mattered when in fact it had been excruciating. "This isn't a friendly visit, Potter. I'm just doing my job," she explained, omitting the fact that she had specifically requested to be the one to release him.

James did nothing to cover his hurt as he sighed, complying with her gentle examination. "Right. Sorry to waste your time. I'm sure you have many more patients to help."

"That's right," she replied gravely, pushing away the raw ache that niggled at her conscience.

"Next time I almost die, I'll be sure to ask them to send me to a different hospital," he joked humorlessly.

Her mouth tightened into a thin line and her green eyes flicked momentarily to his face. Though her expression gave nothing away, she desperately hoped there wouldn't be a next time. "Don't bother. I won't be here long anyway."

He stared at her in surprise. "What do you mean? Are you quitting?"

"I found another job," she informed him simply, picking up her chart and scribbling a few notes. She glanced up and caught him staring at her expectantly and she sighed. "I don't think I'm cut out to work in such a bloody environment, so I found something better."

"And what would that be?" he pressed, standing and looking down at her with veiled interest.

"That's not really any of your business, Potter," she replied airily. "Your vitals are good and everything seems to be in order. You can leave whenever you're ready." She turned to leave, but he caught her arm and jerked her back, holding her against his chest with surprising strength.

"Let go of me, James," she threatened in a low voice as anger, shame, and arousal all vied for her attention.

"Oh, it's James now? Did you visit me while I was unconscious, Lily? Because I swear I heard you talking to me before I woke up and someone kissed me." He was watching her face intently, but she gave nothing away.

"James, your hurting me," she hedged, refusing to look at him as she pressed her hands against his chest. "It wasn't me. It was probably one of your sycophantic girlfriends from the ministry that've been trotting about for the past week."

Heedless of her weak bid for freedom, James pulled her even tighter. "So you _have _been around? That's funny, because I know I saw some red hair just after I woke up." As he spoke, his eyes were drawn to her hair and he reached up to finger it, noticing its length for the first time. "When did you cut it? It looks nice."

"Maybe you shouldn't be released. You seem to have had a major breakdown in self-control," Lily gasped, shoving her hands against his shoulders in a futile attempt to put some space between them. "And you've lost all regard for personal boundaries."

"And wouldn't you love having me around longer so we can play doctor?" James growled, causing an intense heat to suddenly stab through her core, frightening her with its ferocity as her body responded on such a primal level.

The full blown arousal was like a bucket of cold water, shutting down her senses. She stopped struggling and averted her face, staring blankly at the wall. "Please let me go, James."

"Tell me you didn't kiss me," he demanded stubbornly.

"I didn't kiss you," she lied in a hollow voice. "I didn't kiss you, I don't want to kiss you, and, if I have my way, I'll never see you again."

James suddenly released her and took a step back. She looked up to find his hazel eyes had gone cold and all the color had drained from his face. He reached up a gentle hand and rubbed it across her cheek. In spite of herself, she couldn't help leaning into the contact.

"You're a liar, Lily Evans," he whispered, taking a step closer. He inclined his head and her heart thrummed with fear and anticipation as his lips hovered just above hers. Unconsciously, she tilted her face upward, waiting for his kiss. He held the position for the space of several anxious seconds before straightening and backing away, reading the regret etched clearly across her face. He gave her a pointed look then, without another word, he draped his cloak across his arm and left the room.


	17. Little Surprises

Lily needed time to get away and think. Though she had told James she had a new job, the truth was that she hadn't even looked. All she knew was that her response to James's injury and confrontation would need some deep reflection. Unsure of what else she could do, Lily decided to take a time out as far from the wizarding world as she could. Her sister had been furious when she got her letter (regular post), but she had at least agreed to meet with her. They convened at a nice, normal diner on the outskirts of London. Petunia looked like she was about to jump out of her skin as she took covert glances around the establishment. She seemed to expect a dragon to nibble her toes under the table or something.

"Thanks for coming, Tuny," Lily volunteered quietly as she fiddled with the handle of her tea cup. She received an sharp glare in return and blushed involuntarily. "Look, I know things have been difficult since mom and dad-"

Petunia's already pinched face seemed to shrivel and Lily decided to cut to the chase.

"I need you, Tuny. I don't have anywhere else to go." She looked up hopefully.

"Lily, I'm not like our parents. Vernon and I will not allow any of that... _funny business _in our house," Petunia grated.

"I know and I won't," Lily said simply. Her sister snorted skeptically. "I promise, Petunia. I- I just need some time. I need to get away and think about what to do. Please, Petunia, you're my sister and I need your help."

In spite of herself, Petunia softened. "I'll have to talk to Vernon..."

Lily grinned and threw her arms around the older girl. "Thank you so much, Tuny! I promise, you won't regret this!"

"It's not like we've decided anything yet..." she grumbled, though she hugged her sister back reluctantly.

The talk with Vernon did not go well. After several days and some heavy bargaining, Lily was allowed to stay. She would pay rent, buy her own food, and wasn't allowed near Vernon's car and several other common household appliances, but she had a place to sleep for as long as she needed. Lily didn't care that it was the smallest room in the four-bedroom house. Frankly, she was surprised they weren't making her sleep in the cupboard under the stairs, which had a lock on the outside.

Another part of the arrangement was that she have a normal occupation, so soon after she set out to find a job. She ended up getting in at the University library, which she didn't mind. Lily took the bus to the school every morning and worked until evening. When she returned home, she would eat dinner with her sister while listening to her brother-in-law drone on about drills and everything he hated before sitting in front of the television to watch the news and heading up to bed early. It was all very normal. Very dull. She hated it.

After being with them for nearly a month, Petunia persuaded Vernon to set Lily up with one of his friends. Jack Smith was an accountant that Vernon had known at school. He was average height and average weight, with medium brown hair and medium brown eyes. His shirt was a shade lighter than mustard yellow which helped to distract her from his horrible, stained tie. Apparently, Jack considered himself a funny man, because he constantly told jokes, which he laughed at with a wheezing, erratic bray.

"Tell her the one about the priest," Vernon chuckled over his steak. Lily seriously considered choking on her chicken for a chance to excuse herself. They were sitting in a dimly lit, fancy restaurant and had been attracting impatient stares from the other diners since the salad course.

"Okay-" he laughed obnoxiously, "Two priests were in the john taking a piss, and-"

"You know, Jack, I'd love to dance," Lily interrupted eagerly, congratulating herself on her keen intellect getting her out of yet another untenable situation. The music had just changed, giving her a plausible excuse.

"But our food will-" he began to protest.

She pushed herself to her feet and grabbed his hand. "I know, but I just love this song."

She dragged him out of his chair and he continued telling his joke as he crossed the dance floor on her feet. He chuckled sheepishly as he stepped on her toes for the sixth time. "Sorry, I'm not a very good dancer."

"You're doing fine," she reassured him kindly. "So, do you work with Vernon's firm?" Anything to get him to stop trying to be funny.

"Interesting you should ask, I-" He stopped abruptly and turned when someone tapped his shoulder. James stood behind him with a cool smile on his face. Lily's heart jumped. She hadn't seen him since the day he had left the hospital and somehow she had managed to convince herself that he wasn't really _that _handsome. Or charming. Or intelligent. Or downright wonderful. It's funny how much easier it is to lie to yourself when you don't think you'll be confronted with the truth.

"Would you mind if I cut in?"

Jack looked at Lily before turning back to the strange young man. "Well, actually, we were..."

"Lovely," James interrupted cheerfully as he stepped between them. Her date watched as they moved off before returning to his table. Lily knew her face was on fire and she got a sinking feeling when Petunia leaned across the table to whisper to him before turning to stare at her.

After about a week of living with Petunia and Vernon, Lily had been able to distance herself from her emotions concerning her relationship with James and had reached two conclusions: The first was that she was still madly in love with and incredibly attracted to James Potter. The second was that there was something she was missing about the night they had had sex. She'd had an extra three weeks to think about it since then and was more certain that ever that she was correct. His actions and her suspicions didn't add up. If it had all been about getting her to have sex with him, why was he still keeping up the ruse? And if it wasn't a ruse, then she had been torturing them both for no reason and owed him a _big _apology. She knew they needed to talk, but hadn't been able to swallow her pride and call him. Each night she would play with the mirror and think. Consider calling him. Then reluctantly return it to her nightstand, turn off the light, and go to sleep.

Despite her enlightenment, she couldn't help her irritation that he had shown up so unexpectedly. She was on a _date _for goodness sake! "What are you doing here, James?" she asked in a low voice.

James smirked down at her, moving expertly through the dance steps. "I'm sorry, Lily, but that was just too painful for me _not_ to intervene."

Her eyes narrowed and she glanced around the room, looking for his accomplices. "Have you been following me?"

"No," he lied defensively. "I have another reason for being here."

Lily made a show of looking around before shooting him a skeptical stare. "What? Is Voldemort here on a date too? I knew only psychopaths would bring a date to a restaurant like this."

"I was in the neighborhood," he muttered uncomfortably.

She raised a skeptical eyebrow at him, even as a warm burst of pleasure erupted in her stomach. "Bollocks, James. You've been spying on me. Admit it."

"These are dark times, Lily. You can't get mad at me for trying to make sure you're safe," he retorted in a low voice.

"Show me the Death Eaters lurking around the kitchen and I'll apologize right now," she told him sarcastically. When he remained silent she shook her head. "I'm on a _date_, James. You need to get out of here."

James let out a short, harsh laugh. "Yeah, and you looked like you were enjoying mustard boy _so_ much. If you'd stop being so stubborn for a minute you'd realize you're making us both miserable for no reason."

Her mind jammed when his words so closely echoed her own sentiments and she was left staring at him blankly for a moment. The music changed and she automatically pulled away from him, well aware of the people waiting for her to return to the table. When he didn't let go of her hand, she stopped to look back.

"We have some things to talk about, Lily," he told her in no uncertain terms.

She hid her pleasure as she allowed herself to be drawn back into his arms and the band began playing a slow love song. James rested his cheek against her temple and she closed her eyes to surreptitiously inhale his scent as she waited for him to break the silence. For his part, James was enjoying being within touching distance of her for the first time in a month.

"What is it, James?" she asked softly when it seemed he wasn't going to say anything.

"Well, for starters I have about eighty-five percent of your worldly possessions in my house and I've been wondering when you were going to come get them," he said mildly, referring to all of the things she had left in her room after her sister had sold the house.

She bit her lip indecisively. "Why don't I come by tomorrow?"

He leaned back to look at her in surprise. "That's fine."

"What else did you want, James?" she asked wearily. Habit caused her to make an extra effort to grouse at him since she wasn't as unaffected by his close proximity as she would like him to believe and was also quite impressed with his heretofore hidden dancing ability.

"How are you?" he asked with keen interest, dipping his head so he could look into her eyes.

"Did you _have_ to wait until I stopped blushing to ask me that?" she complained, flushing brightly.

James grinned unrepentantly. "Does that mean you _care_ whether or not _I_ care about how you're doing?"

"Don't get clever on me. I'm _fine_," she said stiffly.

"You look nice tonight," he added pointedly.

"I'm not doing this with you right now, James," she sighed in embarrassment, shooting a glance at their rapt audience.

He swallowed convulsively and his eyes turned pleading. "Just give me one more chance, Lily. Let's just go. Right now. Walk out of here and get a beer and talk."

As tempted as she was, she shook her head. "I'm not doing that, James."

"Why not?"

He looked so frustrated, she wanted to give in. She would have wanted to give in had he looked cocky and arrogant. God, he was handsome. She didn't know if it was because of her current companion or the fact that she hadn't seen him in so long, but something in her wanted to drag him to the loo and... Her eyes flicked away from his steady regard and she felt her face heat. "Because I don't want to."

"You're lying again, Lily," he prodded gently.

"Okay, I know that we have to talk, but now is not the time or the place," she argued quietly. When she looked up at him, his nose was only an inch from hers and she blushed prettily.

That brought him up short. Was she really rethinking things? "So... some other time, then?"

Sensing that he was about to leave, she held his hand a little tighter and caught his eye. "I just need to know, James, is Sirius a prat?"

"Absolutely," he replied evenly, holding her gaze.

Lily smiled in relief, sending his hopes soaring. She nodded as the final strains of music drifted through the room. "We'll talk later, James. But right now... I have to get back to my date."

"Have fun with that," he chuckled softly. He brushed his lips against her temple and was gone before she could respond.

Self-consciously, Lily returned to the table. She wasn't surprised to find the trio watching her expectantly. "Anything wrong?" Petunia asked anxiously.

"Who was that bloke?" Jack asked curiously. "He looked like he's been playing in a lightning storm."

Lily worked at not frowning at his description of James since she had thought that and worse about his hair in the past. With an effort, she smiled and replied, "He's just a guy I went to school with. He was at the bar with some friends when he saw me."

Her sister gave her a pointed look over Jack's shoulder and Lily smiled and shrugged helplessly. She knew it alarmed Petunia and Vernon that James had shown up out of nowhere when they knew what sort of person he was, but it wasn't her fault. And anyway, she couldn't do anything about it now but grin and suffer through the next few hours of lame jokes and irritating company. She consoled herself with the fact that she had tomorrow to look forward to.

Lily arrived on the front steps of the Potter Manor a little before eleven the next morning with her stomach squirming nervously. She and Petunia had gotten into an epic argument that morning when her sister found out where she was going. Petunia was particularly angry since she thought the date the night before had gone splendidly and was worried that Lily was throwing away all of her progress in the Muggle world for James. No matter how she tried to explain what she was doing, it didn't have any effect.

A thin, elderly gentleman Lily recognized as the Potter's butler opened the door and she gave him a bright smile as he let her in. "Hello, Bertram, how are you doing today?"

The old man merely smiled as he shuffled into the parlour and asked her to wait while he went to fetch Master James. She moved to take a seat on the sofa and anxiously clutched her hands between her knees as she waited. In a shorter time than she would have expected, James came in, his face split in a wide grin as he approached her.

Hopping to her feet, she smiled awkwardly and said, "I wasn't sure when to come..."

"This is perfect," he assured her quickly. "Do you want to stay for lunch?"

Lily nodded without hesitation, trying to stop herself from staring at him. "Yes. Will we be able to talk?"

James nodded as he reached for her hand and led her toward the kitchen. "Dad took mum out for the day and Sirius is doing his own thing. Other than Katie and Bertram, we have the house to ourselves."

There was no sign of Katie in the kitchen, but she had left out sandwiches and soup for their lunch and Lily and James took seats across from each other before tucking in. There was a short lull in conversation before she looked up at him and smiled. "You've been following me for a while, haven't you?"

James laughed and tried to appear indifferent as he tried his soup. "Is it so wrong to check up on the woman you're in love with?"

"When she's taking pains to avoid you, yes," she laughed. "It's _creepy_, James. You know where I live. You _probably_ know where I work. You showed up on one of my dates!"

"You've only had the one!" he protested.

"James... you're-" She stopped herself as she recognized the old familiar strains of an argument formulating in her mind. "Why are you being so pushy?"

James raised an eyebrow at her. "Why are you so suspicious? Are you trying to hide something from me?"

Lily blushed and looked down at her food, thinking of all the things she had to say to him and the nights she had spent with him while he was delirious. She had often worried that he might somehow remember her brutally honest admissions during his ravings, but her training taught her that was nearly impossible.

As though he could read her mind, James said, "So... let's talk about the fact that you love me, but you're afraid to trust me."

It was all said in such a dry tone that she forgot to be embarrassed and just stared at him, stunned. After a moment, she shook her head and spluttered, "But... how-? When-? How could you-?"

"I've upset you a lot over the past few years and yet I think this is the first time I've seen you have this much difficulty constructing sentences," he laughed. Finally, he took pity on her. "You ought to know that memories can register even when someone is unconscious or delirious. Have you ever heard of a pensieve?"

Her mouth suddenly went dry and she nodded. "My family's had one for years. Imagine my surprise when I took a look into that and found the truth about the time I was in hospital."

Lily covered her face with her hands, mortified. James leaned forward and gently worked to pry them back. "Hey now, there's nothing to be ashamed of. For the first time in your life, you were able to tell me exactly what you were thinking. I imagine it was quite cathartic."

She tried to pull her face away, but he held her firmly. He grinned, searching her eyes. "Will you allow me to be just as frank?"

Her stomach felt like a bowling ball had been dropped in it, but she nodded anyway. "Will you, um, let go of my face first?" she asked quietly. James held her an instant longer before leaning forward to kiss the tip of her nose. She sank back into her seat with a sigh, her face so red that it hurt.

"I've missed you," he admitted seriously. "Lily, I know I screwed up, but I never wanted it to be this way. I _love_ you. I have loved you for years. I'll admit, in the past I've been a jerk and an idiot, but I really _have_ changed. I know I'm not a kid anymore, but I'm not perfect either. I'm sorry I kept the letter from your mum. You were right. I was trying to control the situation, but I really only did it because I didn't want you to get hurt. And the guys and I _did_ make a plan, but it was really just a way to try to get you to like me. There was nothing more than that. It wasn't a practical joke. It was just... stupid. I'm so sorry."

She reached across the table and put her hand on his cheek, smiling at him lovingly. "James, I know. I've had a lot of time to think and I kinda figured out that I was wrong."

He stared at her in shock. "Then why-?"

"Because I'm stubborn, James. And I was angry and hurt and _scared_," she explained quickly. "Every time I turned around, you were there or there was something to remind me of you. I couldn't get away to just _think_."

"So you ran away. Were you ever going to come back?" She knew him well enough to recognize the makings of outrage in his tone and she reached forward to take his hand. His eyes instantly softened.

"At first I _was_ trying to get as far away from you as I could, but all I really needed was some time," she explained gently. "James, I really..._ really_ love you. I'd like to give it another go, if you're willing."

His heart in his eyes, James leaned forward to kiss her and ended up running into her palm instead. He gave her a sardonic look between her fingers before sitting back. "I'd like to take this slowly, James. So no one ends up getting hurt because of a misunderstanding. I'll stay with my sister and we can visit each other. See what happens."

He sighed and pulled a small box out of his pocket. He set it on the table between them and opened it. A beautiful diamond ring winked out at her. "Is that your final offer?" he asked softly.

A plethora of emotions shot through her body: excitement, terror, surprise, shock, indigestion. She looked up at him and saw the pain and longing in his eyes. Reaching forward, she purposefully shut the box and put it in his hand, covering it with her own. Slowly, she shook her head. "Why don't you keep that for now, James? You can ask me again later."

He searched her eyes for a moment, looking for some trace of doubt or regret, something to work on so that he could change her mind. She was resolute. After a moment, he nodded and slipped the box back into his pocket. "I'll settle for a kiss."

"I just told you that I love you. Isn't that enough for one day?" she laughed.

"Not nearly enough," he growled, looking at her in a way that made her feel hot all over.

Lily sighed gently as she worked to calm herself. "Okay. One kiss. On the forehead."

"The cheek," he countered.

"Okay," she acquiesced. "But you have to walk me to the front door _and _hold my hand."

"Done."

She smiled. "All right then. Are you finished?"

He grinned and nodded. They moved up the stairs and Lily found everything where she had left them: in the small suitcase in her beautiful room. James picked it up and turned, his hazel eyes giving her a pathetic, puppy dog look. "You sure you don't want to stick around for a little while?"

Lily smiled and moved close to him, resting her hand on his cheek. "I don't think so, love. Just you and me in this big empty house might not be the best idea in the world."

"Afraid you won't be able to help yourself?" he asked with a grin.

To his surprise, she nodded, giving him a pained look. "I am, James. I really want to take this slow, but... I want you."

James instantly dropped the suitcase and put his arms around her, holding her close and chuckling softly. "I don't understand, Lily. If we're in love and we both want each other, why should we torture ourselves?"

Lily closed her eyes and heat broke out over her skin as he leaned down and nuzzled her neck. It took her a moment to formulate a coherent answer, but she finally said, "Because we need to do this right, James."

"What does that even mean?" he challenged gently, putting his hands on her hips and kissing her neck softly. Lily's heart was pounding fiercely as he teased her, and she leaned into him for a moment, aware that his arousal burning just as strongly as her own.

"James, please stop," she whimpered desperately, unsure if she would be able to do anything if he decided to continue.

Reluctantly, he pulled back and searched her eyes. Finally, he leaned his forehead against hers and smiled. "I love you so much."

She grinned and took his hand, allowing him to pick up her suitcase before guiding him to the door. James seemed to be dragging his feet as they got closer to the front of the house and he sighed heavily when they reached the big doors. Lily smiled and turned her profile to him, tapping her cheek expectantly.

James leaned forward and breathed on her, causing her skin to prickle before gently pressing a kiss onto her soft cheek. She closed her eyes, her stomach rolling at the tender caress. He trailed slowly back toward her ear, making her legs feel like they had turned to jelly. When he reached up to push his hand through her hair, she told herself to walk away. He nipped at her earlobe and she felt a stab of desire rocket through her core.

With almost inhuman effort, she put her hand on his chest and pushed him away. Her cheeks were flushed and her green eyes had darkened to almost black. He wasn't in much better condition. She smiled tenderly at him. "I'll see you later, James."

"When?" he asked in a gruff voice.

She considered for a second before beaming at him. "Why don't you surprise me?"


	18. A Narrow Escape

The next day was technically a work day for Lily, but she had taken it off in order to get fitted for bridesmaids robes for Alice's wedding. She met the blonde in the Leaky Cauldron and was quickly overwhelmed by her friend's uncharacteristically bad mood.

"What's happened?" she asked when Alice slammed the back door of the pub with enough force to break the murky glass, which flew instantly back into its frame.

"It's Frank's mother. The woman is _impossible_, Lily. It's the end of the bloody world, people going missing every day, and she wants to invite over five-hundred people to the wedding. We both told her we just wanted a simple, quiet ceremony and she's turning it into a fucking Quidditch World Cup," Alice raved. "Not to mention the fact that she wants us to move in with her and give them grandchildren right away."

"Oh god," Lily blushed sympathetically.

Alice shrugged, looking miserable as they moved toward their destination, Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions. "I doubt we'll even be able to... you know... on our wedding night. Frank's so freaked out about everything..."

"You mean, you haven't-?" Lily stared at her friend curiously.

"Not everyone's parents are as cool as James's, Lily. Mrs. Longbottom would probably murder us if she thought we were having sex. She's _so_ controlling," Alice grumbled with a red face, holding the door open for her. "And what's worse is that I'm sure people will start trying to help motivate us if we don't get pregnant quickly."

"Oh dear," Lily sympathized, squeezing her friend's hand before she was converged upon by a plump, elderly witch. She stood patiently while the woman fixed her robes, which were deep navy. The woman's presence cut off the conversation, but they were soon finished and heading out to get something to eat.

"By the way, I talked to James," Lily announced as casually as she could manage.

Alice stopped mid-stride and stared at her, open-mouthed. "You talked to James _Potter_? _The_ I-wouldn't-speak-to-that-sodding-wanker-if-his-life-depended-on-it-bollocks-to-him James Potter?"

"Yes, _that_ James," Lily laughed quietly, taking the other girl's hand and pulling her forward. "It turns out things were... confused and blown out of proportion. Mostly by me. Sirius was being a prat... but there wasn't any bet or anything about him shagging me."

Alice was silent for a long minute. She had suspected as much, but it was really unlike Lily to give up a grudge against James. Finally, she asked, "So, what happened?"

She explained about him showing up during her date before recounting the conversation they had the following day in the kitchen as they reached the front of a Muggle restaurant. "Then he pulled out a ring box and sort of... proposed..."

Alice squealed in excitement, hugging her quickly and grabbing her hand to search for the ring that wasn't there before looking at her irritably. "Lily, you didn't. You turned him down? And you're in love with him?"

"My thoughts exactly," James spoke up from behind them. Both girls turned in shock to find James standing behind them, his hands in his pockets and an enormous grin on his face.

"What are you doing here?" Lily asked rudely.

"You told me to surprise you," he filled in simply, causing Alice to dimple and push her toward him.

"Why don't you two go ahead? I have so much to do with the wedding right now that I really need to get going," the blonde lied cunningly.

Lily tried to glare at her, but she was grinning so brightly that the effect was lost. "Alice, we were supposed to spend the day together."

Her friend quickly hugged her. "I know, sweetie, but it's better this way. Have fun!"

She disapparated quickly and Lily turned to smile shyly at James. He held out his hand and began walking down the street with her. "Are you surprised?"

"Actually, yeah," she admitted sheepishly. "Where are we going?"

James's smile was electric when he turned to her and she couldn't help but giggle in anticipation. "Well, since it's a beautiful summer day and we're both playing hooky from work we're going to take advantage of it and do something I've wanted to try since fourth year."

It turned out that what he wanted to try was golf. He had heard about it from his Muggle Studies professor in his fourth year when they learned about the history of Scotland. Lily had never played before because she had never taken any interest in the sport, but James was so enthusiastic that she could barely concentrate or stop laughing long enough to hit the ball.

"Can you imagine if we played this on brooms?" he asked on the fourth hole, sending her into fits of giggles.

"I think it'd be more like polo if that were the case," Lily chuckled. James instantly demanded an explanation of that particular sport, but it was soon cut off when his attention was captured by some elderly executives riding past in a golf cart.

"Now that's what we need," he cried, galloping off after them and pulling out his wand.

Lily saw no choice but to tackle him to the ground, relieved that the green wasn't very busy on a Monday afternoon. They both laughed as they rolled over in the grass and came to a stop with him on top of her. She smiled, reaching up to run her hand through his hair. "What's with you today? Did someone give you sugar?"

"I'm just glad to be with you," he told her earnestly.

Her eyes lit up in response and she brushed her fingers lightly across his cheek before becoming aware of there exposed position. "I'm glad you're here, too, but let's get up. We've got at least five more holes to do."

He groaned extensively as he heaved himself off of her so they could finish the course, though it was a good thing they hadn't kept score. After golfing, he took her to a pub for an early supper, but she declined an invitation to his house for more entertainment, citing her desire to take things slow. Unfortunately for James, _slowly_ did not remotely describe the progression of their relationship. He spent as much time as he could with her over the next few weeks, but she seemed to keep him at arm's length.

Unfortunately for Lily, the fact that she was dating a wizard only made her sister want to set her up with a Muggle even more. Petunia insisted she needed choices no matter how often Lily pointed out that she'd already decided. After one particularly dismal outing, Petunia followed Lily to her room while she got ready for bed. "I thought that went well," she volunteered pleasantly as she took a seat on the edge of the bed.

Lily kicked off her shoes before turning to glower at her. "Petunia... why are you torturing me?" she groaned.

Petunia gave her an understanding smile before reaching over to squeeze her hand. "I'm not torturing you, Lily. These are _nice_ guys."

Pulling her dress over her head, she argued, "He showed me his extra _toe_, Tuny. Look, I know they're normal, average guys, but they're not really my type. I _like_ James. I don't see why you think I should keep looking."

"You just need to keep your options open, Lily. James is nice enough but what is he? Does he even have a job? If he can't take care of you now, he probably won't ever be able to. You could get stuck supporting him."

Lily considered telling Petunia that James was the sole heir to an enormous fortune, but quickly dismissed the idea. For all she knew, her sister might decide to go after him. Then she'd be stuck with Vernon. The thought made her stomach heave. "Vernon's friends are responsible. Older. They have _jobs_, Lily. James is just... a mess. I know he's handsome, but he doesn't even take care of himself properly."

"I've told you before, Tuny, his hair just grows like that," Lily laughed as she pulled a white short sleeved tunic over her head. "And besides, I'm only eighteen. I don't have to get married _right_ away. There's plenty of time."

"So you're going to see him tonight?" Petunia asked resignedly as Lily pulled on some jeans. Her answer was a mischievous smile. "Well, just... don't get knocked up or something!"

Lily bit back a laugh at her sister's irritated tone and slipped into her sneakers. "Don't worry about that, Petunia. We're just going for a walk and he'll be here any minute."

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Lily hugged and kissed her sister before dashing down the stairs. Vernon had answered the door and was having a bit of hostile conversation with a very amiable James. His eyes lit up when he saw her and Vernon muttered something about hippies before closing the door behind them.

He leaned down to kiss her cheek as he took her hand and she smiled up at him. "So what are we doing tonight?" she asked gamely. "Part six of twelve in our "How-many-random-places can-I-take-Lily-on-a-date" series?"

James grinned enigmatically. "You'll see."

"Because personally, I can't see you topping Tuesday's exciting and highly illegal scavenger hunt in Hampton Court Palace," she continued. "Especially after we got chased by that guard."

"Hey, it's not my fault that _somebody _can't hold back a sneeze," he shot back playfully.

"Honestly, James, where are we going?" she laughed as they reached the end of the block.

In answer, he dug in his heels and swung her around in front of him, catching her other hand as he smiled down at her. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes!" she cried impatiently, pushing her face close to his.

"Meet me at the British Museum." He took a step back and she gaped at him.

"In London?"

He gave her an exasperated look. "No, in _Poland_. What do you think? Do you have your wand?"

She frowned at him. "Of course, but... you mean the _Muggle_ museum?"

"Yes, Lily."

"It's closed! What are we going to do there?" she asked incredulously.

"We're going to play jinx tag," he answered obviously. Without warning, he shot a golden beam of light at her. She managed to deflect it, but when she looked up, he was gone. Laughing, she disapparated, appearing a moment later in the still, silent interior of the British Museum.

Her eyes flicked around the shadows as she stood ready. "You forgot to tell me the rules, James!" she called patiently.

"Not shouting would be a good start," he answered from right behind her. "It tends to give away your position."

She jumped and turned to slap his chest half-heartedly. "Don't scare me like that!"

He caught her wrist and pulled her close, snaking an arm around her waist. "Don't wimp out on me now, Evans. The game is simple: Wands only. No other magical devices. First to three solid hits wins."

"So... no invisibility cloak?"

He shook his head.

She eyed him skeptically. "And... none of your friends are hiding in the shadows to ambush me so that you can win? And! _And_ they haven't taken a polyjuice potion to _look_ like you so it's four against one?"

James laughed at her suspiciousness. "This is a _date, _Lily. I didn't invite the guys."

"So your idea of a fantastic date is to chase your girlfriend around a dark building full of ancient artifacts shooting spells at each other?" she laughed satirically.

"No, _my_ idea of a fantastic date involves just _one_ wand and substantially less clothing, although the level of physical activity is generally the same," he replied wryly, causing her to blush. He looked around thoughtfully. "And it'd be dark..."

"I get it, James," she snapped. She put her hands against his chest and pushed herself a step backward. Cocking her head to the side, she smiled playfully. "What do I get when I win?"

He grinned, not bothering to contradict her. "Whatever you want."

Lily took another step back. "All right then. Are we ready?"

"Go!" he shouted.

She screamed and dashed around a stone pillar. They began hunting each other, throwing out harmless curses whenever a target presented itself. Lily made the first hit, catching him with a Jelly-Legs Jinx as he dove behind a Roman sculpture of a warrior. While she was sneaking through the Renaissance Gallery, he hit her from behind with a Tickling Charm.

Lily had just caught him around the corner with a Tripping Jinx when she thought she heard a footstep behind her. She froze and straightened, looking around in all directions. Outside of James' chagrinned groan, the museum was silent. Padding softly out into the open, she crouched beside him, touched his arm and held a finger to her lips.

He stared at her in surprise from his place on his back. "You're lucky I'm such a gentleman, or I'd-"

"Shh! I think someone else is here," she whispered, checking the entrances to the room. Something didn't feel right. Was it her imagination, or did a shadow just move beyond the doorway?

James lay still for a few tense moments before pushing himself up on his elbows. "Lily, there's no one-"

Five black figures melted out of the darkness. Silver masks glinted in the moonlight from the skylights. Her heart stopped as a tall, thin figure moved between the ranks to step out in front. He wore the same black, flowing robes as the others, but his face was uncovered. His skin was pale, luminescent gray, and his nose had receded into his face, marked only by two slits. Lily couldn't move as she was captured by his vicious red eyes. His sharp, white teeth were bared and he inhaled, sucking in the air as if he was scenting them.

"Lily... run!" James ordered, pushing her away from him and jumping to his feet. He got off three curses as they scattered in opposite directions. The Death Eaters took off after them just as quickly, shooting off spells at their retreating backs.

Lily shot through the door on the opposite side, but heard Voldemort's low, "Get her." A leg-binding curse hit her from behind and she flopped forward, banging her face on the polished marble. She pushed herself up on her hands as blood spurted from her nose. Two sets of arms hooked her from behind, dragging her to her feet as she let out a loud scream. The third Death Eater moved in front of her and snatched her wand from where it had fallen on the floor, dangling it in front of her triumphantly as they pulled her back into the gallery.

James was reaching for his communicator to sound the alarm to the Aurors when he heard Lily scream. He spun as though he were on strings and pelted back in the direction of the scream, shooting stunning spells at the two Death Eaters that had followed him. All rational thought left his mind as he reacted on instinct, desperate to get to her. He stepped back into the main room as the stunned Death Eaters hit the floor behind him. Three Death Eaters were standing directly under the skylight, flanking their master. He held Lily against his chest with a clawed hand wrapped around her throat and his wand trained on her jugular while she squirmed. Her tears were cutting pale paths through the blood that was spattered across her face and dripped down onto her white tunic.

"That's far enough, Potter," Voldemort's cool voice cut out of the darkness. He grinned, relishing the terror and rage he saw flit across the young man's face and the frightened mewling of his hostage. "Let's talk."

"I have nothing to talk about with _you_, Voldemort," he growled harshly. His entire body was tense as he glanced around the room, calculating the odds of rescuing Lily and _not_ getting them both killed. It didn't look good. After all, he was still just training. "Let her go. She has nothing to do with this."

The Dark Lord chuckled and shook Lily like a rag doll. She screamed and ceased struggling; flecks of her blood splashed across the floor. "James, get out of here," she choked pleadingly.

"Oh, I'm afraid young Mr. Potter wouldn't go anywhere without _you_, my dear," Voldemort cooed, putting his lips near her ear. She let out a strangled cry and cringed away, only to be shaken once more as his wand ground harder into her neck. "Now boy... you have something that I need. So hand it over, or she dies."

He seemed much more enthusiastic about the prospect of killing Lily than getting whatever it was he wanted. James glared at him. "Whatever you want_ take it_. Just let Lily go."

Voldemort awarded him with another serpentine grin, sliding his wand up and down the side of Lily's face as he looked down at her. "Oh, he must really love you, my dear. I believe, Mr. Potter, that you have a very rare magical item in your possession. A cloak of invisibility. Give it to me."

James stared at him in shock before slumping his shoulders and bowing his head. "All right. I have it here. Just take it and let us go."

"You have my word," Voldemort crooned, his red eyes glowing with hunger as he watched James reach for his pocket. He removed a folded bundle and shook it out. Its silver surface shimmered in the moonlight, drawing everyone's gaze.

James activated the communicator alarm under the edge of the cloak. A loud screeching filled the air and a crowd of Aurors apparated into the room. Voldemort snarled angrily and spun to shoot a curse at James, but he was gone. An explosion of pain burst on his face, knocking him backwards as he clawed at his hostage. Lily screamed and the skylight above them shattered, hailing down shards of glass and metal on the erstwhile kidnappers. She felt a tug on her arm and she was ripped from Voldemort's grasp and spun into James' arms inside the folds of the cloak. James hauled her back as several explosions blasted over their heads. Within minutes, it was over and Voldemort and the Death Eaters had vanished.

Lily clung to James, sobbing hysterically as he pulled the cloak off of them. He held her tightly, kissing her hair, heedless of the blood soaking the front of his shirt until they were approached by one of the Aurors. Moody glared down at him imposingly before holding out Lily's wand. "One of them dropped it before disapparating," he growled by way of explanation. "Now what happened here, Potter?"

James did his best to explain. When he was finished, Moody merely grunted and asked to have a look at the cloak. As James handed it over, another Auror came to check on them. Lily had been working to reel in her emotions and the Auror was able to fix her nose in an instant. She went nearly cross-eyed as she tried to look at it and James chuckled. "It's perfect," he reassured her.

He helped her clean most of the blood off her face before Moody came back. "I'd like to take your cloak to Dumbledore if you don't mind, Potter," he announced gruffly.

James nodded, wide eyed. "Absolutely, sir. If Voldemort wants it, there's no place it'll be safer."

Moody dipped his head in response before turning away. "You might want to take your young friend home, Potter. The fun part's over now."

Lily fisted her hands in his shirt as he turned to her. "I'll go home with you tonight, James. I don't want Petunia to see me like this."

James sighed. "Mum and dad won't be thrilled either, but I guess it would be best."

They disapparated simultaneously, appearing a moment later in the Potter's kitchen. Sirius stood abruptly from his place at the table, staring at Lily in surprise. "What the hell-? Evans? What are you doing here? Where's James?"

"He was with me..." she told him in confusion as she looked around the room.

James apparated a moment later and grinned. "Sorry- I went to my room."

"What the _fuck_, Prongs? You're covered in blood!" Sirius shouted. "I thought you were just going on a date!"

"Calm down, Padfoot. We're fine," James soothed. He quickly explained what had happened and Sirius exploded.

"You should've called _me_, Prongs!" he cried angrily.

"There wasn't time, Padfoot," he explained patiently. "It was all over in a few minutes."

Sirius was still upset, but Lily finally broke in to the conversation. "Hey, guys? I'd really like to clean up and get out of these clothes, so..."

James shot a pleading look at his friend and Sirius finally grumbled an excuse and got up to leave. Heaving a heavy sigh, James took her hand and led her up the stairs. He took her to the room across from his that she used over Christmas. Everything was the same as when she had last seen it. James followed her into the bathroom before turning away.

"I'll give you some privacy," he murmured softly.

Lily stopped him by catching his hand. He turned to find her staring at him pleadingly. "No, James. Please, stay with me. I don't want to be alone right now."

He looked down at his blood-spattered clothes before looking at her with a raised eyebrow. "Okay. As long as you don't mind me looking like the Bloody Baron."

"Take a shower with me," she offered softly. She leaned forward to turn on the tap.

James shook his head. "Lily, you have to know this won't end well..."

She spun around and threw herself into his arms. "James, we could've died tonight. We were within smelling distance of _The Dark Lord Voldemort_. Forgive me if I don't really care."

"All right, all right!" he cried soothingly. "You don't have to convince me."

He followed her into the shower, doing his best to keep his eyes north of the tropic of cancer. It didn't take long, however, for Lily to break down again. "I- I've n-never s-seen him," she cried, shaking violently.

James pulled her into his arms, holding her gently, even as his heart pounded. She was right. They were lucky to be alive. What could Voldemort possibly want with his invisibility cloak? He knew they were rare, but it had been in his family for years. How had he known they would be there? James shut down at that point, not wanting to consider the possibility.

Lily was in an entirely different mind-set. She could still feel Voldemort's hands on her throat. She felt the pressure of his wand against her neck. She saw the terror in James' eyes. In the museum, she hadn't known if either of them would live. The thought terrified her. She remembered how she had told Petunia earlier that she was eighteen and had plenty of time. The rest of her life to get married and have kids. Suddenly, the rest of her life didn't seem that long.

James shut off the shower and stepped out, grabbing a towel to wrap around her. Lily held it around herself, trembling as she watched him dry off. He could practically feel the heat of her gaze lingering on him. Purposefully, he wrapped the towel around his waist before turning to minister to her. He dried her thoroughly before picking her up and heading out of the bathroom. Without pausing, he went into his own room, sliding into bed with her.

Lily rested her head on his arm, thinking vaguely about how her hair was going to get his bed wet. James ran his hand pensively up and down her bare arm. Neither felt like talking. After a minute, Lily rolled over and cuddled into his side, allowing herself to be held. Rubbing her face against his bare shoulder she asked, "So... does your saving my life automatically mean you won the game?"

"It might've been a tie," he conceded, feeling better for the distraction. "What did you want for your prize?"

"I hadn't decided yet," she told him honestly. "Did you want to sleep with me?"

He looked down at her in surprise. "I was going to settle for snogging, but okay."

His hands roved from her bare back to her bum and she blushed vibrantly. "James! That's not what I-" she gasped as he rolled over on top of her and kissed her clavicle.

Grinning up at her, he brushed his knuckles against her cheek. "Don't worry, Lily. I won't take advantage of the fact that this is the second time I've saved your life _and_ you had without a doubt the most memorable date in history last night. It's no big deal."

"Right... almost dying is _so_ magical," she replied wryly, drawing a deep chuckle from him. James continued touching her gently, brushing his fingers over her body as though reassuring himself that she was really okay. His light caress only served to make her skin tingle, and she suddenly realized that she desperately wanted his hands on her to chase away the memory of Voldemort's biting grasp.

She kissed him. Pressing her palms against his shoulders, she pushed him backward and climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. Hungrily, she slid her tongue inside his mouth, tangling with his. James reached up to push his hands into her hair, pulling her hard against him. They rolled over, fighting for dominance.

Lily giggled and he leaned down to kiss her neck, stirring the fires in her belly that she had worked so hard to keep at bay. Her skin broke out in goosebumps as he slid his hand down over her breast. Sucking her earlobe, he pinched her nipple. She arched her back in response, letting out a quiet moan.

"James... I want you," she whispered urgently.

He smiled into her ear and cupped his hand over her firm breast. "I know."

For some reason, that simple pronouncement shot through her like an arrow, making her feel a little desperate. She squirmed beneath him, trying to remove the obstacles and get him between her legs. James trailed an unhurried line of kisses down her neck, through the valley between her breasts, continuing down her stomach.

"James," she gasped as he moved his hand between her thighs. "Don't tease me."

He grinned up at her as he brushed his fingers across her wet slit. "I'm not sure you want me as much as I want you, love."

Lily let out a sharp cry when he rubbed his fingers against her clitoris, a wealth of sensations bursting across her mind. She panted harshly as he continued his tender assault, crying out as he slid a finger inside her. Slowly, intensely watching her reaction, he pulled his finger out and pushed back in, twisting against her before dipping his head to flick his tongue over her clit. She went rigid and clutched the bedsheets. "James please! I feel like I'm turning inside out!"

"That sounds about right," he growled passionately, surging up to cover her mouth with his own. She broke the kiss with a harsh scream as he thrust himself inside of her, pain lancing through her body. After all, they had only done it once before, months ago. James did his best to reel himself in, feeling guilty for the tears leaking from the corner of her eyes.

"Why'd you stop?" she asked breathlessly.

"Because you're crying and sweating and stiff as a board," he murmured gently as he smoothed his hand over her forehead. He leaned down to kiss her face and took her hand in his.

"Well so are you. So keep going," she cried impatiently. Peeking out at him, her voice softened. "It'll get better, James. I promise."

Deliberately, he flexed inside her and she gasped. As gently as he could manage, he slowly started moving his hips against her. After a few moments, she stopped clinging to the bed and started clinging to him, rocking up against him with each thrust. He watched her face carefully and could see the tension draining away. He kissed her and sped up, pulling himself farther out and pushing back in with more force. She cried out at impact, spurring him on.

Without warning, James gathered her up against him, sitting up with her in his lap as he bounced her against his thrusts. She moaned louder and opened her eyes, locking with his gaze. He grinned at her and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in his neck fighting laughter. They came at the same time, shuddering and clinging fiercely to one another.

"Why are you laughing?" James breathed as he collapsed back onto the bed.

"Why are _you_ grinning?" she shot back saucily.

"I just got laid," he replied simply. "I'm happy."

Lily snuggled closer to him, resisting the urge to smack the smug grin off his face. She watched curiously as he grabbed something from his bedside table and held it out to her with a hesitant look in his eyes. Focusing on it, she realized it was the engagement ring her had offered her earlier. Her eyes flicked up to his and he smiled. "Because almost dying is so romantic," he explained quietly.

She kissed him tenderly and reached for the ring, sliding it onto her finger without a word. It took him a moment to process the acceptance, but then he caught her face in his hands and kissed her so exuberantly that it set them both laughing. "I love you, James. If I thought you were up to it, I'd shag you again."

"What makes you think I'm not up to it?" he challenged arrogantly.

In response, she slid her hand down to pat his penis and smiled indulgently. "I think he's a little tired."

"I'll show you tired," he growled, rolling over on top of her and kissing her passionately.


	19. Life: is it always like this?

Lily woke the next morning to a light wind tickling the nape of her neck. With a slight groan, she opened one eye and squinted in the early morning sunlight. Her eyes lit up when she spotted the prisms reflecting through her new ring. She took a deep breath and stretched, wiggling her shoulders and accidentally bumping into James' face. He echoed her groan and rubbed his face into the bare skin of her back before rolling over and stretching.

"What time is it?" James grumbled, reaching for his glasses.

"I dunno," she replied softly. She flopped over onto her back and stretched, squeaking and sighing before settling against his side. James put on his glasses and blinked down at her while she nestled under his armpit. She smiled up at him as she watched him focus on her before reaching up to kiss him tenderly. "Good morning."

"Hey there. I'm kinda surprised you're still here," he admitted sleepily. He wrapped his arms securely around her and sighed as he stared up at the ceiling. "Last night feels so unreal, doesn't it? Like it couldn't have possibly happened."

She nodded and winced. "I have the bruises to prove it, though."

James grinned at her tenderly and reached up to finger her slightly swollen face. After smashing into the floor and sobbing hysterically for several hours the night before, she looked less than her best, but James couldn't think of anything more beautiful than her curled up against his side. Reaching over, James grabbed his wand and gently tapped it against her cheek.

She closed her eyes as the numb pain slowly ebbed from her face. "Did they teach you that in Auror training?" she asked wryly.

James caught her face and leaned down to kiss her. "Yeah- you'd be surprised. It's not all running around smashing things."

Lily smiled. "I'm just glad you found a job where can use your brains _and_ destructive tendencies in harmony."

An easy silence lapsed between them as Lily examined her engagement ring and James absently trailed his fingers in slow circles over the small of her back. After a moment, she looked at him curiously and asked, "James? Who knew we were going to be at the museum last night?"

"Just my parents and the guys," he replied easily, taking her hand a pressing a kiss to her palm. "Why?"

She bit her lip hesitantly before explaining, "They were looking for us last night. The... the Death Eaters and... him. They knew where we would be and they knew you would have your cloak. How could they know that, James?"

"Someone told them," James filled in reluctantly. The same thought had occurred to him earlier, but he hadn't wanted to deal with the implications the night before. Forcing a laugh, he brushed his fingers down her cheek. "What are you thinking, love? That my parents are reporting me to Voldemort?"

Lily squirmed uncomfortably at his use of the name along with the allegation that one of the people he trusted most could be a spy. "No, I don't think that, but they couldn't have just _known_. Why would they come after you anyway? What's so special about your Invisibility Cloak?"

James shrugged. "All I know is that it's old and really good quality."

They lapsed into silence once more, only this time there was nothing easy about it. The memories of the night before were crowding close, dimming the early autumn light. After several minutes, James sat up and caught her hand, leveling her with a serious look.

"Lily, there's something I need to tell you," he said quietly.

She smiled at his anxious, earnest expression. "What is it?"

Taking a deep breath, he said, "I've always hated the dark arts. Things like this... with Voldemort, they really get me fired up. I can't let someone hurt all of these innocent people for awful, stupid reasons. I can't just stand by and do nothing. So I've been kind of helping Dumbledore since graduation."

"Helping Dumbledore with what?" she asked quietly, pushing herself up.

James reached up to rumple his hair, a sure sign something was wrong. "Fighting. I- we... Sirius, Peter, Remus and I, we've all been helping out. Gathering intelligence, coordinating ambushes, protecting the public wherever we can..."

He trailed off at Lily's anxious look. "James... what?"

"It's not just us, Lily. There are others," he said in quickly. He gave her a lopsided smile and squeezed her hand reassuringly. "There's about forty in all. All working behind the scenes to make the world a safer place."

Lily pulled her hand away from his and put it over her mouth, closing her eyes and turning away from him in a hopeless attempt to calm herself. After several moments of feverish thought, she turned to him with a strained expression. "James, we've been needing to have this conversation for a long time. I know you've always been clever and lucky and you've always taken foolish risks at school, but you do realize that you really aren't invincible, don't you?This is the real world, James. If you keep doing this sort of thin, you _are_ going to get hurt. I understand you feel strongly about this, but you need to stop. There are plenty of ways to fight, like being an Auror. Don't get involved in some crazy scheme that's going to get you killed."

James gave her a condescending smile that made her feel like a naïve little girl and reached out to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I understand that you're worried, love, but this is not some Marauder plot. The Ministry can't protect itself, let alone everyone else. Dumbledore formed this group with a specific purpose. There are people in high ranks of the ministry helping us. Even Alice and Frank are part of the Order."

"James, I'd know if my best friend was part of some secret Order that's fighting... _You-Know-Who,_" she told him skeptically.

"You'd be surprised," he replied shortly.

Lily bit her lip and looked away, wanting to deny everything he was telling her. She felt betrayed and terrified and small. Finally she looked back at him with tears in her eyes. "Why are you telling me all this? Do you want my permission?"

"No," he replied certainly. "I just wanted to let you know. No more secrets between us."

"I can't condone this, James."

He hated how she was looking at him; like this was just another of his crazy ideas. Leaning forward, he put his hands on her cheeks and kissed her nose. "I won't ask you to, but this is important to me, Lily. Maybe if you talked to Dumbledore and some of the other members, you'd understand."

An insistent tapping against the glass startled them out of their conversation. Lily pushed herself up and stared in surprise at the tawny owl knocking its claw impatiently against the window with an official-looking envelope clutched in its beak. She dragged herself out of bed, bringing the sheet with her since her towel had long-since been lost in the tangle of bedding. She pushed open the window and accepted the letter before turning back to James.

"It's for you... from the Ministry," she volunteered as she returned to her place on the mattress.

"I saw your bum," he informed her distractedly, completely unconcerned by the message. She handed it over and he sighed, ripping it open and scanning the page. His face slowly drained of color.

"What is it?"

He leaned back onto the mattress and looked at her with a resigned expression before glancing down and reading in a faint monotone, " 'Dear Mr. Potter, We regret to inform you that as of 11:32 pm last evening, your internship in the Auror Program has been terminated.' They sacked me!"

Lily felt horrible. "How could they do that? You stopped Voldemort! You helped apprehend _two_ Death Eaters-"

"And apparently acted with blatant disregard to the codes of secrecy of our system of government and breaking and entering into a Muggle facility for dubious purposes," James read dully.

Lily could only stare at him, aghast. James had wanted to be an Auror for as long as she'd known him. "James, I'm so sorry," she whispered tearfully.

With effort, he smiled at her and shrugged his shoulders. "Don't worry about it. It's not like I need the money."

"But James-"

"Honestly, Lily, forget it," he interrupted, giving her a serious look. "There's nothing I can do about it now."

She stared at him indecisively. Finally, she leaned forward and framed his face in her hands, looking tenderly into his eyes. "I'm sorry you lost your job because of me."

He reached up to push back a stray strand of her hair. "It was worth it."

Tears pricked her eyes, but she leaned forward to kiss him gratefully. After a moment it became apparent that a kiss wasn't enough for either of them. James's arms went around her, pulling her up against his chest before allowing his hands to roam over her soft skin.

Without warning Sirius burst into the room calling, "Prongs, Moody's sounded the alarm, we-" He stopped and stared in surprise and raised a dark eyebrow at them. "_This _is what you two call taking it slow? You must have one hell of a fast track, Lily."

"Get the _fuck_ out of here, Padfoot," James shouted while Lily's face burned hot enough to incinerate the bedsheets.

"I would mate, but... work," Sirius said lamely, poking his thumb over his shoulder while leering shamelessly at the pair.

"I got sacked, Padfoot! I'm not going!" James said tersely.

Sirius blanched at the announcement, but finally nodded, flicking his dark eyes between the pair of them. He understood James better than anybody, but it didn't take a genius to figure out there was a better time to talk about this. "You owe me a pint and big explanation sometime _soon, _Prongs_. _Cheers, mate," he said peevishly before heading back out into the hall and shutting the door behind him.

James turned back to her and she resisted him weakly. "Are your parents going to come in too?"

The question caused him to grin and he caught her left hand before replying: "Well, we should probably tell them the good news sometime today, but I think we have a little time... to do other things. If you want."

James leaned forward and tenderly kissed her forehead, causing a smile to tug at the corners of her mouth. She put her hand up on his neck and drew his head down to kiss him lingeringly on the lips. When he pulled her into his lap, she put her legs around his waist, wound her other hand through his hair, and pressed herself against him, deepening the kiss. She nibbled his lower lip before pushing her tongue into his mouth. James groaned and she could already feel his erection rubbing against her through the sheet, driving her own arousal to new heights. Lily was the one who finally pulled back, panting and flushed from the contact. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he held her tenderly.

"I'm still sore from last night," she admitted sheepishly.

James reached up and pushed her hair over her shoulder, smiling at her gently. "Does that mean you want to wait?"

Without hesitating, she shook her head and smiled at him. "Definitely not."

With a wicked grin, James dropped onto his back and rolled over, positioning himself on top of her. Lily sighed, enjoying his weight pressing her into the mattress and relishing the heat blooming between her legs. She took his hand and put it on her breast, giving him an expectant, cat-like smile. His eyes seemed to shine as he gently drew his fingers over the soft mound and she gasped lightly. She reached up and pulled his head down to kiss him again, arching her back as he cupped both hands on her chest, rubbing his thumbs across the hardening nipples. She whimpered quietly when he moved down to flick his tongue over the hardened peaks while sliding one hand down her stomach.

"James?" she called nervously as he continued moving downward.

"Hmm?" He was busy kissing down her stomach, enjoying her gasps and squeaks when he dipped his tongue into her belly button. Unlike Lily, he had had the benefit of years to imagine what it would be like to have sex with her and he was eager to check everything off his list. He smoothed his hands around bum before impatiently tugging her legs open.

"What are you doing?" she panted as he continued to kiss lower.

"Nervous?" he teased sensually, stopping to look up at her.

Though the room was fairly cool, she felt like she was on fire. "N-not really. I'm just not used to having you down there."

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, catching the anxiety in her voice.

Lily sat up and pulled him into a firm hug, an inexplicable thrill of fear rolling through her. He held her tenderly until her hands began moving again. She smoothed them up and down his bare chest before reaching down to put her hand around his hardened penis. Drawing back, she leaned over him, licking the tip of his erection before gently sucking on the head. She drew him into her mouth, relaxing her throat as she pushed deeper. James leaned his head back and moaned, putting his hand on her hair as she worked up and down. She looked up to grin at him and he pulled her up against him, kissing her fervently as they crashed back onto the bed.

She wrapped her arms and legs around him, holding him tight as he positioned himself between her thighs. He prodded her gently and then rubbed up across her clitoris, causing her to moan into his shoulder. Prodding again, he tensed. "Hold on." He pushed himself into her and she gasped in pleasure before he slowly began thrusting. She put her hands up over her head, pushing off against the headboard as she rocked into his thrusts, spreading her legs so he could move deeper inside of her.

She let out a small cry as he suddenly scooped her up and pushed her back against the wall above his bed, pounding into her from a new position as she did her best to stifle her moans. Whereas the night before had been playful and exploratory, it was clear this morning that he meant business. Her nails bit into his skin as she did her best to hold onto him. She could feel the pressure building as he continued his ruthless assault.

James kept going as she climaxed, building the heat inside of her again as he moved behind her, hooking one of his hands under her knee and grasping her breast as he held her against him. Lily pushed her hands against the wall to steady herself, unable to think past the explosions of pleasure torching her body. She could no longer stifle the sharp cries issuing from her throat as her world became centered on his hard thrusts. Going rigid, James came inside her, causing her to moan as her muscles contracted with yet another climax. They collapsed onto the bed, trembling, sweating, and panting as they clung to one another.

"What the hell was that?" she giggled as she rolled over to look at him.

James smiled, pushing her hair out of her face and kissing her briefly. "What? You didn't like that?"

"I liked it, it's just that I tell you I'm sore and you pound me like a nail," she replied in a falsely outraged voice. "Or were you just trying to make sure the whole house knew what we were doing?"

"It's not my fault you're a screamer," James replied with a smile as he stretched.

Lily laughed and shook her head, throwing her arm over her eyes and pretending he couldn't see her blush. "Yes, it is," she said emphatically.

James chuckled lightly and put his arms around her, wrestling with her playfully when she tried to get away. She rolled over on top of him, working to pin his hands to the mattress as she kissed him. After a moment, she bolted straight upright, causing James to groan uncomfortably. "Oh my God! Petunia!"

"Careful, there," James admonished seriously. "What's the problem?"

Rather than answer, she rolled off of him, dragging the sheet with her, and started furiously plucking through the bedding muttering, "Shit, shit, shit!"

James grabbed her hand and leveled her with a concerned look. "What is it, love?"

"Where are my clothes? I _need_ clothes! My sister doesn't know where I am and she's gonna be frantic," she cried, pulling away from his grasp and returning to her futile search.

"Your clothes are in the other room all bloody. Get something out of the wardrobe," he replied helpfully, dragging himself after her.

"I can't wear your clothes, James," she snapped impatiently as she headed toward the door. James flicked his wand and the knob pulled out of her hand to slam the door shut. She turned to glare at him. "I _need _to go, James."

Ignoring her impatient look, he moved over to the wardrobe and ripped it open before throwing clothes at her. Girls clothes, she realized, in her size. Suddenly, she remembered that all of the wardrobes in the Potter mansion were enchanted to provide clothes for anyone. "Take these and get dressed if you're in such a hurry," he told her shortly, pressing a pair of jeans into her hands.

Realizing how awful she'd been behaving, she put a hand to his face and kissed him gratefully and smiled up at him. "Thank you, James. Sorry."

He grinned down at her fondly before reaching around to grab a handful of her ass. Accompanied by her outraged shout, he said, "It's fine, just get dressed and get going."

"Will you wait to tell your parents, please? I want to be with you," she said softly as she shoved herself into a pair of blue jeans.

"Of course," he replied readily, making her sigh in relief. Hurriedly, she pulled herself together as best she could, using her wand to tame her unruly hair while James watched her rushing about from his place on the bed with avid interest. She kissed him once more before disapparating, promising to contact him as soon as she could. She appeared a moment later outside the house and took a steadying breath before letting herself calmly inside.

"Tuny? I'm home!" she called as she kicked off her shoes in the front entryway. The house was dead silent so she moved up the stairs, assuming her sister was out. Maybe she hadn't even notice Lily hadn't come home the night before.

She entered her bedroom and stared in surprise. Two suitcases were lying closed on her bed and all of her things had been cleared out. Soft footsteps sounded from down the hall and she turned quizzically to find her sister walking up behind her, a stern look on her face.

"Petunia, I-"

"We saw the news. You said you were going for a _walk_, Lily, not to go vandalize a British monument! Ancient artifacts destroyed! Windows shattered! Police and firemen trying to save the building! Bodies!" she recounted angrily. "Do you know how horrified Vernon was? What if his clients found out his _sister-in-law_ was responsible for all of that?"

Lily's stomach dropped as tears flooded her sister's eyes. She hadn't even thought about what had happened being in the news, let alone suspected her sister would be able to connect it to her. "Petunia, I'm sorry. I just-"

"Save it, Lily," she snapped harshly. "You _promised_ me you would respect our rules and you've been sneaking around behind my back just like always. _You're not_ special, Lily. Just because you're a witch doesn't mean you can do whatever you like. Get out of my house. I should've never let you come back after all you've done."

Lily considered arguing. Pleading. Explaining. But one look at her sister's face told her that she had had enough. Numbly, she went to collect her bags before turning back to look at the older girl once more. "I really _am _sorry, Petunia. I never meant to hurt you."

Her sister kept her eyes averted and remained stubbornly silent as she prepared to disapparate. At the last moment, she asked, "Where will you go, Lily?"

Catching her gaze, she shrugged. "James asked me to marry him."

Petunia snorted and crossed her arms over her chest, roughly dashing a tear off her cheek. "Does he even have a job, Lily? Can he take care of you?"

"I'll be fine, Tuny," Lily assured her softly. "You take care. I- I love you."

The older girl let out a soft, incredulous laugh as more tears spilled onto her cheeks. "Right."

"I do, Petunia," she insisted gently. When her sister refused to look at her, she disapparated, arriving at the Potter Mansion an instant later with a very heavy heart. She caught sight of James watching her through the window and shrugged at him with a mirthless smile as she moved toward the door. He met her on the threshold and she dropped her bags before leaning into his embrace.

James kissed the top of her head and looked down at her, surprised to find tears in her eyes. "What is it, love?"

"Apparently everything that happened last night was on the news and my sister realized I was there, somehow," she replied dully, rubbing her cheek across his shoulder to wipe away her tears. "She made me leave."

Rubbing her back to comfort her, James felt like an ass for being excited about her bad news. He was saved from an inevitable argument, however, by his parent's appearance in the entry hall. "Is there are reason you're keeping that poor girl out of the house, James?" Adele asked gently.

Lily smiled up at him, somehow sensing the near-miss, before turning into the room and grinning at his parents. "We have something to tell you."

If they expected his parents to be surprised, they were sorely mistaken. The Potters were ecstatic and the announcement was followed by hugs, kisses, and tears all around before Aldan decided that the occasion called for champagne. Lily wasn't sure how it happened, but Peter, Remus and Sirius arrived minutes later, followed closely by a host of other friends from school, including the Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Slughorn. Everyone had come with hearty congratulations, although the other Marauders had some cautionary advice to pass on to Lily.

"Don't ever go through his pockets, Lily," Peter cautioned sternly. "I almost lost a finger once looking for a spare quill."

"If he wants to buy some mice, for the love of god don't ask what they're for. I'll never be able to enjoy treacle tart again!" Remus moaned, putting an arm around her shoulders.

Sirius had the final word as he cautioned, "And if the door is locked, whatever you do _don't _try to get in. You might go blind."

Lily and James both laughed good-naturedly at these hysterical warnings, which were cut short by Alice darting through the group to hug Lily enthusiastically. "Oh, Lily, you finally figured it out! The rest of us have been waiting for something like this for _ages._ If you hurt her, James, I'll kill you and make everyone forget you ever existed."

"So have you guys talked about the big day, yet?" Frank asked eagerly as he wrapped an arm around Alice's waist.

Lily looked up at James and he smiled at her expectantly. "Christmas?" James looked so disappointed that the whole group began to laugh. "Well it can't be too soon because we need to get everything ready, and we don't want it to get in the way of Frank and Alice's wedding, do we?"

Alice groaned and took her hand. "Trust me, Lily. The faster you do it, the smaller it'll be. Frank's mum has made us push it back three times already because she keeps thinking of new things. Get married over the weekend and get it over with."

"I think she means 'Before you change your mind and run, screaming, for the hills,'" Peter amended helpfully, causing everyone to laugh.

"My thoughts, exactly," Professor McGonagall put in dryly, drawing everyone's gaze as she gave them a small smile. "You'd better hold onto this one, Potter. I'm not sure any other girl would have you with all of the ridiculous nonsense you and your friends get up to."

Lily tearfully hugged her old professor, mysteriously moved by the statement, but James merely grinned. "I intend to, Professor. And if she tries to run away, I always have a back up plan."

"There's nothing more romantic than forcing someone to marry you against their will," Adele laughed as she, Aldan, and Dumbledore joined the group of young people.

The Headmaster's eyes twinkled at the joke, and he congratulated them warmly. Lily found herself looking at the affable old man in a different light. To her, he had always seemed like a wise old grandfather and, though she didn't know him that well, often imagined he spent his free time napping, listening to old music, and playing games with his friends. Was it possible that this pleasant, elderly man was really leading a secret revolt against Voldemort?

Dumbledore seemed to understand the significance of her critical gaze and he smiled at her benignly. Turning his twinkling blue eyes on James and the rest of the group, he asked if he could borrow her for a moment and led her to the far side of the room with a gentle hand to her elbow. "James sent me an owl earlier today to tell me the good news," the headmaster commented casually.

Lily glanced up at him, searching his face for some hint of meaning behind his words, but found nothing to assuage her curiosity. "Professor, James told me about the... the Order?"

"The Order of the Phoenix," Dumbledore filled in with a kind smile. "Yes, he said as much in his note. I understand that you're probably quite confused and frightened about this, but these are desperate times, Miss Evans. I think you'll find that times like these bring out the best and worst in otherwise normal people. Noble people like James simply cannot stand by and allow such atrocities to be perpetrated. You'll remember what we discussed during the school year?"

Lily nodded uncomfortably and Dumbledore put a comforting hand on her arm. "So you know why we feel compelled to do what we do. No one is asking you to join, Lily, but we do want you to understand our reasoning."

Unsure of what to say, Lily studied her old Headmaster's face for a long moment before nodding again. He gave her another twinkling smile before leading her back to the group. James immediately took her hand and searched her face, but she only gave him a small smile and turned back to their guests, repressing her whirring thoughts beneath a happy facade for the time being.

The impromptu celebration lasted much longer than anyone intended, but it served to make Lily feel better about her sister and forget about the events of the previous evening. By the time their guests decided to leave, they had decided to get married in early November, which was less than two months away and nearly a whole month after Alice and Frank's wedding.

Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry this took so long. I feel like I'm writing crap lately, so some positive feedback would be very encouraging.


	20. A man who fights for his ideals is alive

"James Aldan Potter, I am going to _kill_ you!" Lily shouted as she chased him through the mansion. Since they'd become engaged, his parents had moved Lily into their wing of the house in an effort to "avoid incidences" as his father called it. To be respectful, they had cut down on their sexual activities for their sake and James had begun spending more time than ever with his friends. Unfortunately, this extra time was only causing him to revert back to some of his more unsavory habits.

"It was a _joke_, Lily. You love me," he defended as he shot out the back door of the kitchen into the cool October afternoon. He spun once he had gained a clear space to make his stand and held his wand in front of himself defensively. "Now let's just calm down and think about this rationally."

"You're right," she bit out sarcastically, "let's _rationally_ consider why I shouldn't kill you for transfiguring my bra into a weasel in front ofyour_ friends _while I was minding my own business in the library."

James couldn't help the amused grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth when he spotted his mates peering eagerly out of the kitchen window, which only served to prod her rage to greater heights. "In my defense, I _tried _to get your attention before."

Lily rolled her eyes, waving her wand dangerously as she gesticulated. "Oh yes, let's not forget about the past _four hours_ of you following me around the house trying to play Guess Where Your Hand Is!"

"I _just_ got my invisibility cloak back from Dumbledore and wanted to make sure it still worked," he replied reasonably, backing up a few paces as she advanced on him. She glared at him imperiously for another moment before suddenly spinning away and heading toward the hedge maze. Caught off balance by her sudden retreat, he loped after her. Under the cover of the foliage, he transformed into a stag and kept pace with her as she tried to lose him.

Finally, she turned and he could see that she was just barely hanging on to her laughter, a fact which only served to irritate her further. In an instant, he was a man again and they stood smiling at each other until Lily started chuckling and moved forward to hug him. "Why do you feel compelled to act like a fourth year lately, James? It's not nearly as cute as it used to be."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked smugly, leaning his forehead against hers and grinning down at her.

"_Yes_," she replied without hesitation. "We're getting married in under a month, James, and there's so much to do for the wedding, not to mention helping Alice with _her_ wedding and family problems, finding a place for us to live, shopping for furniture-"

"My parents _said_ we could stay here," James reminded her gently as he took her hand, leading her out of the maze.

"I _know_ there's plenty of space here, James, but I want us to have our own place and your parents understand _that_ too. I want the chance to set up my _own_ house. Do you understand?" Rather than answer, James put his palm to his mouth and blew an enormous raspberry, which caused his friends, who had been clandestinely stalking them for the past several minutes, to burst into raucous laughter. Lily emitted a sigh of long-suffering as the boys tumbled out of the bushes and turned away from them again. "If you guys don't find something mature and productive to do in the next ten minutes, I am going to shoot you!"

"Any suggestions?" Peter called sardonically as the boys followed after her, tumbling and wrestling with each other like werewolf cubs.

"Play Quidditch! Clean your dad's laboratory! Learn a new spell! Write an opinion article for the Daily Prophet! Reorganize the library by color! Anything! Just stay the hell away from me for a few hours so that I don't try to murder you!" she shouted angrily, suddenly transported back to school and wondering how cruel fate had conspired to lump her together with these guys for the rest of her life. Oddly enough, she didn't even consider making a different choice, though there was still time.

"Are you boys behaving yourselves?" Adele asked with a knowing smile as she calmly stirred a cup of tea in the kitchen doorway.

In an instant, the boys' faces grew cherubic and Lily had to fight laughter once more. "They're being evil, Adele," she tattled remorselessly, drawing betrayed glares from the young men.

Adele smiled at her sympathetically and put a comforting hand on her arm. "Lily, dear, would you do me a favor if I could get rid of these louse's for the time being?"

"Thanks, mum," James said shortly.

The women ignored him and Lily nodded. "Yes, of course. What do you need?"

"Aldan has been feeling a little under the weather for the past few days and I just thought, with your training in medicine, maybe you could take a look at him. He refuses to go to the doctor and I..." She broke off anxiously, blinking away tears that sobered the young people.

Lily hugged her future mother-in-law tightly before smiling at her. "It's probably just a cold, Adele. Don't worry. I'll fix him up."

She accepted the comfort gratefully, but the fear in her hazel eyes remained as she took a deep breath. "As much as he assures me I'm being silly, I can't help but worry about him."

"I'll go see him now," Lily assured her quickly. She cast a suddenly solemn look at the four boys before stepping over and catching James in a fierce hug, kissing him hard. Suddenly, she wasn't so eager to be rid of him. Their eyes met and they exchanged a moment of silent communication.

"Hey, mum, do you need any help in the green house today?" James asked as Lily retreated into the kitchen.

"Real help or help like the time you tried to teach my fanged geranium to fetch?" Lily heard Adele ask dryly before she was swallowed up by the cavernous house.

She found Aldan in his study, staring listlessly out the window in front of a desk full of ignored papers. For a moment, she just watched him and realized for the first time that he really wasn't a young man anymore. His gray, untidy hair was fading to white and his handsome face was growing more weary and wrinkled; his shoulders stooping more prominently. She tapped her knuckles on the open door, drawing his attention. Aldan beamed at her in welcome and invited her in warmly.

"What can I do for you, my dear?" he asked kindly.

Lily smiled, working up her courage as she took a seat across from him. "I hear you're not feeling too well lately, Aldan. Adele was worried about you and asked me to come check you over," she told him straightforwardly.

His smile was instantly replaced by a deep scowl and he looked down at his papers before transferring his gaze to the window and finally returning his eyes to her face. "I'm fine, Lily. Dely's just getting a little overprotective."

Lily stood and moved around the desk, taking his hand in both of hers and looking down at him earnestly. "We all just want to be sure you're okay, Aldan. I think we both know you can't stay forever, but we want to keep you around as long as possible."

Aldan Potter's eyes suddenly clouded and he looked down at her hands and sighed. "I'm so glad that my son found someone as special as you, Lily." He looked up and smiled at her. "You're right. Adele and I won't be around forever, but it gives us comfort to know that James won't be alone, whatever happens."

Lily flicked her wand and the door closed slowly. She crouched in front of James's father and looked up into his face earnestly. "Is there something you're not telling us, Aldan?"

He smiled and put a hand on her cheek. "I'm old and tired, and this weather is getting into my bones. Don't worry about me. You kids have enough on your minds with the wedding and James..." He trailed off, leaving James's vigilante activities hanging unspoken between them.

"I'll keep him safe, Aldan. I promise," she swore suddenly, feeling a small thrill of fear in the pit of her stomach as she recognized what she was pledging to.

Her words gave him little comfort and he stood stiffly, drawing her up as well. "It's so difficult to keep people safe these days, love," he said cryptically. "Just promise me that you'll take care of him."

She said she would as he led her to the door and they both agreed to tell Adele it was just a cold. Lily felt a small twinge of guilt lying to the worried woman, but didn't want to cause any problems between her and her husband. She found the boys working diligently in the conservatory and caught hold of James before anyone noticed, dragging him back into a cupboard that smelled strongly of soil.

"Lily, what-" he began, only to be cut off by her pressing her lips firmly to his. He only hesitated for a moment before putting his arms around her waist and leaning back to sit on a large crate. She sat on his lap, pressing herself up against him and kissing him fervently. Finally, she drew back and put her hands on his face, scrutinizing him critically while he tried to get his brain to work beyond a vague feeling that something was probably wrong.

"James, I want to come with you tonight," she told him firmly, referring to his work with the Order. "I know I haven't been very supportive, but I really want to be there for you... just in case..."

James frowned and reached up to touch her cheek. "It's okay, Lily. I don't need you there. It could be dangerous tonight."

She kissed him again, drowning out more protests as she tightened her legs around his waist and ground into him seductively. She broke off with a gasp when he grabbed her ass and continued, "You see, I can't really expect you to change your life just because we're getting married. I am going to have to do things to make you happy, too, and I'd like to start here."

"With the Order or... _here?_" he asked cautiously, feeling a little confused about the mixed signals he was receiving. At the moment, he wasn't sure if she was offering to follow him into danger or give him a lap dance.

Waving her hand dismissively, she said, "With the Order. I mean it, James, I really want to give it a chance."

"So why did you drag me into a cupboard to snog and... seduce me to tell me this?" he asked slowly, not wanting to put her off whatever she felt she was accomplishing with such tactics. They hadn't had sex in over a week, mostly due to Lily's self-control, and, though he enjoyed her company, James's rambunctious behavior might be more related to that fact than either of them realized. In truth, he was ready to go with the slightest provocation.

"I just need to feel close to you right now," she explained quietly, threading her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and giving him a small smile.

"Okay," he agreed quickly, not needing any more encouragement. He promptly stood and turned her back to him, bending her over and reaching around to unzip her pants before she slapped his hands away.

"That's not what I meant when I said close," she told him sharply, turning back to put her arms around him. "You're not going to take me from behind in your mother's conservatory with your friends _probably_ listening at the door."

"No we're not!" Remus instantly denied from the other side of the door, causing the pair to laugh. They moved out into the public and continued helping James's mother for the next several hours. Unfortunately, James hadn't realized that Lily was _actually_ serious about joining the Order and the brief tranquility did not last long after dinner.

"Just because we're getting married doesn't mean you can tell me what to do, so for the last time, I'm _going_," Lily argued as James followed her into her bedroom. "I _just _want to go talk with Dumbledore, James," she reasoned as he glared impassively at her from the doorway of her bathroom as she pulled her hair back into a low ponytail. She made eye contact with him in the mirror and pursed her lips at his mulish look. "It's not like we're going out to defeat You-Know-Who tonight. The most dangerous thing I'll probably encounter is Hagrid's rock cakes!"

"You're not going," James insisted as he pushed himself away from the doorframe and followed her back into her room, watching irritably as she pulled on her shoes and socks. "I don't want you involved in this, Lily, it's too dangerous."

Lily stood and crossed the room, planting herself in front of him and glaring up with glittering green eyes. "So it's fine for you and your mates, but too dangerous for me?" she asked sharply. "You've got to examine your double-standards, love. What if I told you that I wouldn't allow _you_ to go anymore?"

"You can't stop me!" he spluttered.

"And why is that?" she spat victoriously. "You _know_ it bothers me. You just don't want me to go because you're afraid I'll get hurt, but if you're going, I can't sit back and let you put yourself in danger."

"That's completely different!" James countered heatedly, his face reddening. "You know Sirius and the guys have my back! I won't be able to concentrate if you're there."

Lily's face burned at the insinuation and shouted, "Why? Because you don't think I can take care of myself?"

James raked a frustrated hand through his hair. "It's not that you can't take care of yourself, but this isn't school, Lily. These people are _dangerous_. They kill and torture innocent people without the slightest provocation, and we're _really_ provoking them. I don't think you understand how serious it is."

"Somebody call me?" Sirius stuck his head in the doorway with a rakish grin.

"No!" Lily and James shouted simultaneously.

Sirius merely shrugged and ambled into the room, ready to enjoy the fight, but Remus quickly stuck his head in the doorway and called, "I'm sorry to break up this little love fest, but it's time for us to go."

"Fine," Lily replied quickly. "Just let me get my cloak."

"For the last time, Lily, you're not going," James shouted as she moved to the wardrobe.

"Honestly, Prongs, I don't quite see you stopping her at this point," Sirius interjected confidentially. "You know how stubborn she can be."

"Shut up, Sirius," Lily snapped irritably as she swung a black cloak around her shoulders. Glaring imperiously at James, she repeated, "I'm going," before disapparating.

James dragged an angry hand through his hair before turning to his friends, including Peter who had joined Remus in the doorway, to find them smiling at him sheepishly. "Would it have killed you lads to have been a bit more helpful?"

"Better you than me, mate. She's just getting to the point where she can stand being around us for long periods of time. You ready then?" Sirius replied cheerily, pushing a lock of dark hair out of his eyes.

James nodded grudgingly and seconds later they were standing outside a dilapidated-looking mansion on the outskirts of a sleepy-looking town. The boys hunched their shoulders as they made their way up the rickety steps to the enormous double doors of the rambling Victorian. "I still can't believe Frank convinced his mum to let us meet here."

His friends agreed emphatically as they stopped on the porch and rang the bell. They were admitted by a kooky-looking old man who they had learned was Uncle Algie, and were led into an enormous parlor where half a dozen people were already milling around impatiently. Lily was absorbed in conversation with Frank and Alice and didn't even glance in their direction as they entered.

Dumbledore was standing in the corner in earnest conversation with a man Lily recognized with a start as Alastor Moody, the Auror. Without hesitation, James moved over to join them and she quickly returned her gaze to her companions. She didn't notice Frank and Alice exchanging meaningful looks with each other and James while she was distracted. "So, what's wrong with you and James?" Alice asked without preamble.

"Nothing's wrong with me and James," Lily denied automatically. "He's just a prat, like always. I decided I wanted to come and find out what all of this is about and he went temporarily insane."

This earned another look between the couple and Lily sighed. "Actually, Lily, I really wasn't comfortable with Alice doing this at first," Frank admitted quietly. "I'm still not, but she feels really strongly about the cause. I can see where James is coming from."

"He just wants to make sure you're safe, Lily," Alice added softly, reaching over to squeeze her arm.

Lily opened her mouth to reply, but was intercepted by Dumbledore, who invited her to come speak with him. She had become better acquainted with the Longbottom house in the past few weeks helping Alice to make preparations for the wedding, which was only a week away, and caught on quickly when her old Headmaster led her toward the library. She was surprised, however, when they entered to find James waiting anxiously beside the ornate fireplace, which crackled with a merry flame.

"James tells me you're interested in signing up," Dumbledore said without preamble as he led her to one of the darkly upholstered sofas near the fireplace.

"I'm worried about him," she told him honestly as she took a seat. James came over and settled beside her, pulling her hand between both of his own. "I know he feels strongly about all of this, so I wanted to get involved."

Dumbledore's eyes were grave as he regarded the pair. James was holding her hand so protectively, he seemed ready to bolt. Finally, the old wizard smiled at them. "Lily, I understand your motivations, but if you are coming just to protect James, you could put yourself and other people in horrible danger. That being said, you're a smart, talented young witch. You've seen Voldemort and you've read about all of the things he's done, so you know what you're facing. If you want to be a part of our group, I cannot deny you, so long as you understand what you're committing to."

"But Professor-" James began, but Lily squeezed his hand sharply.

"James, I _want_ to do this," she told him softly, turning to give him a gently stubborn look. "I want to help."

"It's settled, then," Dumbledore said quietly as he stood. "James, why don't you take Lily with you tonight? You can keep an eye on her and there will be plenty of people about should there be trouble."

James tried to protest, but Lily clung to his hand and pulled him back down. "Where are we going?"

He sighed, pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly. "We've had a tip from one of the Death Eaters Moody caught that there's going to be an attack on the ministry tonight. It might not even pan out, but a team of us are going to stake it out just to be sure."

"Sounds fun," she said softly, kissing his cheek and standing with him to go meet up with the rest of the members. Nearly two hours later, Lily shivered lightly and blew into her gloved hands as she glanced around the abandoned street. She and Remus had been waiting outside the entrance to the Ministry of Magic for over an hour, yet the predicted attack still had not come. The only thing they had seen was a stray cat that had promptly been chased away by Sirius, who had only just returned to lay obediently next to an invisible James on the far side of the street. She was tempted to question Moody's information, but she shoved the thought away and told herself to remain alert.

Without warning, a loud crash echoed up the pavement and everyone's attention became centered farther down the street where a shop window had suddenly exploded. Following the crash, there was a loud cackle and Lily gripped her wand as she drew herself up into a crouch. She saw Remus tense as well, certain that their vigil had reached its close.

Soon a line of black robed figures emerged from the gloom and approached a single, broken down telephone box. They formed an arc around the red box and held out their wands. Before the incantation could begin, however, the Order attacked. Lily and Remus rushed out with the rest, shooting spells and dodging a return volley. Lily let out a shout as part of the wall exploded over Edgar Bones's head. He turned to dive in her direction as the bricks rained down on him. Lily gritted her teeth and pulled him out of the debris before deflecting a purple ball of light that shot in her direction.

"You okay?" she cried, turning to stand over him in case of attack.

"I'll be fine," he wheezed, stubbornly pushing himself to his feet.

Minerva McGonagall dodged around Lily and turned to give them one of her sharp looks. "Don't just stand there chatting you two, get a move on!" she shouted before flicking her wand and dashing off surprisingly quickly for a woman her age.

Edgar waved her off as he got to his feet and threw out a curse that caused a fire hydrant to explode, knocking one of the Death Eaters against the wall before collapsing to the ground like a rag doll. Lily searched the crowd for James and smiled appreciatively when Dorcas Meadows set off an explosion that threw five Death Eaters in different directions.

Suddenly Lily was tackled off her feet by a tall dark figure just before the wall above her exploded and came crashing down. She was grasped around the waist and dragged out of the way as the remainder of the building collapsed. She turned to smile at her rescuer and found herself looking into a silver Death Mask. Emitting a small scream, she lashed out with her legs, kicking desperately as she reached up to claw at the hood.

She was instantly released and pushed away, but the hood came with her and she stared up in horror at Severus Snape. Glancing around, Severus leaned forward and tugged the hood from her hand. "Get out of here, Lily," he growled menacingly. Without another word, he ran off and there was a loud bang, followed by the distant wail of police sirens. Lily had just managed to push herself up when she heard a series of loud cracks. She looked out onto the decimated street and realized everyone had gone. The fight was over for now.

Lily squatted down and wrapped her arms around herself, shaking as she tried to comprehend what had just occurred. She had just been saved by Severus. Severus Snape was a Death Eater and he had saved her. She felt tears burning her eyes as she tried to understand it all.

Finally she stood and looked around her. Police officers had arrived and they were surveying the scene in abject confusion. One of the officers spotted her and tried to call her over for some questions. He blinked when the young woman didn't even look at him, but simply vanished before his eyes. He shook his head and looked again, but it was as though the woman had never been. 'Get ahold of yourself, man. If you start seeing things you'll end up locked in a nut house,' he told himself, turning back to his work.

"Where is she?" James asked, raking his hand through his hair in pure agitation. Everyone else had arrived back at the Longbottom's in more or less one piece, but Lily was conspicuously absent and James had been pacing for the last few minutes.

"She was fine last I saw, Prongs," Remus tried to reassure him. Despite his dismissals, Remus felt distinctly anxious as well. After all, James had trusted him with making sure she didn't get hurt. There was a loud popping noise in the kitchen and James ran in, almost sagging in relief when he saw Lily, looking dirty and tired, taking a seat beside Hagrid.

"Where the _hell_ have you been, Lily?" he shouted as he stalked toward her. Several other members ducked out as they sensed the coming storm and James reached the table in a tower of rage, just in time for Hagrid to get his legs tangled under the table in his haste to leave.

"I'm fine, James, calm down," she told him in a flat voice, staring blankly at the table.

"You're _not_ fine. It's the first time you've come out with us and you disappeared! What happened? Where the hell have you been?" he cried, still angry and scared.

Lily sighed and stood up, putting her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. "I _am_ fine, James. I'm sorry you were worried."

"We were all a little worried," Dumbledore cut in from his position near the fire. He was holding a big mug of hot chocolate featuring a fat cat declaring "I HATE Mondays!" He regarded the pair over his half-moon spectacles before standing and waving his wand. Two more cups of cocoa appeared in front of them on the table and Lily dropped back to her seat to wrap her hands around the closest one with James slowly following suit.

James, instantly ashamed at Dumbledore having heard his outburst quickly apologized. "I'm sorry about that, Headmaster. I was just afraid something had happened to her." Turning back, he eyed Lily critically and said, "This is why I didn't want you to come, Lily. It's too dangerous."

The comment was more than enough to spark a violent outburst, but Lily simply acted as though she hadn't heard as she dipped her head to sip the hot chocolate. Finally noticing her taciturn lack of response, James scooted closer to her and put an arm around her shoulder. Dumbledore gave him an enigmatic smile before taking his leave.

James leaned his head against hers and asked, "Lily, what is it? Something happened."

With some effort, Lily shook herself out of her reverie and finally looked at him. "I'm fine, James. I just fell and bumped my head, so I'm feeling a little spacy," she lied. She didn't know why, but she just didn't feel right about telling anyone what had happened, even James.

James searched her face for some sign, but nodded when he realized this was all he would get for now. He pulled her closer and kissed her hair before resting his cheek on her head. By some unspoken agreement, the couple soon departed for home. They were both drained by the evening's events and immediately headed upstair for bed. James stopped in the hall when Lily turned to go toward her room and followed her into his parent's wing. Without a word he leaned against the doorjamb, watching as she changed out of her robes into flannel pajamas. He frowned when he spotted the beginnings of several new bruises mottling her pale skin. Once dressed, she lifted a brush from her dresser and pulled out her ponytail to brush her hair.

Finally, she settled on her bed and turned to look at him. "I'd like to be alone tonight, James, if that's all right with you," she told him softly.

Resisting the stab of pain her rejection caused him, James shrugged and turned away. "Whatever you want, Lily," he muttered in a hurt tone before closing her door behind him.

Lily waited until his footsteps faded before getting out of bed and dressing in the dark. Silently, she opened and shut her door and stepped out into the hall, tiptoeing down the stairs as quietly as she could. She reached the landing and turned to the kitchen, making her way stealthily out the back door to the yard. Once outside, she cast a glance up at the dark house before disapparating.

She apparated into another back yard, although it wasn't very well kept. There were piles of dead weeds and a rusty bicycle jutting at an odd angle from the ground, as if someone had tried to bury it and given up halfway through. Lily stepped forward carefully, picking her way to the house before tapping gently on one of the windows. She waited a minute before tapping again, this time slightly louder. The back door opened, causing her to jump as Severus exited his house. He was wearing only a pair of jeans and his pale skin shone in the moonlight. "Severus?" she called softly.

His face hidden in shadow, Snape felt his heart careening against his rib cage at the sound of Lily's voice. "What are you doing here, Lily?" he asked tersely. "Won't your _fiance_ be angry?"

Lily stepped closer to him and reached out for his hand. "Why, Severus? Why are you doing this? Voldemort is _evil_. The Severus I knew would never have helped him."

"Wouldn't I? Don't kid yourself, Lily. This is who I am. This is what I was always meant to do," he replied coldly, pulling his hand away from her. "Besides," he continued in a sad voice. "You have your path and I have mine."

"That's rubbish and you know it, Sev," she cried angrily. "_You_ choose what you do in life, not your family or your blood."

Snape let out a half-hearted laugh and gave her a pitying look. "Believe it or not, Lily, _this_ is what I have chosen."

"You don't have to do this, Severus," Lily argued, reaching to grab his arms.

Suddenly angry, Snape pushed her away from him, causing her to trip and fall backwards, sprawling in the dead grass. He glared down at her and spat, "What are you gonna do about it, eh? You gonna leave Potter and come teach me how to be a good boy? Or do you expect me to become his best mate and just bury the hatchet?"

"Severus, please, just listen to me!" Lily pleaded, pushing herself up and taking a step toward him. When he retreated with a hard look on his face, her temper rose. She advanced on him, grabbing her wand and holding it out for him to take. "You know what? Fine! If you hate mudbloods and muggles so much, what about me? I'm right here, Severus! Have you killed anybody yet? Why not make me your first? And think of how upset Potter will be when he finds out..."

"That's _different,_" he growled, backing up another pace.

_"Why, _Severus_?"_ she breathed tearfully. "Why am I any different from anyone else?"

"_You just are!"_ He shouted angrily, knocking her away from him. He opened his door and glared at her with such vehemence that she stayed where she was. Taking a calming breath, he opened his door and looked back at her. "I won't change my mind, Lily. Don't come here again or I _will_ kill you."

He slammed the door without another word. Lily sighed despondently before disapparating. She arrived in her own room seconds later and clicked on the lamp on her desk. James was staring at her from her bed and she jumped at the sight of him.

Holding a hand to her throat, she said, "James, you startled me. What are you doing here?"

"Where did you go?" he asked suspiciously.

Lily avoided his gaze as she stripped out of her clothes. "I needed to go talk to someone."

"Who did you need to sneak out of the house to see in the dead of night?" he asked sternly, getting up and moving to stand behind her. "And why don't you want me to know about it?"

She kept her face averted as she put her pajamas back on. "I needed to go see an old friend," she mumbled before pulling her shirt over her head.

"Snape?" James pressed ruthlessly. "It was him, wasn't it? Why would you need to go see him, Lily? He hates you and we're all pretty sure he's a Death Eater. What could you possibly have to talk about?"

"We just talked, James," Lily finally defended, her temper rising at his waspish tone. She finally turned to face him and put her hands on her hips. "We talked, okay? We used to be friends until you and your-"

"Me and my what?" he asked belligerently. "Until me and my friends pissed him off so bad he started hating you? The boy is cracked, Lily, if that's his line of reasoning."

"You tortured him and humiliated him in front of me and half the school!" Lily spat in his defense.

"Yes, we did. And he deserved it! So why does he hate you because of what _we_ did?" James argued impatiently.

"He hates me because of you guys! You drove him insane picking on him all of the time and now you and I are getting married! Why shouldn't he hate me for breaking his heart?" she cried, balling her fists at her sides and ignoring the hot tears dripping down her cheeks.

James gave her a hard look and said, "So... what? He was in love with you or something? And you went to see him tonight and deliberately tried to keep it from me? Use your head, Lily! What am I supposed to think?"

"He saved my life tonight!" she shouted before covering her mouth with her hand and sinking to the floor. Tears puddled in her eyes as she looked up at James' still angry face. She continued in a softer tone, "He saved me from that building collapsing. I thought I could talk to him and get him to see reason. We used to be friends. Severus wouldn't have hurt a fly back then. I just don't understand how he could've gone so far."

Seeing her dejection, James dropped beside her on the floor and gathered her into his arms. He held her as she cried and wondered what to say. James knew she wouldn't get any comfort from his explanation: Severus Snape was just a rotten apple. He'd shown nothing but contempt and aggression toward James, so he honestly couldn't fathom Lily's attachment to him.

Without warning, Lily reached up and pulled his head down, kissing him ardently and fumbling with the front of his pajama pants. Confused, James returned the kiss and reached under her shirt to caress her bare skin. If this was how she needed him to be there for her, he'd do his best.

After finally leaving the Longbottom's for the night, Peter trudged wearily toward his house with his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his shoulders hunched against the cold wind. He had meant to apparate right into his back yard, but had missed by a good hundred meters and landed in a copse of trees well behind his mother's house. Although he had been able to legally apparate for nearly six months, he still struggled with accuracy and was finding that repetition didn't help much.

He stopped and looked up when he heard the sinister slither of leaves nearby. "Who's there?" he called anxiously, hoping it was just an animal startled by his presence.

"Hello Peter," a cold, thin voice replied from the darkness of the woods.

Peter immediately felt goose bumps break out all over his body at the sound of the voice and he froze, staring intently into the gathering gloom. "W-What do you want?"

A figure moved beneath the trees, making small rustling noises as it glided toward him. Halting just beneath the cover of shadows, Peter could make out the shape of a tall, thin man swathed in a black cloak with the hood pulled up to hide his face.

"If that's you, Sirius, I'm going to kill you," Peter announced with his heart in his throat as he stared, transfixed at the mysterious figure. The man chuckled softly, sending a chill up Peter's spine as he suddenly realized it wasn't one of his friends.

"We have a lot to talk about, Peter Pettigrew," the Dark Lord rasped softly as he stepped into the fading light. Peter stared in horror at the pale face and red, snakelike eyes and began to tremble all over. "I am not a patient man, Peter. You have been given two opportunities to prove your loyalty to me and have thus far failed miserably."

"I-I'm doing my best, m-my lord," Peter whimpered pitifully, backpedalling and tripping over a root. He fell awkwardly to the ground and immediately cringed away from the enormous snake that slithered toward him. Lord Voldemort let out another soft chuckle as he moved forward and allowed the snake to wind its massive body up his robes to rest its head on its shoulder, piercing Peter with a glassy stare. The Dark Lord smiled fondly at the snake before turning an intense gaze on Peter.

"You're best doesn't seem to be good enough, Pettigrew. If I didn't need your help bringing down Dumbledore's silly Order, I'd kill you now. But as I said earlier, we have a lot to talk about. Since I am so kind, I will give you a choice: You will hand me one of the members of the Order or you will die," Voldemort drawled with a sharp smile.

Author's note: Please review! It makes me feel good about myself and I'm working with a sinus infection.


	21. Everybody Lives

The wedding was only three days away when the Order received a bit of information that they simply could not resist. Under the influence of Veritsaserum, a captured Death Eater had revealed the location of one of Voldemort's secret bases. Compelled to tell the truth, the man confessed there were weapons, strategic plans, and more than ten important Death Eaters meeting with the Dark Lord at the ruins of an old castle _that night_. Moody urged Dumbledore to take action immediately, but Hogwart's Headmaster wanted to be more cautious. He worried Voldemort had somehow foreseen this and was setting a trap.

Alice was helping Lily with her final fitting when James apparated into the shop, causing the girls to scream and throw things at him. "James! You're not allowed to see the dress before the wedding, it's bad luck!" Alice shouted as he ducked behind a sofa and the proprietress darted out of the room.

"Then cover her up! I need to tell her something," he cried as Lily's shoe sailed over his head.

The girls were giggling hysterically by the time Lily had dragged on a robe over her dress and come around to liberate him. She helped him up and he returned her shoe with a wry grin before putting his hand on her cheek and kissing her gently. "Dumbledore called. Important mission we've got to do tonight," he explained quickly. He didn't miss her confused, disappointed look.

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't go on any raids before the wedding," she reminded him gently, reaching up to brush her fingers down his cheek where a short stubble was growing.

James had the good grace to look sheepish, but he hugged her tightly. "I know, love, but this could be really important. Tonight could change everything."

Lily bit her lip and looked up at him anxiously before nodding and turning away, gathering up her skirts. "All right, James, but I'm coming with you."

He caught her hand before she could take two steps and pulled her back. "No, Lily. It's too dangerous."

She stared at him, not wanting to argue in her wedding dress just before the big day, but unable to think of a nice way to tell him he was being a chauvinistic prat. James caught her face in his hands, kissing her gently before looking at her so hopefully that she felt her irritation beginning to melt. "Lily, tonight really could change _everything_. We could stop Voldemort. People would be safe again. It's not something I can just pass up."

Tears sparkled in her eyes as she glanced away from him at Alice, who was looking as nervous as she felt. With a low groan, she gripped his arms tightly and relented. "Okay! Fine! Go... save the world! But you'd bloody well get back here soon... and in one piece!"

He kissed her fiercely, giving her a maniacal grin that made her giggle before disapparating. She moved over to hug her friend anxiously. "You can go to Frank if you want, Alice. He's probably going too."

"Not without me if he knows what's good for him," she replied wryly, leaning back to draw the robe off her shoulders for one last look at the dress as if it could somehow give her courage. Flicking her eyes upward, she caught her friend around the head and kissed her quickly. "You're gorgeous, Lily. And just think... three days from now, we could be celebrating a whole lot more than just your wedding!"

She agreed vaguely, allowing Alice to disapparate before moving to change out of her wedding dress. The plump witch that owned the shop bustled into the changing room to help her, but her compliments were lost on Lily as she considered what James was facing. She was relieved when the woman finally left, giving her time to change back into her street clothes. When she caught sight of herself in the mirror, her eyes filled with tears again and she blinked rapidly, drawing in a deep breath. "He'll be fine. The guys will be with him. Nothing bad can happen to the Marauders," she reassured herself firmly. Unfortunately, her reflection still looked terrified.

Lily was wearing a trail in James's carpet by three o'clock the next morning. The group had left for the raid just before midnight and had yet to return, leaving her with nothing to do but wait anxiously. She hadn't been able to do anything all day but sit and stare at the clock. Dinner with James's parents had been a silent parody in which no one said what they were really thinking and they all pushed their food around their plates without eating anything. It came as no surprise that they decided to go to bed early, although Lily was fairly certain that they were getting the same amount of rest as her.

A loud crack announced someone's arrival and Lily dashed out into the hallway, pulling up short when she found Peter rushing away anxiously. There had been a big debate about letting him go since his friends had been worried about him holding his own against the Death Eaters, but he had insisted on going to make sure they were safe. After nearly a night-long battle, he definitely looked worse for the wear. His robes were covered in mud, the side of his head was singed, and he looked absolutely panicked.

"Peter! What is it?" she called, causing him to spin around and race back toward her.

"Lily, you've gotta help! It was a trap!" he cried fretfully. "They knew we were coming and... and, so many people..." He took a calming breath. "They've got James. I- I don't know who else, but they've got him and they'll... they'll..."

"It's okay Peter," she assured him briskly, fighting the panic that threatened to overwhelm her as she squeezed his hand. "We'll go. Right now. Let's go and find him. We'll bring him home safe, yeah?"

He smiled at her miserably, trying to draw courage from her serene control and feeling like a beast for bringing this upon his best friends. They apparated to the Longbottom's first, not foolish enough to go barreling in without reinforcements. They found a ragged group of survivors being tended by the members who had stayed behind. Remus rushed toward them from the kitchen, grabbing Lily into a fierce hug.

"James and Sirius are still missing," he told her anxiously.

"Bloody idiots," she murmured crossly before turning to step up onto a chair and face the group. "Oi! Everyone! I'm getting married in two days, but my groom and his best man haven't come back. Who's coming with me to rescue them?"

Without hesitation, those able to walk came to her side. Frank and Alice moved forward with grim smiles, even though Frank's leg was heavily bandaged and he had a cut trickling blood down the side of his head. Dorcas Meadowes and Marlene McKinnon were right behind, standing up bravely though they both showed signs of scorch marks. Lily nearly cried when Dumbledore, the Prewetts, Moody, McGonagall, and Hagrid completed the group. Instead, she steeled herself and nodded briskly. "Let's go."

James and Sirius sat tied back to back in a dank, windowless room, waiting for the inevitable. They had both been beaten to a bloody pulp, but had only cried for more and laughed at their captors as they tortured them. At the moment, they knew beyond a doubt that they were waiting for Voldemort himself to come kill them.

"Hey Padfoot?" James said thickly in the darkness, drawing his friend's attention immediately.

"Yeah, Prongs?" Sirius wheezed, pretty certain that his ribs had been broken at some point.

James couldn't help grinning, though it felt like his face was trying to split in half from the effort. "I can't wait to tell our kids about this when we get old."

Sirius chuckled softly, leaning back against his best friend in an effort to ease his breathing. "The little brats will probably never believe us."

"Naw... they'll go to school and tell all of their friends how their dads defeated the Dark Lord," James assured him positively.

"Single-handedly," Sirius added, looking up as light footsteps sounded in the corridor outside their door. "Got any more tricks, Prongs? We could use some of that old Potter ingenuity right now."

James's laugh turned into a hacking cough and he spat blood onto the ground before straightening to look toward the door. "Sure, Padfoot. Why don't you just take a nap and let me take care of this? Nothing I can't handle."

The two boys were still chuckling when their cell was unlocked and they were converged upon by a mass of hooded figures, who pulled them up roughly by their arms to march them out of the room. They squinted in the predawn light after spending hours in darkness, but did their best to walk bravely as they were led through the crumbling ruins of the castle. Voldemort was in what used to be a great hall, lounging expectantly on an ornate, black marble throne. His robes hung loosely around his gaunt frame, causing James to think vaguely of a buzzard. His chuckles started Sirius's and they only stopped when they were both cuffed sharply around their heads.

"Show some respect," the Death Eater leading the procession hissed sharply. James and Sirius stared in surprise at the woman, whose voice seemed oddly familiar. Feeling distinctly hazy, they turned back to the Dark Lord, who was flanked on all sides by rows of his followers. At that moment, the boys fought despair as they did the math and realized there were far too many of them to contend with.

As they reached the dais, Voldemort rose from the chair, his serpentine face contorted into a hideous grin. "It's nice that you boys could make it on such short notice... and I can't tell you how pleased I am that you two stuck around for me to arrive," he told them pleasantly.

Sirius spat in the dirt at his feet before laughing up at him. "Yeah, well, we aim to please."

This statement earned him a fist to the side of his head and James let out a loud yell as he lunged at the Death Eater who struck him, only to be dragged back and punched in the face with enough force to snap his glasses cleanly in half. The horrible scene around him was instantly lost as one side of his glasses fell to the dirt floor and the other dangled uselessly around his ear. They had been pretty well useless anyway in the dank hole they had been kept in and speckled with mud and blood for the past few hours, but he still hated the fear that churned in his stomach at the total loss of his sight.

Voldemort merely smiled at the carnage and held out a hand to them. "You mustn't be so rude, boys, after I've gone out of my way to show you hospitality. Not even a thank you... what would your parents think?"

He laughed evilly, causing his minions to chuckle mindlessly. To James, they sounded like a group of hyenas ready for dinner. He was so lightheaded and numb from the loss of blood and hours of torture that he lowered his eyes so that he wouldn't start laughing too. Without warning, the Death Eaters holding their arms behind their backs kicked their legs out from under them, sending them crashing to their knees.

"None of that, now," Voldemort corrected them sharply, effectively silencing the crowd of murderers. "Help them up. These boys deserve to die with dignity. On their feet, like real men. I'm sure Dumbledore would appreciate us showing his sacrifices respect."

There was a stir at the side of the room as a Death Eater stepped forward into the clear space beside the dais, drawing everyone's attention. James's only sign that something was wrong was the sound of feet shuffling, until Sirius stiffened as Lily tugged off the mask and grinned confidently at the Dark Lord. James felt his heart stop and he swayed on his feet when he heard her call, "Did you really think we wouldn't come back for them?"

Voldemort hissed in surprise, but movement on the other side of platform caught his attention when Dumbledore himself stepped up, his eyes flashing angrily as he raised his wand. "This ends now, Tom."

The room seemed to explode with activity as flurries of bodies and spells rocketed around the ruins. James dropped weakly to his knees when Remus appeared out of nowhere to punch his captor in the face before sending him flying with a flick of his wand. The woman who had admonished them to have respect earlier removed her mask and Marlene smiled at them cheerfully.

"You lad's just don't know when to quit," she laughed as she removed their restraints.

Fabian Prewett, who had been the Death Eater holding Sirius, apologized for the rough treatment as he helped support Sirius's weight while his brother stood at his back shooting off a string of spells that were effectively keeping their attackers at bay. James was helped to his feet by Remus and tried to look for Lily, but couldn't see any more than a blur without his glasses.

"Let's get you guys home. You've got a wedding to go to," Remus chuckled buoyantly, ignoring James's light protests as they disapparated.

Lily, Alice, and Frank stood back to back in the midst of the crowd, giving them hell and pleased to see the Death Eaters breaking up, running or disapparating hastily. Glancing over her shoulder with a laugh, Lily caught sight of Dumbledore and Voldemort entrenched in the fight of their lives, but it was clear, even from across the hall, that Dumbledore would win. She felt her hopes soar as she realized this could be it; the fight could be over in a matter of minutes!

She gasped in surprise when Voldemort suddenly sprang from the dais into the crowd. Refusing to let him get away, she and the Longbottoms rushed forward to intercept him. A massive explosion knocked Death Eaters and members of the Order alike from their feet, sending them sprawling in untidy heaps in the mud. In the general confusion that ensued, Voldemort made good his escape, leaving his followers to quickly follow his example.

Dirty and weary, Lily pushed herself to her feet, looking around to survey the damage and sighing in relief when she saw that everyone was safe. They disapparated to the Longbottom's, where a post-rescue party was already underway. Frank's normally frigid mother was wearing a fluffy pink hat and passing around drinks while other members of his family provided music, food, medical assistance, and other forms of entertainment. Lily glanced around and wasn't surprised to find Sirius and James sitting in the midst of it all while Marlene and Emmeline patiently worked to heal their wounds.

Reluctantly, Lily disapparated, returning to the Potter mansion to tell his parents that everything was okay. She found them in their dressing gowns drinking coffee in the kitchen and Adele began crying in relief when she heard the news. They immediately decided to join the party at the Longbottom's and Lily told them she would catch up before heading up the stairs. She went into James's room to find his spare pair of glasses, but stopped when the light from the window reflected against her engagement ring, sending prisms dancing across the bed.

Crippling pain surged through her body as the reality of the last few hours finally dawned on her. Sinking to her knees, she pressed her hand over her mouth and fisted the other in the comforter of James's bed as she sobbed harshly. She had almost lost him. Had it not been for Peter, he could be dead at this moment. Despite her cautious approach to his work for the Order, she had never _really_ considered losing him before. It had never felt like a real possibility. James was just too confident and talented for anything to happen to him.

A loud crack startled her and she turned to find James standing in the middle of the room, bandaged up, leaning on a crutch, and smiling vaguely in her direction. "Hey there. Aren't you even glad I'm alive?"

Still crying, she crossed the space between them, gently placed his glasses on his nose, and slapped her hand half-heartedly against his chest before pulling him into a bone-crushing hug that made him wince in pain. "You're such an idiot!" she sobbed.

"I know. I'm sorry," he whispered, putting an arm around her waist. He let her cry herself out before smiling down into her swollen, tearstained face. "Thanks for saving my ass. It really would have sucked if I died two days before our wedding."

Mindless of his weakened state, she pushed him away from her and glared at him furiously as he stumbled. "How could you say something like that? I was worried _sick_ about you. You _could_ have died! What would I have done without you? This is _not_ funny, James!"

"I'm sorry, love, but none of this feels very real right now. Algie gave me something and... everything's just so funny," he tried to explain, unable to wipe the grin from his face or muster up the abject terror and relief he should be feeling. Limping toward her, he caught her hand and grinned down into her face. "Let's just go back to the Longbottom's, Lily. We'll get drunk and celebrate with our friends, then come back here and make love, because _that_ is what we're fighting for."

"Sex?" she laughed as she reluctantly allowed him to draw her close.

"_Life_, Lily. And all of the wonderful, awkward, funny things that come with it," he reminded her gently.

"You're deep when you've been drugged," she told him fondly.

James laughed out loud at that. "You should see me when I'm drunk. Now let's go enjoy what's important."

She finally relented and they returned to the Longbottom's to find the party in full swing. Lily helped James to find a seat among the crowd of bodies before getting him a stiff drink and taking her place beside him. Nearly twenty minutes later, Peter turned up and everyone cheered as he brandished Sirius and James's wands, which he had somehow managed to ferret out of the wreckage. He was greeted like a regular hero when everyone found out that he had been the first to galvanize the rescue party and he could barely stand under the pressure of his comrades slapping him enthusiastically on the back and knocking him around with jubilant hugs. Dorcas even kissed him, she was so pleased, causing him to blush furiously until Remus pressed a drink into his hand and muscled him into a chair.

With Lily's expert ministrations, neither James nor Sirius had a single mark on them by the morning of the wedding. They were standing anxiously with Peter and Remus at the front of the tiny chapel nearly a half hour before the service was set to start when Petunia slipped in the back, peering disdainfully around at the small crowd of wizards that had gathered for the ceremony. James caught sight of her as she took a seat and frowned before glancing over at his friends.

"Who's that?" Remus asked quietly, having never seen her before.

"Lily's sister. She didn't tell me she invited her," James explained shortly before heaving a weary sigh. "I guess it's my turn to be the bigger person."

James wove his way through the guests to the back and leaned over a pew to smile at Petunia. "Thanks for coming. Would you like to see Lily before the service?"

Petunia gave him a startled look before plucking nervously at her pale blue dress. "Oh, I suppose..."

He worked at not glaring at her because of her waspish tone as he led her through the atrium to the small side room where Lily was getting ready. He tapped on the door lightly and it was opened just a sliver for his mother to peer out at him. "I told you before, James, you're not allowed in here. Now shoo or I'll set your father after you."

"Lily's sister is here," he told her quietly, causing her eyes to widen in surprise.

Adele opened the door a fraction wider and her hand shot out to drag the young woman forward before slamming it in her son's face. Petunia stumbled into the room to find an old woman in sunshine yellow robes and several other younger woman all fluttering around her sister to help her prepare. Her hair, which had grown since she cut it in the summer, cascade down her back in thick curls, pinned with sparkling white lilies. Her dress was as plain as her sister's had been extravagant; covered in white lace and reaching to mid-calf. She caught sight of her sister in the mirror and stared for several seconds before spinning and flying at her, hugging her tightly.

"Oh! Tuny, I didn't think you'd come!" she cried in delight, kissing both of her cheeks before leaning back with a charming grin.

Petunia shifted uncomfortably, surprised that her sister didn't seem nervous or weepy at all. "I just came because you came to my wedding," she announced stiffly.

"Oh." Lily dropped her hands to her sides and took a step back. "Well, thank you for coming anyway."

They stood in awkward silence for a minute before Alice called Lily back so they could finish her hair. Not knowing how to excuse herself gracefully, Petunia hung in the background. She took in Lily's simple wedding attire, without even a necklace to dress it all up, and felt a twinge of pity for her sister that she was marrying a man who couldn't afford better. It wasn't long, however, before the women were ushered out, leaving Lily and Alice alone.

"Well that was awkward," Alice said wryly as she brushed her hand over Lily's dress.

Lily smiled and shrugged, picking up her simple bouquet. "I didn't think she would come. I'm so glad we could have a small wedding."

"Because mine was a nightmare on wings?" Alice chuckled in reply.

"Yes," Lily giggled impishly, giving her friend a quick hug.

In no time, Sirius arrived and escorted Alice out while Lily took her place beside Dumbledore, smiling at him prettily. She stood serenely beside her old mentor as she waited for their time to go in, wondering absently what the priest would think of all the people wearing wizard's robes. Dumbledore himself was wearing blue robes embroidered with stars and moons.

"How are you feeling?" he asked in a low voice as she fussed over her flowers one last time.

She didn't answer as they stepped into the doorway and her eyes met James's, causing them both to grin outrageously at one another. She didn't see Severus sneak in or her sister standing awkwardly at the back of the church. She barely noticed the guests crowding both sides of the aisle or Dumbledore passing her to James. She hardly heard a word the priest said. The only thing that really registered was James leaning in to tell her how beautiful she looked. Before she knew it, they were man and wife and James was leaning down to kiss her. Before she could pull away he put his arms around her waist, dragging her against his chest and lifting her from her feet. She let out a loud giggle as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him exuberantly, drawing laughter and catcalls from their guests.

When they returned to the Potter Manor for the reception, Lily gasped in surprise when she apparated, not into the ball room as she had intended, but into a dank, musty cave. She was about to try again when a thin light shone in the dark and Remus stepped forward with a smile to pluck her wand out of her hand.

"None of that, now, Lily. We've been planning this for years," he told her as he hugged her and kissed her cheek. "All you need to do is sit tight for an hour, tops, and we'll take you back. If you don't cooperate, I've been given permission to get tough."

"Permission from who, Remus?" she laughed as she took a step back and looked around hopelessly for a place to sit.

"Sirius, of course," he said with a grin. "Now I need to get going, but I'll be back."

"Remus, I don't want to spend half of my wedding day in a cave," she pleaded as she caught his arm. "Can't I go into the house, at least?"

Remus frowned at her suspiciously before glancing around them. "Only if you promise that you won't run away."

"Yes, yes, horrible consequences and all that," she waved him off, clinging to his sleeve. "Remus, did you ever consider the fact that I might want to _help_ you after all the rubbish James has put me through over the years?"

Remus's face broke into a slow grin at the suggestion and they had soon worked out a deal. He apparated into the Potter's ball room a few minutes later and nodded conspiratorially at Sirius. As if on cue, James arrived at Sirius's side with a nervous frown.

"Have you seen Lily, Padfoot?"

Sirius grinned and made a show of looking around the room before pointing out a thin redhead standing near Frank and Alice. "There she is, Prongs. You ought to be more careful or you might lose her."

He slapped his friend on the back with a loud laugh before leading him across the room to be united with his bride. James slipped his arm around her waist in relief, only to have her giggle hysterically and slap him away playfully. "Oh, James, what do you think you're doing? We don't want to give our guests a show, do we?" she asked in an oddly high pitched voice.

He raised an eyebrow at her and frowned. "Weren't you wearing a different dress before?"

Lily giggled and batted her eyes up at him. "Of course I was, silly! I changed before coming downstairs. I didn't want to get anything on my wedding dress!"

Sirius gave her a sharp look behind James's back before motioning for her to tone it down. Remus arrived at their side a moment later and asked Lily to dance. "No way, Moony," James announced firmly. "I get the first dance with my wife."

Lily giggled as he led her out onto the dance floor, but he was too busy with her stumbling lightly over his feet to talk to her. By the time they finished the first dance, he was fairly certain Sirius had given her something to drink, an idea that was only solidified as his best friend swooped in to claim the next dance with the bride.

"Tone it down Wormtail, he's getting suspicious," Sirius murmured in a low voice as they whirled away, wincing when Peter stepped on his foot.

"I kept telling you that Moony would have made a better Lily, Padfoot," Peter sighed miserably. "I don't know if I can keep this up for a whole hour."

"Forty-five minutes. You just need to let the Polyjuice Potion do its work, Wormtail. You _sound_ like her and look like her. All you need to do is _act_ like her for a little while longer," Sirius reminded him stubbornly.

Lily's pretty face contorted into a frustrated pout and Sirius had to keep himself from laughing. "It's harder than it looks, Padfoot!"

"Just don't think so hard about it," he advised, shooting an amused glance at Remus over her head.

James had to fight his anger with his friends as they feigned ignorance when he demanded to know what they'd done to his wife. He didn't notice the thickly veiled woman standing in a dark alcove of the ballroom taking everything in with great amusement. He didn't even notice that Peter was missing. He was so caught up with Lily's odd behavior that everything else lost importance. Every time he tried to kiss her, she would giggle inanely and push him away and she seemed almost eager to talk and dance with everyone _but_ him.

After nearly an hour of chasing her around the ballroom, he finally herded her to a seat at the head table, hoping a little food might make her feel better. He was surprised, however, when she crammed her plate to overflowing with everything she could get her hands on and stuffing her face enthusiastically. Putting a hand on her leg, he leaned in to speak to her, but she just giggled and shooed him away.

"Lily, what's going on?" he asked quietly as she continued to resist him.

"What are you talking about, Jamie?" she asked in a false, high pitched voice that caused James to stare at her. Was it just his imagination, or did she look heavier than usual? She beamed innocently and batted her big blue eyes at him and he frowned.

"You are so dead, Wormtail."

There was a loud scream and a tearing of fabric as Peter burst the seams of his dress and stumbled to get away from the enraged groom, causing all of the guests to turn and laugh. Lily removed the heavy veils Remus had provided her with and rushed toward them, catching James around the waist before he could pummel any of his friends and spinning him around to kiss her.

"That was _not_ funny," he told her sharply, weakening when she pulled his head down for another kiss and pressed herself firmly against him.

"I thought it was pretty hilarious," she told him playfully. "I'm surprised you didn't figure it out sooner. Just think of it as payback for seven years of pranks."

When she kissed him again, he couldn't think of a reason to argue with that.

Author's note: Thank you guys so much for the overwhelming response! I'm really glad you guys like it, and this last chapter really made me LOL.

So... I cut out the last chapter, because it made me feel dirty inside. It doesn't really go with the whole theme of the book and was really pointless. I'm working on something better, so please just be patient and hopefully I'll be able to bring you something that isn't crap as soon as possible.


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